Anal Penetrating Chair Kills Teen - Or Watch Your Ass If your computer chair is made in China

[ThirdWorldJohn]

Anal Penetrating Chair Kills Teen

A fourteen-year old boy in China was killed when a chair he was sitting in exploded. Chunks of metal pierced the boy’s rectum resulting in extensive and fatal bleeding.

This is not the first time such a thing has happened, but it is the first fatality.

The boy was alone when the accident occurred, sitting on his computer chair. Bravely, he managed to make one last phone call to his father despite being in horrific pain. An ambulance was immediately summoned, but it took an hour to get him to the hospital and he died enroute.

The “killer chair” was a common gas-cylinder-based chair the height of which can be altered via a cylinder located at the base of the chair, which contains highly pressurized gas.

Allegedly, energy created by the seat cushion caused the explosion.

<snip>

http://www.weirdasianews.com/2009/07/14/anal-penetrating-chair-kills-teen/

[Coventina]

1. Yikes! What a horrible way to go! Poor kid & his family!!! n/t

[jgraz]

2. Free trade at its finest.

:banghead:

[BOG PERSON]

3. A Chinese kid was killed by a defective Chinese-made chair

What are you talking about?

[jgraz]

4. Oh, well if it was a Chinese kid...

:eyes:

[krispos42]

5. I doubt it's only sold on the Chinese domestic market

There's probably a million of them on sale right now outside of China.


I'll bet the mechanism is used is a wide variety of chairs of different designes... after all, why re-engineer if you don't have to?

[Deja Q]

7. Good question, what are you talking about?

Many of us who are against free trade are about doing things right. Some only care about how cheap it is, regardless of consequences. That is morally repugnant and very much anti-life... Why republicans support this misnomer of a concept, I have no idea - they gibber on and on about pro-life, pro-family, working hard and doing a good job... they're blind to reality... or the reality transcends their myopic vision of what they think is reality.

[Cessna Invesco Palin]

14. Yeah. Free trade within China.

:eyes:

[Deja Q]

6. Quality products made at low low cost help everyone, globally.

:sarcasm:

I recall reading a similar article several months ago... more than one chair, it seems...

A damn shame the ambulance couldn't get there in time. :(

[Lance_Boyle]

8. "Energy created by the seat cushion" triggered the explosion of the

gas cartridge at the base of the chair?

I find the author's notion of energy-creating seats to be very interesting and would like to subscribe to his/her newsletter.

[mwb970]

9. So he was basically sitting on a bomb.

Sounds like a really fundamental design defect.

[FSogol]

10. Am I the only one checking the underside of my cheap office chair right now? n/t

[Soylent Brice]

22. no. i have twice now.

[Blue Diadem]

11. 3 incidents in the last month alone?

:scared:

I'm gonna find some armour plating for my heiny. I've already been through one chinese chair snapping off and I've dealt with the damage from that for a very long time now.

[TreasonousBastard]

12. Wholly Chit! I had one of those chairs!

[Hepburn]

13. Good thing it is gone!

:scared: wow.....!!!!!!!

[Maru Kitteh]

15. How terribly sad. Poor kid. How incredibly painful.

[Vinca]

16. OMFG - and I'm betting nearly every similar chair in our stores comes from China.

[B3Nut]

17. They certainly did a few years ago

when I was a sales weasel at OfficeMax. I still have the two small office chairs I bought while working there (which was, for a retail place, not a bad place at all to work, but I digress.) They haven't exploded yet...(knocks on head)

Todd in Cheesecurdistan

[Redneck Socialist]

18. Gets up hurriedly and backs away from his chair...

eying it with suspicion.

That's pretty fucked up. :scared:

[Posteritatis]

19. I like my invulnerable monolithic tank of a chair. (nt)

[Ikonoklast]

24. Is purchased from Stovoslobirsk Armor, Tractor and Upholstery?

Is good chair, then. Can take direct hit from an 88mm shell and not have mark on it. Solid Soviet engineering, if chair was made before 1989. After that, even small land mine destroy chair.

Sigh. No one put any pride in work, anymore.

[Posteritatis]

28. Back in the day, they told kids to hide under their furniture in the event of nuclear attack

It's because they had furniture like this.

[CreekDog]

20. Anyone know where I can buy a kevlar insert?

:shrug:

[maseman]

21. I dated a girl once who had an anal penetrating chair

[xultar]

23. I don't know if I believe this story. I first saw it earlier this year in February.

[Junkdrawer]

25. Yep. No blood and there's just not enough energy in a chair cylinder....

to do the damage shown.

The only anal damage from this story is that someone's laughing their ass off...

[dysfunctional press]

26. from the subject line, i thought it might have something to do with the chair george clooney made...

in 'burn after reading'...

[PVnRT]

27. Yeah, that popped into my head, too (n/t)

[Cirque du So-What]

29. Mine too

Your name suggests expertise with compressed & exploding gases.