I am a racist.

[ejbrush]

I don't want to be. I don't act out, I don't speak ill of people or tell foul jokes or behave rudely to others. I know the evil racism is, what it causes people to do, the total illogical basis of it. The irony of my being 1/4 Native American and the closest thing to a minority my high school ever had is not lost.

Yet, in the far back of my mind, where the selfishness and lust and gluttony come from, it lives.

I am consious of my interal dialog and snap judegemnts when I meet folks who aren't cookie-cutter Up Nort' Wisconsinites, which pretty much encompasses everyone with a trace of menalin in their skin. I wasn't born this way, but picked up all the subtle and not-so-subtle cues from parents, grandparents, teachers and TV.

I know what racism would look like, if I let it out, if I let it become my personality. It would look like a teabagger, the paranoid doofus with the sign wanting his country back, it would look like Glen Fucking Beck. Never fool yourself into thinking these people can be reformed. I know better, I believe in *science*, and still my little simian brain flashes messages that I choose to ignore.

The Others, the 'baggers and their ilk, are lazy.

Here's the thing. I work at killing it. I push it down. I tell myself that it is dumb, that it is evil, that the asshole in line ahead of me is an asshole because he's, well, an asshole, and would be no matter what. I make the effort. If I have children, they will be better persons than I, I will make sure of it.

Going to go have dinner and unwind, bash me senseless at your own leisure.

[BuyingThyme]

1. I hate you.

[GaYellowDawg]

55. Why would you say that?

That seems like a completely shitheaded thing to say.

[BuyingThyme]

106. Just ironic absurdity.

[stuball111]

69. I hate me too

I'm racist against myself.... is that possible?:rofl:

[Iggo]

107. Sure it is.

I'm half white, half Mexican.

I can't stand me and neither can I.

[stuball111]

135. Whoa!

Then I have a real problem... I'm all white!:rofl: Must be a "Fight Club" thing...eh?

[gateley]

71. Hmmm... doth thou protest too much? nt

[lamp_shade]

2. I don't know what to say.

[marmar]

3. No reason to bash you for honesty.....

Everybody carries this stuff because it's been deep programmed for years. Trying to deny that only makes it worse. Recognizing it, accepting it and dealing with it is a much healthier course of action.
When I hear phrases like "I don't have a racist bone in my body" I want to hurl.

[katandmoon]

10. +1

[tridim]

14. I've met kids who don't have a racist bone in their body.

They give me hope for the future.

[redqueen]

19. The key word there - kids. People who are lucky enough to grow up

around adults who don't engage in the stuff are just that - lucky.

Kids can't control who raises them, or how those people act.

[bertman]

82. I agree 100% redqueen, but I have to say that growing up with parents who occasionally

exhibited racist behavior (but not very often, fortunately) I developed a keen distaste for their hypocrisy and for the ugly and almost invisible side of them that behavior revealed. On the rare occasions when racist comments passed the lips of my otherwise compassionate and charitable mom and dad, I found the words and the ideas behind them so despicable that they really pushed me to evaluate MY attitudes and perspectives so I would not be so ignorant and unfeeling as they were being.

Of course, I realize that having racist parents is not the ideal way to show children how ugly racism is, but we can take some solace that a bad example is sometimes the incubator for enlightenment.

[gateley]

33. Yes -- it's conditioning and brainwashing. Nobody is born that way. nt

[imdjh]

111. Up to what age?

[A-Schwarzenegger]

4. Wow. No bashing from me.

There's a little racism in everybody. Well, almost everybody.

[omega minimo]

5. Ferget that, yer a crappy spellr!!

"judegemnts"


In your mind's eye, does everyone "normal" have a giant wedge of cheese on their head?

[flvegan]

6. This may not go well.

:popcorn:

[leftstreet]

13. You'll be needing beer with that

:beer:

[blondeatlast]

50. Am I the only one who doesn't like beer with popcorn?

Ice cold diet coke for me, thanks.

[darkstar3]

62. Popcorn can only go with one beverage.

Cola. I can't imagine what beer+popcorn would do to my stomach...

[name not needed]

63. well in that case fuck the popcorn

:beer: :beer: :beer:

[Ignis]

79. +1

Priorities!

[tridim]

7. Are you a Democrat? Did you vote for Obama?

Not calling you out, I'm just interested.

[babylonsister]

8. I think it's brave of you to write this, and I think acknowledging what

you recognize in yourself might be a big step in ridding yourself of that nasty trait.

[omega minimo]

70. It sounds like the OP is talking about being acclimated to an environment

and in some parts of the nation that's gonna be lily white, then recognizing in ones' self the reaction to seeing The Other.

I'm acclimated to diversity so lily white (as a majority or homogenous group) feels really bizarre.

If we recognize our responses when they arise, we learn to "rid ourself" of the trait, as you say.

We can practice being non judgmental in general, but that's another thread..........................

[tosh]

9. I am glad that you are working on it.

Keep up the good effort!

[liberalmuse]

11. Racism is deeply embedded in our culture.

It really is. It's all over the tv and in our publications. My mom is racist - but in a more subtle way (ex: 'Mexicans are such hard workers', 'Blacks are very spiritual', etc.), so I was raised with it by my own parent on top of societal prejudices. Although racism is a part of our culture, it is also universal for human beings to be wary of 'the other' or people unlike themselves. Human civilization is really still in the 'tribe' stage.

[subcomhd]

22. 'Mexicans are such hard workers', 'Blacks are very spiritual' aren't racist.

They are racial stereotypes and are poor form, but not racist. They aren't derogatory. If your mom said Mexicans are lazy or blacks are dishonest it would be racist.

[noiretextatique]

58. assigning qualities to a group soley because of their skin color

is racist.

[subcomhd]

90. it's stereotyping, but racism implies a put down. nt

[Ruby the Liberal]

67. Perhaps I missed the memo. Can you please define

"racial stereotype" vs "racist"?

Thanks.

[subcomhd]

93. no prob.

a racial stereotype is value neutral - it is based on ignorance and well, stereotyping. A racist statement is a racial stereotype that ALSO carries a negative connotation.

[imdjh]

112. Define this: Blacks are just like whites except for skin color.

[subcomhd]

123. Sounds like someone's awkward attempt at not being racist. nt

[imdjh]

127. I would say it's an intellectual void.

People who claim that race doesn't exist, or that it's nothing more than a skin color, and in the next breath claim that there is some inherent value to associating with people of another race.

[subcomhd]

130. racism, like much right-wing "thought "

requires the ability to believe in contradictory and often mutually exclusive concepts.

[Ian David]

12. Everybody is a little bit racist, just like everyone is a little bit gay.

I would be gay for Jon Stewart.

I would be racist for Louis Farrakhan.

The difference is what we choose to do with it.

I just hope I never get so drunk that I find myself being gay for Louis Farrakhan, and racist for Jon Stewart.

That would be bad.

Very bad.

Especially for Mrs. Farrakhan.

[BuyingThyme]

17. Hmm..

[Bonn1997]

24. This is basically what social scientists have concluded. There is no such thing as the non-prejudice

person. Different people have different levels of, and awareness of their own, prejudices though. I think the big problem is not when people admit to their prejudices but rather when they pretend and perhaps even convince themselves that they have no prejudices.

[BuyingThyme]

27. Yep.

[PassingFair]

52. Here's a fantasy shot for you....

I'd like to be the "meat" in that triple-decker myself!!

[Ian David]

66. Thanks! n/t

[SIMPLYB1980]

15. I think I like this post I'm not sure.

Props for the honesty though. I think most everyone has to fight one "demon" or another.

[redqueen]

16. No flames from me... I commend you for your honesty.

This prediliction to hate the "other" is something we evolved as a survival tactic... it's not something that's turned off like a lightswitch... and for people like you (and me)who were raised around it (my extended family included three 'races'), it's something that we recognize in ourselves to keep it in check.

To fail to admit it, and recognize it for what it is, is to risk letting it take over.

:thumbsup:

[Chemisse]

85. That is exactly what I was thinking

That stereotyping people is an adaptive behavior. Distinguishing between 'People like me' vs 'people not like me' has served as an important survival tactic over the millenia.

So we all have those tendencies to some degree. The difference is: Do we indulge our base instincts and act on raw, illogical emotions, or do we apply reason, self-control and logic to set those impulses in their place?

That is the difference between a racist and a nonracist, and I think it explains why the dim-witted among us are more likely to be racist.

Kudos to the OP for daring to say it.

[Cant trust em]

18. Good on you for posting this.

My roommates and I were talking about this just last night.

None of us can totally escape the societal baggage that we carry. It's just the amount that we shout down that part of our psyche that matters.

[angrycarpenter]

20. I grew up in Alabama during the 60s and 70s

and I know just what you are saying. Growing up in such an atmosphere put a lot of bad concepts in my head and it is no easy thing to recondition yourself from childhood indoctrination. I think the thing that saved me is that my mother may be the least racist person I know and gently set me straight with the back of her hand a few times.

[lunatica]

40. My mother grew up in North Carolina and actively taught us not to be racists

She had friends from other races who she worked with and who she socialized with and who she invited to our home on a regular basis. If we did anything that could be seen as racist, such as when my brother at the age of 10 drew a swastika on his forearm we received a history lesson on what it meant and what happened in the Holocaust. They never just told us not to say things. They told us why and what the history of hate has done in the world. Both my parents were actively anti-racists if such a thing exists.

My mother's father was a farmer in North Carolina and once when his children's school burned down he sent them to the black kids' school. The local KKK burned a cross in his front yard. It didn't stop him. He also sent all his daughters to college because he believed that women were equal. This was 70 years ago.

There are people in the South who aren't stereotypes.

[G_j]

100. wonderful story

thank you,
I live in NC now. I know someone whose grandfather, if I recall correctly, was a christian minister who preached against slavery, and had a congregation of similar believers.

[GivePeaceAchance]

121. That's a wonderful example to emulate, your folks were real good hearted. +1

[TK421]

144. I know there are good people in the south...sorry this stereotype persists n/t

[mzteris]

21. I understand what you're saying -

it's very hard to overcome your upbringing - no matter how nonsensical and hateful - you know it to be.

I was born and raised in the "Deep South". I have worked VERY hard to overcome the mores with which I was raised. Sometimes - sometimes, even after all these years of hard work and smacking myself upside the head (at least since December of 1980 - more on that if anyone cares to know) - I still to this day may sometimes "react" in my head the way I was raised.

I hate myself for it. I beat myself up for it. Yet, it's there.

I was talking to my older son about the whole "people who hate Obama are 'racist'" thing - he was saying - maybe it's overused. I said, I was "raised a racist, believe me son, they're racists."

You wanna know the kicker - my younger son is adopted African American. I love him, he is MY SON! And I will SERIOUSLY HURT ANYONE who maltreats him due to the color of his skin.

I don't want the unwelcome thoughts that dog me on occasion - I abhor them, but they are a relic of the times - and place - during which I was raised. I can only pray that it ENDS with me. My older two 'homemade' children are most definitely NOT racists in any way, shape, or form. Neither is my youngest.

May my unwanted mental transgressions be 'forgiven' by the legacy I leave.

[BlooInBloo]

23. No points for honesty unless change and improvement go along with it, tiger....

So you get a few points from me, fwiw.

EDIT: Assuming you're telling the truth, of course. Which can only be borne out by actions which I will in all likelihood never witness.

[Ozymanithrax]

25. Technically, you may have suffered a rush to judgement on yourself.

rac·ism (rszm)
n.
1. The belief that race accounts for differences in human character or ability and that a particular race is superior to others.
2. Discrimination or prejudice based on race.

Your comment did not seem to indicate "The belief that race accounts for differences in human character or ability and that a particular race is superior to others."

By your account, you find that distasteful and go to some lengths to refuse to do that.

Nor do you discriminate against other based on race, though you judge them more harshly.

What you are guilty of is tribal thinking. Our brains are finley tuned to pick out differences, to decide if someone belongs to my tribe, and is a possible ally and unavailable as a mate, or if you that person is available as a mate but a possible enemy.

[byronius]

68. Nicely put.

[lapislzi]

132. Hm. Food for thought.

Can we evolve our way out of tribal thinking? I would like to think so, but I cannot imagine how natural selection can select for non-tribal thinkers. What advantage is conferred on such individuals? A larger pool of potential mates? Maybe.

Whew. This is going to take a long time if we have to leave it to natural selection. We must redouble our efforts with our children.

[Bluerthanblue]

26. I can't tell you

what to call yourself-

In my opinion, if you were what I call a 'racist'- you wouldn't push down your first impulse to judge another person for something other than their actions. I believe racists nurture the feeling you fight, that they embrace it, feed it.

I was just thinking about MLKjr, in response to someone else's post. MLKjr. had to WORK at being non-violent. I'm not so sure that fighting instincts, or impulses isn't necessary for everyone in some way.

I appreciate your honest, introspective post.
:hi:

[hfojvt]

28. I think everybody has SOME racism

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=389&topic_id=6549896#6550787

Which is what your post seems to be about too. However, I don't like the idea of your title with the idea that anybody who has any racism is defined as "a racist". However, that is the way we generally define it when we are pointing fingers, that any evidence of racism makes somebody a total racist and that WE are purely racist and bias free.

[noiretextatique]

46. how could a white person who grew up in segregation

not be being racist since racism was the NORM in society, as it has been for most of america's history? HOW do people escape it?
i didn't grow up feeling hatred towards white people...i grew up feeling ANGER towards the white power structure (police, mostly). but there was no place, no school, no church, no family, where hatred of other people was considered normal or acceptable.
but that WAS the case for most white people in america until fairly recently in history. the laws favored white people and diminished people of color...the attitude of superior and lessor permeated every aspect of society. again, without enlightened parents or teachers, how it is that so many white people escaped that indoctrination?

[hfojvt]

83. well I was born in 1962 and thus there was not segregation in my childhood

There was not segregation in my parent's childhood either, I am quite sure of it because the places where they grew up in the 1940s were 99.44% white. Race was probably not an issue that they thought much about and certainly were not taught to hate or fear black people. I was taught that my ancestors put their lives on the line and sometimes died to end slavery. Granted, those white people in Chicago and Detroit, some of them made a fuss in the 1960s when it was their neighborhood or school being integrated, but there were also white kids going down into the south and risking violence or death in order to advance civil rights. There is not, I don't believe, a long history of racism or racist attitudes among many white people in the north. Maybe my parents could tell me different, especially since they moved to South Carolina in 1957.

[voc]

118. Some prejudice

A prejudice is an implicitly held belief, often about a group of people. Race, economic class, gender or sex, ethnicity, sexual orientation, age and religion are other common subjects of prejudice. ...
en.wikipedia.org/wiki

This thread is about prejudice not racism,ymmv.

[barbtries]

29. something i wrote a few days ago

in response to http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=103x480539

i was in LA when the Simi Valley jury came back with acquittals for the policemen who had beaten Rodney King to a pulp. i knew it was about race, and that it was racism. and on that afternoon, almost nine months pregnant, knowing my city was about to erupt in a very ugly way, i made a decision. i would never again claim, "i am not a racist." because i knew that if asked every one of those jurors would claim, "i'm not a racist," but their decision was clearly racist, which meant that their denials were lies, even if they were lies they believed themselves.

my mother used to make the same claim. "i'm not a racist, i just think they should stay in their place and we should stay in ours. i'm not a racist, but if you marry a black man i will disown you."

i deplore racism. i have done my level best to raise my children to not so engage. but i will never claim, "i am not a racist," because what if i am? if i can plainly see that so many people who are racists cannot recognize it in themselves, i cannot be content that it might not be me as well. and my personal belief is that this insidious, veiled racism that refuses to acknowledge itself is perhaps the most dangerous form of racism of all. because it is infectious and it masquerades as reason, and because it goes unacknowledged and unrecognized, it's like a bacteria or a cancer, multiplying and growing unchecked.

same sentiment different approach.

[BlooInBloo]

34. Heh. My typical standard for judging is: Would this person be comfortable with his/her daughter...

dating a black guy?

Rarely able to verify it of course, but I've found it useful as a conceptual measuring stick.

[barbtries]

39. there ya go.

dear old mom. i guess i've had her spinning in her grave a few times since her death in 1980. :smoke:

[BlooInBloo]

42. hahahah!

[JBoy]

43. The "Halle Berry dating your son" measuring stick is pretty useless.

[BlooInBloo]

44. Yah - that one doesn't work so well. lolol!

[redqueen]

47. Why is that? (nt)

[iris27]

53. Intersection between racism and sexism.

The old buried stereotypes are of black men as scary sexual aggressors, not someone you want with your daughter...but white guys have been secretly and not-so-secretly been taking advantage of black women for as long as the two races have lived together. Strom Thurmond, Thomas Jefferson, etc., etc.

[redqueen]

61. Gah... no wonder it makes my skin crawl.

x(

[safeinOhio]

30. Any one that says "I'm not a racist, but so and so is"

is most likely a flaming racist. If one were not a racist, the last thing they would say is "I'm not a racist". Forget the words and watch the actions.

[imdjh]

113. My favorite is "I'm not a racist, but..."

[subcomhd]

124. yep, I'm not racist but (insert racist statement here)

hey here's one for you I heard about thirty years ago. Old white woman rebukes old white man for saying derogatory things about Blacks. "Now, Jimmy that ain't right to talk about them like that. God put them here to test us."

[imdjh]

129. "God created black people to test our patience." Yes, I have heard it.

I didn't know that anyone else had since it was so long ago. The funny thing is, that once it's in your head it's in your head. So when I find myself in a situation where the source of annoyance is a group of black people it sometimes crosses my mind. It's completely useless when the source of annoyance is white people; they don't have God as an excuse. That's the basis for my claim that "white trash" ought to be offensive to both black and white people as the premise is that these are uncouth or otherwise undesirable people who don't have the excuse of being black.

optional follow up is "He would test the patience of a saint."

[Bonn1997]

31. Here is a relevant, easy to follow video worth watching

on the commonality of prejudice in the US and the world actually http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYQVDik69Nw

[Lagomorph]

32. I'm English, Irish, Scot and German...

The white man raped and murdered my ancestors and stole their land.

[byronius]

59. That's priceless. I hadn't thought about that.

I'm German and Welsh -- my ancestors bombed the crap out of each other.

[armyowalgreens]

35. The ego manifests weakness in many different ways. Racism is one of them.

We may not all be racist. But we are all prejudiced in some way.

[noiretextatique]

48. slavery and jim crow were not about "ego"

they were about POWER...the power to create a white only society that meted out crumbs to everyone else. racism, as practiced in america, has always been about power and money. the majority race used its power to enslave africans, then made african-americans second-class citizens, by law, for another hundred years. we are seeing the die-hard vestiges of this entrenched racial power in the rw "protestors."

[armyowalgreens]

54. Yes they were.

The root of all human action is self-affirmation.

We debase others in order to give the illusion that we have elevated our own moral and societal status.


Power is simply a manifestation of the desire to be morally, socially or physically superior to others.

[noiretextatique]

64. i understand what you mean now

i think in more concrete terms, like land that was legally stolen, and the accrued wealth that was also stolen, effectively setting inequality in stone for generations. i still think power and money had more to do with it than ego.

[JBoy]

36. It's your actions that count, so keep up the good work.

[Jennicut]

37. I am so glad that when I went to college after living in small, rich mostly white town.

I met a really nice guy who happened to be an African American. He was a year older then me, studying to be a graphic artist, he was an RA (resident's assistant), his father was a pastor in a church, he was from the city...Bridgeport for those that know Connecticut. That is a rough place to grow up. And yet, we overcame our differences and whatever preconceived notions we had about each other and became really great friends. On campus, no one really cared that we hung out together. Whites and blacks did so on a regular basis and this was already the mid 1990's. His friends accepted me no problem and my friends were cool with him too. But at home, in my rich white town, we got stares and whispers when he came to visit. Poor Tom. I really felt bad. It made me open my eyes even more to the racism people who are not white face everyday. And my Mother wanted to know if we planned to date each other...no way did she want me dating a black guy. I said we were just friends but made it clear she should not care and would not change my mind if I ever dated someone of a different race.
I don't think you are a bad person, just sheltered. So was I. Going to a school that had a mix of races was great for me. The first step is knowing that you have these preconceived notions. You are at least aware...many are not.

[noiretextatique]

38. i appreciate your honesty

i'm a black woman, and my materal great-great-grandfather was a colonel in the confederate army. he was a white man, and very likely a slave-owner. i did an exercise once in a class where i had to embrace all of my ancestors, including the colonel. it wasn't easy, but he is my ancestor and he is a part of my existence on this earth.
we all struggle with learned stereotypes and judgments, and you are so absolutely correct: it takes work and efforts to overcome that conditioning.
if anyone accuses you of some "white guilt" bs, i will be issuing a smackdown.

[gateley]

41. .....

:hug: You have a beautiful heart.

[NMDemDist2]

45. when ever this subject comes up I am reminded of the movie "A Time to Kill"

when Samuel L. Jackson says to his white lawyer "When you look at me, you don't see a man, you see a BLACK MAN"

It's always stayed with this old white woman and make me look at myself more honestly.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0117913/quotes

[iris27]

49. "If I have children, they will be better persons than I, I will make sure of it."

And this is the key. Just don't let it anywhere outside your head, and that's 97% of the battle, at least as far as teaching your kids is concerned.

I am the child of one blatant racist (dad) and one more subtle racist (mom), and yet somehow I missed enough of the blatant one's comments that I grew up with so much less prejudice than they have.

I was so unaware of parents' levels of racism as I grew up that it completely shocked me when my sister was friends with a biracial kid at her school and my mom told her she'd better not start dating him. I went OFF, and told her she was damn lucky that my fiance happened to be white, because it wouldn't have mattered to me in the slightest if he'd been black, Latino, or any other race. Then it was her turn to be shocked.

[gateley]

84. My dad (Boston Irish Catholic) was anti-Semitic. I never knew that growing up --

he never spoke disparagingly of Jews. My brother and I were raised to accept everyone (even Protestants!). It wasn't until I was older that my mother told me about it -- I was shocked!

[Dappleganger]

102. This is how we change a generation...

your story sounds similar to mine regarding family, although I knew early on how racist my parents were. Somehow the hate they had never matched up with what I read in the bible. Calling them out on it did NOT go well so I learned to avoid it by leaving the room whenever the topic came up. As I grew older (and bolder) there were some very heated conversations about their hypocricy (sp?).

Something I like that Oprah said once, that if you know better you DO better. That's exactly what we have tried with our four kids and it is encouraging to see especially the teens take this to heart.

And to my father who is still alive but not able to reason, I loved you anyway but the way that our family treats others is a giant FUCK YOU to your hatred and bigotry. We taught them pretty much the exact opposite of most everything you taught me, and that seems to be just about right.

[cliffordu]

51. No flames from me.

Ya get huge props from me for revealing what MOST people here wish they could forget about themselves, no matter how subtle the value.

[A-Schwarzenegger]

56. "...bash me senseless at your own leisure."

I trust you're happily surprised at the responses & recs.

[byronius]

57. I have some of that similar programming. Texas style.

But that part of the disk has been overwritten so many times, it exists only as a dim memory.

I needed a place to store my Martin Luther King videos.

Good post. Glad you made it.

Interesting to study the many racial hierarchy perceptions -- it's somewhat common among Asians for the Japanese to look down on the Chinese, who look down on the Koreans, who look down on the Hmong and Pacific Islanders -- weird.

I would venture that there is much social behavior that has its basis in DNA. Perhaps we are born looking around for someone to feel superior to, or to alienate. Herd patterns learned three million years ago.

I'm not at all certain it's permanent. I think close contact can really change the internal dialogue. As a child, I felt waves of disgust for black women; now, I find them highly attractive.

Maybe Lieutenant Uhuru helped with that.

Sigh.

[MineralMan]

60. OK. Good luck with all that...

Seeya!

[CBR]

65. As others have said, I appreciate your honesty.

I think it is a process for a majority of us. When I was in my early teens I lived on the north coast of Oregon (liberal, laid back, rainy place). My Dad was stationed there in the Coast Guard. My family is originally from West Virginia. My family is Southern Baptist. I was the most conservative kid in class -- writing papers on the uselessness of affirmative action and gay marriage in brash, dismissive ways and yet I remembering asking my Mom, "would you mind if I dated a black guy?" She quickly replied, "no." I think it had come up in class because we had no black, hardly and minority students outside of the ESL program and I had never considered it. So, I asked.

Before my junior year I moved back to WV. This was a striking experience for me as I was now in a mixed race (about 30% black), poor school. I was confronted with hushed racism and homophobia by the white students (using the N word, confederate flags, going to chat rooms to harass GLBT individuals). Faced with how this attitude was coupled with the "policy" positions I was advocating, I began to see the hatefulness of my beliefs. I never thought of myself as a person who appeared mean and hateful but that is how I appeared to my classmates in Oregon (I was also particularly rude to Mormons). This began the change... it took a long time. I supported Dole (couldn't vote), considered voting for Bush in 2000 (did not in the end) etc... Today, I am studying public policy in grad school in a very progressive, social change-oriented program and I love it. I have researched my Appalachian heritage and all its elements and role in public policy. I also have been happily married to a Black man for almost 4 years, he is a teacher. My parents, as I expected, did not react as my Mom indicated but they have come around. I also have an uncle who is a teabagger -- this makes for uncomfortable holidays as he told my husband once that he (my husband) was, "lucky that my family was so nice to him (in a condesending way)." It was the greatest moment to gloat after Obama's win following 8 years of Ann Coulter and Pat Buchanan gifts for Christmas (no joke).

Sorry for the length...

[LatteLibertine]

72. People may dismantle racism and bigotry within

if they're willing to do the work.

They may start with treating others as they wish to be treated. They should work on practicing empathic concern. They should work on rejecting stereotypes. They should judge each person they meet when they encounter them and on their own merits. They should work hard on seeing people as members of one human race sometimes separated by different cultures. They should realize we have more in common than we have differences.

Honestly, I believe many of these people may be reformed or deprogrammed. They need to make the right choices and modify their internal dialogue.

I work against folks accepting racism all the time. The most effective way to do it is with calm compassionate reason. Sure it's tempting to blow up and be uncivil, however that benefits no one in the end.

The wealthy/ruling class have always used things like this to divide people.

[Happyhippychick]

73. I'm pretty fucking sure that all of us have had racist /anti-semitic/gay-bashing thoughts.Except for

all of the perfect people who walk among us. I don't include myself in that group.

Kudos to you for your honesty!

[varelse]

74. "Let he who has never sinned cast the first stone"

I don't think you're likely to get much in the way of bashing - not if we're all being honest with ourselves. Who can really be absolutely, positively sure that they're completely unbiased with regard to race - even at the subconscious level?

[Brickbat]

75. The eye-rolling and tee-heeing in this thread puzzles me. I think this is a very honest and true

post, and I think it applies to the vast majority of people here. Except, as someone noted above, the ultra-perfect ones (hwah!) among us.

[Forkboy]

92. I don't get it either.

The honesty is rather refreshing.

[AusDem]

76. i've been pointing people to this article

http://www.newsweek.com/id/214989

I'm not 100% sure on the soundness of the science behind it, but what it suggests seems to make sense.

We're born with an innate need to differentiate ourselves from "the other", which as an evolutionary tool was probably useful, as a clan could get attacked, etc, etc. Unless it is explicitly explained that in fact someone who looks different from you is NOT "the other", they are just another human being, we'll continue with that mindset. I think that would explain why in communities where the concept of "the other" is actually REINFORCED, there tends to be a large racist undertone (which can spill into an overtone).

I particularly like the small study they did between the kids wearing red shirts and the kids wearing blue shirts. the natural instinct for kids was to forgive the faults that their own group had, and be more critical of the faults of the other group.

So maybe as you haven't had to deal with "the other" as a child as much, it makes it harder for you to counteract that natural impulse. But the fact that you're sentient enough to do that is good, its a step in the right direction.

[Karenina]

77. IMHO, the only trustworthy white American, when it comes to race relations

is the one who answers when asked, "Are YOU a racist?" (in that tired old accusatory tone) replies nonplussed, "I was born and bred in America and I'm working on it!"

Tribal prejudices prevail around the globe. Where I see progress are the places in which the definition of WHO is part of the tribe expands.

Did you know that in Japan a slight curl in your hair marks you for life? That's changing now as the kids trapped on the islands go hog wild. ;-)
But if you're really up for knee-deep in that 2R-funk, get into it about caste with your best friend from India. Errraa... On second thought, DON'T.
That is, unless you can just SHUT UP AND LISTEN. :evilgrin:

[G_j]

98. if it's not race or gender, then it's usually something,

age, clothing, income, lifestyle. The visible things that set us apart.
Like anyone else, I have my automated pre-judgments. My wise-mind makes corrections, and I know I'm learning.
I believe every single person must practice what the OP speaks of, on some level.

[Karenina]

134. Not usually, my dearest G_j

It's ALWAYS someappeal-to-the-dimwitted-self-absorbed-insecure-jackasses-most-base-instinctsthing. :rofl:

I think people who engage in the processes that the OP describes do so because they HAVE TO. We MUST do it to maintain our intellectual/educational/emotional/ethical integrity. And it really isn't such a big deal. It's just about being honest, at least with ourselves. We note it, check it and laugh at our own foibles. No cat-o-nine-tails or tearful public confessions required.

The reason I was so specific in my reference to "trustworthy white Americans" is that after 6 decades, dear bro, I'm so fucking tired. That "knapsack awareness" is a requirement for engagement. Mine included my performance defining the value of my race in any particular endeavor. I'm into those who can unpack theirs as I unpack mine. We put it ALL in its stinking glory on the table, open the doors and windows and turn on the overhead fan. Then we go out on the terrace for pot-luck, discourse and libations. Call me a Utopian, if you will!! :loveya:

[G_j]

138. I see what you're saying

at least I think so..

I'm not in personal need of gnashing my teeth and donning sackcloth.
I know life is made of choices, who doesn't? Choosing not be a jackass is certainly one of them.
And that, really isn't that complicated.

lol

Our culture is a masterpiece of dysfunction. Yes, let's throw it all on the table! All of it.
Look at this terrible mess! And, Here we are!

:toast: :loveya:

[Karenina]

145. Dysfunction, indeed!

On this side of the pond the FAQs I field are, " Why do they NOT WANT a functioning health care system? What are all these absurd characterizations of President Obama? How come these protest signs make no sense? How did they get so nuts being privy to our history?"

What indeed shall I say? :rofl:

[G_j]

146. thinking about it, I honestly believe

they are entering the realm of true insanity. Are their minds now utterly broken?
I really think many of them are, and that's dangerous. If Obama said" water is wet", they'd be quite open to be convinced it wasn't.
Is there a part of human nature that craves brainwashing?

[BlooInBloo]

139. I wouldn't go quite that far. But damn close.

:P


EDIT: Most definitely, treating white folks as trustworthy judges of what is and is not racism is the height of self-serving absurdity.

[Karenina]

141. I went THAT far??? Oh, dear...

:rofl:

[BlooInBloo]

142. You.... too-far-goer!

:P

[lurky]

78. Thanks for your honesty and courage.

Prejudice is a sneaky thing. Most of us have prejudices we aren't even aware of or willing to admit. We are bombarded with stereotypes and prejudices throughout our life, and it takes honesty and discipline to recognize them and rid ourselves of them.

I am especially wary when people congratulate themselves for being non-racist or claim to be totally pure in this sense. I think they can develop a complacency that prevents them from examining themselves and recognizing racist thoughts. It reminds me of people who claim to be "sinless".

Don't forget to forgive yourself. Don't forgive the racism, but forgive yourself for being born into a world where you were taught to think this way. You didn't choose it.

[LatteLibertine]

80. Racism is a tool that is often used by the wealthy/ruling class to divide people

They don't want the poor and middle class coming together

[Mari333]

81. well, if everyone in the world checked their DNA

they would find out that every human being is related to each other from 15 clan mothers in Africa..

the first humans came from Africa

we are all related to the same grandmothers from Africa

[voc]

119. +1

[Libertas1776]

86. Despite how

preachy we might like to be about how progressive we all are, there are times when we may mutter something under our breaths or think something, even though we know to be utterly stupid and wrong, that can be deemed racist or offensive, especially when you get cut off on the road. I am speaking about everyone of any race. Everybody IMO is a little racist, it is just to a degree about how racist you are, from either a microscopic half second thought in the back of your mind that somebody might deem offensive, to a full blown David Duke, Farrakhan like racist. I tend to believe that most people fall in the former and not the latter category.

It is good that you are working to confront and dismantle the stupidity of what is racism and how it is affecting you. It takes a very strong person to admit that they have a real problem.


In fact, I often like to joke that if anyone ever accuses me of being racist I'd just say that I hate everybody; no matter what color or race you are. I don't discriminate who I hate. I am an equal opportunity racist who hates all races including my own.
I am the world's largest freaking misanthrope. Of course, that joke only
really becomes funny after a couple of :beer: and maybe followed by :puke:

[gleaner]

87. I want to thank you for this post ....

I think that you have given us grist to mull over when we examine our own thoughts and feelings. It certainly took courage for you to write it, and that is to be admired.

My father was a racist. I loved him, but he was biased, loudmouthed and always had something cruel to say about anyone who was different. I never understood how devastating this could be until I was about 14 and brought home my best friend from high school. She was Jewish, and proud of her heritage. She discussed it with my father who turned bright red like he was going to explode. I didn't know what the problem was. Then he exploded. "Hitler was right, he told my friend. She looked at him for a second and burst into tears all of the spirit and fight that I admired in her suddenly gone. I realized that my father had taken it away from her.

She left and went back to her house and her parents called the school. The school called my father. I don't know what they said but he became very subdued and then he told me that she was welcome any time and he would keep out of her way. She came again afterwords and even spend the night on occasions, but she always avoided my father and he avoided her. It was brutal for her, but she liked me enough to do it. That made me think hard about every comment he made about people who were not white bread identical. It made me think a lot about my friend's courage as she came and went. My mother was always very kind to everyone and my father's behavior shamed her. I don't know if my father ever thought about what he did, but after a time he stopped vocalizing his thoughts and I was not so very uncomfortable about bringing friends home. I still made a point to warn them about him, though. In the end he was the big loser in the racist exchanges, but I doubt that he could see that.

You do contain your behavior and you deserve consideration for that too. Even though you held yourself out to be judged, I am not judging you. I think you are a good person who tries very hard to live up to what you think you should be as much for yourself as for the good opinion of others. That is not so easy to do, but it is admirable.

Oh, and you popcorn people? Cola is the best drink with popcorn. ;)

[LanternWaste]

88. The tree of racism has been cut down long ago...

The tree of racism has been cut down long ago, but its roots run very deep. Yet I imagine it emanates in very different ways for different people. Our culture has insidiously played us like a piano-- citing demographics to market one thing to a black male, and market another thing to a white male. And for the most part, every one of us plays that game.

The odd thing is, I make snap judgments about red-necks and good-old-boys almost every day. But they seem to be the first ones to pull over to help a stranded motorist regardless of what that motorist may look like in my small corner of the world.

And in contrast, my Renny acquaintances, wearing the typical tie-died t-shirts, sandals, long hair, and Peace and Obama buttons, are the first ones to move to the other side of the street if they see someone "not of their culture".

We each of us attempt to recognize (or I hope we do) those evils in us (as Shakespeare wrote, "I and my bosom must debate awhile...") A small thing indeed-- but multiplied across the country, I imagine it adds up do a cultural awareness.

"I am less racist than those who have come before me, and more racist than those who came after-- as are we all" Anon.

[elshiva]

89. Have some popcorn...

[LynnTheDem]

91. Congratulations to you for knowing the dark side of yourself, and your

on-going determination to overcome it.

We all have prejudices; too many don't recognize their own, or if they do, don't make the effort to overcome and better themselves.

Thank you for making the effort to overcome your own dark side. If more people would do so, this would be a far kinder world for all.

:hug:

[zytime]

94. Good for you..

for knowing what kind of person you want to be and working hard to become that person.

On a lighter note, maybe this will help along the way:)
http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/avenueq/everyonesalittlebitracist.htm

[Raejeanowl]

95. I Admire Your Honesty

It lives and breathes in many people, courtesy of their culture and their parents/community, and it comes down to their choices: How do I raise my children, what kind of example do I want to set, how do I respond/react to the signs of racism in others, what do I do when my own buttons are deliberately pushed?

Some are more aware of it than others; some would rather die than admit they've ever been tempted by this particular devil.

You've got the right idea. I hope you're not too terribly disappointed if some of these responses aren't critical.

[Unvanguard]

96. Most people are, somewhat.

Sometimes I think "nearly all."

To admit it, and actively fight it, is the right course of action. Unfortunately, many prefer to languish in denial.

[tnlefty]

97. Or a degree of resentment?

My MIL was 1/4 Cherokee and she was proud of it. She died Aug. 9th of this year and she talked about 'the white man', even though she was married to my FIL for 60 yrs., as she approached her death. Over the years, we collected pottery pieces for her that were made by Cherokees, and she had a collection of Dream Catchers.

I did mention to her that Native Americans were in the Inaugural Parade (she didn't watch it), but I told her about how beautiful the horses looked and the lovely beadwork on the horses and the Chiefs. She was pleased to hear it.

Native Americans haven't been treated well and take care.

[laughingliberal]

99. I noticed my own prejudices in my 30's

I was shocked to see I had them after growing up in the social justice wing of the Catholic Church with parents who marched with MLK. I was talking with a very close friend who was African-American one night. She said, "Everyone is racist to some degree. The difference is if you are willing to acknowledge it and work through it." She said the real danger does lie with those who do not have the self awareness to see it and fight it. My belief now is that racism is not defined by the feelings I may have at times but by my reaction to those feelings.

[The Animator]

101. What would this thread be without the inevitable cliche...

The first step is realizing that you have a problem...

This is the most crucial element of any healing process. Introspection doesn't do you any good if you keep your eyes closed. Recognizing this uncomfortable truth, that there is an aspect of your thinking that your not particularly proud of, will allow you to take steps to improve yourself.

[Forkboy]

105. I think this is one of the major things that separates the Right and the Left.

Generally speaking, most on the Left are willing to look inwards and most on the Right aren't. And if they do look inwards they usually embrace any ugliness they find within instead of trying to change it.

[Rowdyboy]

103. You're a class act in my book. One of the finest threads I've ever seen here....

[TicketyBoo]

104. You've Got To Be Carefully Taught…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHKzn8aHyXg

[Quantess]

108. I have not read any of the other posts yet.

I offer my gentle (not to be confused with gentile) wisdom: Do not "bash it down". Question it.

Embrace your racist beliefs, expose them to the light, and then analyze them fully. Do not be afraid of the hidden hatred. Face the hatred or prejudices you are feeling, and learn from that.

[guitar man]

109. No flames from me

I still refer to myself as a "recovering racist". I saw the light many many moons ago but I call myself that to always remind me of where I came from lest I forget and slip back into my old ways in arrogance.

[TK421]

110. I see the majority of posts here have commended you for coming out for this

but where are you? Honestly, I saw this as a drive-by post, and you did state that you expected to be bashed for it....are you here? Have you read any of these posts?

[alittlelark]

114. I was a white minority in my NM schools.

I got picked on and tormented because of my blonde hair and pale skin.

By the end of HS there were no problems, and some of my tormentors were my friends.

I learned what it was to be in the obvious minority.



I hold a couple of grudges (Bertha Marquez + Eunice Candelaria).


But I learned. At the time I did not know what I was learning.

I'm glad I did.

[optimal-tomato]

115. I've got a bit of that.

But honestly, it hasn't stopped me from being a vocal opponent to racism and racial insensitivity.

The snap judgements thing is a bitch, though. It will make you feel bad about thoughts that just leap into your mind. Keep up the fight.

[Kablooie]

116. Now Jesse Owens, he was black but also the fastest racist of his time.

[GivePeaceAchance]

117. Takes a brave person to admit their flaws. No judgment here. ..

Life is an evolution of more tolerance.

[Fuzz]

120. I am Spartacus!

;)

[tama]

122. Know thyself

Being and becoming aware of culturally conditioned mechanisms of emotional and intellectual reactions is the way of not giving those mechanisms more power, freedom from these mechanisms.

It is not the people who are self-aware who are the problem. People who deny mechanisms like racist reaction from their self-image and/or push those mechanisms into subconsciousness don't stop those mechanisms, the mechanisms manifest in constant projections etc.

[Name removed]

125. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Forkboy]

126. Maybe if so many of your Republican friends weren't racist it wouldn't be a problem.

Something to ponder perhaps?

[Patiod]

128. "he's an asshole because he's an asshole"

I try to tell my SIL that. She hates every single nurse she works with at the hospital.

The black ones "because they're niggers", the white and Filipino ones because they're "bitches" or "idiots". And yet her description of everyone's behavior is identical.

[ejbrush]

131. Damn, If only the cucumbers had flourished like this thread...

Huh. Amazing. I rattle off a little nugget that had been bouncing around in my brain all day, leave to have a few beers (and one absolutely superb Bloody Mary - Micky's Tavern, on Williamson St., Madison, WI - trust me), and when I get back to it today - foom! Ah-ha.

Not that it matters in the least, but I did vote for Obama; I worked hard to convince my mom and grandfather to vote for Obama in the primary. I didn't really need to work on them during the real election, since Palin did most of the convincing for me. What a loathsome human being (an assumption, I know - but I have not seen evidence to suggest she's actually a reptiloid).

I have a degree in both anthroplogy and archaeology, which is why I work in a diesel fuel shop rebuilding injection pumps. My co-workers are almost entirely conservative, they are my windows to that way of thinking. I sit at lunch, listening to the conversations they have, try to get a feel for what really motivates them. For better or for worse, I just let them go on and on, since it is a small shop, and I need the job more than I need to stir up animosity with people who don't matter.

For the ideology warriors and perfect few out there, let me repeat that: I need the job more than I need to stir up animosity with people who don't matter. At the bar, sure, rock the boat. In the checkout at the grocery, why not poke the bear a little. But at work, with people I have to see every day, sorry, no politics or religion. Yeah, coward, I know.

A lot of the replies have been the sort of "oh, you're not racist, you're just (prejudiced)(tribal)(dramatic)(a troll)." Let's chalk that up to semantics. The English language has enough depth and nuance that a person can weasle their way out of most any unpleasant self-examination with a thesaurus and some rosy glasses. I chose not to.

Eh, this is enough for now. My coffee is getting cold.

Oh, and by the way - if you can read it, it ain't misspelled.

[A-Schwarzenegger]

133. Hmmm.

I guess I expected somebody who expected to be bashed senseless
would have a different reaction to such an overwhelming slew of
understanding & empathic responses. Does that make me a postist?

[ejbrush]

137. Let's call it pleasant suprise, eh?

I mean, I've lurked around DU for, what, four years now? It pains me to say it, but there are always the anonymous human beings who will crap on a post, without reading it, reading something into it that wasn't there, fulfilling their own agenda.
Frankly, I was suprised that so many people were honest enough to agree and open themselves up as well. It was, it is, refreshing.

[A-Schwarzenegger]

140. Yeah.

Looked like 98% positive to me, plus a couple popcorn sillies & only one deleted message. Pleasantly surprised me 2. :hi:

[Karenina]

136. Babykins, are you stuck there?

"I have a degree in both anthroplogy and archaeology" from some indoctrinating, lib'rul madrassa to be sure ;-) that had you ruminating, "Now THAT'S a view from another corner." Madison gets BIG PROPS in my book. College school chums, li'l cuz studying there and those whose paths I've crossed...

[TK421]

143. Superb Bloody Mary? I won't leave a bar without them telling me what they put

in it....one place I was at the bartender thought he was being creative and dumped a bunch of cajun seasoning in it and thought it would taste good with a celery stick...it was awful!

At least he tried, I suppose....