Palin Caught In A Naughty Monkey Trap by Shannyn Moore

[OmmmSweetOmmm]

(click on article to see supporting links)

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/shannyn-moore/palin-caught-in-a-naughty_b_244114.html


Palin Caught In A Naughty Monkey Trap

Everyone knows how to catch a monkey even if you've never had to. Basic concept. Put a banana in a jar and make sure the mouth of the jar monkey trap(2)is bigger than a monkey paw, yet smaller than the banana. When the monkey gets hold of that banana, he won't let go, even if it means his hand is stuck in the jar.

Sarah Palin finds herself in a similar predicament. Her Alaska Fund Trust is the perfect golden banana. It happens to be inside the legal jar created by Thomas Daniel's ethics investigation findings. You see, Mr. Daniel concluded Palin had used her official title of governor to raise money for a "slush fund" to pay her legal bills. That's a no-no, silly monkey!

With his findings, Mr. Daniel gave the Naughty Palin Monkey an out..."LET GO OF THE BANANA!" To avoid an ethics hearing, Palin could give back the money raised by the fund. Then, there would be no finding of guilt. Not only did she not let go of the money, her fund trust kept their campaign up and begging-thereby making the banana fatter and more golden.

This week, the report of a "jar" was leaked. Palin, her spokesmodels, and attorney have curious explanations:

"THERE IS NO JAR!"

"IT'S A LIBERAL JAR!"

"IT'S THE FAULT OF THE WOMAN WHO FILED A COMPLAINT TO FIND OUT IF A JAR EXISTED!"

"IF THERE WERE A JAR, IT WOULD BE OPEN AND TRANSPARENT!"

"THE EXISTENCE OF A JAR IS STILL UNDETERMINED AND NOT FINAL."

"SARAH PALIN HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE JAR, EVEN THOUGH IT'S HER DAMN BANANA!"

"SARAH PALIN WROTE THANK YOU NOTES TO "BANANA BUILDERS" WITHOUT KNOWING THEY EXISTED, EVEN THOUGHT THEY WERE MAKING HER BANANA MORE GOLDEN!"

I don't have a lot of experience with monkeys. If I were rooting for a trapped monkey, I'd tell them to let go of the banana...the "jar" is real.

Follow Shannyn Moore on Twitter: www.twitter.com/shannynmoore

[Xipe Totec]

1. Jaring wakeup call n/t

[Why Syzygy]

2. Silly monkey!

:rofl: On to the Greatest :kick:

[OmmmSweetOmmm]

3. lol! I read this as soon as I woke up and

:rofl:

[OmmmSweetOmmm]

4. Kick!

[PearliePoo2]

5. I'm just getting exposed to Shannyn Moore

The "Moore" I read and hear, the "Moore" I'm impressed.
Nice piece of writing here!
Kick and Rec.

[OmmmSweetOmmm]

6. Shannyn has the ear to the ground in Alaska for Progressives in regard

to Palin and this article is one of the most delightful and in your face ones that I've read of hers. Palin called Shannyn out and Shannyn is going very prettily to Palin's jugular. :)

[PearliePoo2]

7. I found her website and I'm reading everything she writes.... delightful is right.

McWolfKiller deserves all the scrutiny she gets and then some. Moore is to be commended for her courage.
Taking on the "mean vindictive high school bitch" has it's risks.
Count on Palin to play low-down dirty as she seeks revenge.
She's as evil and blood-thirsty as they come. In her eyes, the only "good" animal is a dead one.
She makes me sick. I truly loathe her.

:puke:

[Blue_In_AK]

10. Shannyn is a gem.

We love her here.

[tblue37]

8. My favorite:

"SARAH PALIN HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE JAR, EVEN THOUGH IT'S HER DAMN BANANA!"

[BlooInBloo]

9. Nice. I hadn't thought about the solitary version of "No Exit" (Sartre) before. Thanks!

[OmmmSweetOmmm]

11. Youe welcome!

[ClayZ]

12. K and R

[optimal-tomato]

13. I have serious doubts that this would work...

Monkeys are smarter than the typical Palin and would probably run off with the jar and sort out the details from the safety of a hiding place. Also, bananas are soft enough that you could squeeze and rip the banana out of the jar.

I prefer the raccoon trap, which works on the same principle, but with a shiny metal disc in a hollow log...

[yoyossarian]

14. I'm STUNNED!

Literally STUNNED that no one has pointed out the foolishness of the basic concept here.

"Everyone knows how to catch a monkey even if you've never had to."

A JAR would do nothing to keep the monkey from running off; monkey traps such as these are built out of
a large, heavy stack of mud with a small hole containing the banana, or peanut, or whatever... when the
monkey closes his hand on the bait, he is then trapped by the same principle, and is too dumb to let
go of the treat until someone comes up and grabs the creature--at which time the monkey reflexively
lets loose, you pop him in a sturdy sack and voila!

I know, I know it's a small point of little seeming significance; but I've personally been dogpiled
repeatedly for the smallest typos, and I'm really quite surprised that no one has pointed this out...

If you used a JAR, you'd have a monkey on the loose with a deadly weapon on its arm...

This threat would be even more foreboding if it were Palin with a large glass jar on her arm; this is,
after all, a woman who is known to have strangled a moose with her BARE HANDS when she was still in
high school--and is also rumored to have once shot a wolf just for SNORING!

Trapping monkeys OR republicans is SERIOUS BUSINESS, my friends; if we are to have any hope of actually
catching these critters, I'd recommend the thatched mud pile for monkeys, and for Repugs, a large, heavy
LOCK BOX (such as the one Al Gore had so much trouble with back in '99), hopefully bolted down, and made
of the finest case-hardened steel!

And if any major figure from the Republican Party IS found with their hand in such a trap, I'd certainly
hesitate to approach 'em without first hitting 'em with a few sedative darts as well!

Most monkeys are too shocked initially to put up much of a fight when you sack 'em; but
Republicans will TAKE YOUR FACE OFF if you try to take away their little treat.

Republicans BITE!... consider yourself warned!

D X Stone



ps: Conversely, sometimes they simply SUCK:



pss: I'm just kidding! Despite these minor cavils, I thoroughly enjoyed Ms. Moore's
essay; it was funny and made some excellent points... great post, Ommmm!


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