Home funerals: when old is new

[lindisfarne]

When Nathaniel Roe, 92, died at his 18th-century farmhouse here the morning of June 6, his family did not call a funeral home to handle the arrangements.

Instead, Roe's children, like a growing number of people nationwide, decided to care for their father in death as they had in the last months of his life. They washed Roe's body, dressed him in his favorite Harrods tweed jacket and red Brooks Brothers tie and laid him on a bed so family members could privately say their last goodbyes.

The next day, Roe was placed in a pine coffin made by his son, along with a tuft of wool from the sheep he once kept. He was buried on his farm in a grove off a walking path he traversed each day.

"It just seemed like the natural, loving way to do things," said Jennifer Roe-Ward, Roe's granddaughter. "It let him have his dignity."

Advocates say the number of home funerals, where everything from caring for the dead to the visiting hours to the building of the coffin is done at home, has soared in the last five years, putting the funerals "where home births were 30 years ago," according to Chuck Lakin, a home funeral proponent and coffin builder in Waterville, Maine.
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http://www.startribune.com/nation/51267022.html?elr=KArksUUUycaEacyU

[Mythsaje]

1. Can't say I'm surprised, all things considered

but don't they have to worry about "improperly disposing of a corpse?" or some such? I know in some places you're not even allowed to bury a family pet on your own land. Pretty sure Grandpa would be a no-no.

[Heidi]

2. Here's some info:

State Laws Related to Home Funerals

[Mythsaje]

3. Thanks...

Sounds like this site would be a jumping off point if I wanted to know more...

Eventually I'll have to know more, but not right now.

[Heidi]

4. I hope you don't have to know more for a long while.

It's a concept that I also find intriguing, but I'm relatively certain the law doesn't permit home burial where I live. The cats would probably figure out a way to dig me up, anyway. :(

[Mythsaje]

5. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I can't bury a person in my yard either...

And I too hope it's a long time before I have to worry about it.

[cali]

6. I buried my dog last year in a mixed species graveyard on my friend's land

her husband is buried there, a grandchild who died in infancy is buried there and so are pets. It's a lovely little place, big trees, wildflowers and the sound of the river.

[Heidi]

7. My intention for myself is to be cremated.

But if that weren't possible, I would be prefer to be interred as your friend's husband is. I dig the idea of my body feeding the earth. Mornin', cali! :hi:

[Ex Lurker]

8. I intend to have my body donated to my alma mater's medical school

and they can do whatever they want to with it after they're finished.

[H2O Man]

9. Interesting.

There is a "pioneer cemetery" on a farm next to our property. It's a beautiful, isolated spot of land, with a stream and an old, long-abandoned railroad bed nearby. We live just werst of the old Fort Stanwyx Treaty Line, on the first section that the state "bought" from the Oneidas, after the Revolutionary War; hence, the first recorded people buried there were born previous to the war, including some who participated in it.

Along the banks of the stream, there is an older, unmarked burial. Previous to the war, some white folks did "cross the line," and there is a record of one elderly trader being buried close to the cemetery. And, even older than that, when the foundation for the nearest building was dug in the late 1700s, they uncovered several Indian graves.

The cemetery stopped being used just after the Civil War. When the railroad was constructed, a group of Irish immigrants employed on the job died from one of the diseases that feed on poor people living in terrible conditions. The local WASPs refused to allow them a proper burial in the cemetery; they were placed in an unmarked mass grave on one side of the knoll.

I'd like my earthly remains scattered there.

[Historic NY]

10. I've been to home wakes, in fact when I was a kid we had one at home...

the hearse did the transport to the cemetery. It just wouldn't have been dignified to have the old 55 Ford pickup with the casket in the back.

[ejpoeta]

11. i bet if someone tried that here, they'd end up in jail. i bet!!

They say the 'ashes to ashes, dust to dust' at funerals.... but how can anyone go to ashes or dust when they put you in a coffin in a lined and sealed box in the ground? people should have the option to be buried in a pine box and return to the earth and be part of the cycle. They've got it so that you HAVE to go through a mortuary.

[MichellesBFF]

12. Like in Healthcare they do this differently in Europe

I was visiting my grandparents in France, maybe 25 years ago, when an elderly friend died. They had the visitation at home, which at the time creeped me out a bit. Now that I think about it, it was a lovely thing to do. I can't help but contrast the sterility of my GMIL's recent funeral to this one.

Then again I want a sky burial, and I know that's not legal!

[Delphinus]

13. I read an article about

the differences in burials these days not too long ago ... wish I could remember what magazine it was.