Dear Scared White Men of America - DailyKos

[WillyT]

Dear Scared White Men of America
by Vita Brevis
Mon Jul 13, 2009 at 09:55:53 AM PDT

<snip>

Let's talk. If you're not someone like Sessions, Hatch, Graham etc. this is NOT directed to you.

I can imagine that it's really an adjustment for you to see so many changes taking place in our nation. We have our first non-white President and we are on the cusp of having only our third woman and first Hispanic Supreme Court Justice.

You don't understand how someone's experience other than being a white male, which in your view is the norm...the baseline...the yardstick by which all is measured, is relevant to anything. You see the world through false equivalencies and rear projected ideals that don't and have never existed.

I know you well. I knew you from the time I was a black girl in the 5th grade who won the school spelling bee, and the white boy I defeated hid out after school one day to challenge me to a fist fight. (I weighed about 48 lbs...he at least 20lbs more) His dad, a grown white man, asked him how he could have lost to a nigger. What he would have asked him had he lost to any of the other finalists, all of whom were white, several of whom were female, I'll never know.

I knew you when, in Jr. High, a white male teacher told me to my face I was taking the space of a boy, presumably a white one since I went to a predominantly white school, in an advanced math class that required teacher recommendation to get into. And then again in High School when I was a Teacher's Assistant who graded the quantitative portions of tests while the teacher ( a white male who wasn't scared) graded the qualitative portions and when another white male student's father found out, again brought race into the equation accusing me of being incapable of completing this task. Hint...even though I usually knew the answers, I had a legend to go by which my not scared white male teacher eloquently and emphatically made clear to my classmates father and I continued to grade tests.

I've known you in my professional life, when I've heard the whispers and the outright accusations of promotions, awards, recognition, being solely due to my gender or race.

When I became a manager, responsible for making decisions ranging from work assignments to laying people off, you should be glad I'm a black female. Because having been thought less than not on my skills and results, I can guarantee you that I worked twice as hard to ensure I was objective. I've worked, I believe harder, to ensure that evaluations, assignments, recognition, awards, performance ratings, and yes, difficult decisions that affect people's livelihoods, are done based on facts, merit, skills, and results. I worked that hard, used my experiences to keep me objective, used that dreaded empathy to ensure I was fair.

I would hope that a scared white male would do the same. My experience has told me that's not always the case.

I've known you in my personal life when you've shown up to do work at my home and are visibly taken aback that I live in my home. Or when I hear you comment behind my back about the car I drive, and how I must have an affirmative action job in order to afford it, and how it "must be nice", suggesting I haven't earned it.

I'm sorry you're scared. I'm sorry for you that you are that insecure. I'm also glad to know that you are a shrinking minority. That there are more white men like my High School teacher and some of my Professors in college. Strong, confident, white men who aren't afraid to share the playing field they've dominated throughout history. Men like we saw today in Senators Whitehouse, Schumer, Feingold. I'm glad I'm married to a white guy, who like them, isn't afraid.

<snip>

Link: http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2009/7/13/752972/-Dear-Scared-White-Men-of-America

Bra-fucking-vo!!!

:applause::thumbsup::applause:

[myrna minx]

1. Those that walk in the shoes of the privileged and the majority will never know,

what it's like to me a minority in this country. I had to edit---because what I originally wrote was untrue. People of the majority can have empathy, love and care for those who have to work twice as hard, but there are those like Sessions, who will never bother, and yet claim persecution.

[Kurska]

4. Empathy is the most important virtue, If you're not a empathetic person, you will never really

understand your fellow man.

I do mostly agree, being discriminated against or hated for your ideals or your inherent attributes is a feeling that isn't very easily replicable to someone who has never felt it first hand.

[WillyT]

5. Didn't Read The Piece... Did Ya ???

But then, maybe your scared to.

:shrug:

[Hutzpa]

14. Over reacted

:dunce:

[myrna minx]

17. No, I posted something stupid that I retracted and we BOTH edited

our posts. He's a stand up person.

[valerief]

6. I guess you neglected to read it. nt

[myrna minx]

7. I wrote in haste--see my edit.

I edited my reply because I knew how my thoughts could be seen as isolating.

[Kurska]

10. Thank you, perfect example of empathy and understanding, I'll edit my post aswell. n/t

[myrna minx]

12. Thank you too.

:hug: After I hammered out my reply, I realized how it read, and that wasn't my intent. Thanks, friend.

[Kurska]

13. No problem, we all sometimes say what we don't mean. I know I've done it before. n/t

[BlooInBloo]

2. That was an awesome diary.

[Tansy_Gold]

3. It's ironic, isn't it, that they really are SCARED.

I mean, if they were really superior, naturally superior without any propping up from a society that basically made all of them "affirmative action" babies, they wouldn't need to be afraid, would they?

But they are.

Too fucking bad.



Tansy Gold

[Karenina]

40. And they find themselves in a position to do great harm

to those "others" who threaten them.

[mzmolly]

8. Agreed,

brilliant!

[Cha]

9. We are so fortunate..

the pieces we get to read on DU..thanks WillyT.

People like sessions, graham, hatch, etc, etc, had the control of our country for 8 years and they blew it..never thinking this day would come.

[beam me up scottie]

11. Beautiful.

The thought of how terrified they are both amuses and scares me.

[Hutzpa]

15. wow! Beam me up Scotty

<singing> I'm in Heaven, Heaven, I'm in Heaven.... nananananaaaaa....
you can join in if you're not scared.

Peace!!

[femrap]

16. Let me K and R this

So fucking TRUE. I wish the white angry male would reflect on his privilege that he carries around 24/7.

[givemebackmycountry]

18. I think we've seen the best of what DU offers in this thread...

Someone posts a response, knowing what they want to say and doesn't quite get it across fully.
Someone else points out that "I see you working here, but"
And then we give the poster another opportunity and they hit it out of the park.
Which is what they wanted to do in the first place.

Every time I log on, I learn something new about the nature of this community.

[SeattleGirl]

19. Great read! Thanks, WillyT.

:applause: :applause:

[burning rain]

20. Damn, those are some tedious bastards who go for the "affirmative action" card...

automatically when a minority or woman gets a good spot.

[Duke Newcombe]

21. Well Said.

[Number23]

22. Bra-FUCKING-vo indeed!

Good grief! Reading this was like somebody pulled the thoughts out of my own head.

Kicked, STOMPED and rec'd! You tell 'em, sister!

[Lilyeye]

23. K&R

[Wednesdays]

24. K&R

:kick:

[redqueen]

25. Beautiful.

Thanks for posting that here. :thumbsup:

[Lorien]

26. Yep. I'm not black, but as a woman I've been told that I got my job

because of affirmative action (no, I got my job because I pretended to be a white male in the application after having been turned down twice and told "we have no housing for women in our internship program"). I've been told that I should accept 35% less per hour than a man for identical work because "women don't need jobs-they can just get married". I've overheard my white male peers whispering that I must have "slept with someone" to get my promotions. You are still damned no matter what if you are not a straight white male in this Nation, but hopefully times really will change.

[DainBramaged]

27. Pasty rich chicken hawk White men who only know minorities as servants

whose day in the spotlight is finally coming to an end.

Bravo.

[Iris]

28. bingo.

[Blue_Tires]

29. bloody brilliant

kick

[redqueen]

30. Yes it is.

:kick: again

[malaise]

31. Perfect

Rec

[Cybergata]

32. Thanks for Posting this

[noiretextatique]

33. the indignities she described still happen every single day

in america. i always seem to have problems in elevators. i worked in a building for three years...took the elevator every single day. one day, after working in that building for three years, a white man i had never seen before got on the elevator. he asked me if he could help me...questioning the legitimacy of my presence...so i told him he could do my job for me that would be a big help. otherwise: fuck off.
he turned beet red and shut his mouth, thank goodness. i do not take kindly to fools and racists.

or the well-meaning white guidance counselor who suggested i'd be better off at a state college than a private one. thanks to her, i was accepted to a great private college.

then there are the people who ask for copies of my degrees...but don't ask other people for copies of their degrees.

but as the author concludes...than god the assholes are in the minority.

[Ignis]

34. Great piece, thanks for reposting it here!

I like the change from the traditional "Angry White Men" to "Scared White Men," because it really shows the root of the problem: Fear over loss of status, power, and privilege.

:thumbsup:

[jhrobbins]

38. I'm a scared white man, but not for those reasons-I'm just scared these days

about a lot of things-I don't feel like elaborating on them though. Some in here know anyway.

[provis99]

41. I'm a scared white man, but I'm only scared of the scary white men

scary white guys like Cheney, Sessions, Inhofe and the rest scare the poop out of me.

[Ignis]

42. We all get scared. The trick is to not make a religion out of it.

Hang in there. :hi:

[SemperEadem]

46. well said!

[defendandprotect]

35. K&R

[Bluenorthwest]

36. Excellent, wonderful piece!

[Soylent Brice]

37. K&R

[Fire1]

39. In the words of Chris Rock, " A n___er got to FLY to get

where the white man steps." Kudos. Well done.

[chasitynola]

43. Very good read...

coming from a woman who made considerably less than her male counterparts. I was doing the bulk of the work, they got the money and perks...thank goodness the white, male owner of the business wasn't only not offended when I protested, but gave me a hefty raise when I asked, 'Do I have to grow a d*ck to make as much as they do'??????

Instant raise, happy woman...

[MellowDem]

44. Sessions, Hatch, Graham, et al

sounded pretty hypocritical today questioning Sotomayor's equality bonafides considering some of their past comments/actions.

Not only do they represent the dying breed of the sacred white male, but they represent the dying Republican Party, which was and is still largely built on that concept.

[JBoy]

45. K&R! Thanks for bringing that story here.

[BumRushDaShow]

47. K&R

:applause:

:kick:

[philly_bob]

48. My theory: scared white men count media references.

When I returned to my home town, I visited an old buddy who bemoaned the fact that he and I were not as successful as we thought we would be when we were young. "They gave it all to the blacks and women," he said.

I puzzled over this. Finally, I decided that this was a perception that would come if you form your opinions by watching television and counting the number of times people talk about blacks, women, and white men. Over the last three decades, no one every talks about white men. Lots of people talk about blacks and women. Therefore, it is technically true: if you count "media references," white men come in last.

I think that my buddy missed the fact that most of the people doing the talking, and the management, and the owners were white men. My buddy will go into privileged retirement (with a good union pension that most of us would envy) feeling deprived and diminished because he mistakes the shadow show of the media for social reality.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

49. Which is sort of like what some young louts in Portland said a few years back

Some young white male high school students complained that they had to put up with Black History Month, Chinese New Year, and Cinco de Mayo and learn about African-American, Asian, and Latino cultures.

"How come we never had to learn about white culture?" they demanded.

And I thought, "I bet you slept through your literature, music, and American history classes."

[AlbertCat]

50. Sessions, Hatch, Graham etc types will never read such a thing as this.

And if they did, they would simply dismiss it.

[fortyfeetunder]

51. AbsoFRIGGINluteinly RIGHT ON!

I couldn't have said it better!

[me b zola]

52. K&R