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(SATIRE)
Extravaganza to Air Thanksgiving Weekend
By Pedro Nussbaum, September 17, 2009
Internet website The Desperate Blogger today announced plans to sponsor a telethon which will benefit the nation’s private health insurers.
“The insurers truly want a competitive marketplace,” according to site publisher Lloyd Woltz, “They’re looking neither for an easy way to avoid restrictive regulations nor a means of making it nearly impossible for the average consumer to challenge their denial of claims, it’s just that the alternative is too expensive. To incorporate in the as many as 49 states plus the District of Columbia in which they currently are not incorporated could cost many close to $8500. That’s more of a burden than they should be asked to bear, and once the public is made aware, I’m confident they’ll want to help.”
According to Woltz only a handful of “truly visionary” politicians, such as Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty, truly understand the advantage of allowing private health insurers to “go national”, as opposed to having a public insurance option where there is currently little or no competition.
“Pawlenty is so committed to the people of his state, and sees the evils of the public option so clearly, that he would be willing not only to invoke the Tenth Amendment to block a public option from being allowed in his state, but would also be willing to let in private insurers, incorporated elsewhere, which his state cannot regulate and from which they can’t collect taxes. Does that sound like a presidential candidate to you? No sir, that’s what I call a governor.”
If the telethon is the success he expects, Woltz believes that no other governor will be forced to show Pawlenty’s courage. “With enough support, it’s really possible that everyone can have what they want. The insurers can compete on a state by state basis, bound by each state’s individual laws, regulations, and consumer protection mechanisms, and the states themselves won’t have to sacrifice tax revenues in order to bring a choice of quality insurance products to their citizens. Everyone will be happy.”
The telethon is tentatively scheduled for Thanksgiving weekend to coincide with the American tradition of families coming together to give thanks for the blessings in their lives, “not the least of which,” according to Mr. Woltz, “is their health insurance industry.”
The Desperate Blogger is currently seeking co-sponsors for the event, as well as media outlets and entertainers. Any parties interested in participating or contributing in any way are urged to contact telethon@TheDesperateBlogger.com.
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