How do you guys do it?

[Technodaoist]

I've been reading DU for a long while now. It's one of the hometabs in Firefox, so its pretty much a daily thing for me.

I don't really post, and I'm sorry to say when I do it's usually a snarky reply... (Full Disclosure: I think I've always had anger issues, but only began to do something about it a few years ago - up until then it was just "a part of me", and therapy is a long process to be sure... That's right - I could be properly labeled the stereotypical "angry liberal" by those that think emotions can be turned on and off like a faucet... and it goes without sayin that it pisses me off.)

So here's the scene:
Location: Post Office - approximately 6 people in front of me and two at the counter with several packages each.

A minute or so after I walk in, an older woman lines up behind me followed by a much older man. At this point one of the postal workers is in the back, so the old guy is barely in the door when he groans and says "Only one teller? Great."

I glance over my shoulder, hold up two fingers and say "There are two of them..."

A couple of seconds pass and he says "Government efficiency at its finest, eh?" The woman behind me agrees with him by saying "Our tax dollars at work." This derisive, sarcastic conversation is loud enough for everyone to hear in the otherwise silent room.

Before they can continue their pre-scripted conversation ("Imagine if our healthcare was run like this") I say under my breath (which means loud enough for everyone to hear) "Give me a FUCKING break." I could say it was a bad day for me and they caught me at the wrong time - but that's the cowardly way to deal with it - I am responsible for my actions and words whether I'm angry or not.

Dead silence. A couple seconds later the other postal worker comes out from the back and the old guy says, "Huh... I guess there ARE two of them working."

At this point I can feel it coming on... If you don't have anger issues, you may not know what I mean.... Its hard to describe - but it feels like a spiral of thoughts and energy that both tears you down and builds to an unending, wrath-of-GOD crescendo. Calling it head spinning doesn't begin to do it justice - It's your heart, your lungs, your muscles, everything begins spinning and spiraling in a feedback loop of fury. I've never hurt or assaulted anyone in this state, but I'm a big guy and I guess I'm intimidating... not that it makes it any better.

Seconds after I say this, the two people with all the packages are gone, the line begins moving, and it's no time at all (2 MINUTES at best) before I'm getting my delivery taken care of. The lady behind the counter can tell I'm pre-occupied, and the room still has that residue of tension... and it feels like I'm bottling up everything - which I know is not going to do me any good - so I HAVE to say something, but I can't give them the pleasure of an explosion... as much as every cell in my body was screaming in righteous anger to do so.

It felt like it took every ounce of control I had (and even then it didn't feel like it was enough) but somehow I came up with a course of action while waiting for the postal worker to finish.

Taking the receipt, I say "Thank you very much." Without pausing I begin to turn and make eye contact with every person in the line behind me as I say though gritted teeth. "I don't believe I had to wait that long at all," an audible creasing of the receipt accenting every word. "I, for one, am proud of this country and what our government does for us." Despite the words, the tone of my voice was more of a "Go fuck yourself."

The older guy (who could have stormed the beaches at Normandy for all I knew) averted his eyes while sneering "Good for you". The woman began to protest "Don't look at me..."

At this point I'm walking (storming?) out and give her and her colleague one last look and a snarling, "Whatever..."






The thing is - deep down - way under the fury... I felt sorry for them. They both radiated fear and uncertainty (I may have influenced that, I suppose). They both looked like they'd benefit from ANY kind of health care, much less a "govt run program"...

So I ask again - How do you guys do it? I read a lot of these posts and it seems that even with the trolls and ignorance, most DUers are willing to at least attempt civility when discussing things. And those that aren't rarely get any traction (at least on the front page posts). How do you deal with it when you see or hear that same stupid, short-sighted, narrow-minded statement you've seen a thousand times before? How on earth can you have the patience to spoon feed facts to drooling morons that spit those facts out like they taste of castor oil?



My reaction at the post office may seem a bit much - but like I said, anger is my demon. I will own it and take responsibility for it without blaming those that anger me.

Which is more than most, IMHO.

[proud2BlibKansan]

1. I try so hard not to hate them

I talk to them online. They are unbelievably ignorant and hateful. But it is also easy to laugh at their ignorance. They still believe there are death panels and Obama was not born in the US and Sarah Palin is the best thing that ever happened to America.

[Papagoose]

123. I try not to hate anyone

but it is getting harder and harder. I have reached a point in my life that I am sick of trying to get along and reach consensus. I increasingly see right wingers as either stupid, insane, evil, or all of the above. I would never tolerate this type of stereotyping by my children and I despise hypocrisy, so I just bite my tongue, grit my teeth and try to stay calm.

[Skittles]

2. same way you do, with gritted teeth

allow me to add something about the post office - I mail care packages to troops in Iraq and Afghanistan very often so I'm at the post office a lot. I've learned this: you can very often NEVER tell when there will be a long line or no line - for example, I'd go at 10:00 AM on Thursday - no line, yet at that same time the next Thursday there would be a really long line. It's hit and miss!

[seabeyond]

3. damn i like your writing. ever thought about being a writer. develop a character like you lol lol

you are good.

really

i read 5, 6, 7 books a week. writing is a thing for me. you are good. thank you for the story, so descriptive. very good. lol. now

how do i deal with it. millions of different ways, a few times, anger. i have an explosive anger. here a sec and gone. had employee tell me, i was aggressive and scared her. what..... i didnt know. but for a female and aggressive, interesting and fun mix. generally, that about shuts people up. lol. at least long enough for me to talk. and i can turn about anything into a laugh. and i can have empathy and turn it to a nice as i lecture. a mix and a bag


i did enjoy your post.

[Technodaoist]

18. Thank you...

I'm not sure what to say to that, except thanks!

[BlooInBloo]

4. I suspect it wouldn't be right of me to encourage you, so I'll just say nothing.

:P

[MrModerate]

5. I have only a pale echo of what you've described with regard to anger issues . . .

But "I feel your pain," as one of our better presidents has said. Keep in mind though, if your head explodes (or your blood pressure causes an early stroke), then the ratbastards win.

Your parting remarks seemed perfectly appropos, I'm just sorry you had to suffer the emotional storm -- and difficult application of self-control -- to get there.

[Barack_America]

6. I hideout in liberal strongholds.

Obama got 96% of the vote in my district, I kid you not.

I've never received a RW smear e-mail.

I have severe anger issues when it comes to wingnuts too. Segregation has served me well.

[Name removed]

7. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Technodaoist]

15. Wow...

Thanks for the support.

Should I have just written "Some old fucks pissed me off with their right-wing talking points?" Would that have made it past your oh-so-sharp deductive reasoning?

I pity you if your first reaction is that. I used to be like that too - in fact, I still am quite a bit... Here, lemme try.

=================

YEAH RIGHT - you're a liberal that can spot a Freeper!

Way to sow some discord there, pal! Agitate for any insurance companies recently? And if I'm a fucking Freeper, all I can say is it takes one to know one...


Punkass

[TheWatcher]

88. Don't mind him.

He loves to show off constantly that the four letters that come after the first three letters in his user name are something he is COMPLETELY bereft of. :)

[Blue_In_AK]

19. ddeclue, it sounds like you've got anger issues of your own.

Give the guy a break.

[Name removed]

22. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Blue_In_AK]

26. I understand that,

but it seems to me like the OP is just being descriptive in his writing. I usually try to give people a pass until they're clearly over the line. I know of some high-post count posters here whom I would have tombstoned years ago. I guess we all have different radar.

[ddeclue]

30. Mine is set really really low - it's hard to fly under mine.

:)

[Technodaoist]

34. Suspicious is fine

Accusatory is another.

Read some of my other "low-flying" posts. I don't even remember what I wrote they were so few and far between. You'll probably see the snark I mentioned is aimed at reply posts like yours.

Do some research - it shouldn't take too long for such a dedicated truth-seeker as yourself.

[darkstar3]

53. Um, you DO know that's a rule violation, right?

I thought sure I read somewhere that Skinner HATES unfounded troll accusations.

Or maybe that was just projection...

[Chulanowa]

81. I believe the average literacy level on this thread just plummeted

Thanks for that.

[texastoast]

8. Snark them--sarcasm is your friend!

Say something like, "Oh, maybe the lady with the packages is sending something to the troops. You DO care about the troops, and you DON'T mind waiting for that, DO YOU?"

Come see me and I will give you bitch lessons. Anger can be very rewarding, you know.



:evilgrin:

[Technodaoist]

41. I know...

I know too well... that's the problem.

[texastoast]

103. Well, then

You choose. Be funny, effective, and satisfied or not. No one is "doing it to you" except you. Sounds like you are willing yourself to not be powerful. You are in control of your mind and actions (unless you are mentally ill, and if you are, please seek help. Beating a pillow can be very therapeutic and level your brain chemicals and it's cheaper than a therapist.).

[Jennicut]

9. I learned some patience from having a conservative father...and sometimes

I can leave him spinning in his tracks. He does not always expect me to come at him with detailed facts. Throw facts in their face and even if they don't believe you, you have left them confused by the fact that liberals are not stupid. Most of them think we are dumb and socialists that blindly follow our leaders. Actually, most liberals are dedicated to causes and have less interest in who will carry those causes out. Conservatives are more caught up in political personalities and just repeat word for word what they are told.

[abelenkpe2]

10. So tired of the government is bad mantra

The primary purpose of any government is to provide for the well being
of its citizens. Why it is so popular to demean government workers has never made sense to me. They work for the public. Not for a corporation concerned only with the bottom line.

I know what you mean about wanting to get angry.

My uncle is the master at getting people's attention and drawing them in. He's a huge guy too around 6'4". He used to be in the military. He will listen to people blather away making generalizations then he'll clear his throat a bit and talk softly causing everyone to stop and strain to hear him. And he will blow people away with reasoned facts and uncomfortable truths. I wish I was more like him myself. It is a gift. But everyone is different and it is more important to confront ignorance than allow it to grow.

[rucky]

31. Some people think that if you're not getting exploited by your employer...

you're not working hard enough. They're resentful of government and union workers because they're willingly screwing themselves over and take some perverted pride in that.

JMHO from Ohio.

[Doctor_J]

11. You'll have to ask someone else.

I am not civil with them.

Imagine if health care were like USPS. Everyone in the country could have access. Basic service would be within everyone's budget (like the $.43 stamp), with deluxe service available for those of means. There would be competition, but it would be fair, not like the price-fixing in the health industry. No pre-existing disqualification, no one contesting your eligibility to mail a letter or package, no CEOs collecting millions of dollars that should have gone to the service.

Hartmann had on some idiot a copule weeks ago who was arguing that the USPS should be disbanded - that mail delivery should be more like health care. Hartmann missed an excellent opportunity to say to the subhuman guest that this would leave 50 million Americans without any mail service. To be fair, the guy was a liar besides being insane. He said he uses Fed Ex because "he got tired of having the Post Office losing his stuff". I mail 15 letters and 8-10 packages per month and have NEVER lost one.

Anyway

[CrispyQ]

12. I would have asked them,

"If government run delivery is so bad, why aren't you shipping your items at UPS or FedEx?"

[Gregorian]

13. I hold it in. Therefore killing my body and soul.

When I'm at the mercy of idiots I go ballistic. I can drive. I mean I can DRIVE. In America there is pretty much nothing but a bunch of morons behind the wheel. I just cannot tolerate it. And as a result I've had a few wrecks. Passing in the dirt in the central divider when confronted by both lanes clogged for what was approximately fifty miles. I shit you not. People who cannot negotiate a straight god damned line! So what the hell does this have to do with your post? You are living amongst people who because of their own idiocy are holding you back. It's righteous indignation.

Being that I am small. I mean, the smallest kid out of 1200 high school students small, I leaned to express myself through music, or not at all. I ran away from people. And that's how it is to this day, forty years later. I've got my own world on my own property.

But on the forum it's different. I rarely get upset. I did a couple of days ago for some reason. I guess the reply I got seemed rudely worded. And I had to defend myself. But I value DU'ers. And I'm really happy to be among them. Happy isn't the word. I'm privileged that they haven't rejected me.

There are a lot of shit beings on this planet. I am not afraid to speak my mind. It's far worse than I ever thought. But I should really explain. It's hard to explain because it ends up as a contradiction. And perhaps that's why it's best to try and deal with the rage as a personal responsibility. Instead of blaming others, it's my responsibility to find my own peace. What I was going to say is that bad stuff comes from not only bad people, but from good people. I had something to do with the invasion of Iraq, for example. By virtue of living in this modern society, I helped create a demand for petroleum. Even as frugal as I am. So maybe I should be pissed off at myself.

I certainly understand the rage for the face value stuff. All I can say is "patience". Step back and just observe. Just observe from the outside, rather than be the object of focus. After all, in a hundred years not much of this is going to be of any value. The bigger stuff will be. But the immediate won't.

I used to spend my days ripped on excellent cannabis. But I've since weened myself off. That kind of took the edge off. I don't know if all of this typing has done anything for the universe. But at least you know you've got company. Chances are if you're pissed off you're smart. If that's any consolation. Haha.

[Technodaoist]

43. amazing

Did I reply to my own post from another timeline? A parallel universe perhaps where I moved to the country?

Driving was a BIG thing with me too - It was probably one of the earliest things I had "enlightenment" on re: my anger. Simply put - people in cars (it dehumanizes them a little, makes it easier to suspend disbelief) are tiny forces of nature you have no control over... You'd have better luck guessing what a tornado is going to do and influencing its actions.

[lildreamer316]

73. Hey, a +1 to both of you..

just to say I'm paying attention to what you have to say.

[Technodaoist]

74. /bow

Many thanks.

[Gregorian]

116. I'd give anything to share thoughts with you. But it would probably be commisseration.

I used to love racing my car through the hills of the SF bay area. I was one of the first with a turbocharged car, back in the 70's. Then I met a girl from Tehran, going to Stanford. One day when I was showing her my car, she said "Californians are car crazy". I didn't fully realize what that meant.

Years later I was in college. One day a friend said I should put down my car and commute by bike. The thought was discomforting. Then I tried it. I commuted on a bike for the next ten years. 11 miles each way. Rain, shine, snow. It was fantastic. Except for the god damned CARS.

But my disappointment with cars came in a flash, in 1971. I remember one Christmas I was on my bike on the top of an overpass. I saw the sea of cars. From that moment on I have been in a state of ill ease. Even though I did get into cars after that, for a while.

Then later after college, I spent the next nearly 20 years trying to escape the auto mentality/culture/society. I did with one property. But it was also undesirable from another aspect. And from then on I have been trying to find a place that just has silence. The car invasion is so pervasive, due to population, it's hard if not impossible to escape.

It's a disease. An addiction. And we've painted ourselves into a very dirty corner.

Yesterday I came home from the store, and a woman was trespassing on my property. She had driven in and was sitting in the shade in her car. I'm fine with that. I got out and we talked for a half hour. I told her that I would not be driving my four wheel drive dually F-350 if other cars weren't on the road. I'd go downtown on my bike with a bike trailer.

So anyways, that's my blabbing. It's a serious and very sad story. A soulless society, if you ask me. A lot of people seem to be happy, but I don't think so. They are unconscious. They don't even know what they're missing.

Bikes. Our country could be infinitely better if people just got out of their cars. I'm sure you've found that if you want to get into an argument really fast, just threaten the notion of the automobile. It's central to this society. And a very sensitive subject. Even more so than people's freedom to reproduce, which is also touchy.

My deepest thoughts. Ones that have consumed my life energy. It's a shame, because there used to be so much more to life. As I've bought and sold farms and ranches, I've lived on properties that were glorious in 1950. But offensive in 1990.

[Vickers]

92. "I don't know if all of this typing has done anything for the universe."

It has, it has.

:hug:

[Gregorian]

118. Yay!

Excellent. Now I'm smiling.

I never thought I would find a place where I could go on a serious rant and feel good about it.

I'm learning.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

14. I'm a cat, they're catnip -

or, as a friend of mine puts it when I am in full flower and having fun with an idiot, "You're playing with your food again, Tangerine."

You take them seriously. That's your first error. They're not worth taking seriously, so all you can do is to play with them.

They're good enough to be mocked, so you smile. That always confuses them, because - this is a secret you don't know, I'll bet - they're angrier than you are. That's what keeps them going, a lot of them, their anger.

They don't know what to do when confronted with a smile and a gentle word. Your "Give me a FUCKING break" was intimidation, designed to silence them, and it worked, but it also diminished you, and, as evidenced by your writing about it, you felt bad afterwards.

The trick is for you to feel good after.

So, maybe if you just loved them up, ask them questions, lead them to believe you're One Of Them, and then let them have it - a nice wrap-up line, something like, "Well, you know, pretty much everything you just said is nonsense, and don't think for a moment that I agree with you, but isn't this a wonderful country, where even idiots like you are allowed - or even encouraged - to express their opinions, no matter how wrong-headed, out loud, and nothing bad will happen to you for doing it?"

That should perplex them.

Then, you might add that "We're lucky to have a President who loves and respects the Constitution so much, he taught it in a law school, rather than that little chickenshit Bush, who tried everything he could to violate our civil rights. Thank God for President Obama!"

That's the kind of wrap-up that will leave you feeling great, and, of course, you walk away from them before they even know what hit them.

Make them your toys. Mock them with a smile. Enjoy yourself.

Don't take them seriously.

Use their own words to trap them, and have fun while you do it.

Bet you end up having fun. I bet you do.

And, in the meantime, good luck................................

[Gregorian]

21. Damn, I got something from this. Thanks!

I am also a serious one. And I pay real attention to people, and try to see how they might be right. I just realized that maybe I'm the one who's right. And that being happy when it's over might be better than getting angry.

Shit, Tangerine, you helped me.

I guess I'm kind of timid as well. And overly polite. It's time to break out of my shell and be equal and speak up once in a while. I let 'wingers step on me. Yay, I feel like one of those idiots in the church where the preacher has just touched them and let out a great big AMEN. Now I'm speaking in tongues and flopping around. :)

[Tangerine LaBamba]

24. That's my boy...........................

You're on your way, child, and I'm happy and proud to have had any role in this beautiful metamorphosis.

One thing you must learn, because it's far more important than anything I wrote earlier, and that is that you must always operate from the position that you are right.

That's not to say that you're not willing to listen to other perspectives, and you might even change your mind if presented with new information that would cause you to act intelligently and adjust your opinion.

But, let me tell you a secret: people are dumb.

If you start out by giving away your power - assuming that others are smart - you're defeating yourself. They're not smart. They really are not.

Adjust it all, my friend, and go forth to spread joy.

And keep smiling while you take absolutely NO shit from anyone......................................

[Gregorian]

42. Incredible.

Here I am, 53 and just learning this stuff. Believe me, your last post was perfect for me. I have always felt smaller than everyone. Partly because I was that 90 pound 20 year old.
I'm building my house. I've designed a house that's all steel. The architect said I was nuts. After a year of working with him, he has come around and told me it's the hottest idea he's seen. The engineers I've been working with are teaching me that I'm more of an engineer than I thought. After all, I am an engineer. But I just felt like everyone else was smart, and I just had a degree. So today I was talking with my folks about what has been happening. It ends up that I'm running circles around these engineers. It's like today I realized that I actually have quite a lot of ability. Duh! But your posts are nailing it home. Do not assume that these people know more.

Well part of what happened to me was that I grew up in the shadow of Stanford university. I had phd's on every side of my neighborhood. Everyone really was smarter than me. But as DU has taught me, there are more idiots on this planet than I ever imagined. Haha.

I like your attitude. Thanks for spreading a little confidence around.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

50. I was married to a Ph.D.,

and he was twenty years older than I. I was just a 22 year old undergraduate when we married, and I thought he was SO smart. I mean, he was a professor!

Imagine that day when my best friend, comforting me after yet another fight with my husband, said to me, "How come you don't understand that you're smarter than he is?"

After that, there was no stopping me. He became history, and I became a lawyer. And other things.

So, I'm happy to be able to expand on what you've already learned on your own - hey, you're an engineer! And you're better than most of the other engineers. And other people.

Remember that. It's a cardinal sin to deny your gifts. Spread them around. Have fun with them.

But, never, NEVER deny them.

You're making me smile, Gregorian..................................................

[Technodaoist]

44. /nod

"If you start out by giving away your power - assuming that others are smart - you're defeating yourself."

A very hard lesson to learn.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

52. It truly is -

it takes something dramatic to make it sink it.

It's an exercise in mindfulness, one that the Buddhists would embrace.

You must be, at all times, aware of your gifts. No, I'm not preaching superiority, not at all. I am preaching reality.

Embrace your gifts. Your anger does not define you - your gifts do, and it's your duty to cultivate those wonderful things that you possess, and to nurture them, and to deliver them to the world.

I learned something a long time ago, and tonight, out of nowhere, I was able to tell you about it. And someone else heard me - I spoke to him, as well, and he's very happy.

See how that happens, Tech?

Embrace all of it - it's all you, and it's lovely and powerful.

Rock the world, baby.........................................

[Technodaoist]

54. I will have to meditate on that... Thank you n/t

[Technodaoist]

37. I agree with the sentiment...

There were times when that approach felt good too (see aforementioned snark). Hell, I've led on everyone from Republicans, door-to-door proseltyzers, and Amway salesmen... but part of me is done with toys and feel a part of me needs to grow up (purely a self-judgement there). Especially when I can make that such a common complaint of many of my fellow humans - the faults we see in others tend to be rooted in the self. I find I don't have the patience for it anymore, and it really doesn't change how I feel afterward. Any sense of satisfaction or superiority I may get quickly becomes an arrogance I hate to see in others, and dread in myself.

I'm sad to say I both love your advice and cannot bring myself follow it... your post made me smile, though - don't go changing.

[Missy Vixen]

68. "You're playing with your food again, Tangerine."

:rofl:

You know what they say: Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.

I have a blog. I am currently getting an influx of RW trolls who can't wait to tell me They're Winning on health care and they will prevail.

I only wish I could see the looks on their faces when they get the smackdown of all smackdowns.

:rofl:

[myrna minx]

129. "You're playing with your food again."

:rofl: Thank you for this thoughtful advice.

[MadHound]

16. Well, I'm glad to hear that you're getting help with your problem

Because quite frankly that sort of anger is going to kill you sooner rather than later, hypertension, high BP, etc. Not to mention that, big guy or not, some day you'll run into somebody with just as many anger management issues as you have, and they'll clean your clock.

I had this problem for a number of years when I was a young man, abusive household and all of that, and one of the ways I learned how to deal with it is simple exercise. I took to riding my bike twenty plus miles a day. Getting out of the abusive household also helped.

You really do need to get a hold of yourself however, sure, that volcano anger actually feels great at the time, but in the long run it will only lead to something you regret later, or worse.

[vadawg]

28. best reply so far, someone with as many issues as the op is going to get himself killed

or hes going to snap and be the one killing others, kinda scares me when i see so called other rational posters talking about their feelings of hatred for people who are different than them. Mayby its something genetically coded in me that picks up on the early signs that the times are going to get bad...

[Technodaoist]

40. please don't...

...take my one post as a blanket statement on how I live every moment of my life. If all you saw in that post was the anger, then I'm sorry.

[vadawg]

45. no problem, that post just sounded like something i would hear in an interview

when i was trying to figure out why people are dead. but you do need to find a hobby buddy :)

[Technodaoist]

47. thanks

and I understand why you posted that. That exact reaction is what concerned me most when I considered posting this.

Its tough to give a full accounting of oneself in one post - even if it is long-winded.

[Technodaoist]

32. Thanks

And I will definitely take advice on that topic from someone named Madhound to heart. You're right on the exercise (much as exercise galls me - I never had to when I was younger dammit!) You're also right on a bigger, angrier version coming along - fortunately I've been a good judge of what hills are worth dying on, and avoided or defused any physical conflict (defusing conflict isn't what it used to be)

Its been a long slog for sure - and that event was the worst I'd experienced in a long while, at least a year or so... It'd take a decades worth of background to reassure you I'm not the eternal powderkeg that resurfaced in that post office...

Thank you for the advice and support.

[MindPilot]

17. That is the most perfect and eloquent description I've ever read.

It sums up exactly how that feeds-on-itself anger feels. If it's OK, I'm going to print that off and show it to my therapist.

[Technodaoist]

46. That was the last thing I expected to read

And would be honored if you did so...

I am humbled and don't know what else to say.

[BuyingThyme]

20. It's not you. It's them.

[asdjrocky]

23. Thanks for that personal and thoughtful post.

I too have dealt with anger all my life. I've been almost eight years without violence and everyday I feel a bit better. Hang in there.

[Technodaoist]

49. Thank you

I know its a struggle that will be life-long. Like any addiction...

Congratulations on eight years, and you stay strong too.

[Lagomorph]

25. To the rest of us in line, you're...

just another one of those weirdos that start talking out loud to the frightened pedestrians. Most of us are just patiently waiting to get our mail out, while tightly gripping the pepper spray in our pockets.

:tinfoilhat:

[vadawg]

36. rofl, pepper spray my ass, you should be gripping your semi automatic..

[Lagomorph]

39. Had to leave it in the car...

it's the post office.

;-)

[vadawg]

55. aahh yes, i always leave my 12 gauge inthe truck for the post office

still carry my concealed though lol

[Technodaoist]

56. LOL

It does have a "HULK SMASH" quality to it I guess...

[Technodaoist]

51. and that's what bothers me... and why I asked n/t

[Lagomorph]

I wish you could have met my grandmother....

If she had been the Queen, many, many heads would have rolled.

[Toasterlad]

27. It Seems Like You Haven't Really Absorbed the Moral of Your Own Story

Despite actually admitting you have anger issues, you don't seem to quite see that the problem here was YOU. It's called over-reacting. It happens a lot to people with anger issues. The first step in dealing with it is recognizing it.

[Technodaoist]

58. I'm fully aware...

...the issue is me.

I'd like some credit for
A) Stating I have (and have had) anger issues.
B) Trying to explain those anger issues in a way that wasn't "FUCKFUCKFUCK"
C) Stating I take responsibility for my actions.
D) Stating that blaming it on others or the situation is the "cowards way out".

Thanks for the advice. I will stick with the

E) Therapist.

[rucky]

29. You need to post more.

You can tell a good story. Plus, hitting that delete button a thousand times before hitting "post message" is good anger management practice :)

:thumbsup:

[Technodaoist]

59. Thanks

I appreciate the compliment...

And you only have to hit the "Send" button once in a fit of passion to learn the value of your advice... at least I did.

This post was a long time coming - I think some people think I left the post office and wrote it as soon as I got home...

[RagAss]

33. I deal with it by asking "What would Otis do?"

[Technodaoist]

60. I'll drink to that n/t

[havocmom]

35. Perhaps some of us are just doing what is more natural to us as individuals

Don't beat yourself up for being quick to unleash righteous indignation. Give lessons to those of us who need to learn how to do it more effectively!

As one who gives others too many chances before finally figuring some people are, and always will be, assholes, I could use some tutelage from someone with your propensities. Oh, and could you give some lessons to Harry Reid? ;)

There is a time for everything, even anger. If you work to control it when it might be too much, you are entitled to let 'er rip when assholes have it coming. :hug:

[Technodaoist]

38. I can see that...

There are times the "Dad Voice" is appropriate...

but it went far beyond that for me a while ago, been working my way back a while I guess.

[proud patriot]

48. "how do I do It?"

I would have responded LOUDLY " I AGGREE MUCH RATHER SPEND MY
TAX DOLLARS HERE TO INCREASE EFFICIENCY THAN BLOWING UP PEOPLE
INVADING COUNTRIES"

And I Would have taken it as far as saying "what are you doing here shouldn't you be using a ""private"" company instead of complaining while spending MY TAX DOLLARS" ...

Of course I'm a redhead and people kind of expect me to be crazy

:hi:

[darkstar3]

57. Wow, the articulation...

As someone who suffers from their own anger issues from time to time, it seemed rather familiar to read your description. I think, though, that you may have missed something: The HEAT. Have you ever noticed the heat? Maybe your anger issues are different from mine, but every time I have one of those "unending, wrath-of-GOD crescendo"-type moments, it feels like my skin should be red as a beet, and I should be able to singe or even melt things with a single touch.

Lucky for me it doesn't happen very often...

To provide my answer for your question, though: I'm immature about it. I stand there and take whatever they're dishing out, thinking the whole time of the one cutting comment that will either royally piss them off or actually make them go "wait, does that make ME the asshole?" Then I turn, calmly proclaim that comment, and walk away, giving them no chance of rebuttal (hence the immature part).

You can't engage with these types. They've got the entire Faux News playbook memorized (and after all, shouldn't they after watching it for so long?), and they'll suck you down into their spiral of delusion and stupidity quicker than you can say "logic FAIL." You'll start out talking about health care, and suddenly you're in a whirlpool of birth certificates and all manner of bullshit. Stir the pot...be the one to drive THEM fucking bonkers...after all, if you're successful, they'll be the ones to die early in life or simply give the whole political scene up as "bad for their health."

[Technodaoist]

62. thanks

Thanks for the good words.

The heat has been there - but what I noticed more was the pressure... that's what the spiral seems to be building inside. It begins around the diaphragm and spreads to my shoulders and head, finally ending in my hands.

Breathing relaxation techniques do work in this situation - you just have to remember (train yourself to where its almost reflex) to do them...

[Name removed]

61. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Technodaoist]

65. Thank you.

You're the second to accuse me of that. I understand why.

I think "Anger Issues" and "Acting Like An Asshole" go hand in hand. Or do you like stating the obvious and thinking you've proven a point? Perhaps I rushed to judgement at the post office, just as you are more than happy to label me troll based on nothing more than a feeling. Seems you also have issues with being both judgemental and an asshole.

Please read some of my other replies, and what few posts I had before the REST of the DU community gave me such a supportive and welcome response. I welcome their advice, sorry if I find you less than helpful.

[proteus_lives]

80. You're looking for a pat on the head.

And I'm not going to give it to you. Everyone has issues and bad days but you don't have the right to take it out on anyone else. Those people did nothing to you. But you felt the need to intimidate them. What was your body language like? How big are you? Are you an adult? Are you a man?

And I'll ask again, have you ever bitched in a line? They were griping at the Post Office, well my god they must be card-carrying members of the GOP.

Yeah I am being judgmental because you deserved to be judged on your childish behavior. You sound like someone who uses this issue as a excuse. If you need help, then get because if the behavior in the OP is a common thing, you're building up a bad karmic payback.

I have low tolerance for bullies and you acted like a bully.

P.S.
Less then a 100 posts in the time you've been a member, that seems fishy to me. I mean, why be a member if you're not going to post?

[Technodaoist]

82. Thanks

All your points are valid. Believe it or not, you're right. On every count. Even the issue as an excuse comment. Is that the pat on the head you are looking for?

I came here asking for advice. If that's what you call the 'pat on the head' I need, fine. Plenty of other posters (all but one, in fact) have been positive, supportive, and given good advice.

I accept the fact it was childish - did you even read any of the other replies I've given to anyone? You don't have to, but I have a low tolerance for wilfull ignorance, and you are ignorant of me and my situation.

Since you don't want to learn more about me by reading my replies, let me cut & paste one of them:


===============================
I'm fully aware the issue is me.

I'd like some credit for (OOPS SORRY - A PAT ON THE HEAD)
A) Stating I have (and have had) anger issues.
B) Trying to explain those anger issues in a way that wasn't "FUCKFUCKFUCK"
C) Stating I take responsibility for my actions.
D) Stating that blaming it on others or the situation is the "cowards way out".

Thanks for the "advice". I will stick with the

E) Therapist.
===============================

As for your 'smoking gun' question: DU is an excellent source for news and current events, I prefer reading to posting. If posting was a requirement to be here, I wouldn't be here.

Who the fuck are you? The thread police? Get Skinner in here if you're that sure, punkass.

[proteus_lives]

89. "Punkass" Good job working on those issues.

People have to be called on stuff like this. I'll admit, it presses my buttons because I grew up with people who act like that and I've spent too much time holding their hands. You don't need sympathy or hand-holding. You know what's wrong and you know how to fix it. I have sympathy for people with problems but when they start taking it out on other people, my sympathy for them ends.

You are the one who decided to react, you decided to let ruin your visit to the Post Office. You want to advice? Fine, from this moment on take control of your own emotions. A therapist can give you tools to improve your situation but you have to be the one who decides to use them. I have the read your responses to other people and it still sounds like you're giving this too much power over you. Since you took the time to post this on DU, you have no more excuses for rude behavior and self-destructive acts. I'm not reacting to your anger, I'm reacting towards your behavior. Something like that happens and makes you angry then post to DU, make fun of them when you're driving home, hit the batting cages, go for a long walk, listen to music, pat a dog. Some of those help me. I'm no angel, I get really angry sometimes but I do my best never to unload on the next person I see because I need to release it. Everytime I think I'm about to, I try to stop and think about the times I've been on the receiving end of someone else's bad day.

"As for your 'smoking gun' question: DU is an excellent source for news and current events, I prefer reading to posting. If posting was a requirement to be here, I wouldn't be here." I'll give you that one. I wasn't looking at it from that POV.

[Technodaoist]

93. Did you ever consider...

...that my attempt to talk about it is part of fixing it?

Your "tough love" approach, although based on valid points, is confrontational, and at its base is not far from how I deal with "pressed buttons". That may work some of the time, but I'd prefer and request a rational discussion about the actions I have taken ownership of. I'm not claiming to be an angel by any stretch either - and the event I described is the exception more than the rule - most times I can deal with, or dismiss, whatever angry energy I have with meditation, the inversion table, or a Guitar Hero marathon. Like I said in the post - I could claim it was a bad day or they caught me at the wrong time. That's what it felt like, but I know its not true and I cannot use that as an excuse. The event bothered me - I thought I was making good progress, and still do. I'd tell you why, but at this point you'd simply tell me to suck it up even more than I already have. So while I will do that, I'm also looking for practical ways to "control" emotions...

Thank you for the advice - It is good, and am glad you can see my POV on the posting...

If you still think I'm a troll, then fine. Think as you please.

[proteus_lives]

115. Yes and it's a positive step.

Perhaps I come on too strongly but I was raised in a confrontational household. I grew-up learning to hash problems out and to try not to lie to myself.

I don't know if I'd call it "tough love" I prefer Truman's "The Buck Stops Here." The confrontation you have with yourself is the most important one of all. It's not about "sucking it up" it's about accepting it and overcoming it.

I don't think you're a troll. I was too harsh about that.

[Technodaoist]

121. I appreciate...

...your patience and willingness to discuss it, even if we started at loggerheads.

And thank you for taking the time and effort re: my troll status. That was harder on me than I thought itd be... I was ready for the accusations of being an ass, being out of control, and any number of other things. Having my motives questioned seems to be a button as well...

Thank you for making me more aware of that.

[Technodaoist]

122. Oh and BTW

...love the avatar.

Fhtagn, fhtagn.

[proteus_lives]

131. Thanks.

I'm a die-hard Lovecraft and Howard fan. I love old sci-fi/horror/fantasy.

Ia!Ia!Ia! All hail Cthulhu! The Deep Ones will rise!

[next stop venus]

124. Don't pay attention to that guy...Whenever people have low post counts

they are automatically suspect. And just about 100% of the time, they have been here for years and have over 1000 posts, know they are immune, and don't want newbies to join in. The whole clique mentality, in other words...Very junior high, but whadda ya gonna do? I mean, WTF was that about joining and not posting more often? Maybe you are just interested in posting when you really feel like it and now you're getting accused of being a sleeper troll. Whatever. If you posted too many in a short time, you'd be suspect also, so there is definitely something else at play here.

One word about a therapist: I don't remember how long you said you've been going, but make sure that your therapist isn't just saying what you want to hear and not challenging you. I know people who have been in therapy for years and nothing ever seems to change.

[Technodaoist]

128. Thanks

I think we've resolved our differences on the troll issue...

I have been going to this guy for a while now, its true. But I think that's because I was a lot further gone than I was allowing myself to see. He has challenged me. He has encouraged me. I've had plenty of therapists that were full of crap, and although I don't claim to be one, I do research what they tell me... And this one is good. He lets me come to my own conclusions and expects me to check on his advice. I do, and have learned a lot re: psychology and philosophy while in his care - things you kind of "know" already, but haven't filled in the details on.

Thank you for the reply.

[ProgressiveFool]

130. took me about 4 years to get to 1000 posts, i.e. become credible /nt

[proteus_lives]

132. I thought about that.

Both he and you are right. I was looking at it with too narrow of a focus.

[Vickers]

63. You should post more often...and fuck the people calling you troll.

I'm gonna go back in a moment and alert on every one of their asses.

People need to stand up to the idiocy, be it overt or more clever.

[Technodaoist]

66. Thank you

I knew that trolls, counter-trolls, and troll accusations were inevitable... I appreciate the encouragement.

[Vickers]

69. Any time someone calls you a troll, or points out your low thread

count (despite you being here since 2007), alert on their ass.

If they can't counter something you've said without being civil, FUCK 'EM.

(And yes, I see the disconnect in my own statement...but I'm not *directing* it at anyone.)

[Technodaoist]

71. thanks again

[Control-Z]

64. I'm actually seething with anger

right now. The president's speech today, and a poster here on DU who actually opted his kids out of watching - I really want to say something mean, which is not like me at all. But DU rules are helping me keep my mouth (mostly) shut. :)

[itsrobert]

67. I wish I could get healthcare taken care of in 5 minutes

Sign me up.

[stellanoir]

70. Without going into a multitude of reasons I'm asking this. . .

Have you ever considered some training in martial arts or yoga or any sort of the more centering athletic disciplines?

Those physical activities often center and direct a person's energy especially when they have a boatload of it, which it sounds as though you do.

Talk therapy certainly helps with self awareness.

Martial arts or yoga training can help a person refine their responses for maximum impact.

The idiocy, lack of the ability for critical thinking, or enlightening, and humorous dialogue, are factors most of us are all too aware.

But it's all in the delivery.

Years ago when my then RW brother was doing his usual FAUX News rant about "socialism and tax and spend Dems. . ."

I had heard enough of it for far too long. I just smiled at him and said, "What you much prefer fascism and the way the Pubs loot and waste. . .?"

He started to turn around after then and I don't think he would have had I not sat on my response for long enough to deliver it in the form of a question with a smile.

Peace unto you over time.

[Technodaoist]

72. The things I've done...

I'm on a limited budget, so a more formal training class for something like martial arts is something I haven't really pursued.
Meditation has helped a lot.
Practicing breathing exercises helps a lot.
Physical activity helps a lot. (tougher when your'e hooked to a PC all day)
My Therapist has helped a lot. (good ones are hard to find)

Laughing like a madman and pointing helps a lot.


Thank you for the kind words.

[AllenVanAllen]

84. You're on a good path

toward freedom from your anger. The entire regimen you mentioned will serve you well in the long run. The great thing about mediation and awareness of the breath is that you can practice it anywhere. Anytime time you feel your anger coming on, you can counter it with breath awareness. I've been battling anger issues my entire adult life and that's what's helps me get by in a community that is 90% conservative. I try to be kind, to them and to myself. For the most part it's worked well for me.
There's an old saying I love,

"You are not punished for your anger...you are punished by your anger."


Great original post!

[Technodaoist]

85. Thank you for the advice and the compliment

I will take it to heart.

[stellanoir]

87. Well I'm pleased to learn that you meditate.

Sometimes conflicts become miraculously mollified when one shifts them on other planes first for sure.

I don't think there are many on the planet that wouldn't wish we could all respond most effectively in the moment rather than continually honing our 20/20 hindsight. But heck, we can't all be zen masters or at least we apparently can't until we endure a bit more of this thoroughly annoying purge of all this heinously tiresome polarization. It's ultimately such a predictable yawn fest really.

Something I've been typing for decades. . .

"The first law of energetics is that conflicts do not occur in the absence of mutually shared culpability, be it karmic or otherwise. It ideally only exists to ultimately raise the consciousness of all the parties involved."

If one believes in karma, then one can see patterns of people swinging back and forth from the archetypal persecutor, to the archetypal victim, often spending lifetimes atoning as a victim largely out of guilt for a relatively short stint of inflation abusing power as a persecutor, at odds with the inherent humanity that resides deep within the vast majority of us."

Tai Chi masters know well how to behave like the selectively permeable cell walls in the plant world. They can choose what energies are worthy of their interactions, and they are able to deflect the rest.

You don't really need a whole lot of dough or take formal courses to learn about anything these days. There are all sorts of old videos and CD's kicking around in cut out bins of close out stores and flea markets about Martial Arts and yoga. Maybe consider going on a casual search or something.
search

From another tradition, here is something I posted and sent wildly a while ago. I thought it might resonate with you and hope it does.

Since Arabic languages are far more multi leveled and somewhat more poetic than Greek, Latin, and English, I've long been intrigued by the scholars who are fluent in Hebrew and Aramaic who translate the verses directly into English.

The etymology they present is really quite fascinating.

The Aramaic root of the word "enemies" is a "tangled knot."

The Aramaic root of the word "evil" means "unripe."

That suggests something that requires more sunlight (aka consciousness), nourishment, water (aka emotional support), and time (patience), though I've heard no one else elucidate it as such, but most metaphysicians don't live on farms. That perspective sure beats all the tiresomely unenlightened dualistic shadow projection that is bandied about so much these days.

"Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth" translated directly becomes "Blessed are those who soften their hearts (emotional rigidity) because they are open to the full powers of nature."

"Love thine enemies" was translated by Neal Douglas-Klotz. http://www.abwoon.com/ He was a guest on the visionary activist show a while ago. http://www.kpfa.org/archives/index.php?arch=24231 It's well worth a listen.

The host is a colleague of mine and she described his interpretation as "a vast instruction manual of great mystery."

"Love thine enemies" = "Love your enemies. From a hidden place, unite with your enemies from the inside. Fill the inner void. That makes them swell outwardly and fall out of rhythm, instead of progressing step by step. They stop and start harshly out of time. Bring yourself back into rhythm within. Find the moment that meets with theirs', like two lovers creating life from the dust. Do this work in secret. This kind of love creates. It does not emote."

on edit- Here's a quickie from a third tradition that was just posted elsewhere. . .

http://www.shiftoftheages.com/

best again

[paulsby]

75. i can't even imagine getting upset

because somebody had different political views than me. so, to put it briefly, it's quite easy to do it.

not everybody agrees with me, and there are lots of people with lots of different views out there.

i have seen no evidence that repubs or libs are any smarter or stupider than dems. i just see it as different parsing of the evidence, and different approaches.

i just don't get how you could get angry cause somebody made a snarky comment about govt. efficiency.

as a govt. employee myself, fwiw, i know damn well that govt. is remarkably inefficient, but the USPS does a pretty good job.

[struggle4progress]

76. Post office service really has deteriorated since Republicans began to demand it pay for itself

a few decades back. Lay-offs and speed-ups have been hard on the postal workers. I think we should start subsidizing it again

[Mythbuster]

77. Very Vivid!

"At this point I can feel it coming on... If you don't have anger issues, you may not know what I mean.... Its hard to describe - but it feels like a spiral of thoughts and energy that both tears you down and builds to an unending, wrath-of-GOD crescendo."

I get that kind of rush that comes over me in similar settings, while I'm physically very passive, verbally, I'm not so lucky. My mother has laughed at me for many years every time she's been present when this happens... she says my ears "turn bright red!" :grr: I'm certain my blood pressure spikes to new uncharted territory during these events, which will likely be how I'll leave this insane planet.

[question everything]

78. Keep up appearance

and than come to DU and spill it over. You will find a sympathetic audience.

On the other hand, I wish that you attended some of these Town Hall meetings - they could have used someone like you.

This is the benefit of the anonymity on the Internet. You can come to DU, or to a RW board and just say exactly what's on your mind.

[Maru Kitteh]

79. All I can truthfully tell you is, it's a struggle. My daughter had to drag me away from the townhall

here. I was getting INTO it with some stupid elderly women in front of the building after it was all over. I made some very good points and left them utterly without rejoinder before I left though.

[Juche]

83. The only time I really get angry is due to politics

I used to have anger issues like you. What helped me was nutrition (omega 3s, various vitamins and minerals, etc), meditation, self acceptance, therapy, etc. They all played a role and it added up. PM me if you want more info on the subject.

Anyway, the only time I really get mad nowadays is due to politics. I think the reason it enrages me so much is because I know those people can affect my fate. If the wingnuts had their own country, I couldn't give a shit. In fact I'd love to watch them self destruct. If we could take all the dems and liberals out of the deep south, fill it with wingnuts and put Sarah Palin in charge as president, I'd love that. Within 10 years those morons would be a dysfunctional idiocracy on par with a third world country.

Sadly that is not the case. I suffer from wingnut stupidity. Their misinformation and backwards ideology is why I don't have health care. I hate being dependent on or submissive to people who are stupid.

[Technodaoist]

86. Yes.

It's not that they vote against their own self-interest - it's against mine too... perhaps that's selfish of me, but I'm not claiming to be a saint.

[Habibi]

95. I think you did just fine!

I maybe would've skipped the "fucking break" part, but the rest--why not express your opinion as others felt free to express theirs?

[onestepforward]

90. Although I don't always succeed, I try not to get angry.

Anger is a temporary "power" emotion, but it is very short-lived and leaves destruction in its wake. What motivates me at not getting angry is knowing that its power is only temporary and it severely narrows my thought. The more relaxed and balanced I feel, the more I can have a much wider and more clear view of the world, which I highly value. I'm still working on it myself. Best wishes to you on your journey. :)

[janx]

91. Good point! I tend to agree, yet while we all get angry from time

to time, we don't have to let it consume us so much that it controls our behavior or our ability to be civil. That doesn't mean we have to be unprincipled or bland, but we can be civil and resolute at the same time. :hi:

[onestepforward]

94. Yes, civil and resolute at the same time!

Definitely hard to achieve at times, but worth striving toward. :hi:

[bobbolink]

96. Here's something that works for me.....l. dunno if it will for you.

I completely understand the anger and understand where it comes from.

What I've found is that I feel much better in a situation such as that if I can respond to the positive rather than the negative.

By that I mean.... rather than dealing with the scripted idiots, I talk to the workers, and commend them on a job well done, and how much it is appreciated. I've spoken to some of these postal workers, and they are LIVID at the insinuations that they are doing a lousy job! They are on our side, and we can reach out to them,, and solidify that connection.

Besides, it really pisses off the RW idiots when we do that! :rofl:

[NuttyFluffers]

97. i usually talk loudly about my experiences overseas, and how USPS is often better

finishing up with a "American's are so spoiled they don't know how good they often got it from their gov't programs"

now, i will lay a positive and negative assessment of USPS and other countries' mail (or other similar gov't experience), but often i punctuate that we really do have nice advantages that we shouldn't overlook just because we don't know any better. since a lot of these people don't travel much, they have no real reference to criticize -- and they might just learn something.

travel should be mandatory i think; it makes people more well rounded in its assessment of services around the world.

[BillDU]

98. How do I do it?

I studied Nuero Linguistic Programming techniques and employ them to turn my emotions on and off like a faucet. Freed from my own self induced emotional tyranny I can discuss facts with people who may appreciate them. However Humans are Humans, pigs are pigs and skunks are skunks. A pig will never appreciate a diamond I may have and so I never share my diamonds with pigs. Skunks will never appreciate a rose I may have and so I never share my roses with skunks. On a web forum, somewhere out there, may be at least one person who appreciates or gets something positive out of what I say and so that one person makes sharing a fact with, worthwhile.

[Vickers]

99. "Skunks will never appreciate a rose"

You need to rewatch Bambi.

:thumbsup:

[BillDU]

100. You need to rewatch Bambi

Bambi is a fictional animation..
I was discussing the real world.

[Vickers]

101. "Bambi is a fictional animation.."

As opposed to...?

:shrug:

Or are you from the Department of Redundancy Department?

:rofl:

Welcome to DU! Enjoy your stay!

:hi:

[Technodaoist]

108. I don't know much...

...about Neuro Linguistic Programming. Thank you for the suggestion, and I will be researching this for myself...

[Solomon]

102. Us black people are used to throttling that kind of anger on an

almost daily basis.

[Technodaoist]

107. I have no idea how to respond...

...and have no frame of reference.

Racism is ignorance raised to a lifestyle - and as has come out in other replies, its wilfull ignorance that offends and angers me.

Thank you, Solomon. You give me another perspective, and that helps. More than you may think.

[AspenRose]

114. Which might have something to do with health stats and inequality

Heart attacks, hypertension, stroke, etc.

Not just due to lack of equal access to quality care, but also pent-up frustration over decades of dealing with racism and its ill effects.

[Festivito]

104. Good. Speak up. Try funnies.

I asked a guy running for office if he could give me more services with less tax. And, all he did was smile at me!

Like a Canadian health system where you have to wait FOUR WEEKS for an operation, here we can be scheduled for that same operation in only one month.

Here I can get over a cold in a week, in Canada, I hear it can take seven days.

Perhaps I have anger management issues, but I prefer the word poignant.

[Technodaoist]

110. Well done.

Good suggestions, and definitely something I would do or say when able. There are times when the mental judo works and I feel as if I'm almost dodging or using the anger against itself...

But other times it's that initial truck hitting me in the gut and the buildup that follows that I have trouble with.

Thank you for the suggestions.

[ellie]

105. I don't

I am constantly mouting off to ignorant strangers. Especially old people who are in such a hurry. I ask them "Where are you going so fast?" All I get is blank stares.

You can't keep it in or it will kill you.

[MindPilot]

119. I hear ya...

Why is it that old people always seem to be the most impatient ones?

Your comment reminded me of when I was a tech at a Ford dealer. I was adjusting the carburetor on this older lady's car; the procedure to get the adjustment right called for making an incremental change in the setting, and then waiting for at least 60 seconds for the on-board computer to recalibrate before attempting to change it again. I already explained this once to her the first time she complained about me wandering off to do something else while working on her car.

At one point she walked into the shop area where customers are not supposed to be and screamed "WILL YOU HURRY UP?!" I turned and said "What's the matter? You afraid you're gonna die before I finish?" She turned and walked off.

A few minutes later the service manager came back and I thought for sure I was fired. He wrote something on the repair order and said "roll it". I looked and he had written "Customer refuses to allow sufficient time to complete repairs. No charge. No guarantee."

[ensho]

106. I usually lol and then spit the truth at them. they can tell I'm pissed

I can see it must be very hard to control a rage kind of anger. you did good. hugs.

[Technodaoist]

111. Thank you

I needed that :)

[Fleshdancer]

109. They want more post office employees to make the line go faster but they don't want to pay for it

Unfortunately people like this will always find a reason to bitch about the post office because it's an easy target. Most people don't take the time to defend the workers the way you did.

What kills me is that these same idiots wait just as long at the UPS or FedEx office and longer at the grocery store, pharmacy, auto repair shops, etc without complaint. The moment they need to reliably send a package from one end of the country to the other at a fraction of the cost of private carriers, suddenly their time is so fucking precious that every second is wasted. Fuck 'em.

[Technodaoist]

112. and its those underlying contradictions

...and hypocrisies that drive the anger most. Or more rightly their ignorance of them.

And I know that the things that anger us in others are truly rooted in ourselves. It makes me wonder just how powerful my own blinders are... and that frightens me.

[Kaleva]

113. Everybody is stupid & shortsighted in some fashion.

I don't bother trying to spoon feed others out in public nor do I hang out at forums where the general thinking is far removed from my own.

Many, if not most, people have firm opinions on various issues and there's little to nothing that can be said that would cause them to change their minds.

[Name removed]

117. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Technodaoist]

126. I'm in CMH...

Columbus, OH.

A blue city surrounded by a red state - don't let Obama's electoral victory here fool you.

So in a way, there are times I feel pulled in all different directions... You can be having an enlightening, civil, enjoyable conversation with a stranger one moment - and a shout-fest with someone who thinks fascism and communism are the same thing during the next... I never know what I'm going to get.

Its that initial reaction that I have so much trouble with. If I can get past that, its smooth sailing.

[Soylent Brice]

120. never let them get away with shit.

you let them run their mouths and they'll continue spouting bullshit. and most people won't say shit just to avoid confrontation.

i'd gladly take a beating publicly to make a point publicly.

welcome to DU.

[ProgressiveFool]

125. your post could describe me pretty well, too

I think I just realized at some point that there's nothing I can do to change or open minds in the few minutes I share with these people waiting in line. I have a hard enough time trying to get the conservatives in my life to see sense.

They don't want to. They like living in their fantasy world. They can't debate liberals because they have no true idea of what we stand for; they like to believe in the caricatures that Rush/Hannity/Beck push on them. They assume I must be anti-gun, anti-capitalist, pro-union, want a hand-out from the government, etc.

I tried to tell them that no, I believe in hard work and individuality, that these are in fact American values, not exclusively right or left, but they are more comfortable believing that I am somehow not American because that is what they're told.

I applaud you for taking the time to try to educate people, even if it was ultimately fruitless, and led only to bad vibes. I think conservatives need to know we're angry, because our representatives aren't doing it - they just roll over and take it because they feel they have no support.

By the way, I also very much appreciated your writing style. You should find a good place to use it.

[fascisthunter]

127. hey man, welcome to DU

we need more folks like you to come forward and gives us all a hand. You sound like many folks I have grown up with. The good ones, that is...

[TK421]

133. Ever had someone tell you that anger management sessions would do you good? I have

and it pisses me off to no end. You are very much entitled to those feelings, and having been the guy behind the desk, counter whatever I can vouch for pretty much everything you said. It does suck, I have toned down quite a bit over the last ten years or so...before that I would have thought about choking people. How do I prevent myself from doing that? Good question...I'm not sure. I guess it's just not worth the elevation in blood pressure; stress is a killer.