I have a neighbor who doesn't speak to me any longer.

[jamesatemple]

We've been friendly acquaintances since he moved his family into a house across the street from me several years ago. Just after the presidential election, he and I were talking about something or other during which he referred to that "nigger" in the White House. Though it pissed me off to no end, I merely responded with the fact that I had voted for Obama and would appreciate it if he would not insult me with his pronouncements on my choice.

He avoided me for several days during what, I guess, was a "cooling off" period for both of us. Then, while helping a elderly neighbor to clean up her backyard, I dumped and scattered leaves and branches along a natural creek that meanders beside his home. Mother Nature has been depositing leaves and branches along the same dry waterway for millions of years. Most folks in the neighborhood have done the same over the years, making a natural composting site.

My neighbor accused me of "junking" up the area, threatened to burn it (violating our small town ordinance), and began childishly to run the stop sign at our cross street just to annoy me. At first, his attitude puzzled me. Why should he react so strongly to such an insignificant act as he seemed to do? Then, it occurred to me: He wasn't and isn't reacting to my dumping leaves near a dry creek; he is reacting to my voting for Obama. And, for calling him out on his racism!

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that this transference of anger is exemplified in the actions of the Conservative fringe. Those folks who criticize every action of the Obama administration, make up or perpetuate lies about liberal/progressive actions and goals without any understanding of those actions or goals are transferring their racist bias. To be sure, some Conservatives have real and, perhaps, valid objections to Administration actions. But those "birther" and "deathers" are, in my opinion, projecting their racial bias and covering themselves with plausible deniability.

True, I've lost a friendly acquaintance. But, I don't want a racist for a friend.

[babylonsister]

1. Wow. I wonder when your neighbor will grow up?

He definitely sounds like one of the crazies aka racists.

[secondwind]

2. you got along fine before you met him......good riddance n/t

[trayfoot]

3. I had a very similar experience with a very good friend of many years -

and I will miss our friendship, but WILL NOT allow someone to behave this way in my presence!

[gateley]

10. Same thing with a friend of mine who believed AIDS was God's way of

punishing homosexuals! I thought -- who IS this person???. Haven't spoken to her since.

[sweetpotato]

22. AIDS as punishment means THEY won't get it

Because only those "nasty gay people" get that.

Superiority, hate for gay people, fear of terminal disease contribute to this mindset.

Just another case of blaming the victim. If its the victim's fault, as long as I don't do whatever it was the victim did to bring it on, then I'm safe!

Magical thinking.

[gateley]

38. I asked her, well what is God punishing those with cancer for? She didn't

know.

You're right - blaming the victim. We're good at that.

[MadMaddie]

51. You have just explained why STDs and Aids impacts many

other populations, pure ignorance.

[pollo poco]

108. yes

It's like the people who want to dismiss the opposition to BO as merely racist.
Perhaps some whites feel safer by focusing on that aspect of right wing hatred.

But the wingers are much more dangerous than that. They won't pass you over just because you are white. Did being white help Bill Clinton? No. The evangelical super pumped kinky sex obsession torture loving self righteous death machine ran right over him.

They hate all gays, women, and equality between us. They hate men who don't vote for their daddy party. They hate the US constitution and wish to destroy it.

And they are big babies, like the neighbor in this story. Their magical beliefs keep them from growing up. Angry, brutal, bible addled six year olds. Who think they are better than you.

[monmouth]

4. A moderate repug uncle of mine has had an African American friend

since childhood. Uncle is white. These two are as close as close can be, both successful in their fields, etc. During the campaign, and he knows I'm Dem and was working for Obama, he constantly would send me nasty and bigoted e-mails. I finally asked him one time if he were to send crap like this or words of this demeaning nature to his lifetime friend. "No, 'cause he doesn't deserve it." That was the response. He and I rarely e-mail any more and I'm quite happy about that.

[HopeHoops]

5. Pepper his lawn with signs from Democratic candidates next October.

I know, that's mean. Take a picture!

[undeterred]

6. I have a neighbor I don't speak to any longer.

He has a small business and I used to stop by every day. After a while I noticed that he listened to Rush Limbaugh all day. If the tv was in it was tuned to Fox News. I couldn't believe someone so nice could be such a wingnut.

The week before the 2004 election I stopped by to say hello. He got in my face (literally) and told me that he hoped I was voting for Bush because Bush was a "patriot" and John Kerry was not a "patriot". I told him John Kerry volunteered for two tours of duty while Bush did everything he did to get out of military service. He had no answer for this and then he started telling me how health care was a fake issue because everyone can just go to the ER if they are sick.

We had 80,000 people in the streets of Madison, WI to see a patriot later that week. I voted for John Kerry for president and I never stopped by the neighbor again.

[gateley]

7. I agree with your analysis --

My sense was that our country wasn't ready for a black president, but when Obama was elected so handily and enthusiastically, I was glad to be wrong wrong wrong. I felt guilty for unfairly judging my Fellow Americans.

Now all this anger I see, I'm convinced, too, it's because of racism. I'm sure many of these people aren't even aware that they're racist and have convinced themselves of the truth of the crap they're being told and believing.

[dragonlady]

118. We knew it wouldn't be easy

If we can ride this out, the nation will come through better than before.

[maxpower]

8. Good on you

N/T

[Smarmie Doofus]

9. Hard to say. Clinton ran into the same over-the-top hostility.

>>>>The more I thought about it, the more I realized that this transference of anger is exemplified in the actions of the Conservative fringe. Those folks who criticize every action of the Obama administration, make up or perpetuate lies about liberal/progressive actions and goals without any understanding of those actions or goals are transferring their racist bias. To be sure, some Conservatives have real and, perhaps, valid objections to Administration actions. But those "birther" and "deathers" are, in my opinion, projecting their racial bias and covering themselves with plausible deniability.>>>>

Despite the fact that he spoke in... and governed with... the same "can't we all just get along" tone that Obama's been hitting.

Fat lot of good it did him: Vince Foster, illegitimate kids, dead bodies in rolled-up carpets, murdered ex girlfriends, Lewinsky, Lewinsky, Lewinsky and on and on it goes.

I drove thru Va and NC one summer during the second term... with talk radio on: ***CRAZYLAND****.

I don't think what's happening now is all that much different.

Perhaps a more combative tone would be in order? "Finessing" doesn't seem to be effective with a certain sector of the populace.

[imdjh]

46. The hostility is foremost. "I hate Obama AND he's a niqqer." not because.

I think that's really it more than anything else. They would despise any Democrat. They particularly despise Obama, apparently as much as I expected them to go ballistic over Hillary being elected (and was looking forward to). On top of that, he's a snotty looking, intellectual looking, nonmilitary, laywer with no redeeming value and therefore an nword in their book, ie a less than useless black person, or malevolent or expensive black person.

Not that it really matters, but it's really not "just because of the color of his skin", it's a couple of things, but first and foremost it's that he's a Democrat.

[LuckyLib]

49. Don't forget smart. He's really, really smart. They know it. And it pisses them off.

[Enthusiast]

96. Yup, finessing them doesn't work at all. nt

[dolphindance]

139. Why do people try to gloss over the racial aspect? It is there. Stop trying to deny it.

I guarantee these folks would not be going haywire about President Clinton talking to their kids. They might make a few snide remarks, but you wouldn't have the hyperbolic madness we are seeing now.

He's black and it that bothers them. Stop trying to ignore that as an issue.

[Smarmie Doofus]

143. I didn't ignore it. I said it was "hard to say". Which it is.

One can "guarantee" whatever one wishes for as long as one wishes. It doesn't much matter, however. The simple fact is that Clinton did not face an analogous situation. Neither did Carter nor any DEM president, far as I know.

?>>>>>>>Stop trying to ignore that as an issue.>>>>>>


Stop jumping to conclusions.

[izquierdista]

11. Valid objections

How can they object to Administration actions? The troops are STILL in Iraq, the troops are STILL in Afghanistan, the banks are STILL being bailed out, jobs are STILL being outsourced, and NCLB is gearing up for yet another year of test, test, test. This change of administration has had the least course changes since Poppy Bush took over from Reagan. I'm afraid Olbermann is right and Obama is really a corporatist and the only change will be around the edges, nothing substantial.

[Enthusiast]

97. The reason for their outrage is

imagined or completely manufactured. Maybe most of it is just plain racial in nature.

[bvar22]

120. I pointed that out to my VERY RED neighbor yesterday.

He laughed and said I had a point.

[dolphindance]

140. Gee, that really helps. Called him the n-word too, did you? (n/t)

[The Wielding Truth]

12. You no doubt will meet again ,and if you feel like approaching him

you should remind him that Mr. Obama holds the office of POTUS and that office deserves our respect.

Most racists respond well to the fact that Mr.Obama is half white, and more of a centrist than a leftist. Then ask him of he minds the leader of the RNC being more than 50% black.

If he hasn't lost his cool, remind him that democracy is what we fight to keep, and Barack Obama is our democratically elected President.

If he feels their was a mistake he had better make sure that there are no more electronic voting machines.

Or you can just make nice and never talk politics again.He already knows how you feel, and he will probably not bring it up again. It is a tough subject and for those who need a more peaceful neighborhood, it serves you well to be sweet and not dump leaves and such on other people's property.


It may be petty to you, but so may using the n-word be a small infraction to this jerk.

Gees, I hate this type of personal conflict, yet it is a common problem with us and those who are being led around by their fear buttons.

Good luck and it's likely he will not be approachable politically, unless he gets hit with his own head on confrontation with reality.You will probably not be the one to do it.

[Altoid_Cyclist]

15. That's OK, I have a brother that's still pissed off at me.

The last time that we spoke was early this year on the day that our oldest brother died. He turned the conversation to politics and hung up on me when I mentioned that Palin was a puppet of the API. He said that is why he will never own a computer because everything on the internet is a pack of lies if it's a liberal site. This is the same person that spent 8 years constantly saying that * was the worst thing that ever happened to this country.

[The Wielding Truth]

17. Wow. I bet he watches " faux tv" though.

[Altoid_Cyclist]

20. I'm not sure, but he always listens to Lou Dobbs.

I don't know if that's as bad as my Primary Care Phys. who told me that he thinks G. Beck is the smartest person on TV. However, he has saved my life twice so I keep quiet.

[The Wielding Truth]

21. Isn't it amazing how smart people can be so misled?

Maybe they are just too focused to get the big picture? You think?

[Altoid_Cyclist]

25. I cling to the hope that all people will learn to accept each other just the way they are.

I'm barely maintaining my grip on that hope though. I think that too many people will fixate on why we're not all the same instead of looking for the similarities that all people share. Oh well, the human race had a good run.

[destes]

87. or maybe it proves you don't need..........

...to think to be a doctor.

Doctor, pastor, neighbor: if they're Cretins they're Cretins. A blight on a peaceful, strong and informed society.

[Bluerthanblue]

16. very good advice- it doesn't

lower the level into uglyness, which is where people who have nothing real to stand on have to go.

It is pro-active, not re-active.

:hi:

[The Wielding Truth]

19. Sometimes it works that way.

[havocmom]

13. 90% of the people I interact with behave same as your neighbor

Pissed off, petty and going around LOOKING for petty reasons to be pissed off at any who do not march in lock step to their racist hate.

[eleny]

14. Sounds like right wingers in general these days

A black guy got elected and everything he does has to be wrong and bad. x(

[Sherman A1]

75. Agreed

It is sometimes hard to tell if it is the racism or the political view that is on top at any given moment in the RW hate machine, but both are very much there. I am just guessing that it is mostly the politics.

[TlalocW]

18. My mom constantly sends me rightwing emails

That she gets from other family members because she knows I will gladly forcefully debunk them, while mocking people who actually believe in whatever lies the email contains.

The result: Mom doesn't get so many emails anymore, and some relative I haven't seen in years electronically denounced me and then blocked my address.

TlalocW

[TrogL]

23. I wouldn't necesssarily chalk it all up to racism

I would suspect he's also "Christian" and "conservative". They've had their way for quite awhile now and are horrified that them dang Liberals/Communists have taken over the reins.

There's a simple solution. Dare him to burn the leaves (then discretely photograph him doing it). Also get a video of him running stop signs and turn it into police.

If he excalates that, report that too.

Unless, of course, you police department or city governance is corrupt at which point you have a whole different set of problems.

[reflection]

24. You're not the only one.

I had a neighbor who moved in - my wife and I were hitting it off with them just fine... we had a fence with a gate that separated our yards, and one evening we opened it up and had a private two-yard party to celebrate new friendships and such.

It was going well, the kids were playing with each other and squealing happily. Then the discussion turned to politics. These people professed their undying affection for all things Hannity. I said "well, he's not my cup of tea," and tried to leave it at that. The husband got fairly aggressive with his pro-Hannity screed, and I jousted with him verbally for awhile, in what I felt what was a good-natured fashion. His wife finally excused herself to go inside, and never came back out. The husband told their daughter to "come inside and get ready for bed." (it was about 7:30p)

My wife and I said our goodbyes and finished out our evening as usual. The next morning the gate was locked, and neither one of the neighbors would ever say a word to me again, even when I directly addressed them. I'd wave, they'd turn around. It was very unpleasant. Finally they moved out. Another neighbor told me later that they weren't going to live next to "liberal degenerates". That was both disturbing and hilarious to me. I'm glad they're gone. I hope you find some peace with your problem also. He sounds like a real handful.

[jamesatemple]

28. Here's a question to ponder, reflection ~

When the * administration was in power over the last eight years, did we alienate folks by our lack of support for that group? I'm sure that I "ruffled lots of feathers" by trying to respond politely and reasonably to the pronouncements of the gang of Conservatives down at the guitar store in our small, East Texas town. Whenever one would criticize Kerry for a claimed use of botox while other of my friends snickered and grinned, I would ask how that usage, if true, affected his service record or the aspects of his platform. When one would refer to Iraqi citizens with pejorative terms like "camel jockeys" or "rag heads", I tried to point out that the first step in dehumanizing a perceived enemy is to call them insulting names. In response to the claim that "if we don't fight 'em there, we'll have to fight 'em here", I would ask how many Iraqis were involved in the attack on the twin towers.

Yet, none of my points did anything to change the minds or attitudes of my longtime friends. What it did do was to (for a while) isolate me from some of the conversations carried on in small groups. Fortunately, playing guitars and vocally murdering several good tunes held our small group together.

I've got to confess, even though it make me ashamed to do so, that sometimes I didn't want to be around my friends...because I was pissed off at what I considered to be their unabashed ignorance! Looking back, I'll bet $10.00 to a gingersnap that they felt the same about me.

Anyway, thanks for your contribution to the thread. I really appreciate it.

[reflection]

52. Fortunately, you were able to bond somewhat

through the butchering of music. :)

I didn't know these people long enough to form a bond of any sort, it was a one-and-done type of interaction. Once I realized the isolation was there to stay, we just walked wide circles around each other. I'm sure, as you say, we both felt the other was blind and ignorant. But all you can do is try - I was bothered for perhaps a week, and then I just left that burden behind.

I was glad when he moved out - I don't think neighbors should be isolated from each other, and his replacement has been a real joy. He's politically minded, but his compass is still swinging, so we have good chats...

[olegramps]

86. "Good fences make good neighbors."

Frost's "Mending Wall" seems like good advice. I have seen neighbors get in thick and end up enemies. My grandfather owned a restaurant and bar along with his small hotel. He had firm rule. He never discussed religion, politics or family with anyone outside his immediate family. I heard him remark to customers that attempted to engage him in conversation about politics and he would only respond that he didn't discuss politics, but what did so-and-so think about the town's football team's chances for a good season. He just simply changed the subject. Saves a hell of a lot of aggravation.

Far too my people can be very infuriating. Some times I wish we didn't own a TV or a radio. The loud mouth airheads seem to own the airwaves. It is like having someone invade your home and peace and you end up yelling at the TV. I find myself wanting to go up to the cabin more often and for longer stays.

[KyleA]

100. I work with some Hannity/Beck/Fox News types

Some of them are my friends, I just try to avoid politics but once in a while I can't help myself.

[PatSeg]

26. For every bigot who expresses their

racism openly like your neighbor, there are scores of others who are thinking the same thing. They express themselves outwardly as birthers, tea baggers, and deathers. When they yell Nazi, Marxist, Commie, they really mean "that #*@# in the White House". They're not terribly clever.

[jamesatemple]

30. I fully agree with your opinion.

And I also feel that no amount of water boarding those folks would get them to admit any bias or prejudice. In fact, as someone else pointed out earlier in the thread, there may be some that don't consciously recognize their own racism, though it is hard for me to understand how that could be.

Thanks for your response.

[PatSeg]

34. I think subconscious racism exists,

but it tends to be more subtle. Outrageous behavior is different and I'm sure these people express their feelings more clearly in the privacy of their own homes or after a few beers. Such people aren't known for their self-discipline.

[Ferret Annica]

27. The woman who gave birth to me ain't my Mom any longer

and this is because of her racism toward my wife and kid because she and he have an African American heritage.

She didn't just say she didn't want to see me any longer, she announced one day when I stopped by that she would call the police if I didn't leave when I asked her why the rude ordering me away.

She died refusing to even talk to me on her death bed when she had cancer, though I was willing to give her room for some rapprochement.

Her loss, as I don't recognized her as family any longer, and so I understand your annoyance, but you did the right thing.

[jamesatemple]

32. Thanks for that, Mike.

I'm sorry that your familial relationship worked out as it did. I hope you'll consider that you have several thousand DU'ers as an extended family now.

My oldest son won't speak to me because I'm a Secular Humanist. That hurts like hell! I've got two fine young grandsons that don't know me merely because I don't have the "accepted" religious philosophy. Still, I understand that I've got supportive folks here at the DU meeting place that make allowances for other ideas. And, that comforts me.

[Ferret Annica]

107. Thanks, and my sympathy to you for your family rifts

Someday those youngsters will be of age of majority, and I encourage you to invite them to meet you and to get to know you. you are losing out now, but don't be afraid to reach out.

Life is too ferociously short for that. Cheers.

[Control-Z]

65. i am so sorry to hear that

my father and i never had the opportunity to reconcile our differences. i like to believe that he would have mellowed with age but i know he would have just become more angry and hateful had he lived longer, and our relationship would have been worse. i don't have a lot of kind things to say about him, which i find terribly sad.

[Ferret Annica]

106. Ditto on sympathy for your parental problem

I am the oldest of six, and her problem was compounded with her having me when she was so young and feeling I "ruined" her aviation career, as in 1953 she had gotten recognition as Connecticut's youngest woman pilot ever. Her alcoholism didn't help either.

I would of preferred her having an abortion, seriously. I feel my soul would of entered this world in corporeal form, but I would rather be born in poverty with loving parents then to have known her.

My Dad was a WW II aviator in the Pacific theater, and he died in 1960. I have had to work to get past issues around the 'hostage crisis' of my youth.

I remember as a very young child loathing African Americans, fat people, Puerto Ricans, etc. Then I started reading Richard Wright, Ralph Ellison, James Baldwin and others. I did go to private schools as someone like that person of who I speak of oft times tries to achieve a vicarious success through the life of their offspring.

The battles we had over this were epic. And I married an African American woman and let me tell you, that gave me high empathy for the disease of racial bigotry, and blew her cork the rest of the way out.

I hope for the best for her departed soul, I am sorry she died so young at 67, but I will never forgive, nor forget. Not past a very well defined point in my mind based on many things.

Loving and caring for your blood relatives is very important; but if even they cross particular thresholds of behavior, one has a deeper commitment to all of humanity that transcend the ties that are family.

I recovered and then some from the disease of bigotry she infected my young mind with. But where the bigotry comes from is nowhere near as important as the personal responsibility to seek truths and correct one's life course. Her bigotry was on her after she became an enthusiastic thief of the human dignity and social standing of others.

She was very very smart and had talents, but the ill gotten gains of bigotry was to enticing to her to have empathy for others after reaching the age of informed consent.

In any event, thanks for the response, and have a great Labor Day weekend.

[KatyMan]

29. eh, I have 8 brothers and sisters

And don't speak to any of them, a couple of them I've only seen/spoken to them once in 10 years, and that was only because my mom died and we were mostly all at the funeral. Bigots and idiots aren't worth the time.

[spanone]

31. does your neighbor have a cross burning in his front yard?

[jamesatemple]

36. Heh, heh! I suspect he'd like to burn one in mine!

In fact, I'd venture to say that his political philosophy is reflected by most of the good folks that live in this small Texas town. Now there's a guesstimation on my part that I hope is dead wrong.

[hfojvt]

33. it's about enemies and friend though, we react differently

Suppose the same thing had happened in 2005 and you had referred to the 'chimp' in the White House. And your neighbor had responded by saying that he had voted for Bush and please don't insult him. There was plenty of bashing of Bush voters here in 2005, how they were inbred, mouth-breathing knuckle dragging sheeple. Unfortunately, since Kerry was white, we couldn't call them racists. Declaring himself a Republican might have turned him from a casual friend into an enemy. Once people have been declared enemy combatants, it is human nature to find EVERYTHING they do annoying.

As one quote said - a friend can dump a plate of spaghetti in our lap and we will laugh it off, but the way an enemy holds his fork infuriates us.

[JerseygirlCT]

35. I think you're absolutely right

It's hard to realize how alive and well this sort of hatred is today, but there's far too much evidence.

[Quantess]

37. About how old is he?

For some reason, I'm picturing a really elderly coot who still thinks it's acceptable to use that particular racial slur. But, you say he moved there with his family....

[jamesatemple]

39. That elderly coot is me!

I'd reckon him to be in his mid-40's to early 50's. Just a boy!

That particularly obnoxious racial epithet is far too common in conversation here in Texas. Anytime the State government decrees that the Bible must be taught in the public schools and proposes secession as a remedy for improving health-care, you can immediately make a pretty good guess as to how backward the majority of the citizens of the state are. (I hope that's not true, but I'm afraid it is.)

[Quantess]

41. Sorry for that assumption.

Anyway, I wouldn't want a neighbor like that. He sounds like trouble.

[glinda]

40. We have one of those. He no longer talks to us since Obama won thank goodness!

[lumberjack_jeff]

42. Put Obama stickers on your lawn implements.

Then he won't ask to borrow them.

[Quantess]

43. That's a great idea!

[jamesatemple]

44. Jeff ~ you're a genius!

Thanks for that sound recommendation.

[glowing]

45. I get the wink wink nod nod too for being white all the time. When I explain that

I voted for Obama, they get pissed off at me.. Why? because I they just revealed that they are an asshole racist. My boss is Indian. When I explained that I get it a lot from people who check into the hotel where we work.. because I'm white, they assume I have similar prejudices. She couldn't believe that people who are strangers do that? Or that they are going nuts over our President addressing school children to do well in school and stay in school. AND it is nuts.

[FarLeftFist]

47. A QUICK QUOTE ON THE SUBJECT OF RACE...

What differentiates Obama from any of the other big spenders who have previously occupied the White House is principally one thing--his color. And it is his color that makes the bandying about of the "socialist" label especially effective and dangerous as a linguistic trope. Indeed, I would suggest that at the present moment, socialism is little more than racist code for the longstanding white fear that black folks will steal from them, and covet everything they have." ~ Tim Wise

[MissDeeds]

48. I feel for you and what you're going through

I have an aunt (actually, my only remaining aunt) who meant the world to me. She once was a die hard Democrat. Somehow, in later life, she has become a rabid neo-con who listens to Rush daily and would not miss a moment of Faux News. We no longer speak. I can get past it for most of the year, but the holiday season and birthdays with no contact are excruciating. It is terribly painful to think her hatred is greater than the bond we once shared.

[DailyGrind51]

50. I have relatives who are like that also.

The last election divided members of my family like nothing else before.

[bobbolink]

53. Thank you for speaking up. You did it in a mature and responsible way.

It's too bad he couldn't respond in kind.

Many years ago, I had a neighbor who insisted on using the "N" word. I said to her, "I can't change your thoughts, but I need to ask you not to use that word in my presence." She never did again!

You're so right about the projection. Once you see it, it becomes rather obvious.

[Stinky The Clown]

54. Dorothy .. this ain't Kansas, but that **is** racism.

[pitchforksandtorches]

55. The country will not be safe until every Republican is sedated and

The country will not be safe until every Republican is sedated and under the care of a mental health professional.

[Anakin Skywalker]

60. Make Them Pay for It

OUT OF THEIR OWN POCKETS, too! Just to rub it in. Heh heh heh. :evilgrin:

[dhpgetsit]

56. Absolutely!

All racists really know is that they are uncomfortable with him. Their feelings come from the subconcience. The only time he has been honest with you was during the first conversation when you called him out on his racism. Now he is doing everything he can to manufacture rational reasons to hate you. Just the way they are manufacturing reasons to hate Obama.

[kleec]

57. Oh the irony

Some neighbors can be sort of fun to watch. We've had this neighbor for many years who is definitely a card carrying red neck. I don't consider that to be a problem as we have had a few issues arise in the past that were settled very calmly and fairly. What I find ironic is a situation that came up when he and my husband were chatting during the campaign and this neighbor stated that he wasn't voting for no gd *&%*&%*#. That was his privilege of course. Well, after the election of Obama he was quite upset, and one of his daughters came back home to live with her parents yet another time after having issues with boyfriend. When we were chatting with this daughter she said she was now engaged and her fiance came home with her. That gentleman happened to be a very nice black guy :P. I just chuckled. I guess her Dad was not a happy camper and decided to stay somewhere else while they were there, how very sad for her, and what a loss for her Dad. I do hope that it turns around for all of them, they've moved out on their own and he's back home again. What a waste all of that unfounded hate is. I'm hoping that it works out ok, but I could not help but enjoy the irony.

[mitchtv]

62. cute story, Karma's a bitch

Kind of reminds me of homophobes like phylis Schafley and Senator Knight with the Gay children

[Manifestor_of_Light]

58. I have one I stopped speaking to.

I moved to a little town. I have about fifty feet of yard between my property line and hers. Iknew that she and her husband were redneck Jesus freaks. I just didn't realize how bad things were.

I was showing her around my house. I have an ancestor altar on top of an old mahogany buffet cabinet.

I have pictures of people who have inspired me, and a Kwan Yin statue and a Medicine Buddha statue.

I asked her what she thought of them and she raised her forearms and crossed them, and said, "OOH! Buddhism that's like VOODOO!!". I gave her a spiel about who the Buddha was. I told her it was an ancient religion, NOT voodoo. I wasted my breath.

Before that, I opened my piano and started playing a Chopin waltz I've known since I was ten or twelve years old.

After a few lines I stopped and she said, "Show-off". :grr:

We stopped talking to her and she wanted to know why. She asked the guy cutting trees down on our lot to send us over. She started apologizing and said, "If I said anything wrong, I'm sorry".

We continued to deny that she said anything we didn't like. She has a six foot tall cross in her front yard and puts white lights on it at xmas like it's a xmas tree. YUCK.

The surveyor will be out next week to survey the property so we can put up that six foot tall fence in the right place.

[mudplanet]

77. It's difficult to change. This lady doesn't sound like a bigot but

more of a typical ignorant American.

The majority of Americans have no idea what Buddhism, Hinduism, Judaism, or Islam are. It's not their fault. They didn't take comparative religion in college. Their religions often deliberately discourage, if not prohibit, any study or discussion of other religions. They aren't encouraged by their culture to travel or to learn other languages. In effect, chauvinism is taught, encouraged. The educational system, from elementary to university (often) has been deliberately shaped to discourage any serious, thoughtful study of other cultures and beliefs. American education is a continuous immersion into a mindset that "America is number one, American culture (political, economic, language, dress) is a norm and anything else is "less" and somehow deviant.

And, generally speaking, what they think of when they think of "America" and "American" is white people that are protestant. Face it, American education still teaches kids that it was the pilgrims that are our original settlers, or original founding fathers (even though there were lots of Europeans here already when the Puritans arrived, so many so that the Puritans never represented more than a small minority of the European American population). They don't point out that these Puritans were a radical and intolerant religious cult that emigrated to America so that they could set up their own little religious fiefdom, one where religious dissent was prohibited. Puritan America was a theocracy - a brutal and repressive one - not a citadel of freedom.

Myths can be very powerful. This one was created by white protestants in the early years of the creation of public education, deliberately to shape American culture in a way the would insure that what they viewed as "their way of thinking" would become the norm. And it worked beautifully. Until now.

So we end up with a cultural attitude that France, Sweden, and Denmark are "socialist hellholes (actual quotes from the current debate from people that have never been to Europe)." That Buddhists worship "statues," that anything America tries to do is "good" and meant to help other people.

You can show these people the research: that most Western European countries have a higher standard of living than America, that many European countries have higher per capita income, longer life spans, lower infant mortality rates. And they'll look at the research, the facts, and they'll just deny it. There it is on paper (the internet, whatever), mountains of evidence presented by a variety of different, independent sources, with no evidence to the contrary, and they'll say, "It's not true." I've literally tried this on a number of occasions. They won't say, "Well, America is still the greatest country in the world (I could buy into this - greatness is a matter of opinion)." They'll say, "We've got the best health care system in the world." or "American's have the highest life expectancies," or, "America is the freest country in the world (whatever the hell that means)."

"America" the mindset is a "fixed delusion." They're not going to let the facts change what they know.

Heck, I'm 55, I have five years of post graduate education, and it's only in the last 20 years that I've begun to understand something of Islam, of the intricacies of Jewish culture (Askanazi vs Sephardic), and the role of America in international affairs. For the most part, I don't feel it's entirely my fault that I lived so long as an ignoramus - given the culture I live in, it's surprising I ever learned anything about these issues.

So don't be so hard on this little old lady. She's trying to reach out. She's just a victim of her culture.

[Enthusiast]

99. Nice post, mudplanet!

Unlike so many of your fellow citizens you seek to increase your knowledge of different religions, history and cultures. Many American citizens already know everything so there is very little purpose in expanding their knowledge base.

[Anakin Skywalker]

59. You Don't Need Neighbors Like That!

Childish people aren't worth your time or energy.

[sarah FAILIN]

61. I lost my brother and also someone I thought was my best friend over this election.

I kept telling my brother I wouldn't talk politics with him but he was bent on forcing me to turn rep so I finally had to cut him out of my life and I haven't talked to him in a year. It's not really a big loss though because he wasn't the brother I grew up with anymore and didn't make any effort to keep up a relationship even before that.
The "friend" I lost made me wonder about myself though. I had bent whenever this person said something I thought was wrong just to keep the peace but I reached the last straw when she started talking about how America would never elect a black POTUS and that black people couldn't afford college. After the explosion was over, I was just as angry with myself for letting her go on as long as she did. I won't compromise my beliefs to keep the peace again after feeling this new freedom, friends and family are a little over-rated anyway.

[olegramps]

90. God gives you your relatives, but you can chose your friends.

[femrap]

63. All the people who are

against Obama have one thing in common....racism. That's a fact.

ETA: And now maybe people can realize that those against HRC were sexists.

Can't wait to hear the shit from this....I'm ready...got The Ignore Button ready and fired up!

[bluesbassman]

64. Maybe a large percentage, but not all.

Clinton faced the same vitriol and open hatred from the very start of his term in office. Racism certainly brings an added dimension, but I don't believe it would have mattered what race a new Democratic President belonged to. The level of fear and hatred that has been whipped up by the likes of Hannity, Beck, Limbaugh, et al would be focused just the same.

Edit for typo

[Sugarcoated]

68. Off topic, but it's "Democratic" President, not "Democrat" President

I don't know if you realize it, but that's the RW derogatory version.

[bluesbassman]

69. Thanks, fixed it.

My typing skills leave a lot to be desired.:hi:

[Sugarcoated]

74. I know how annoying grammer and spelling police can be, so thanks for not getting

bugged with me. :hi:

[TicketyBoo]

85. You mean grammar?

;-)

Sorry. Could not resist.

[OneTwentyoNine]

91. Yeah....I mostly agree

Hell living in Kansas it's wall to wall Republicans. They were bashing Clinton on day one but when the economy turned into the strongest we've seen and a balanced budget the bashing slowed down. Kind of hard to bash a President when you have a damn good paying job,new cars,new home etc.

Of course what Obama walked into on Jan 21st was an economy that was really almost of Great Depression standards and two Wars. I knew the bashing would start again but this level is just unbelievable and him being black just adds another layer to it.

What I'm seeing more and more of is a level of violence in Republicans that I don't remember back in the Clinton days.

[femrap]

135. True....

the public air waves used to rile people into violence should be a crime. But I'll bet most of the listeners of these shows are racists...to varying degrees.

People weren't showing up with guns at Clinton's events. This is a much deeper hatred if you ask me. It brings to mind a 'civil war' type of hate.

Shit, NASCAR is now Mainstream....you'd think they'd be happy now. Murdoch is behind ALL of this....he is after all, FOX. He's an evil, evil man who bought his American citizenship.

[Enthusiast]

101. Okay. Then why

did these same people hate Bill Clinton?

[femrap]

134. Wasn't he referred to as

'the first Black president?'

Lots of reasons to hate: Democrat, womanizer, jealous that their cocks weren't in play, great actor, etc.

Toward the end of his presidency, lots of Dems were getting sick of him. I still say he is the best republican prez we have ever had.

[Enthusiast]

145. Yup, The Telecommunications Act,

Nafta and the repeal of Glass Steagall. I hope we don't see a string of such damaging regulation under the Obama Administration.

[femrap]

146. I do, too.

I think too many people are paying attention this time. At least I hope so...we're all unemployed and so we can keep up with C-Span...lol.

I remember going nuts over Glass Steagall. And I didn't much care for the Welfare Reform....how about Pentagon Reform...now we're talking some big bucks!

[Enthusiast]

148. Yes, what

possible justification is there for outspending the entire rest of the world on our military?

[Iwillnevergiveup]

66. Racism is so outdated among thinking people

and those who can't think will be left behind.

K&R

[tosh]

133. +1. That is the attitude that I prefer to wear.

[Rocky Sullivan]

67. Eff that guy. Who needs him?

Sounds like no loss. Sucks you can't chuck branches and dirt into his stream anymore, though.

[jamesatemple]

102. Hello, Rocky. I feel that I should make a further explanation ~

the dry creek bed that runs through our housing addition does not belong to my neighbor. It is part of what I call "Public Domain" in the sense that no individual has title to the property. The drainage area is heavily wooded and carries excess water away from the neighborhood during and after heavy rains. I would not consider dumping anything on a neighbor's property. This guy complained to me because I dumped leaves and branches on property that wasn't his. Had the stuff I scattered there not been leaves, grass, and small tree branches, I feel that he would have had a legitimate complaint because dumping trash there does affect the looks of the entire neighborhood. In fact, I've helped him pick up and remove "trash" when someone would illegally dump it in that same area. But, folks from all over the neighborhood have used these dry creek beds (there are others, as well, in this hilly country) as proper areas to deposit grass, leaves and twigs for decades.

[Matariki]

70. You don't need anything from your racist neighbor

He should be worrying about why YOU aren't talking to him. Not the other way around.

[man4allcats]

71. Your neighbor is just

another Republican asshole. }(

[zoff]

72. Runs the stop sign?

I'm not a speeder but I received this video via Facebook. You should send him this incredibly powerful foreign ad on speeding called "please drive safe." You could search for it on facebook or youtube; background music is by Evanescence. I could not wait for the ad to finish.

It shows several horrific and incredibly sad accidents portraying, not statistics, but PEOPLE's lives getting snuffed out because of utter irresponsibility and carelessness. One of them is of a guy rear-ending a lady at a stop sign. He goes to check his car, then the driver in front of him. The lady driver is sobbing, eyes transfixed forward. He walks over to the front, and there under her front bumper, was a bloodied woman, and a little boy standing next to her calling out Mommy, Mommy.

Being a nuisance, asshole and racist is one thing. Becoming a killer is another. Or call the cops and have them catch him in the act. Before someone gets hurt.

[radhika]

73. Similar things happened o me re Israel/Palestine issues n//t

[Iggo]

76. I got one of those neighbors next door.

It's a Prop H8 thing.

I'm right and he's an idiot.

[Rowillin]

78. racists for friends

I agree that this is a really tough problem.  My sister
listens to Limbaugh all the time and calls me a
"bleeding-heart liberal."  The problem is that we
can never discuss anything calmly because she almost
immediately starts foaming at the mouth.  I grew up Republican
but after learning something about life became a Democrat. 
During the Bush years I was almost afraid to say so!  I am
happy that we have all come out of the closet now but,
unfortunately, my sister and I will probably never be close
again.

[Raine]

79. Welcome to DU

I'm a former Republican too though that was a long time ago. :hi:

[jamesatemple]

103. Welcome to DU, Rowillin!

I appreciate your contribution to the thread and hope you will enjoy your tenure here, no matter how long.

[RedCloud]

80. Can a racist really be your friend?

They are sick people. We have some racist neighbors and since our Obama sign was up last year, they do not communicate with us. They are crazy and when my daughter blossomed, their racist mother went out and bought herself some "liberal" size boobies to compete. We have her on tape saying to another how she hated our daughter's upper region. We tape because they and others were trying to bother us and we finally caught them! Other neighbors have enjoyed laughing at the tape with us.

[1Hippiechick]

81. Running neighborhood stop sign? Rabid Repukes are dangerous - his ignorant stupidity could kill

innocent children, bystanders, pets, etc. Personally, I would report him to the police and let them ticket him.

[Tim01]

82. I have racist friends, kind of a by product of where I live.

And for them being such good people, their racism is kind of strange. And at times confusing.
They would go out of their way to help people, they are more generous than most, even for people they are racist toward.
But they would help white people first, and more.

In all honesty I would move out of this area if I was black. I don't think a black person could ever get a fair chance in this area.

And there is one thing I am sure of. That is that if racists are allowed (or encouraged) to isolate themselves from others, they won't change.
My friends are slightly less racist as a result of them being exposed to me.

[1Hippiechick]

83. Hate to burst your bubble - maybe they are less racist when they are AROUND you...why be friends w/

any racist? I won't tolerate the remarks, and I make it known....and get up and walk out, walk away, or whatever. To tolerate any form of intolerance - be it against races or religious beliefs - goes totally against my grain - I'm not wired that way, and I'm grateful for it.

[Tim01]

84. Bursting my bubble? You think very highly of yourself, and your lofty morals.

The racist people YOU know are laughing at you as a hysterical bleeding heart freak. They have no respect for you or your opinion because you always leave in a huff,all upset and angry, as per the stereo type. And you help perpetuate their opinions. Congrats.

[1Hippiechick]

88. "My friends are slightly less racist as a result of them being exposed to me." Your words. n/t

[Tim01]

89. And I damn well stand by that. What the hell is your point?

I'm heading out the door to go hunting. I'll come back to this train wreck later.

[1Hippiechick]

92. Apologies....but LOL!

[Skittles]

115. don't apologize to that dickwad, 1Hippiechick

you spoke the truth

[1Hippiechick]

119. I am still LMAO at his post - I truly thought his post was supposed to be a joke! OMG, I

can't stop laughing....best laugh I have had in days, seriously. Me, offended? Oh, God, no....laughing till tears roll down my face... :rofl: and then, based on his last response, I knew he was serious! So, I apologized if my post offended him, but he needed to know that I still thought it was hilarious! :rofl:

[Iggo]

142. Wow.

:rofl:

[jonnyblitz]

93. who in fuck needs or would WANT respect from racist assholes

like your piece of shit friends?

[Tim01]

113. If you actually care about changing anything, you need respect from people who dissagree with you.

Nobody who dissagrees with you will ever listen to you if they have no respect for you.
If all you are interested in is hanging out with a bunch of whiners and complaining about how awful "those" people are. And how nothing is your fault,poor thing, "they" are just mean uneducated rednecks. Then you are in good shape.

The racists I come in contact with will see black people in a different light as a result of exposure to me. Uneducated racists start thinking differently whey they become educated, that is the cure.
I will improve my neighborhood and my community, one person at a time.

And you will not.But you will have something to whine about, lucky you. Thanks for not being part of the solution.

[Skittles]

121. like you respected hippiechick?

you need to get over YOURSELF

[1Hippiechick]

122. LMAO....again....n/t

[Skittles]

123. he cannot respond right now, chick

he's too busy getting his jollies killing animals

[1Hippiechick]

124. Laughing so hard all I can type is LMAO...b/c that's what I'm doing...LMAO n/t

[Skittles]

125. he gently talks to the animals first, to see if he can get them to see his point of view

inevitably though, they enrage him, causing him to fire his phallic symbol

[1Hippiechick]

127. LMAO -If you don't have a career in comedy or creative writing, you have missed your calling, imo!

I have now progressed to spasmodic coughing....

[Skittles]

129. I AGREE WITH YOU TIMMEH! I DO! I DO!

MEOW!

[1Hippiechick]

130. My sides are gonna be sore from laughing so hard...keep walking past the computer to see your latest

post - not helpful when trying to do housework! LOL :rofl:

[Arkansas Granny]

94. I don't think that it's as simple as just racism. Much of the hate stems from the fact

that those on the right expected to have a permanent Republican majority. They've become convinced that Liberals are un-American, unpatriotic, ungodly, socialists who are intent on destroying our way of life. Their fear and hatred have been played upon by the likes of Lumbaugh, Hannity and Beck to the point that they have lost all sense of reason. They would be denouncing any Democrat who was elected President. When you add the element of racism, which undoubtedly still exists, it just brings it to another level of nastiness.

[MissB]

105. +1

[Enthusiast]

95. I have a similar situation, James.

What can you do.

[jamesatemple]

104. Ah, my friend, we can just "carry on".

DU'ers can support one another in cyberspace with the kind comments such as yours. We got Obama elected by pulling together (mostly) and we can continue to work for universal healthcare...even if it doesn't happen until my great-grandchildren are born. Thanks for your response to the thread.

[TheCowsCameHome]

98. They simply cannot stand that a black man is president.

No matter how they try to justify their reasons, it boils down to racism.

[NRaleighLiberal]

109. I do as well. No big loss, though - completely lost freepers, no hope.

[Joe Chi Minh]

110. Lucky you.

[Joe Chi Minh]

111. Lucky you. I love to think of them slowly, slowly stewing in their own juice.

Funny thing is, gastronomy has never interested me before. I know it's only a small step, but I don't feel so gastronomically-challenged any more.

[ensho]

112. my family deemed that I was 'crazy' from the time I was young

because I was smart, not a racist and the biggest thing of of all, a 'feminist'.

I learned to have an inner toughness and to let their nasty ways just wash over me and not do any damage.

one of my children in his late 40s decided on a Mother's day to let me know how much he hates me.

I put his disrespectful behind out and haven't seen him since.

cripe.

[kmac3]

114. Sad Truth

I think the root to the present behavior of Republicans are first based on:
1) Democrats won ... POOR LOSERS, very poor loosers
2) Racism ... My God, a Democrat won and he's BLACK
3) Credentials ... Can you believe he's BLACK, but he's SMART

This description pretty much says it all! This depicts the level of their intelligence and the fact they are SHEEPLE. They are told how to react and respond and all follow without questioning truth or accuracy. Totally sad :cry: !

[stevietheman]

116. This racist masking goes back to at least the Civil War era,

where Southerners were pretending it was all about states' rights when it was really about maintaining slavery.

Racists know they can't be obvious about their feelings any more, so they take it out in other ways, and make up masking issues.

[stevietheman]

117. Idea: have a backyard party where many of the people you invite are African Americans...

and make sure the neighbor sees you hugging them, patting them on the back, and laughing with them.

Make him *really* crazy. :)

[jamesatemple]

126. What a great idea!

Heh, heh! Stevie...you are bad!!! In a great way. I've got some young musician friends who just also happen to be African-American Democrats. They might very well be interested in such a back yard party. No point in turning the amplifiers down, don't you think?

Thanks for the response.

[DFW]

132. LBJ once cancelled a party at a racist country club for that

He was organizing some private bash, and the country club asked for a guest list. Suspicious of their
motives, he asked if it was to see if there were any black folks among the invitees. They said yes, as
it was their policy to refuse them. LBJ was furious, saying "I'll invite 400 of 'em if I want to!" and
took his business elsewhere.

I may not have the number right, as my dad got this story in Washington at the time, and the country
club changed its policy soon after to avoid negative publicity, but that's the gist of it.

[barbl99]

128. Racist neighbor

Mr. Stemple I found your neighbors racism appalling. But it
does fit right in with  what we East Coast liberals think
about the midwest. I am contemplating a permanent move to OKC
to be nearer my daughter but frankly, being a liberal, the
stories i am reading on this blog are making me think again.

[jamesatemple]

136. Welcome to DU! And please move closer to your daughter!

We liberals have a way of making allowances for others ~ racially, religiously, culturally, sexually and otherwise. And, though some areas may be more conducive to our political philosophy, there is no place that will be completely compatible. Move with the idea of forgetting about politics and just being a good neighbor, the kind of neighbor that you would want to have.

On the outside chance that some small disappointment may come your way, as it did in mine, get on the internet, come to DU and describe what happened. Hundreds of well intentioned liberals will offer you kindnesses that will encourage you and bolster your spirits. Being close to a beloved daughter will compensate for a lot of nonsense from Conservatives.

Thank you very kindly for responding to this thread.

Jim Temple

[TomClash]

131. This reminds me of the old Specials song "Racist Friend"

If you have a racist friend
Now is the time, now is the time for your friendship to end

Be it your sister
Be it your brother
Be it your cousin or your, uncle or your lover

If you have a racist friend
now is the time, now is the time for your friendship to end

Be it your best friend
Or any other
Is it your husband or your father or your mother?

Tell them to change their views
Or change their friends
Now is the time, now is the time, for your friendship to end

So if you know a racist who thinks he is your friend
Now is the time, now is the time for your friendship to end

Call yourself my friend?
Now is the time to make up your mind, don't try to pretend

[jamesatemple]

137. That's great, Tom!

Thanks for posting the lyrics.

[TomClash]

141. Oh, and by the way

You did the right thing - with "friends" or acquaintances like that - who needs enemies?

[recycled]

138. Guess what? I would have been very clear after the N-bomb was dropped

When that goes down, all bets are off with me. I want people to know very clearly where I stand and why.

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

144. You should be the one who stopped speaking to him

After all, you did nothing to him. He's the one who slandered the candidate you supported and who used an offensive expression to do it.

But that's always the way it is with conservatives, isn't it? They're the ones who commit the offense and also get angry at the person they offend. They're the ones who angrily cut off communication as they can't tolerate any opposing points of view. Most conservatives seem to react this way.

[cyndensco]

147. I found your opening paragraph interesting.

The outrage you expressed to your neighbor was that he was insulting you because he insulted the candidate you voted for. Apparently, the use of the word, or your neighbor labeling Obama with it pissed you off to no end but you chose to focus on how YOU were insulted.

Your response seems backwards to me, but I realize our realities are different because you are white and I am black. I cannot imagine a situation where I would feel insulted because someone disparaged a candidate I supported. I would be much more offended by, and express offense at, the use of the slur.

I am not in any way suggesting your response was wrong. It would have been easier letting your bigoted neighbor have his say, but you chose to respond. I just think your objection was interesting.

And, FWIW, someone earlier on this thread suggested you have a BBQ and invite your African-American friends. That might be a cool undertaking if you have friends you would normally invite to your home. If they are just serving to aggravate your neighbor, please let them know ahead of time so they may decide if they wish to be a part of it.

Peace.

[jamesatemple]

149. Thank you, cyndensco, for your thoughtful response!

I could have stated my position that I didn't appreciate his racial slur. But, I chose to let him know that I was insulted because he denigrated my choice for President. You see, I felt that if I expressed my opinion that he had insulted the President, my opinion would have no weight toward affecting his future pronouncements in my presence. He obviously has no respect for a President far removed from our humble abodes. But I expressed my complaint to him in such a manner that he understood that the insult was to me, his across-the-street neighbor. I calculated, erroneously it app rears, that our pleasant acquaintance relationship could continue sans his despicable remarks about a very fine man.

In retrospect, it appears that I could have just said "...to hell with being a good neighbor to a bigot" and gone on about my business. But I wanted to give him an "out" if he was man enough to recognize it, then to follow through. It didn't work, obviously. But I did what I thought was right.

About the BBQ with my young, black musician friends: Retribution appeals to me sometimes in the middle of the night, disturbing my rest. But in the light of day, I realize that acting childish would put me in the same position as my neighbor...and I refuse to do that.

Peace indeed! There has not been much of it in my nearly 69 years of tenure. But hope springs eternal.