Davis: Your Guide to Mormon PDA (Public displays of affection) Penalties

[Kurska]

"By Ali Davis, Contributing writer
07.15.2009 11:00am EDT
Last week, a gay couple was handcuffed after exchanging a hug and a kiss on the cheek while walking across a plaza owned by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

Just in case you find yourself on Mormon property with a loved one, here’s a handy pocket guide.

Kiss on the cheek: Handcuffing

European double-cheek kiss: Leg irons

Air kiss: No penalty, but we’re watching you.

Close-mouthed kiss: Handcuffs, leg irons, Hannibal Lecter mask.

French kiss: Shackles, Lecter mask, Ball and chain. (Due to terrifying loophole possibilities, the rules note that ball and chain is NOT the kind one is married to.)

Necking: One week in jail per hickey.

“Roman hands” and/or “Russian fingers”: Six hours of answering that “So what is it you… do… anyway?” question.

Pepe LePew-style kisses up the arm: Regular handcuffing, but guard feels free to drone on and on about how the romance has gone out of his/her marriage."

More at source.

http://www.365gay.com/topics/culture_ideas/davis-your-guide-to-mormon-pda-penalties/

Just a handy guide for everyone who might live in salt lake city!

[imdjh]

1. What are Roman hands and Russian fingers?

[Kurska]

2. google to the rescue

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_a_case_of_roman_hands_and_russian_fingers

[msongs]

3. i live next to an lds church with a recreation area - constantly used for

car sex in the parking lot, sex on the grass, picnic tables, druggies all kinds of stuff. lds ought clean up its own backyard first.

Msongs