Healthcare: They don't want us (all) to live but they won't let (any of) us die.

[kohodog]

After thinking about my fathers death I came to a conclusion some may agree with and some may not. My father died at the age of 83. He was a WWII vet, having served as a forward observer in the Philippines. He was a guy who went ahead of his unit to call in locations to bomb or hit with cannon fire. The amazing thing is that he had polio as a child and was an early subject in therapy in water. After the war he was able to play tennis, ski and led a normal physical life. But in his late 70's some weird things started to happen, and in his 80's he started having trouble with certain motor abilities until eventually he started to aspirate his food. In the hospital he was kept alive for a few months, shuttled between hospital care, nursing homes and the ICU. Before he died he was subjected to a tracheotomy and other extreme interventions even though he had a living will. Much of our healthcare dollars are spent in the last few days/months/years of our lives. I am not hearing much discussion in the current healthcare debate about how to make our last days meaningful and compassionate. If we could begin to have an honest discussion about how to allow people to die with peace and compassion I think we could begin to realize that healthcare should not be about keeping us alive at all costs until we die after going through being stripped of our humanity through excessive intervention. I for one, would rather be allowed to let go and be helped to accept my mortality rather than being stuck with needles and tubes and die not having any say in the matter. I think my father would have appreciated a more gentle way to go, even if a few weeks earlier. I knew he was unhappy his last few weeks in ICU.

I am just thinking that this is a discussion that we as a society need to have. Death may be the end of life, but it is also a part of it that our culture refuses to accept. And by really considering these issues I think we will be able as a society to provide better care for all and a better conclusion for the many occasions when intervention will only prolong suffering. The paradigm needs to change and we need to communicate with our loved ones what extremes we want or don't want to be kept "alive" when we cannot communicate our choice.

[glowing]

1. Its an issue that my mom and I were just discussing.. however, while

trying to pass healthcare, its something we cannot discuss.. you know like rational adults.. because already the GOPers are screaming about Obama killing their grandmothers with this bill with denying care.

[leftyclimber]

2. K&R. And I agree with you entirely.

I was just a part of my FIL's recent death from pancreatic cancer; he decided it was his time, and died a week later. The whole family took part. We were there. It was part of the circle. We all die, and we took part in this death. It was as much a part of our lives as it was his.

And what's strange is that I feel WEIRD saying that, even though it's a natural thing. Something we Americans need to accept is that We. All. Die. All of us. And making sure that it is something done with dignity, and not something desperate that happens after the technicians can't find anything else to tweak. Because we all die, whether we want to admit it or not. And we need to be comfortable talking about it.

[kohodog]

3. If as a culture...

we could accept death there would be more care for those whose bodies (or minds) can recover and go back to a decent quality of life. I certainly do not believe that care should be stopped for someone who wants to keep going. I do, however , think that many of us have never expressed our wishes, in part because we are taught that we are almost immortal and deserve to be kept alive at any cost regardless of our quality of life. Many of us may be kept alive longer than we wish, perhaps in physical or mental agony because as a culture we are not able to really consider the subject and express our true feelings. We don't even know how t think about this subject and too often leave it to our loved ones who will often hope for a miracle.