Action Plan; How to deal with the Door-to-Door H8ters. You can help!

The Doctor.

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Fri Jul-17-09 05:12 PM
Original message

Action Plan; How to deal with the Door-to-Door H8ters. You can help!

Edited on Fri Jul-17-09 05:18 PM by The Doctor.

Help prevent these people from spreading the hatred... Here's how;

I've done this with Deposed Ethiopian Despots who offer me a fortune online, Jehovah's Witnesses (really... they're nice people), and countless telemarketers. I figure that if I, someone who knows their game, can piss away these parasites' time and effort; I'll save some other poor sap from being subjected to the possibility of getting taken in.

Well... now we have, as I've recently learned, some new purveyors of pernicious proselytization have hit the streets.

So let's screw with them... shall we?

We know, thanks to the internets and some http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x6089574">pro-active posters, that Ron Prentice and "Protect Marriage" (my ass) will be going door-to-door in the Bay Area, Los Angeles, and the Central Valley.

That's a LOT of area.

Now, some lucky DUer's live in that area and may have the good fortune of some of these people knocking on your door.

I know how strong the urge may be to tell these people exactly how you feel, perhaps even with a little kinetic punctuation (Now, now... no violence please. :evilgrin:)

DON'T DO IT!!!

You will do nothing to them. They are zealots. They have no understanding that they are trying to hurt people without just cause. Being pissed off and sending them off on the gale of your ire will only speed their journey and fill their sails.

No, that would be bad. HERE'S what you do;

At the beginning of their pitch, be legitimately perplexed but concerned. As they tell you about how important it is to stop 'teh gays' from ruining all life as we know it, become a little more concerned and interested.

Tell them you have lots of friends who you'd like to tell about this issue, and then invite them in so they can 'give you more information'.

Do not outright agree with them. They will feel their work is done and try to move on to the next vict... er, uhh... neighbor. Spare your neighbors, keep them there with you. Let them think that they've struck gold, that you are going to spread the word to a dozen people or more because they are truly enlightening someone who was otherwise naïve to the 'danger'. They'll bite, they'll stay, and they'll answer any (innocuous) questions you come up with. Keep the discussion going for as long as you can. Once you get to a point that you are satisfied you've wasted enough of their time, start asking the questions that prove what hateful bastards they are;

"Ok, so now I just need to know, because it will really help me convince my brother-in-law too; just how is this going to destroy marriage?"

"Oh, ok... so you're saying your marriage would fail if gays became married, right?"

If you'd like more suggestions, there are a brazillion DUer's who can give Ideas.

By the time they've figured out they've been had, you will have spared a number of good people, and possibly gullible ones too, the affliction of these arrogant ambulatory advocates of oppression. (A schwa is a schwa! :silly:)

Please, K+R this, call friends and family in the Bay Area/Los Angeles/Central Valley and tell them what to do, get some fresh coffee and biscuits, and get ready to waste some H8ters' time.

I promise, although it may not be as cathartic as chasing them off with epithets or Monopoly™ pieces from a Wrist Rocket™, it will be much more satisfying knowing that you’ve helped skewer their efforts on the pike of your razor-sharp cunning.

Oh, and sorry if I offended any Jehovah's Witnesses on DU... you're all really very nice people... really. Stop by anytime. :evilgrin:

PS: Oh, and I reserve the right to x-post or re-post for Sunday's DU traffic change. Thanks!