The ego epidemic: How more and more of us women have an inflated sense of our own fabulousness

[keep_it_real]

By Lucy Taylor

Us women are more egocentric and narcissistic than we ever used to be, according to extensive research by two leading psychologists.

More of us have huge expectations of ourselves, our lives and everyone in them. We think the universe resolves around us, with a deluded sense of our own fabulousness, and believe we are cleverer, more talented and more attractive than we actually are.

We have trouble accepting criticism and extending empathy because we are so preoccupied with ourselves.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1213212/The-ego-epidemic-more-inflated-sense-fabulousness.html#ixzz0RE9iscUO

[BlooInBloo]

1. I might be dumb, but I'm not stupid. I would never, ever tell a woman that.

[Oregone]

2. Afraid to hurt their egos?

[BlooInBloo]

11. Nope. Afraid of hurting my face.

[Bucky]

3. Shouldn't that be "we women"? I mean, I know the Brits invented English and what all

but you'd still think they have to use it properly. Bell invented the telephone, but it's not like that makes it okay for him to make prank phone calls. (Unless you count "Watson, come in here, I need you!" which was quite the cause for a mean spirited laugh around the office back in 1876, but I digress).

Anyway, in my view most women are fabulous.

[Bucky]

5. Wait! Maybe it's a typo. Maybe she meant to write "U.S. woman are more egocentric and narcissistic"

It's true, ya buncha swell-heads!

[Tangerine LaBamba]

8. You know what?

I'll bet that's it.

In either event, the whole thing is bullshit............

[Tangerine LaBamba]

6. No, the language is correct -

grammatically, the headline is correct.

But the thesis of the article is nonsense.............................

[Bucky]

19. The first sentence in the article is "Us women are..." So no, it's not correct

Us is an object, not a subject.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

22. OH, you're talking about the first sentence in the article -

you didn't say that in your post. I thought you were addressing the headline.

You're right about the first sentence being incorrect, yes.

Gotta be specific with your post, my friend - two different things, headline and first sentence....................................

[Name removed]

Deleted sub-thread

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[bettyellen]

54. dupe

[Name removed]

12. Deleted sub-thread

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[muriel_volestrangler]

69. Oops

Never mind. I misread what you were refering to as well.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

4. What total, total bullshit -

I just read the article. It quotes "American research," without attributing anything else to this crap - no names, no organizations, just "American research," citing a "rise in narcissism in American woman, by 67 percent."

This is someone's idea of a joke. A very bad and nasty joke.

The anecdotes in this article all center around dating and marriage as being the proper goals for women to achieve, and if women don't especially want those things are part of their lives, they are deemed to be "narcissistic."

Interesting that this is published in the UK - has it found a home yet in the United States, where all these damaged women supposedly dwell?

Crap.............................

[Confusious]

40. Did you read the article?

If these women didn't want to date, then they wouldn't have shown up at a "dating service". They are deemed Narcissistic because they react so badly when rejected.

Normal people would be upset, and say "that's the way it goes". These people get downright FURIOUS.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

53. I read the article -

the anecdotes are unsubstantiated - they might just as easily be fictional, for all the "research" attributed.

I don't believe anything in that article - critical thinking demands that no one give credence to something called "American research."

Use your head, for heaven's sake. It's fiction...............

[Z_I_Peevey]

70. The researchers cited co-authored a book,

"The Narcissism Epidemic," which I am currently reading.

The authors claim a widespread increase in narcissim in U.S. culture--male and female, young and old, etc. The book doesn't focus on women in particular, although perhaps one of their studies did.

This article is not representative of what the authors say in their book.

[unpossibles]

7. I think some of this is over-blown

in other words, I don't think it's so horrible for people to strive to be the best they can be, etc., but a little realism would go a long way.

Although also, I have to wonder if the author of that article has met my ex....

EDIT:
almost forgot to add: the inherent sexism in these kinds of reports, especially as found in the comments section is ridiculous.

[seabeyond]

9. and this is different from male ego ..... how? nt

[unpossibles]

20. bingo!

That seemed to be the point of the article, or at least the half or so I read. I know far more men who are completely unrealistic, both in how awesome they are (lol), but in how they match up to potential dates and worse, what they expect, and this is nothing new.

Most men demand women shave their bodies and many expect women to be fit and supportive, but how many themselves are in great shape or know how to groom well? I know guys who I would say are in the 2 to 3 range and they will seriously trying to ask out women in the 7 to 8 range, if that makes sense, and I am not just saying in terms of physical attractiveness either.

blech. Regardless, this is all just bad generalization, including what I wrote above. One thing, however; I do know many narcissistic people (men and women) who are also very insecure once you get past their barrier. Perhaps this is what's really going on, since I've noticed the trend of many men and women succumbing to some artificial beauty standards as well.

I don't know. I'll go back to just saying "blech" I think.

[DKRC]

28. Watching too many of the hot wife/fat husband sitcoms

Couldn't watch those even when we still watched TV. Pushing the any man is better than no man myth.
What malarky. :rofl:

From the article it sounds like the balance has tipped against that desperate mindset. These women are coming out with their own set of expectations that don't include pretending to be fascinated by every word out of their dates mouth, or sitting by the phone in hopes he'll call.
Good god the horrors of women with self-esteem. :scared:

[Gwendolyn]

48. The article isn't about pushing the any man is better than no man myth.

It's the opposite. It's a rather disjointed musing about the no man is good enough ideal.

It's about people actively looking for someone and how it's become prevalent amongst women to go out with a shopping list. The trouble is, while some expect to shop at Bergdorf's, they themselves are basically JC Penney. It's partially a function of our narcissistic society, partially the fact that women are now more financially independent, mixed with the cultural explosion of relying on dating services like e-harmony, etc... in order to meet people. The sense of being entitled to Bergdorf's quality of people has traditionally been the realm of JC Penney men, but there's growing evidence, according to the article, that when given the opportunity some women behave just like them. If you've ever met such women (I come into contact with quite a few) it's quite true that there's nothing more endearing about the obnoxiousness when it's exhibited by women.

[DKRC]

55. The myth & TV comment

was in response to Unpossibles statement:

..snip..

Most men demand women shave their bodies and many expect women to be fit and supportive, but how many themselves are in great shape or know how to groom well? I know guys who I would say are in the 2 to 3 range and they will seriously trying to ask out women in the 7 to 8 range, if that makes sense, and I am not just saying in terms of physical attractiveness either..

..snip..

Not about the article.

It would have been clearer if I'd put my comments about the article in a separate response directly to the OP.
Sorry for the confusion.

[Gwendolyn]

62. Ah, no, my mistake! Should have read more closely!

:hi:

But was also commenting on your last sentence. A number of my clients have been these exact women, and am not sure I would call it self-confidence. More like delusion. If only all the delusional men and women were forced to mate, it would be so much easier for normal people on the dating scene to find each other.

[lumberjack_jeff]

25. Not at all. Would you expect that observation to be controversial?

Young men clearly are egocentric with a sense of self-respect that lags their self-esteem.

It's only controversial when you suggest that this phenomenon is at work in both genders.

[seabeyond]

27. firstly tired, secondly sick, so could be me.... but WHAT?, lol

so, "Would you expect that observation to be controversial?"..... only controversial to suggest both genders???????

[lumberjack_jeff]

33. Young men are mostly egocentric entitled assholes.

Young women are mostly egocentric entitled assholes.

I'm not going to catch hell for stereotyping men.

[seabeyond]

35. personally

i think we can say we have a nation of.... both gender, regardless of age. thanks for clarification. was curious.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

10. I don't exactly agree

I do think there is more isolation and competition among human beings in the U.S. (less in the U.K.) so we are in our own little lonely, make-believe worlds, but not out of choice, just out of isolation.

However, in the U.S., I look around and have come to believe that women (and girls) feel LESS ATTRACTIVE THAN EVER.

Why do I say this? I say this because I see women (and younger and younger girls) resort to endless plastic surgery, hair dye, hair extensions, more beauty treatments, anorexia, states of undress, designer clothing, sexting, endless dieting, sexual dances in clubs and public area, anything to get some attention or to feel some sort of self-worth.

I think if women (and girls) were feeling more egocentric, proud and self-centered these days, women and girls would HARDLY be needing to mutilate themselves and act like clowns.

Sometimes I think all women and girls need these days is a red rubber nose and big floppy shoes.

Sad.

[whoneedstickets]

13. Yeah! Thats why so many great men have to seek overseas mail-order brides!

Or is it because they are anti-social right-wing losers?

[waiting for hope]

14. Lucy Taylor needs to step away from the mirror -

These are the titles to her articles:

The price of being nice: How going out of your way to help others can seriously damage your health

Why women need male friends (if you can stop sex getting in the way)

What IS it about women that makes us all such easy prey for... ENVY

Is it better to be alone than to compromise? LUCY TAYLOR, 38, says she's settling for Mr Not Quite Right

I think what she said in her article could be said of how man behave .. and so what. Read the whole article and then look again at the last article title .. do ya think she self projects a bit? :rofl:

[seabeyond]

17. i dont wanna read article. already read too much, lol. wink. nt

[Confusious]

39. I don't see projecting here

"So what?"

Narcissists are also psychotic. They don't care about other people, and only see them as tools to use. More Narcissists is worrying.

If she was a Narcissist, then she wouldn't be settling for Mr. not quite right.

Try again.

[Sebastian Doyle]

59. Well, she writes for a Murdoch publication, if that's any clue.

I don't know Lucy Taylor from Adam (er, Eve, I guess would work better for this example) but if she's anything like the women who work for FAUX Noize, then that pretty much tells you why she was hired. And it wasn't for journalistic integrity, or advocating feminist values.

[EmilyAnne]

15. Its probably true about other women, but it doesn't apply to me.

I'm special.

:hide:

[seabeyond]

18. ba hahahah. ya. i am right there withya. nt

[progressivebydesign]

57. LOL.. i love it! n/t

[Starry Messenger]

16. Pfft.

Tabloid tripe.

[Rex]

21. You women

are fabulous, I don't care what she says. :)

[FirstLight]

23. my first response is "HELL YEA"

It's about time!

Sorry, but if you think of the percentage of single moms in America, you may see that self worth and an inflated ego are a survival mechanism... and are well deserverd. At least in MY corner of reality...

I have yet to find ANY man who can take on the responsibilities that I have had to bear after the other slacker/losers left - I manage a house, look for freelance work, hold down multiple jobs and go to school, cook, clean, love my kidlets and help them with baths and homework and keep my teen out of trouble...


After years of domestic violence and self sabotage, I finally have accepted and started to LIVE like I AM as great as all that!
so THERE!

[seabeyond]

24. except i have two brothers that are the ones raising the kids and their slacker/loser

left....

well

divorce and mothers unable/unwilling to be a parent.

so i really hate seeing this made a gender issue.

met a man yesterday raising two twin boys. mother left immediately after having them and he hasnt heard from her in 11 yrs

but

pat you on the back for the kick ass job you do

[Confusious]

41. There's a difference between self-centered and Narcissism

Narcissists are also psychotic. They don't care about other people and see them as tools to be used.

[pnwmom]

26. It sounds to me as if many of the men and women in the article are making

the same kinds of mistakes.

One guy says:

'I had been hoping to meet someone who was quite nice-looking, with a good personality, someone to go for dinner and to the cinema and have a decent conversation with. But I'm left feeling that this isn't what women are looking for.

'It's as if they want to be swept off their feet right from the first date, as if they're waiting for someone like Brad Pitt or George Clooney. They're not interested in a regular, normal, decent guy. That's not good enough for them.


____________

Is he himself interested in a "regular, normal, decent" woman? No, he wants one who is "quite nice-looking." (And with a good personality, etc.)

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1213212/The-ego-epidemic-more-inflated-sense-fabulousness.html#ixzz0RESE7MQW

[Confusious]

42. Did you get his scale?

Do you expect him to say "someone with a face like a horses ass, and as dumb as a rock"?

I'd like someone quite-nice looking, with a good personality, but do you even know what that means?

[Gwendolyn]

29. I actually agree with a lot of what's written in this article.

We have become a narcissistic, shallow, consumer, celebrity worshipping society. Many women do behave as though they are characters from Sex and the City, probably the whiniest, most annoying show ever created! Relentless self-centeredness matched only by the underlying angst. (The Kim Cattrall character aside. She was excellent.)

But all this means is that women have caught up to men in the area of thinking they're all that, when they're not.

[krabigirl]

37. I agree with you. (and about Kim Cattrall's character, too.)

Her character was hilarious.

[Gwendolyn]

49. After about the first three episodes, she was the only one worth watching for.

:) I think some of people on this thread don't really understand what the article is about.

[Le Taz Hot]

30. Well then, we dammed well better

get back in our place, then, hadn't we? :eyes: Seriously, I think my sig line addresses this adequately.

P.S.: Btw, I AM fabulous, thank you! :evilgrin:

[seabeyond]

32. actually, i am thinking this is exactly the agenda of the past decade.

cant get us there with being the submissive woman today.... but working their ass off to get us there in other ways.

[Toucano]

31. Interesting read.

To the extent that it may be true or some or many, I would think the number of women with low self-esteem and poor self-image dwarfs this "trend".

[lapislzi]

34. Please tell me this is satire.

"Us" women? A national fish wrap can't be bothered to open an article with correct grammar.

:puke:

[raccoon]

36. Either that, or it's crap. nt

[distantearlywarning]

38. It's not just women these days, sadly.

A lot of people out there think they're God's gift to the world. x(

[Nikki Stone1]

43. You mean (gasp) we've finally become MEN?

LOL!!!

:rofl:

[Gman2]

44. A real shame, I dont like men much. Women have become not worth knowing.

[seabeyond]

52. point. the really sad thing. they state it is narcissism, they state it is confidence, but

reality

lack of.

or living for ego. which needs a continued feeding of worth

[Gman2]

45. A real shame, I dont like men much. Women have become not worth knowing.

[Ex Lurker]

46. I wish my girlfriend's ego was MORE inflated

her abusive ex did a number on her sense of self-worth, and she needs constant reassurance that she is indeed fabulous. Which I'm glad to do, but I wonder if she really believes me.

[Lone_Star_Dem]

47. You should see what Jean Twenge and Keith Campbell had to say about men, too

Their book The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement is about the difference between narcissism and self-confidence and the cultural impacts the current rise of narcissism has on the US.

Other than the all to brief coverage of Prof. Twenge and Campbell, the rest of the article is typical Daily Mail drivel.

[Skidmore]

50. Keerist....

I'd be talking about how those manifestations of fabulousness, complete with expensive designer clothing and make-up and all the ni-n-tuck, are all statements of low self-esteem and social insecurity and the 'tude is a front for a lot of pain and anxiety in a culture where a beautiful woman is expected to be shaped like a cypher and look like a Barbie doll.

This person needs to take a look around and note how MOST women really look. Are you less than 5'10", weight higher than recommended? How's your skin? Does your hair look shiny and float on the wind and never have split ends? Can you afford your haircut, let alone all the color and products and procedures to get it looking like the mane of a Hollywood starlet? Can you afford to smell like tuberose, rare orchids and whatever the current scent fad is? Can you afford to "layer" enough so you waft when you walk down the street? Can you tolerate 4"+ spikes after working all day on your feet or at two jobs or the ones with the red soles? DO you have the energy for all of this fabulousness marketed in shiny gilt packaging? How many walk-in closets do you have? Can you afford spa visits to bolster your sense of fabulousness?

Keerist. I would wager that all the angst about fabulousness we read about is generated by media people who rely on their need for it to keep a job.

[seabeyond]

51. there you go. a never ending conditioning. nt

[progressivebydesign]

58. I just don't think people realize how many women out there have 100s of shoes...

have taken over all the closets in the house for their stuff, have botox injections at age 30, own thousands of dollars in purses, etc. etc. etc. They spend $300.00 to get their hair done, have the fake tan, etc. Now these are not rich women.. these are office workers, sales managers, and students.

They've been sold this ideal that is just not real, and they'll spend thousands of dollars to try to achieve it. Sadly, they only look like twisted mannequins, with little inner beauty. The Ad industry has destroyed us...

[progressivebydesign]

56. couldn't agree more. I've been so turned off at women's art gatherings and such..

..because I don't run around calling myself a "goddess." And let's not EVEN get into the stupid tiara shit! It's starting at an early age, with the tweens and teens taking pic after pic of themselves... Ladies. You aren't queens, we are women. And kiddies? You aren't famous, you're on an internet site with millions of other pics of kids that look exactly the way you do.

Time for a big ol' dose of "get over yourself!"

Can you tell that I hate it?

[seabeyond]

61. this is what we are now conditioning them, all parts of our society, their worth is.

they are not going ot be able to just "get over" themselves, unless there are actually adults helping them to balance, ground and see beyond what they are being fed.

we create.

[RagAss]

60. ...it all started with the fake tits.

[frogmarch]

63. Well, that lets my sis-in-law out.

As I type this, she is cleaning the inside of her church with a mop and bucket (a vacuum where there's carpeting) Tid-E-Bowl and a brush, dust cloths and various pew polishes. This, after having cooked three meals today for her farm family and tending her huge vegetable garden. She is very humble and knows her place, unlike us fabulous, clever, talented, beautiful, albeit uppity, women.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

64. Blanket statements don't work.

I don't take any article seriously that says "all men" or "all women".

Doesn't work that way.

How about all the women who are insecure and have low self-esteem because they spend all their time and money getting beauty treatments, spa treatments, buying clothes and shoes, etc. and STILL feel like their worth is only measured by their appearance, and they are not thin enough?

That is the flip side of this article.

It's all about consumption. If you are happy with yourself you won't spend tons of money on skin care, hair products, shoes, clothes, etc. The advertisers encourage insecurity and fear of competition (to get that special man's attention).

And if you do think you're wonderful, you may spend lots of money because "you deserve it".

Watch the Beeb documentary, "The Century of the Self" for more information.

Edward Bernays took his uncle Sigmund Freud's work and used it to create modern PR and advertising. He used the basic drives of people and used them in advertising to sell stuff.

[seabeyond]

65. you are spot on. nt

[redqueen]

66. Great... more tabliod idiocy.

:eyes:

[redqueen]

67. dupe

[cali]

68. The Daily Mail is a dung heap of a rag and this is a stupid article

[Nuclear Unicorn]

71. Hello, my name is Angie

and I am one of millions of women in America dealing with the condition known as Fabulousness.

*looks at other camera*

Fabulousness strikes one in 3 American women and its symptoms are often manifest from an early age as an instinctive ability to excel, be one's true self and an impeccable sense of tase. And while I have learned to live with fabulousness every day of my life many other women have not.

*rises from bar stool, walks to camera*

So many more women spend every day in drab lives of quiet desperation with dead-end relationships, tedious jobs and loose-fitting earth tones.

But you can help.

With your donation--

*points at camera*

--starting at only $50 a day you too can help a woman suffering from the hidden symptoms of Fabulousness, helping her to become the radiant goddess she was always meant to be.

So won't you please--please--give generously to the Society for the Treatment of Unrealized Female Fabulousness or call the number on your screen:

*flashing key*

1-800-99-STUFF

Thank-you and remember: together we can make fabulousness something every woman will be able to cope with.