Wipe Monday's butt and send it out to play . . . then please come CAPTION!!!!

[skip fox]

"My answer, Julie? Drop the dime on 'em. Send 'em all cemetery-packing. Mass graves for everyone, even the kids. Zoot their suits and zap their brainpans. A room full of cold cadavers on a cement floor. Body parts galore. Blueflies and maggots. Toe tags and zipper bags. You bet!! . . . Uh, I'm sorry, Kathy, I forgot. What was the question again?"

(Note this madman well. Col. Ralph Peters, a Fox News consultant.)

[Buzz Clik]

1. Let's use his own words:

"Now look, Julie, I want to be clear. If, when the facts are in, we find out that through some convoluted chain of events, he really was captured by the Taliban, I'm with him. But, if he walked away from his post and his buddies at wartime... I don't care how hard it sounds, as far as I'm concerned, the Taliban can save us a lot of legal hassles and legal bills."

[skip fox]

2. Who can hope to CAPTION so well as the world. Indeed.

Who is that other twisted ex-military consultant. The horse one with a crew cut who was screaming about thugs with waterboats mounted with machine-guns going into New Orleans after Katrina.

Between these two . . . Hell, the sense of captioning as we know it might disappear from the planet altogether.

[skip fox]

3. "Listen, Julie, I was raised a Baptist. I say, 'Kill 'em all and let God sort them out.'

After all, I'm a religious man."