Pet Owner Not Bothering To Neuter Loser Cat

[meegbear]

Mike Oakland, 29, told reporters Monday he is not about to pay $100 to have his 5-month-old cat, Mowgli, neutered, because he has no expectations that the dull, paunchy tabby will ever get laid.

"For all he's going to use those balls, he might as well keep them," said Oakland, adding that he'd bet anyone any amount of money that the striped kitten will die a virgin. "He never leaves the house, and I've seen how the neighbor cat looks at him. Completely platonic." When reached for comment, a spokesperson from the Florida Humane Society reiterated that it's important to have all pets spayed or neutered, even ugly lame-o's who probably couldn't score in a roomful of calicos in heat.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/pet_owner_not_bothering_to?utm_source=a-section

[Cleita]

1. He'll change his mind when Mowgli pees on the mattress and shreds the

drapes. :-)

[Xipe Totec]

5. Experience is a dear teacher, but fools learn at no other

- Benjamin Franklin

[pipi_k]

18. I'm not holding out much hope for him learning much

because fuckwads who refuse to spay or neuter their animals for stupid reasons usually end up blaming the animal for doing what animals do.

Then it's the animal who ends up suffering when it's put into a shelter, turned loose into the streets, or euthanized.


Sometimes I really really hate human beings.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

2. We have one so far -

how many other people are not going to get this, I wonder?

<counting...............>

[MADem]

6. That's hysterical!!!! Tearfully amusing!

[RebelOne]

9. Nobody seems to be getting it.

Have they noticed that it is from The Onion?

[Jack Rabbit]

14. I almost posted something about Mr. Oakland's expertise on cats

. . . and noticed it.

It's not like pet owners anthropomorphizing their pets is unusual, but cats just mate. Trust me, I know. And incest is definitely not a feline concept. I've got a cutie trying to play with my keyboard as I type right now who is related to himself as a first cousin.

[pipi_k]

22. It would probably be funnier if there weren't actually people that stupid in the world

I mean, I have a pretty good sense of humor, but not when it comes to people who actually WOULD think exactly that way..."My cat/dog/ferret/mountain lion/Tibetian Yak is never gonna get laid, so I'm not gonna spay/neuter it."

[RebelOne]

10. Dupe. Deleted.

[badgerpup]

23. (whistles innocently)...

Not gonna say nuffin'...accept "Oh, what a chop! My eyes are watering!"

[Tan Gent]

3. "My Hoomanz luv me, dey buyed me a purty red colar and

cut my ballz off.


:rofl:

[onehandle]

4. I hope he enjoys the smell of male cat spray.

I don't. We always get our cats neu....

And it was right here that I noticed it was an Onion piece.

Good one.

:)

[Lone_Star_Dem]

7. Love it! nt

[angstlessk]

8. when I saw how cute that kitten was I knew ... hell, I'd want him!

well, turtle on man..can cute kitties be far behind?

[surrealAmerican]

15. They really did need an uglier picture for this.

He's just too cute.

[CatWoman]

17. remember Mr. Peebles?

looks sorta like him :)

[lindisfarne]

11. Note the source. Unfortunately, there are idiotic owners out there, too,although they usually aren't

cat lovers.

[Echo In Light]

12. Ha.True, that.

We had our 2 male kitter friends neutered at the same time/age as kittens. It was the first time I'd taken a pet to have that done, and as one male species to another I felt terrible ... although it's been worth it to have them not spraying everything! ...yikes

[sui generis]

13. Dallas has a new--ish spay/neuter law

You have to pay 150 bucks to take the class to opt out, and then 100 per pet per year and plus a stiffer registration.

FUCK THAT. I have already paid to have every stray in the neighborhood spayed and neutered. I have a middling old "inside" cat and a chihuahua of the same age who will not be spayed, AND I've written directly to city council informing them that I'm breaking the law and intend to continue doing so as a matter of civil disobedience. I do have a neutered staffordshire and another kitty who does occasionally sit on the porch who is neutered, but it's the SAME OLD LOWEST COMMON DENOMINATOR bullshit.

Not to mention, and let's call this turd a turd: every veterinarian in Dallas was behind the new ordinance because it benefitted them financially. Arguments to the contrary in council review were summarily dismissed without comment, since the city wanted to jump on the revenue bandwagon too. It was not representative government, and the people who the law supposedly targets have done nothing since they've never registered a pet to begin with. It's fucking RETARDED.

The law was jammed down the throats of people who were most willing to comply. Well, let them pay, I'm not.

[lindisfarne]

16. You realize, of course, the law was passed to achieve the same thing you wrere trying to achieve in

having strays neutered/spayed?

I commend you for that.

Most owners are not very responsible about keeping indoor cats inside, thus the need for the law, although I suspect you are. In your case, I wouldn't have written - just kept the animals inside.

Although if an animal somehow sneaks out, you could end up with a pregnancy, which isn't good in older animals (I can understand not wanting to risk surgery on an older animal, but why didn't you have them spayed when younger.) Also, I believe breeders use birth control on dogs at least, so you might look into that as a way to prevent the pregnancy. I personally can't imagine dealing with the headache of an unspayed animal.

[sui generis]

21. But the Dallas law, although it pretends to good

has not been effective in any material way in the past year. Even the "no-kill" animal shelters here are at the point where they have to consider euthanasia . . . in some cases of spayed and neutered homeless pets! Granted, over time there might be some impact, but understand that most responsible people spay and neuter their pets already. The real culprits are most of our new nationals from underdeveloped and rural areas south of the border who don't view domestic pets as household members but rather wildlife; a much different idea than our social contract with those same animals. All of my pets are or have ever been rescues - and yet this ordinance imposes a financial punishment and is INTENDED to inconvenience people annually, and be costly annually if they don't wish to comply.

The City of Dallas rammed this through with the veterinarian community strongly behind it, but in the end I don't believe there has been a significant increase in surgery revenue as a result either. People who are responsible enough to take their pets to the vet are already being responsible about their pets' reproductive lives.

What that means is the City of Dallas enforces this when I take my pets to a veterinarian for their routine care by reporting me. The City of Dallas then sends me a fine (up to $2000 per pet) for non-compliance, and I believe there is something like $600,000 in unpaid pet fines this year alone. Presumably they could do an alias warrant on those same kind of fines, just as they do for parking violations, and I believe they eventually will. I can get out of it, but once again people who can least afford to defend themselves in court will end up being screwed.

It's not a good ordinance, and at the time it should have been amended to be effective, it was adopted out of whole cloth. Bad city council, bad!

[lindisfarne]

25. I live in an area where plenty of not-new-nationals whose ancestors came from Europe fail to spay/

neuter animals. Using racist arguments doesn't help support your opinion.

There are idiots everywhere, irregardless of ancestry or "newness" of American citizenship. Most of the people I see acting irresponsibly with respect to animals are of Northern European ancestry, whose families have been in the US for at least 3 generations.

It sounds like pet owners have a number of choices in Dallas: get animals spayed/neutered, take animals out of Dallas for check ups, get reported, pay the annual fee, (unfortunately, there's also the choice of not taking animals in for care, but those who choose that option likely weren't good on that front to begin with).

I doubt this was pushed through by the vets for increased revenue.

It likely provides a route to crack down on illegal breeders.

[sui generis]

26. bad law.

and I'm not a racist. Let's just go to war now, since you fired the first shot. I know EXACTLY what I'm talking about since nearly all of the animals I've taken care of have come from let's just be bold and call it Mexican households within the adjoining neighborhoods of my home.

Racist? Mexicans aren't a race, it's a culture, and the culture of poverty and rural bass-ackwardness is what I'm talking about. Not all Mexicans everywhere, (certainly the neighbor across the street is from Ecuador) are irresponsible pet owners. You generalized, not me. But IN DALLAS WHERE I LIVE AND THEREFORE HAVE SOME EXPERTISE, it is clearly part of the problem and accusing people of racism doesn't give you any credibility. Now that I've gone all Mexican on you, let me expand that beyond the latino community that I live with. It applies equally to idiots from some rural route in Waxahachie who have moved to "the big city" and brought their charming country ways with them. Breed the cats to eat the rats, don't worry the coyotes will keep the cat population down. Yes, there's one of those in the neighborhood too.

The law is poorly conceived. It was written by IDIOTS for IDIOTS. The illegal breeders are still illegally breeding. People who don't take their animals to the vet aren't touched by this law. The people who get fined are the people who actually do get to the vet. And yes, the veterinarians of Dallas were nearly unanimously behind this. Your opinion does not negate fact.

Can't make it any plainer than that. It ONLY impacts the people who choose to comply. It's a STUPID law, and whatever teensy part was done in a good cause, the road to hell has some new paving.

There WAS a way to make the law more effective, but city council just saw dollars and didn't do their job either. Finally the HSUS got their asses involved in local politics here. Do gooders doing dumb things in the name of good.

Now that you got me all cranky with that racist shit I'll go have some coffee and see if I calm down.

[TygrBright]

19. I love the Onion. n/t

[damntexdem]

20. Two hundred years from now, when all cats are stupid lame-os, they'll have the Onion to thank.

;-)

[tjwash]

24. Hee...The Onion knocks it out of the park again!

Fucking hilarious how many people here bit too...sometimes it's like tossing out a 4 pronged eagle claw with a little stink bait on it.

:rofl:

[LeftishBrit]

27. Mowgli looks pretty cute to me...

in any case for a female cat in heat, any tom will do!