Goldman Sachs in Talks to Acquire Treasury Department

[Earth Bound Misfit]

In what some on Wall Street are calling the biggest blockbuster deal in the history of the financial sector, Goldman Sachs confirmed today that it was in talks to acquire the U.S. Department of the Treasury.

According to Goldman spokesperson Jonathan Hestron, the merger between Goldman and the Treasury Department is "a good fit" because "they're in the business of printing money and so are we."

The Goldman spokesman said that the merger would create efficiencies for both entities: "We already have so many employees and so much money flowing back and forth, this would just streamline things."

Mr. Hestron said the only challenge facing Goldman in completing the merger "is trying to figure out which parts of the Treasury Dept. we don't already own."

Goldman recently celebrated record earnings by roasting a suckling pig over a bonfire of hundred-dollar bills.

Elsewhere, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford denied having an "inappropriate relationship" with ABC's Jake Tapper.

Andy Borowitz is a comedian and the author of "Who Moved My Soap? The CEO's Guide to Surviving in Prison: The Bernie Madoff Edition."


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andy-borowitz/goldman-sachs-in-talks-to_b_235153.html

:rofl:

[Bolo Boffin]

1. This isn't true

For one thing, Goldman's got all the perks of having old employees all over the Treasury Department and none of the drawbacks in actually having to be responsible for the place. Why fix what ain't broke?

[Demeter]

2. Far More Likely GS Will Ask for a Bailout of Their Treasury

since they own it already.

[Vidar]

3. Too late. They already own it.