Can anyone help with a letter to the principal of the school my daughter goes to?

[madinmaryland]

I posted the email a little bit ago.

I have started it, but it's just a stream of thoughts coming from my brain:

I read your attached email with much dismay. I believe a speech that emphasizes to students to set goals and working hard to be very important.

We allow politicians and dignitaries to speak at high school graduations and commencement ceremonies, yet we cannot allow the President of the United States to address our students in a completely non-political way. We have a man, Barack Obama, who idealizes the hope of America, that anyone can become President of the United States. Recall, if you will, George H. W. Bush addressed the nation's school children 20 years ago in regards to drug use which I whole heartedly agreed with.

I find it reprehensible that you and the administration of your school (and my daughter's) has been browbeaten into dropping this speech, by a fanatical wing of the republican party that still cannot handle having an African American man as the President of the United States. I would assume by the way you cowed into the commentary of the Fox "news" channel, that you must agree with them. Sad, just very, sad, that people in education do not even have the decency to stand up to the racism, bigotry, and hatred of that political wing in this county.

Thanks for any help.

[lob1]

1. W was reading "My Pet Goat" to school kids, when he should've been

guarding our country.

[madinmaryland]

2. "W" was only reading that book to one school and let's face it,

"My Pet Goat" is not really political.

:hi:

[47of74]

3. My response would be...

[elleng]

4. Where is this, really?

I'm in Hagerstown, was in Silver Spring (DC before that.) Montgomery County, or other?

For a start, I would delete the 3rd paragraph; much too antagonistic.

[madinmaryland]

10. Howard County. Obama carried this district by at least a 2-1 margin.

Scary, isn't it.

Any suggestions on re-wording the 3rd paragraph? I want them to know that I am very upset and why.

[elleng]

16. VERY scary. Will think about it,

but as others here have suggested, I would NOT go on the offense, but encourage meeting of minds. If they get their backs up against you, you won't win this one, and might very well mark yourself F for the future.

[madinmaryland]

23. Well, I have revised the third and fourth paragraphs, but I want them

to understand that we are upset. I don't expect to "win", but I want them to know my position. I will reiterate this at the open house in a couple of weeks.

Not sure about your last comment.

[1Hippiechick]

5. Paragraph 3: remove name-calling, assumptions, and the editorializing - just follow the tone

in your second paragraph. Just my opinion. I would also talk to other people who agree w/you and stage a peaceful protest--complete with signs--outside the school's administration building.

***edited to correct misspelling***

[elleng]

8. I agree, re: 3d paragraph.

Maybe, 'consider' some sort of demonstration, depending on reaction of administration.

[lunatica]

17. I think the third paragraph is OK

The reason I think so is that it shows the outrage that equals the act of what's going on. And it's a response that's genuine. I think the advice you give is good for almost any other kind of protest letter, but you have to take into account that the Principal is getting emails and letters from the Right Wing nuts who can't communicate any other way than yelling extreme right wing talking points.

[eleny]

6. I like those first two sentences

After that, reminding them of how W asked every child to donate a dollar for the children of Afghanistan might be an eye opener. Maybe add a link to the YouTube of that.

I'd make it as short as possible as those freaks might not read anything longer than a few sentences.

[Warpy]

7. I'd remove the sentence accusing him of cowing to Pox News

While s/he might have done so, an accusatory sentence like that won't do anything but harden that position.

The last sentence should stand by its own.

Otherwise, it's a great letter. Perfect dose of shame for a wimp.

[madinmaryland]

11. Yeah. That is just my anger showing through at Faux.

[MichiganVote]

9. Once upon a time before education became a business, teachers would have stood up...

Send your letter to the school board too. Or better still, call them. They hate that. And go to a schoolboard meeting and present a list of people you find objectionable for the schoolkids to listen to. Ask that the meeting notes include every single name. Could be a long list..........

[elleng]

15. Before education became a 'business?'

I'd say, before education became so politicized that administrators and teachers decided they had to leave their good judgment at home, and adopt any 'theology/philosophy/whatever' they perceived to be required by The Powers that Be.

[MichiganVote]

52. Right. Like I said, a business.

[Happyhippychick]

12. I would tell him that I am keeping my child home to watch the speech andwill bring him/her to school

after it is over.

And I would threaten to take that concept to the entire school. The schools have to listen when parents threaten to keep their children home because they lose funding when there is absenteeism. It is the only way you will get through to him.

[lunatica]

13. I think you're letter is done already.

You've made your point beautifully. Don't overdo it by adding anything else. Short messages are the best because the people you write to will be more likely to read the whole thing. Always remember to write to short attentions spans. It makes you a better writer.

[asjr]

14. And they had better not mark her "absent."

[madinmaryland]

18. I have edited it just a bit...

I read your attached email with much dismay. I believe a speech that emphasizes to students to set goals and working hard to be very important.

We allow politicians and dignitaries to speak at high school graduations and commencement ceremonies, yet we cannot allow the President of the United States to address our students in a completely non-political way. We have a man, Barack Obama, who idealizes the hope of America, that anyone can become President of the United States. Recall, if you will, George H. W. Bush addressed the nation's school children 20 years ago in regards to drug use which I whole heartedly agreed with.

I find it reprehensible that you and the administration of your school (and my daughter's) have been browbeaten into dropping this speech, by a fanatical wing of a political party in this country. We are considering having our daughter not attending due to your not allowing the President speak to our children. Our children need all of the motivation and support from the leaders of this nation. I would much prefer Barack Obama address our children rather than Michael Jordon, Jeff Gordon, or any of the other entertainment figures that our country fixates on.

Sad, just very, sad, that people in education do not even have the decency to stand up to the racism, bigotry, and hatred of that political wing in this county.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

56. That second line is still awful -

It's barely correct grammatically and hard to understand.

Why are you using the pronoun "we" when you mean "you"? You're not keeping the speech out of the school - the principal is. So why say "we"?

It's a scolding and angry letter that I, were I to receive it, would reply to with a very nicely worded "Go fuck yourself" letter that said nothing.

I wish you could tone down the anger. But, if that's what you want to convey, you got it. You're not going to change any minds with this one, just assure them that one parent is angry.......................

[madinmaryland]

58. Well, I do want to convey that I am upset.

Also, I have taken your advice, and I hope you don't mind, but I have included your comments and suggestions into my email.

On edit: I have removed and replace that second sentence.

Thank you!

[Tangerine LaBamba]

59. When I posted to you,

I was giving it all away to you. I don't mind in the least - you did what I hoped you would.

As long as you're happy with what you sent, that's what matters. I hope I helped a bit....................

[Tangerine LaBamba]

19. The second sentence is awkward -

Maybe it would be better if it said "I believe a speech by the President of the United States emphasizing the importance of working hard in school and setting goals to be a significant part of our children's education. It will surely be a memorable experience for our young people, something special for them to cherish."

The third paragraph needs to go. It's just you venting, and while it made you feel better to write it, take it out. Your catharsis is complete.

I'd make the third paragraph a query:

"I would like to know why you chose to disrespect the office of the President of the United States by not allowing the speech to be broadcast to your school. It seems to me that the President taking time to address our school children at a time when our educational systems are in such difficulty would be an occasion to celebrate, rather than to avoid.

Does this decision mean that you would discourage students from applying for the Presidential Scholars Program?"

Throw it back at the twerp, but be nice. Nice gets a lot more done than angry.

Good luck....................

[madinmaryland]

20. Thanks for your suggestions. As I said it was kind of a brain stream

without much editing.

Thanks!

[elleng]

24. Yup, HONEY vs. vinegar!

[Sherman A1]

21. I would simply tell them that you vehemently disagree with their choice

and you will record the speech (I believe it is on CSpan) and have your daughter and any of her friends that choose to do so watch it at your home. Or you could tell them that you believe the speech important enough to keep your daughter home from school to watch.

I would skip any type of remark that might be considered insulting..

They have made a choice, now you will make a choice...

It's strictly business.

[elleng]

22. My quick rewrite of para 3. (Haven't seen e-mail. prolly good.)

I am shocked to think that the school has somehow been forced to accept the outlandish accusations of a foolish minority that the President of the United States should not be heard speaking to young U.S. students about the importance of education to the future success of our Nation. You must be aware that among our other problems, disrespect for education is one of our most serious. To add to this the apparent disrespect for the President of the United States is outside the Pale for educators.

Love and Kisses, madinmaryland

[MrModerate]

25. OK, so I do a bit of copyediting by trade and have reworked your letter somewhat . . .

I read your attached email with great dismay. A speech from the president of our country, emphasizing that students set goals and work hard is very important. Especially this president, who has overcome many challenges in his life and achieved so much.

Having politicians, dignitaries, and other public figures speak to our children is common, well regarded educational practice. Recall, if you will, Ronald Reagan's address to the schoolchildren of America (he spoke on tax policy); George H. W. Bush's address 20 years ago about drug abuse; and George W. Bush's remarks -- widely replayed in schools -- about Afghan children and No Child Left Behind. None of these were considered objectionable by sensible school districts.

Let's be honest. This speech has been demonized by zealots who care more about their own political objectives than they do about America's schoolchildren. While they may be willing to assault the office of the presidency in this irresponsible matter, I am unwilling to have my daughter and her classmates miss an important educational opportunity because of unpatriotic demagoguery.

I request that you do the right thing and ensure our students don't miss this critical teaching moment. If you decline, I will keep my daughter home on the day of the speech so we can watch it together, and I will highlight the struggles that we all must make to overcome prejudice and cowardice. I am actively contacting other parents and urging them to do the same.

[1Hippiechick]

28. Change "None of these were considered" to "was considered" n/t :)

[MrModerate]

29. Ahem:

. . . according to Merriam Webster’s Dictionary of English Usage, “Clearly none has been both singular and plural since Old English and still is. The notion that it is singular only is a myth of unknown origin that appears to have arisen in the 19th century. If in context it seems like a singular to you, use a singular verb; if it seems like a plural, use a plural verb. Both are acceptable beyond serious criticism” (p. 664).

Perhaps a bit permissive, but if something is not just plain wrong, I prefer the more colloquial.

[patrice]

31. So, how are you feeling about ending sentences with prepositions these days?

It was the opinion of a Linguistics professor who was teaching us Transformational Grammar some years ago that the injunction against prepositions at the end of senences was Latin in origin and did not make sense in our much more Germanic language.

I think it is more colloquial now too.

[madinmaryland]

33. Damn Grammar Nazis!! Thanks for your help, you two!

:hi:

[patrice]

35. Always a pleasure, really!

I never intend it as criticism. There's a logic to it and to some of us that's like a very interesting puzzle, so it's actually offered in the spirit of fun, weird, I know, but fun nonetheless.

I also taught Writing Process in Senior Language Arts.

:hi: Back at you madinmaryland! :hi:

[MrModerate]

43. And the urge to edit someone else's copy is almost irrestistible. Thanks for the opportunity. n/t

[MrModerate]

40. To quote (or maybe paraphrase) Winston Churchill:

"That's the sort of nonsense up with which I will not put."

[Pangolin2]

44. Er, "none" means "not one." Is there some case where "one" is plural?

:shrug:

[MrModerate]

47. It's the phrase "none of these" that makes it plural. And per the dictionary citation . . .

The notion that such usage is wrong is a myth. It also just sounds better.

[Pangolin2]

51. But 'of these' is a prepositional phrase and isn't the subject.

I know, I'm picking nits, it's my nature. :-) To be honest, I'm rather ambivalent on stuff like this...I understand and appreciate that language has and will always evolve but keeping some traditional rules of usage appeals to my sense of continuity too. People who compile dictionaries aren't necessarily infallible or divinely endowed. :D

[1Hippiechick]

46. Was "none" not originally a contraction of "not one", i.e., n'one?

Just curious - because I edit quite a bit and use none as the contraction of not one. Thanks for any clarification. And, I hate it when the rules change. I recently learned that inanimate objects can show possession. The table's legs, the chair's arms. I was appalled...and obviously went to school a long time ago.

[MrModerate]

48. Dang that English! Won't stand still long enough to pin down.

Also why the Oxford English Dictionary runs to 20 volumes of teeny-tiny print -- just to keep up with the variations.

[Hekate]

39. Nicely done, Mr. Moderate. I endorse the idea of contacting the school & I like this rewrite

:hi:

Hekate

[Chemisse]

45. I like that - a lot.

"and I will highlight the struggles that we all must make to overcome prejudice and cowardice."

Subtle but effective slam.

[patrice]

26. Suggested edits enclosed in ( ).

I read your attached email with much dismay(, because) I believe a speech that emphasizes to students to set goals and (to work) hard (is) very important (to the survival of America).

Politicians and dignitaries (have traditionally been allowed) to speak at high school graduations and commencement ceremonies, yet ("we") cannot allow the President of the United States to address (delete - our) students in a completely non-political way(?) Recall, if you will, that George H. W. Bush addressed the nation's school children 20 years ago (against) drug use(, a point of view with which I whole heartedly agreed, and I was glad to hear him strongly support it). (Now,) we have a man, Barack Obama, who idealizes (an American hope) that anyone can become (whatever s/he hopes to be, even) President of the United States(, if s/he learns and works hard). (What is the problem with this message? Or, is it, in fact, as some have been saying, the person who is the problem? If so, please tell me why and please tell me why my views on the worth of this man do not matter to you.)

I find it reprehensible that you and the administration (of my daughter's public school have) been browbeaten into (censoring) this speech by a fanatical wing of the (R)epublican party(, which) still cannot handle having an African American man as the President of the United States. It (appears), by the way you (have) cowed (under) the commentary of the Fox "news" channel, that you must agree with (their minority point of view). (What about the rest of your constituents and others whom you serve? Are we nothing to you?) (It is sad), just very sad, that ("professionals") in education (cannot model for their students a reasonable way to stand up to bullying and conflict). (It appears that you) do not even have the (maturity and) decency to (resist the) racism, bigotry, and hatred of (an unpleasant and threatening minority) in this county. (What a great message to send to your students, sarcasm intended!)

I hope you don't mind how many edits there are; I write for a living, so I'm a little overly fussy; just ignore whatever does not appeal to you.

:hi:

[1Hippiechick]

27. Make the administrators accountable for their decision: who made it, how was it reached, based on

what? Parents have a right to know.

[patrice]

30. P.S. Totally get a few nice non-threatening people with well thought out signs

to stand, preferably at a stop light so people can read your signs, in front of their offices and smile and wave to friends who drive by and honk.

P.S. Dress up a little. It shocks the dickens out of people to see "nice" persons doing something so completely "unheard of!!!" :rofl:

[madinmaryland]

32. What really pisses me off, is that this email was a Friday dump.

The speech is on Tuesday after a holiday weekend. Can't really organize much.

:grr:

[patrice]

34. Cowards!!!

:grr: No wonder children don't respect them. :grr:

Kids know what you are. I know that they know, because I taught highschool for 8 years. The truth is, by definition, inevitable, especially when you have 100+ teenagers trying to out manipulate you every day.

They admire honesty, intelligence, strength, and people who respect them by asking the same of them.

[femmocrat]

37. The same thing happened in our district.

Letters went home with the children on Friday afternoon. :eyes:

[MrModerate]

42. Hence the "cowardice" theme emerging here. Looks like the school administration . . .

is running scared from anything that can throw a shadow. Having had my kids in Maryland schools a few years ago, I'm not surprised at this behavior.

[1Hippiechick]

53. Sure you can organize - there will probably be situations where parents won't even be told that O's

speech will not be heard in their child's school.

[madinmaryland]

54. What's even sadder, is there was no school on Friday. So they waited until

Friday to announce this. There was not even any "friday folder" announcement sent home with the kids.

[1Hippiechick]

55. Well that absolutely SUCKS! (laying aside being calm and collected.) n/t

[madinmaryland]

57. Yeah. That really pisses me off.

[femmocrat]

36. My two cents:

"George H. W. Bush addressed the nation's school children 20 years ago in regards to drug use which I whole heartedly agreed with."

It sounds like you whole-heartedly agreed with "drug use". Can you re-phrase it somehow?

[madinmaryland]

38. Uhmmm. Thanks! I will.

[MrsBrady]

41. leave out the fox line...

and just give a stat like....

In our state, the drop out rate for 2008 was (fill in the blank). As an educator, I know this concerns you as much as does me, a parent.
(If the principal has children in school or grown...you could also say...as an educator and a parent, I know that this concerns you..)
So please, tell me how our President supporting children staying in school and doing well is bad for our children...my child?
I await your answer.



just my opinion....

[madinmaryland]

50. I have taken the fox line out.

Thanks!

[carlyhippy]

49. hmmm

As an educator, you above anyone else should make the education of our children priority one. Our nation's leader wants to offer a positive, encouraging speech about staying in school and working towards personal success. Since when has this become such a bad thing? The older students will have the opportunity to discuss his speech and its pros and cons, offer opinion and basically learn about others views and ideas, since when has this become a bad thing? Do we not want our children to grow up to become independent, free thinking adults with their own point of view, but at the same time learning to listen to others' views? Do we not want our children to listen to our leaders? What example are we sending to our young people? The censoring of this speech teaches these children that our nation's leaders are not worth listening to, and that is very, very sad. Why can't the school still show the speech, and those who want to watch it go and watch it, the children who do not want to watch, or their parents are against it, they can stay in the classroom?