My friend had to cancel her cataract surgery...

[Contrary1]

She has insurance through her employer, and it will pay 80%. She would have had trouble paying that much, she is still on a payment plan with the hospital from an ER visit earlier this year. She thought she was having a stroke then, so it wasn't anything to mess around with.

But the final straw was the cost of her new glasses, once the surgery was completed. The ophthalmologist estimated they would be in the $500 range. She is just squeaking by financially as it it, after a 10% pay cut last month.

Her job requires a lot of computer work, and she can barely see the screen, so she figures it is just a matter of time before they let her go.

She has gone from calling me 3-4 times a week to nothing. I know she is depressed by her situation. The last 3 years have not been kind to her. She was unemployed for 14 months. When she lost her home, my hubby paid off her car so she would not lose that too. But our income has decreased dramatically also, we cannot help her out this time.

Here's part of the email from her I received earlier tonight:

"...Everything has been too much for me. It is okay, because I have learned so much. I just wished I had seen it sooner. You will always be my best friend. It is okay for you to let me go. I only wish that none of this ever happened. I just feel like I screwed up so bad, can't seem to let it go. I can't fix it or make anything right.
I realize that and trying to keep going on. It is just hard. I am ok but wanted you to know this is the hardest thing I have ever tried to get through. I would not blame you if you are fed up with me. I can't hardly stand myself."

Does anyone know of an organization that might be of some help to her?

[Tangerine LaBamba]

1. She sounds -

and I don't want to be alarmist - suicidal. Her words are very distressing.

Did you call her? Has she ever said things like this - "It is okay for you to let me go" - because that's the sound of someone who wants to end it all...........................

[MissB]

3. That was my reaction to reading the OP too

[Contrary1]

6. Yes, I called her.

She had been drinking, and when she told me it was OK to let her go, she meant as a friend. She realizes that she is not the person she used to be, and was offering me an exit.

That isn't going to happen. Once a person is a friend, they are stuck with me. She said she would call me tomorrow.

I have tried to get her out and about, but she feels guilty because I pick up the tab all the time.

I just feel so bad for her. Before all this came down, she was so generous with everyone she knew. Now, she cannot even afford to buy gifts for her grandchildren. She has made her share of mistakes (mostly financial) but really is a lovely person.

So, when I talk with her tomorrow, I will invite her for a sleepover. We always have a good time when she does that, and maybe we can brainstorm some sort of solution for her.

Thanks. :pals:

[Tangerine LaBamba]

8. Right this minute,

I love you.

You're doing exactly what I would do - my first thought was "Get her over to your house and make her stay over." Just long enough to break whatever routine is running through her head.

It has to be awful for her, but try to get her to understand that all the good things she did were wonderful, and now it's time for her to learn the very, very important - and very difficult - lesson of accepting. Of letting people do good things for you, as you once did for them.

That's how it works, remind her of that. As you sow, and all that. Someone mentioned the Lions Club, and I bet they can either help or direct her to someone who can help. There are resources out there, things we never even suspect until we need them.

You're a wonderful friend, the kind everyone should have, and I love you tonight for taking such good care of your troubled friend.

Give her my love, too. .....................................................

[Ignis]

27. "Once a person is a friend, they are stuck with me."

You're a good person. :hug:

I'm sure you'll be able to help your friend through her rough patch.

Someone explain to me again why we need healthcare reform? :sarcasm:

[aquart]

7. Suicidal is my reading, too.

Tell her that medical bankruptcy is not a reason to die. But if she goes blind, she's eligible for disability and all sorts of help.

We're a great country. We won't help a soul until we have pointlessly and unnecessarily destroyed them.

If she were Canadian, she'd be fine.

[SmileyRose]

30. Me three

[beyurslf]

2. I would call her TONIGHT and make sure she is ok. You may look in your

phone book for suicide prevention or crisis numbers too. There should be local options. Use 911 if you feel it is urgent.

[Critters2]

4. Talk to the Lions Club. Vision issues are kind of their special mission.

I know they help people with glasses. They may help with the cataract treatment, too. Not sure, but I know they help with eyeglasses.

Here's info: http://www.lionsclubs.org/EN/our-work/sight-programs/assistance-requests.php

http://www.lionsclubs.org/EN/our-work/sight-programs/sight-services/index.php

It looks like the first step is contacting a local Lions Club chapter.



Let your friend know you're looking for help, and make sure she's safe in the meantime.

[merh]

5. The Lions Club is known for assisting people with vision problems.

It is difficult to be able to help without knowing if she belongs to a religion or who, if anyone, she has gone to. If she is Catholic, St. Vincent DePaul Society helps out in situations such as the one she finds herself in.

If she is losing her sight and can no longer perform her job, one would think that she would be entitled to disability. Depending on the size of the company she works for, they cannot just fire her if she has a disability.

Thank you for caring.

[angstlessk]

17. my very first thought was the Lion's Club also, they offer all sort of

help for the seeing impaired.

[cap]

26. st vincent depaul society helps everybody...

not just Catholics... by law, they can not discriminate.

[noamnety]

9. If her area has 2-1-1 service

that's a good start point. They are like 911 but for this sort of thing - they've done the research so you don't have to randomly try to find an organization that will help with glasses, one that will help negotiate medical payments or maybe find a community clinic that can do it cheaper, one that will deal with a suicide hotline, etc. She could also ask for assistive devices for the computer - there are readers out there that handicapped employees should be entitled to, so they can do their job (but obviously the surgery is necessary).

[omega minimo]

10. .

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=389&topic_id=6468675&mesg_id=6468675

[merh]

11. what has that thread have to do with the needs of the OP's friend?

:shrug:

[omega minimo]

12. the discrepancy in priorities and medical research, plus irony of the visual connection.

No offense intended.

[lyonn]

13. Several years ago I had cataract surgery on one eye

The improvement was immediate. It was great. I got glasses but rarely use them. Mostly at night when I drive. Non-prescription reading glasses I use daily. Each person's condition vary with cataracts but she could ask her Dr. how critical the glasses will be. Just a thought.

[monmouth]

14. Same thing with me. After my surgery I didn't need glasses. The

nurse, on my second visit, started to write a prescription for glasses. I told her I didn't need them, she continued writing. Finally I told the doctor I didn't want or need glasses, if I did I would get them from the drug store. Nurse was chastised by doctor and honestly, I haven't needed the glasses. Your friend may not either.

[lyonn]

23. Glad to hear someone else had successful cataract surgery

She definitely needs the surgery and just deal with the insurance co-pay of 20%. It's like a miracle. You go from not being able to see out of the eye to darn good vision.

[dugaresa]

15. this is a case where I would contact a US Congressperson

and would nag and nag until they found help for your friend.

They need to be more involved so that they vote for universal healthcare.

If every person started bringing their health nightmares to their doorstep, they would stop the bullshit in Washington

You friend might also get some help.

[uberblonde]

16. There are online opticians who are much cheaper.

Personally, I'd be happy to chip in $10 for your friend's glasses. Does she have a Paypal account?

[Gman2]

18. She needs to lash out in anger. Like men do. Not internalize it.

That is my prescription. I too am slated for death, by this culture. I dont pout too often, but beat the shit outta the system. Till I die. All the while screaming my fool head off.

[Fire_Medic_Dave]

19. That must be why so many men commit suicide.

[Texasgal]

20. I am an RN for a cataract practice.

Have her go here:

http://www.preventblindness.org/

There are many organizations that can help her.

PM me if you would like more detailed information.

[SmileyRose]

31. k & R this thread for your post.

[KamaAina]

21. They can't let her go because she has a disability.

Under the Americans With Disabilities Act (ADA), an employer is required to make reasonable accommodations for an employee with a disability, such as (in this case) providing her with a screen magnifier, or screen-reading software such as Jaws. I know several people who are totally blind and who use computers all the time.

[drmeow]

22. what kind of glasses could

she possibly need that would cost $500? That sounds obscene. Has she talked to a discount eyeglass place? I would think she could get them for 1/2 that (still probably more than she can afford, though).

[Critters2]

24. I just spent $604 on new glasses.

No-line bifocals with non-reflective lenses and UV protection, prescription for presbyopia with astigmatism in both eyes. I got the cheapest frames in the place. The frames alone were $132. The first frame I looked at, and really liked, was $308 for the frame alone. Yeah, I got some bells and whistles. But I could easily see basic glasses, with a complicated prescription, costing $500.

[drmeow]

29. I just got no-line bifocals

with UV coating (but not non-reflective) for $254.93. Near-sighted, far-sighted, and astigmatism in both eyes. The frames were $70.00. I didn't get polycarbonate lenses but even if that was $100 more the glasses would have been under $400.

[quiller4]

25. I would urge my firend to get a second opinion. My Mom and aunt

both had cataract surgery. Neither needed new prescription glasses following surgery. Their eye doc whom I also see, said that do patients seldom require more than dime store readers following surgery as long as a lens implant is done. At his urging we bought 4 pairs of 2.0 readers for my mom and stationed them around her apartment. Post surgery she needed no distance correction. Her sister didn't even require readers after surgery. Both had worn bifocals for more than 20 years prior to surgery. My mother was 78 when she underwent the procedure. Her sis was 85. Both had monofocal lenses implanted with surgery. Now a PCL/IOL lens can be implanted so that no post-surgery correction is required

Both had their procedures done at day surgery centers. The fee for this procedure in my area runs from $2500-$3700/per eye before any Medicare or insurance write-down. After write-down, the Medicare co-pay is seldom more than $300 per eye. Cascade Vision and Skin Center, one of the largest providers in this area, offers 6 months to pay co-pays and deductibles and I'm told that is the common practice at the other centers in the area.

[lunatica]

28. I just had cataract surgery on both eyes (two months apart)

It's absolutely wonderful to see at a distance again. I'm looking forward to going to a figure drawing class again next week. I can see!

The doctor went for improving distance sight so I still need reading glasses for the computer and close up, but I had to get glasses with less magnification (I use cheap drugstore glasses and went from a 3 magnification to half of that)

[dkf]

32. Both my Dad and my Aunt got rid of the glasses they had been using for 50 years

and now they just need reading glasses from Longs Drugs. Maybe your friend needs a second opinion?

[morillon]

33. Does she have disability coverage through work?

If she can't see the screen to do her job, that's a classic definition of disability. A friend of mine got to the point that he was no longer able to sit upright at a desk for an 8-hour job. He's in enough pain that he can't sit at a desk for more than an hour, and not even that on bad days. He went out on permanent disability.

Once you cross over into being classified as disabled, you have some protections from being fired. I'd say she should be reading her Human Resources manual, pronto, and looking into what options she has. In every company I've ever worked for, I've had disability coverage. The place I work now has 100% salary coverage for the first three months and 66% after that.