*** DUzy Awards for week ending July 10, 2009 ***

JeffR

(1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Fri Jul-10-09 06:51 PM
Original message

Welcome to the inevitably unrecommended DUzy Awards, recognizing style, sass and sniping from the past week on DU. Congratulations to this week's winners!

Previous awards can be found in my journal.

Note to Mods: Skinner has authorized the DUzy Awards to be posted in GD.

Special thanks to rocktivity, CaliforniaPeggy, Kaleko, myrna minx, Xipe Totec, WillYourVoteBCounted, zbdent, Kurovski, Buzz Clik, eppur_se_muova, uppityperson, awoke_in_2003, wryter2000, ColbertWatcher, EFerrari, havocmom, Renew Deal and NanceGreggs for their invaluable assistance with this edition.

The DUzy Awards will be on extended hiatus until further notice.

On a thread by Puzzler: Palin: "I’ve never thought I needed a title before one’s name to forge progress in America"

DrToast: Then what was 'Miss Alaska' about?

GD, July 4, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x5989666

OP by grantcart: Soon to be former Gov Palin "calls an audible" "passes the ball" and "swings for the fences"

Wounded soldiers taught me to quit my office and not fulfill my oath of office

This (only slightly rephrased) and other lessons from the fractured mind of a sick woman.

Swinging for the fences Governor Palin passes the ball and breaks the record book with an impressive 34 (you betcha! 34) idiotic statements all crammed into a single press conference. It was an extra ordinary achievement in dissassembling in front of a national audience. It was laced with all kinds of completely mindless statments.

It included enough non sequitors to fill an entire campaign. The principal thrust of the non sequitors was that her action made sense because it was "not politics as usual". By that same use of logic conducting business in the governor's office in the nude would be as intelligent as resigning in the middle of the term that you took the oath of office for.

The principle 'reason' that was offered, and reason here being in its most tortured incarnation, was that continuing as a lame duck public official was simply a waste of tax payer money. Of course if that were true it would mean that she would be against term limits and would have to endorse removing the 22nd Ammendment.

It was absolutely shameless and insulting. She used her children repeatedly as props for quitting, just as she did in using them for her political ambitions.

The absolute low point however was when she asserted that her visiting with wounded military personnel she learned by their dedication and refusal to quit that she should immediately quit public office and not fill out the term for which she took the oath of office.

Full video and text: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/07/03/sarah-palin-resignation-s_n_225557.html

Here is how they break down:

Non Sequitor (1)(6)(8)(10)(12)(16)(18)(20)(30)(31)(32)(33)
Strawman (13)(14)(15)(21)(27)
Amateur Observations (2)(4)(23)
Idiotic Statements (3)(5)(9)(17)(22)(29)(34)
Outright Fabrication (7)(11)
Felonious use of an Analogy (19)
Gratuitous use of children (24)(25)(26)
Gratuitous use of military personnel (28)

1)People who know me know that besides faith and family, nothing's more important to me than our beloved Alaska. Serving her people is the greatest honor I could imagine.

(Obviously if that were true she wouldn't be resigning from the greatest honor she could imagine. Her imaginiation is taking her to higher honors in raking in money and running for greater offices)

2) But you don't hear much of the good stuff in the press anymore, do you?

(Reminds you of the Student Body President complaining that the school newspaper didn't appreciate the Prom DJ.)

3) Some say things changed for me on August 29th last year - the day John McCain tapped me to be his running-mate - I say others changed.

(Others changed? What the hell does that even mean?)

4) Political operatives descended on Alaska last August, digging for dirt. The ethics law I championed became their weapon of choice.

(Those damned ethics laws can be so inconvenient)

5) Over the past nine months I've been accused of all sorts of frivolous ethics violations - such as holding a fish in a photograph, . . . and answering reporters' questions.

(Yes the people seriously were concerned about you holding a fish and answering questions)

6) It's pretty insane - my staff and I spend most of our day dealing with THIS instead of progressing our state now. I know I promised no more "politics as usual," but THIS isn't what anyone had in mind for ALASKA.

(This actually is what "politics as usual" looks like when its played by 6th graders.)

7) I choose NOT to tear down and waste precious time; but to build UP this state and our country, and her industrious, generous, patriotic, free people!

(All you did during the campaign was to try and tear down people. Firing the head of the State Troopers for not getting involved in you family business was 100% not building people up)

8) Life is too short to compromise time and resources... it may be tempting and more comfortable to just keep your head down, plod along, and appease those who demand: "Sit down and shut up", but that's the worthless, easy path; that's a quitter's way out.

(Actually quitting is the quitter's way out and that is what you just did)

9) only dead fish "go with the flow".

(Actually everything that is carried in the water "goes with the flow")

10) And there is such a need to BUILD up and FIGHT for our state and our country. I choose to FIGHT for it! And I'll work hard for others who still believe in free enterprise and smaller government; strong national security for our country and support for our troops; energy independence; and for those who will protect freedom and equality and LIFE...

(Quitting as Governor is not choosing to 'fight for it')

11) I WILL support others who seek to serve, in or out of office, for the RIGHT reasons, and I don't care what party they're in or no party at all. Inside Alaska - or Outside Alaska.

(Your actions have shown you to be the most partisan of hacks, performing for people in your party is your only reason for existence in politics.)

12) But I won't do it from the Governor's desk.

(You will 'fight' but 'fighting' for noble objectives from the Governor's desk has somehow become unseemly. How come it wasn't unseemly when you took the oath of office.)

13) I've never believed that I, nor anyone else, needs a title to do this - to make a difference... to HELP people. So I choose, for my State and my family, more "freedom" to progress, all the way around... so that Alaska may progress... I will not seek re-election as Governor.

(Actually being Governor entails significant constitutional authority beyond having a "title")

14) I thought about how much fun some governors have as lame ducks... travel around the state, to the Lower 48 (maybe), overseas on international trade - as so many politicians do.

(Obviously simply because some governors waste their time as 'lame ducks' it doesn't follow that all lame duck Governors make no contribution.)

15) And then I thought - that's what's wrong - many just accept that lame duck status, hit the road, draw the paycheck, and "milk it". I'm not putting Alaska through that - I promised efficiencies and effectiveness! ? That's not how I am wired. I am not wired to operate under the same old "politics as usual." I promised that four years ago - and I meant it.

(Again an incredibly idiotic 'false choice' strawman. Just because others 'milk it' does not follow that a lame duck governor cannot fulfill their constitutional duties. This statement, if it had any reason to it, would be an argument against term limits, one your right wing friends' most treasured policy objectives.)

16) I am determined to take the right path for Alaska even though it is unconventional and not so comfortable.

(How is quiting taking Alaska down the 'right path'?)

17) With this announcement that I am not seeking re-election... I've determined it's best to transfer the authority of governor to Lieutenant Governor Parnell; and I am willing to do so, so that this administration - with its positive agenda, its accomplishments, and its successful road to an incredible future - can continue without interruption and with great administrative and legislative success.

(not transfering the authority of governor to the LG, you are quitting and letting the LG become the Governor)

18) My choice is to take a stand and effect change - not hit our heads against the wall and watch valuable state time and money, millions of your dollars, go down the drain in this new environment.

(Quitting is not 'taking a stand' and takes you out as a change agent)

19) Let me go back to a comfortable analogy for me - sports... basketball. I use it because you're na?ve if you don't see the national full-court press picking away right now: A good point guard drives through a full court press, protecting the ball, keeping her eye on the basket... and she knows exactly when to pass the ball so that the team can WIN. And I'm doing that - keeping our eye on the ball that represents sound priorities - smaller government, energy independence, national security, freedom! And I know when it's time to pass the ball - for victory.

(Well a 'good point guard' may pass the ball but a good point guard doesn't pass the ball and then run out of the gym at half time.)

20) I do not want to disappoint anyone with my decision; all I can ask is that you TRUST me with this decision - but it's no more "politics as usual".

(Just because its not politics as usual doesn't mean that it isn't politics as idiocy. Going to the governors office nude would not be politics as usual but it doesn't mean that it would be an improvement.

Simply doing something differently doesn't mean that it is actually better.)

21) Some Alaskans don't mind wasting public dollars and state time. I do.

(Yes there are millions of Alaskans that cherish wasting public dollars)

22) I cannot stand here as your Governor and allow millions upon millions of our dollars go to waste just so I can hold the title of Governor.

(Well that would only be true if you accept that being Governor is going to entail an endless trail of questionable actions that raise an endless trail of ethical investigations)

23) And my children won't allow it either. ? Some will question the timing. ? Let's just say, this decision has been in the works for awhile...

(Some will question the timing? No everyone questions the timing, the logic and everything about this idiotic statement)

24) In fact, this decision comes after much consideration, and finally polling the most important people in my life - my children (where the count was unanimous... well, in response to asking: "Want me to make a positive difference and fight for ALL our children's future from OUTSIDE the Governor's office?" It was four "yes's" and one "hell yeah!"

(sigh)

25) The "hell yeah" sealed it - and someday I'll talk about the details of that... I think much of it had to do with the kids seeing their baby brother Trig mocked by some pretty mean-spirited adults recently.)

(more sighs)

26) Um, by the way, sure wish folks could ever, ever understand that we ALL could learn so much from someone like Trig - I know he needs me, but I need him even more... what a child can offer to set priorities RIGHT - that time is precious...

(You learned from Trig that your time is so precious on earth that you don't have enough time to fulfill the oath of office that you took?)

27) the world needs more "Trigs", not fewer.

(Yes well that addresses the huge debate that the nation was having whether or not we should have more 'Trigs' or fewer)

28) My decision was also fortified during this most recent trip to Kosovo and Landstuhl, to visit our wounded soldiers overseas, those who sacrifice themselves in war for OUR freedom and security... we can ALL learn from our selfless Troops... they're bold, they don't give up

(These is perhaps the most aggrevating statement of the press conference: first it uses wounded soldiers for partisan purposes and secondly you are using wounded soldiers who refuse to quit to justify quitting)

29) *((Gotta put First Things First))*

(As opposed to the frequently advocated position of putting First Things Seventh)

30) First things first: as Governor, I love my job and I love Alaska. It hurts to make this choice but I am doing what's best for Alaska. I've explained why... though I think of the saying on my parents' refrigerator that says "Don't explain: your friends don't need it and your enemies won't believe you anyway."

(Again this is a multiple offender. First you have said many things but explained nothing, and even though you didn't give any logical explanation you purport to do so and then offer advice that you shouldn't do what you claimed to have done and in fact did not do - time for some Aspirin)

31) But I have given my reasons... no more "politics as usual" and I am taking my fight for what's right - for Alaska - in a new direction.

(Again not explained and simply not being "usual" doesn't mean that it is worthwhile or intelligent or in Alaska's interest.)

32) Now, despite this, I don't want any Alaskan dissuaded from entering politics after seeing this REAL "climate change" that began in August... no, we NEED hardworking, average Americans fighting for what's right! And I will support you because we need YOU and YOU can effect change, and I can too on the outside.

(Your entire rant is a statement on how counter productive it is to enter public office. You end the sub rant by saying that you can do it more effective outside of government - obviously dissuading any knucklehead who is listening to you to run for office.)

33) . . who also have enough common sense to acknowledge when conditions have drastically changed and are willing to call an audible and pass the ball when it's time so the team can win! And that is what I'm doing!

(You are calling an audible? Does that mean that you didn't have a play in mind when you started the press conference? Again the analogy makes you wonder how many quarterbacks call an audible and then quit the game in the third quarter)

34) In the words of General MacArthur said, "We are not retreating. We are advancing in another direction."

(And of course everyone knows that MacArthur was in fact retreating but trying to put a brave face on it. So are you saying that everything that you have said is completely the opposite of the facts and that you are trying to put a brave face on it?)

GDP, July 4, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x8510440

On a thread by DainBramaged: So they had a tea party in my neck of the woods yesterday

rurallib: If these people had been alive in 1776

we'd be speaking British!

GD, July 5, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x5996729

OP by KansasVoter: Also, you have been warned, do not insult or defame or libel Palin here or you might be sued!

Consider this your official notice!

Carry on!

Flash Bazbo: I believe she is a Mooselim. Is that actionable in court?

GDP, July 5, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x8513016

On a thread by Franzia: Chinese airline may offer cheaper fares to passengers who stand

"The proposal would allow the airline to cram 40% more travelers into its planes while cutting operating costs 20%. Passengers would be strapped to a bar-stool-like stand during takeoff and landing."

Better Believe It: They will have a strap that you can grab ahold of like subway trains!

That's the ticket!

I wonder if they will make an even cheaper ticket available .... one where they just strap you onto a wing?

qazplm: oxygen and parka

extra of course.

And see below for a Special Visual Achievement award from this thread.

GD, July 5, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x5997451

On a thread by Captain Lance Bass: " In Honor Of Al Franken's Stealing A Senate Seat, Today I Fired 2 Dems

...who were my suppliers, I am switching to others, I don't need them.

If cap & trade goes through, I will lay off 10 dem employees & hire others in their place who aren't part of the useful idiots... I have 20, most of the dem UI's aren't that great anyhow...

I hope every con who can will do the same...

Put them out of a job in a market that's near impossible to find one! It will possibly make them grow... "

Full thread and Hannity Insanity Land

http://forums.hannity.com/showthread.php?t=1534741

      City of Mills: I fired 32 Republicans from my multimillion dollar shipping company

Right after Palin resigned - they were the laziest workers on the dock anyway.

      NoPasaran: That's nothing

I had my republican CFO thrown into a volcano just for sneezing!

      Dr Fate: I didn't know that so many powerful conservative businessmen worked from their parent's basement.

GDP, July 5, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x8511879

OP by derby378: GOP physicists discover new element

Physicists at the Lawrence Livermore Laboratories, operating on a grant from the Republican National Committee, have discovered the heaviest element yet known to science.

The new element, dubbed sarahpalinium (Sp), exhibits a nucleus with properties that have yet to be discovered in any other atomic nucleus, including the presence of two new hadrons: youbetchatrons, which are made up primarily of charm quarks; and nordstrons, which appear to be made up of strange quarks which constantly interact with campaign funds. These hadrons, which have not yet been counted, are buffered in the nucleus by one neutron, one lieutenant neutron, 20 deputy lieutenant neutrons, 40 assistant deputy lieutenant neutrons, and 15,000 employee neutrons, giving sarahpalinium an atomic mass of no less than 15,062. These hadrons are held together by elementary forces called morons which occasionally emit radiation in the form of alpha, beta, and inwhatrespectcharlie particles.

Sarahpalinium is orbited by an indeterminate number of lepton-like particles called peons, with only one peon occupying the innermost shell (the "Todd shell") and exercising an unusual influence over the sarahpalinuium nucleus. Beyond the Todd shell is a shell with five peons (the "Track/Bristol/Willow/Piper/Trig shell"), and a third shell with 9,780 peons (the "Wasilla shell").

Sarahpalinium impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of sarahpalinium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take as long as four years to complete.

Sarahpalinium is inherently unstable, possessing a half-life that will expire on July 26, 2009. At this point, sarahpalinium will either wink out of existence or develop a controversial fourth peon shell that some physicists claim may contain all remaining matter in four-dimensional spacetime, which means that the very universe may indeed revolve around sarahpalinium.

Link to follow... :silly:

      zbdent: I thought it was palindumassium ...

where the element is so dense it causes brain damage to anyone near it ... resulting freepertoidisis ...

      derby378: Well, sarahpalinium IS rather dense...

Just take a look at that bizarre nucleus. :hi:

      zbdent: and that nucleus attracts pressitrons and newsitrons ...

it's a strange molecule ... it tries to both attract AND repel pressitrons and newsitrons ...

edited to add:

and it emits Foxtons ... pronounced "Fauxtons" ...

GD, July 5, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x5994938

On a thread by sabra: Sarah Palin Called GOP Leaders Before Quitting (Cheney, Giuliani, Crist)

      RUMMYisFROSTED: Cheney?

:rofl:

      RUMMYisFROSTED: Giuliani?

:rofl:

      RUMMYisFROSTED: Crist?

:rofl:

      Mabus: Oh my!

:hide:

      flamingyouth: I first read it as "Christ"

Imagine my surprise. :rofl:

      nolabear: Well, Jesus is her boyfriend

But the kid is not his son.

LBN, July 6, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3956054

On a thread by Blackhatjack: According to Palin: "Department Of Law" Protects The President ... LINK

"Naturally, skeptical observers have wondered how Palin would handle being president if some ethics complaints are enough to make her unable to run a state. Palin's answer: if she was president, the Department of Law would protect her.

Palin said there is a difference between the White House and what she has experienced in Alaska. If she were in the White House the 'department of law' would protect her from baseless ethical allegations.

'I think on a national level your department of law there in the White House would look at some of the things that we've been charged with and automatically throw them out,' she said..."

Javaman: I think she needs to consult the dept of facts. nt

GD, July 7, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x6007582

On a thread by kpete: Palin: If I Were In The WH, "The Department Of Law" Would Protect Me

      tj2001: The Department of Law is next to the Department of Fishing Licenses on the 1st floor

it's to your right as you walk in

      Ikonoklast: If you see the Department of Army Guys, you went too far.

Go back three doors, and ask for Joe the Lawyer.

      tekisui: Who is our current Secretary of Law?

      Kalyke: Why don't you know? Judge Dredd, of course!

      Contrary1: I dunno about all that...

but can someone direct me to the Department of Toilets? Quickly, please.

      ThoughtCriminal: The Department of Nice

would also offset all those awful things people keep saying.

      charlie: Not in office yet and she's already increased the size of gov't n/t

GD, July 7, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x6005225

OP by Tommy_Carcetti: Details emerge on Sarah Palin's autobiography

The book will be published by Harper Collins, and the hardback is expected to hit bookshelves in Spring 2010. The book will be feature approximately 300 pages, 20 chapters, and 5 sentences worth of material.

An advance excerpt of the book was released today:

"And so you know I was in the PTA and also a hockey mom and I felt like any old Joe Sixpack but not like any of those fancy pants community organizers because you know they don't care about America and they just want to see your taxes go up and also they are friends with terrorists who want to bomb the White House and you know that wouldn't be good when Vladimir Putin rears his ugly head over Alaska and also other places and anywhere you can see Russia from your house because you know he'll enter your airspace and also that would make the news and you know I read all of the newspapers like when I read about the Supreme Court decision and there are a few Supreme Court decisions I don't agree with but I am not going to say which ones and also I love America and everything about America you know...."

      democrat_patriot: Riveting.

Can I pre-order?

      Tempest: Make sure to include the barf bags in your order

The heavy duty ones lined with plastic.

The regular paper ones won't cut it.

      SCantiGOP: It sounds like

Mark Sanford edited it for her.

      woo me with science: This is obviously a fake.

No random capitalizations or exclamation points.

      malaise: But what about

The Department of Law?

      smirkymonkey: Who's doing the illustrations?

And will it eventually be translated into English?

      Uben: The truth is......

......she actually quit after the second sentence and never finished the autobiography because, you know, she had to go on to a higher calling, and she didn't want to waste people's money and other things.

GD, July 7, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x6006732

OP by andyrowe: Why Did Palin Cross The Road?

She didn't. She walked 3/4ths of the way and quit!

:rofl:

steelyboo: She Didn't

However, she did she a Russian chicken on the other side.

Mabus: Because she saw a microphone.

:)

GDP, July 7, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x8516290

OP by TheCoxwain: What did Obama say after going to Russia?

"Hey ... I can see Alaska from here" ....

GDP, July 7, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x8515672

OP by Bicoastal: I'm going to ignore something by calling attention to it!

This is the best idea ever!

A DUzy for every response.

GD, July 7, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x6009523

On a thread by CitizenPatriot: Next Stop on Palin's Crazy Talk Express

Seriously, Republicans...Really?

The Republicans are trying to sell us on their Secessionist Sweetheart, Sarah Palin, as Presidential material in 2012. They're working every media outlet they can, utilizing their "co-opt the language" method of re-branding a bad thing into a good thing.

We're being told that it's not quitting when Sarah quits! It's brave and courageous and brilliant! They tell us it doesn't matter that she quit, or in Republicanese, "She had a higher calling"...

elehhhhna: She's a Quitbull!

Editorials & Other Articles, July 7, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=103x461608

On a thread by Blue_Tires: Oscar Mayer dies at 95

"Oscar G. Mayer, retired chairman of the Wisconsin-based meat processing company that bears his name, has died at the age of 95.

Mayer's wife, Geraldine, said he died of old age Monday age at Hospice Care in Fitchburg.

He was the third Oscar Mayer in the family that founded Oscar Mayer Foods, which was once the largest private employer in Madison. His grandfather, Oscar F. Mayer, died in 1955 and his father, Oscar G. Mayer Sr., died in 1965..."

      LiberalEsto: Will his coffin be shaped like a bun? nt

      woodsprite: I won't even make a crack about what 'preservatives' they'll use.... n/t

      guitar man: see, told you so

All the fat, cholesterol, salt and preservatives in those things will kill ya. Imagine how long he would have lived if he hadn't eaten all that stuff. :D

      Curtland1015: I hear his funeral will be attended by fat kids, skinny kids, kids who climb on rocks...

...tough kids, sissy kids, EVEN kids with chicken pox.

      Buzz Clik: The Armour company will feel betrayed.

      Curtland1015: That's what they get for making fun of the fat sissies that eat their hot dogs.

      Buzz Clik: Interesting point -- Armour's campaign was designed to reach out to a diverse clientele. Instead,...

... they offended the sick, the overweight, small, large, and anyone who felt alienated. These people became Oscar Mayer customers with deep brand loyalty.

:thumbsup:

      YDogg: baloney

      Auggie: Tonight I'll mourn his passing with a cocktail

wiener or two.

      YOY: You know, I allways thought the first name in Bologna was "Velzna".

Oooh...an intellectual joke...I must be moving past my "dick and fart" joke standard.

      meegbear: I wonder if his wish comes true?

:shrug:

      Algorem: I think it would sulfites to say that his death leaves a chunk of gristle in America's heart

that won't be easily flossed away.

      htuttle: The weiners are at half-mast today at Oscar Mayer Headquarters

I drive past the place on my way home from work, and today it looked positively flaccid...

And see below for the inevitable Special Visual Achievement awards from this thread.

LBN, July 8, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3958559

On a thread by raccoon: Du'ers who know Latin, please help. What's this mean?

"Conservito delenda est pro is deleo orbis terrarum!"

      HopeHoops: "The hermit crab broke out of the terrarium"

Or it might mean "I have terrible stinky gas" - I forget.

      MineralMan: Expired Jam is for use only in round terrariums.

I'm pretty sure that's correct.

      SoxFan: "Call the Triumverate right fucking now!"

      gmoney: "People called Romans they go the house"

      Inchworm: Conservatives have good land in their eyes

?

:silly:

      rug: Conservatives must be placed in a terrarium.

      Strong Atheist: Latin's a dead language, as dead as dead can be; first it killed the Romans, and now it's killing

me...

The Lounge, July 8, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8912543

OP by arcadian: Present commentary about yourself from the perspective of an inanimate object you see daily.

Mailbox:

"No, you fucking loser, that crap you ordered on eBay isn't here today either. You come out here with the anxious look on your face and leave disappointed. Why do you buy that shit? It's just more worthless crap that's going to clutter your house up even more. God you are a pathetic loser. I laugh when you expect something in the mail and you don't get it when you think it will be here. You need to learn patience. Oh wait, I get it, it's all about the anticipation of receiving something not the actual something itself. My estimation of you has dropped even further, if that's possible. Get a life, fuckface."

      Tuesday Afternoon: mirror

make up is Not going to help.............

      CaliforniaPeggy: My computer chair:

My god, here she comes again! Don't you have anything better to do than just sit, sit, sit? All that typing! And when you snack, oh boy. Crumbs and crap everywhere. I haven't been cleaned, in well, FOREVER.

Jeez. And when you want to pull up to that damned keyboard, you cram my arms under the table. OW! Haven't you noticed the scrapes YET?

Good god, woman. Get a life, willya?

:eyes:

      The Velveteen Ocelot: Vacuum cleaner.

So here I sit, never doing a damn thing, even though your house looks like a cat farm blew up, what with all that damn fur everywhere -- which I could take care of in just a few minutes, suck it right up, if you'd get off your fat, dead ass, plug me in and switch me on and let me do my fucking job. Or if you don't want to actually clean, you lazy slob, at least power me up and let me watch those dumb furbag cats

of yours freak out... C'mon; I suck!

      suninvited: My purse

"you really think THAT is gonna fit in here with all this other crazy junk you have stuffed in me? Have you ever thought about how I am already stressed at the seams as it is? What about cleaning me out once in a while? You have chapstick in here that you havent touched in two years, not that you could even find it if your lips were peeling off your freaking face. Have you ever thought about giving me a rest and just getting yourself a SUITCASE to carry around?"

      KamaAina: The office computer:

Oh, here he comes, logging in again. I haven't the heart to tell him that all he has in his inbox are four inane Facebook messages, a pitch from Howard Dean, and some spam. Oh, and two of his impossible crushes posted yet more lovey-dovey messages to their respective FB pages. Say, come to think of it, this could be fun!

"Windows is starting up..." :evilgrin:

The Lounge, July 8, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8913807

On a thread by Skinner: We are introducing a new DU feature that people have been requesting for a long time. (EDITED)

We have finally upgraded the DU Recommend function to allow people to "Unrecommend" as well...

      MindMatter: And what if everybody unrecommends THIS thread?

      gkhouston: DU won't be crowded tomorrow? n/t

      jgraz: This may end up in the "be careful what you wish for" bin

Where the GP is filled with posts like "Puppies R Cute" and "I like pie" and anything interesting or contentious hovers around a net rec count of zero.

I'm curious to see how this turns out. No matter what, it's gonna be fun. :D

      Skinner: I'll eat my hat if "Puppies Are Cute" or "I like pie" end up at the top of the Greatest Page. (nt)

      jgraz: I'd post one, but I know you'll just lock it and declare victory

:P

      katsy: K &

:woohoo: U :woohoo:

      Norrin Radd: How about a "Neutral" button. Then we can have a "Whatever" page.

Kidding.

GD, July 9, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x6021143

OP by sendero: My Recommended has no meaning..

... if unrecommended is going to be legalized! It just makes a sham of the whole institution!

I'm writing my congressperson to request legislation. The Defense Of Recommended Act will prevent the scourge of Unrecommended from debasing my precious Recommended. I hope you will join me!

      BlooInBloo: I wish I could change my screen name to "Unrecommend" - then everyone would vote for MEEEE!!!!

:rofl:

      armyowalgreens: That's right...I unrec'ed this shit.

What now bitches?

      LynneSin: Should I contact the Department of Laws?

:shrug:

GD, July 9, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x6027950

OP by LoZoccolo: With unreccomend, I can build my own anti-Nader army. (Now I like it.)

I was dissing it before, but now I can like it. We can keep the front page clean.

      NYC_SKP: Unrecommend got me out of debt AND it whitened my teeth!

:P

      BlooInBloo: Unrec saved me a bundle on my car insurance.

      Arkana: Whoever thought that a single Unrecommend could make a man larger?

      zeemike: I bet there is an anti Chavez army forming as we speak.

Can't let the commies dictators get any attention now can we.

      moggie: Unrecommend: apply directly to forehead

GDP, July 9, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x8520337

On a thread by FLAprogressive: RIP: Critical Thought on DU

Any post that does not 'toe the line' so to speak will be immediately "unrecommended" by the operatives.....now the greatest page will be filled with cheerleader threads, just how the All Star Cheerleaders want it....

      hfojvt: I am thinking critical thoughts right now

about this OP.

Somebody alert the mods, quick!

      bridgit: In case of emergency break glass and supplant "opinion" with 'mindset', I've found that helpful

:kick:

      SpartanDem: Operatives? You think people are sitting in smokey rooms conspiring to unrec threads?

      anigbrowl: That's what happens after you get to 1000 posts.

      BurtWorm: I should have disclosed long ago that I'm on the payroll of Big Unrecommend.

      SpartanDem: Are you guys hiring?

      BurtWorm: I don't recommend applying.

I couldn't give you a letter of recommendation, anyway.

      bridgit: So you.........*un*recommend applying?

:kick:

GD, July 9, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x6022595

On a thread by earth mom: The Unrecommend Feature SILENCES Free Speech and Dissent.

Anyone who does not like what you have to say can come along and silence you with a single click.

The unrecommend click has the very last word.

It silences and oppresses opposing views and it is wrong.

This is NOT what this country was founded upon and the founding fathers are no doubt they are rolling in their graves at what is happening in this country.

This is something out of one of Orwell's books.

But I'm sure the DLC loves it.

      WeDidIt: Kicked and Unrecommended. n/t

      Ikonoklast: Get enough 'unrec' votes and Skinner comes to your house

and lights a flaming bag of poop on your doorstep, then runs away.

      SemiCharmedQuark: I heard he smashes your computer up with his big Fascist hands.

      Ikonoklast: While wearing a Brown Shirt and singing the "Horst Wessel" song.

We've all been played for suckers.

:rofl:

      krispos42: And then he reads from "The Poison Mushroom"...

...while EarlG and Elad give a dramatic interpretive puppet show.

I get to run the green spotlight. I'm awesome.

Okay, it's actually a Mag-Lite with the lens covered with green tape. I'm still awesome. :P

      LiberalFighter: Wouldn't it be better to have a Republican in the bag to light up?

Would be just as messy.

      Ikonoklast: Do you want a conflagration?

Can you imagine the size of the fire if you had, say, the amount of fat and grease from Rushbo in a bag?

That's not a prank, that's a war crime.

It would make fire-bombing of Dresden look like a backyard picnic.

      Carl Skan: So you want to...

...silence the ability of people to express their dissent to a thread in order to make sure they don't silence dissent?

Am I right or should I ride that infinite do loop a little longer?

      SemiCharmedQuark: "This is something out of Orwell's books"?!?!?! Are you serious??

If the worst thing in Orwell's books was that something didn't make it to the GREATEST PAGE, then he's highly overrated. I could understand if a post would be deleted should it have a certain number of unrecs but that is simply not the case.

      scheming daemons: Shit... if all it takes was a single unrec click to shut some people up... this place will be quiet

in a hurry.

      uppityperson: indeed. oh crap, I'm still not silenced.

      Tommy_Carcetti: You know, the Nazis had unrecommend buttons they made the Jews click.

      Javaman: first they took away my unrecommend buttons...nt

      Common Sense Party: The founding fathers don't give a shit what is recommended on DU.

If they're rolling in their graves about anything, it's probably about how many times people today allege that the founding fathers are rolling in their graves about something specious or silly.

      Carl Skan: The only thing the founding fathers would hate about the UR feature

is the fact that blacks and women are able to use it.

      LanternWaste: self-delete

edit: self-delete... or self-censorship... or self-silencing, or whatever Orwell would call it...

      Canuckistanian: The Unrecommend feature kicked my puppy

Bastid.

      onenote: I want to unrecommend the OP and recommend the responses

Can we change the system again?

      Arugula Latte: Unrecommend this thread and tell 10 of your friends to unrecommend it.

If you don't do it, you will DIE within seven days. A girl failed to unrecommend this thread and the next day she choked on a calzone and DIED.

SERIES!!!1!1! :o

      rug: This thread makes no sense. I have everyone but one here on ignore.

      myrna minx: Is this a meta thread?

I can't tell anymore. :cry:

      Matariki: "This is something out of one of Orwell's books"

Because new web features always make me think of rats gnawing at my face :rofl:

      Laelth: 554 responses, and this thread is not on the Greatest Page.

That's pathetic.

:dem:

GD, July 9, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x6023674

OP title by panader0: Ensign busted to semen first class

After the revelation of his parents paying off the woman and her husband, I can see nothing political in his future. Step down asshole.

GD, July 10, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x6031263

On a thread by Freddie Stubbs: Obama Tells Pope He Wants Fewer Abortions

Bluenorthwest: Gosh. How many has he been having?

GDP, July 10, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x8521537

On a thread by Renew Deal: Man jailed for sex act with sister in park

"A man drunk on mouthwash who performed oral sex on his unconscious sister in Rainbow Park was sentenced to jail-time served and three years probation Tuesday in Sarnia court. The 38-year-old pleaded guilty to committing an indecent act May 4 in the south Christina Street park.

A publication ban was imposed to protect the sister’s identity.

The man doesn’t recall the incident but didn’t dispute it occurred, based on a witness’s statement.

A family visiting the park about 6:30 p.m. came upon the couple on a park bench, police had reported earlier.

Defence lawyer Robert McFadden noted his client was incomprehensible when arrested because he and his sister had been drinking alcohol-laced mouthwash..."

      Forkboy: On the plus side, his breath was minty fresh for the arraignment.

      redqueen: 6:30 p.m. Right out in front of God and everybody.

Remind me again why weed's not legal?

      Renew Deal: You're right. Let's outlaw mouthwash.

:D

      CaliforniaPeggy: I hope they didn't drink all of it...

When she wakes up, she'll need some more... :puke:

      MilesColtrane: His defense at the trial was that he was just scoping her out.

      redqueen: You are so, so very not right.

Yes, I did a lol.

      MilesColtrane: When life hands me drunken-mouthwash-incest lemons,...

...I try to make drunken-mouthwash-incest lemonade.

:hi:

      old mark: Fucking Canadians.....we should have taken them over when we had the chance.

Whenever that was....

:shrug:

      Strong Atheist: 1812. We lost, sorta. nt.

      old mark: Well, maybe next time.......nt

      EndersDame: Notice How This Was Not in The South

      johnnie: Yes

It was his sister, not a mule.

The Lounge, July 10, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8917720

OP by andyrowe: Hitler Finds Out Palin Resigns

Political Videos, July 4, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=385x332526

On a locked thread: I appreciate Constructive Criticism

pinto: Locking -

"We consider it a personal attack to call a liar a liar, to call a moron a moron, or to call a jerk a jerk."

http://www.democraticunderground.com/forums/rules_detailed.html

Thanks for your understanding.

GD, July 8, 2009

On a locked poll: President Obama Has Never Been The Victim Of Unfair Criticism Here - Agree/Disagree?

rasputin1952: Locking...

55 gal drum of gas...check

matches...check

Before this goes into meltdown, I am going to save GD-P the situation of calling out the DU Fire Dept.

GDP, July 9, 2009

OP by ColbertWatcher: Palin picture fun!

responses #5, #12, #17, #48, #56, #61, #63 & #64 by City of Mills

response #10 by graywarrior

responses #11 & #18 by Inchworm

responses #24, #30 & #46 by ColbertWatcher

response #19 by Xipe Totec

response #38 by MilesColtrane

response #40 by sfpcjock

response #86 by MajorChode

And plenty more!

The Lounge, July 4, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8903793

OP by zulchzulu: FREE Palin/Bachmann 2012 desktop wallpaper... wow, what a ticket!

response #2 by ret5hd

response #11 by zulchzulu

responses #24, #30 & #46 by ColbertWatcher

GDP, July 5, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x8512157

On a thread by friendly_iconoclast: Best teabagger photo EVAR (Boston, MA)

response #1 by pepperbear

response #29 by AwakeAtLast

response #12 by bananas

response #44 by Bucky

response #25 by beac

GD, July 5, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x5997372

On a thread by Franzia: Chinese airline may offer cheaper fares to passengers who stand

response #1 by DJ13

GD, July 5, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x5997451

On a thread by proud2BlibKansan: Monday afternoon humor hit - this picture needs to be posted again. Go teabaggers!!

response #3 by BeatleBoot

response #13 by SalmonChantedEvening

GD, July 6, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x6001986

OP by Wafture: Sarah Palin: A Tribute ------>

GD, July 7, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x6010932

On a thread by Aqaba: There's a sleestack on Larry King right now

response #3 by Aqaba

GD, July 7, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x6004202

OP by jazzjunkysue: Caption this photo

response #5 by sakabatou

response #9 by jazzjunkysue

response #14 by greguganus

response #16 by Kurovski

response #19 by jgraz

response #21 by kayakjohnny

response #29 by beac

GDP, July 7, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x8515353

OP by Amerigo Vespucci: Obama's a great President so far...don't get me wrong...he just doesn't clear enough brush.

The Lounge, July 7, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8911584

On a thread by Blue_Tires: Oscar Mayer dies at 95

response #4 by BlueJazz

response #5 by tularetom

response #10 by rurallib

response #13 by Botany

response #33 by Buzz Clik

LBN, July 8, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3958559

OP by Solly Mack: Graduates of Temper -Tantrum Academy

response #15 by ContinentalOp

response #19 by pepperbear

response #21 by HCE SuiGeneris

response #23 by optimal-tomato

response #24 by csziggy

GD, July 9, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x6026015

OP by Jackeens: PHOTO Flip, Now President Is Pictured Eyeing Up A German In A Dress

response #3 by Blaze Diem

response #5 by Beacool

response #14 by yellowcanine

response #11 by zulchzulu

response #12 by Orsino

response #13 by Arkana

GDP, July 10, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x8521006