OMG! You Know That Joke "Everyone Is Part Gay Because They Masturbate"?

[BlooInBloo]

I can't even laugh at them any more. It's all just sofa king stupid.

Can I get a collective (facepalm)?


http://thinkprogress.org/2009/09/19/coburn-schwartz-pornography

"Coburn’s Chief Of Staff On Keeping Kids Away From Porn: ‘All Pornography Is Homosexual Pornography’

...

SCHWARTZ: And one of the things that he said to me, that I think is an astonishingly insightful remark. He said, “all pornography is homosexual pornography because all pornography turns your sexual drive inwards. Now think about that. And if you, if you tell an 11-year-old boy about that, do you think he’s going to want to go out and get a copy of Playboy? I’m pretty sure he’ll lose interest. That’s the last thing he wants.” You know, that’s a, that’s a good comment. It’s a good point and it’s a good thing to teach young people.

..."

[varelse]

1. What's with his fixation on the inner sex life of 11 year old boys?

ooo sorry I meant to say

:facepalm:

[blogslut]

2. sigh

Where to begin with the wrongness of that statement...

[subcomhd]

59. I don't even understand it.

IS it about masturbation? It's kind of rambling.

[blogslut]

65. I'll try

This goon starts from the bullshit assumption that young boys are askeered of appearing to be homosexual. From there he extrapolates that because masturbation is self-induced, the act is a same-sex sex act and therefore, if adults explain to young men that masturbating gives them teh gay, boys will immediately stop doing it.

His "logic" is an attempt to buttress his initial assumption that masturbation = evil.

My guess is is mommy caught him masturbating and beat the shit out of him and, emotionally, he's been stuck in that little boy place ever since.

[subcomhd]

76. wow - that was quite a hike through the crazy forest.

but thank you for leading me through it.

[Dogmudgeon]

3. There is no palm big enough for that

Uh ... let me rephrase that ...

--d!

[keroro gunsou]

92. bwahahahahahahhaha!

good one.

[uppityperson]

4. I read the article and he has some serious issues. Here you go...

:facepalm:

[The Magistrate]

5. He Spends, Sir, A Lot Of Time Thinking About Pre-Pubescent Boys....

[Solomon]

13. Your insight is impeccable.

Only someone so fixated would this idea occur to.

[Speck Tater]

6. So if you have sex with your clone is that masterbation or incest? nt.

[BlooInBloo]

7. Incesturbation?

[DRoseDARs]

40. Twincest, it exists and isn't as hot as it sounds. Twins are creepy enough w/o touching each other.

;) :P

[InternalDialogue]

10. That's a business plan.

[MrModerate]

24. I'd lean toward just clean fun. n/t

[Speck Tater]

31. Even more controversial, what if you went back in a time machine and had sex with yourself. nt

[subcomhd]

61. I don't think it works that way. nt

[Chemisse]

8. Do any of these guys remember what it was like to be an 11 year old boy?

Plus the total lack of logic in that statement is stunning.

[pnwmom]

11. I think I remember being an 11 year old boy better than he does

even though, as it happens, I was an 11 year old girl.

[BlooInBloo]

16. (snarfle)

[juno jones]

25. You're lucky! I had swallowed that sip of beer.

You could have owed me a keyboard!

explosive :rofl:

[uppityperson]

44. I only remember what an 11 yr old boy felt like.

[Chemisse]

68. Hahaha! nt

[MineralMan]

72. Very nice...

[MajorChode]

9. Looks like Schwartz is at it again

He and Coburn are definitely two testicles of the same nutbag.

[madeline_con]

12. And some advice for straight couples.

Schwartz then added a slight caveat, saying, “if it doesn’t turn you homosexual, it at least renders you less capable of loving your wife. And it’s something you need to be healed of.”

What a dufus.

[Ian David]

71. But if you masturbate during the day, you can stay hard longer for your wife at night. n/t

[BlooInBloo]

82. It's good before dates too!

[Ian David]

85. Just don't get it in your hair. n/t

[BlooInBloo]

89. Or hers.

[VOX]

14. tT he'r z n0th in g Wrr0gn wit h mmasturb atti0 n !11!

D o'nt B eeleve aa w ord 0f tthha t c rAp !11!! :evilgrin:

[BlooInBloo]

15. Damn one-handed typers.

:P

[ezgoingrl]

17. I'm sorry.

This joker is my Senator. I realize it wasn't Coburn giving the talk, but anyway...I'm sorry. I try to get rid of him, and so do other people that I know it's just that the overwhelming majority of people in Oklahoma have their heads up their asses. There is no limit to their stupidity and willful ignorance. :blush:

[RagAss]

18. Is this the weekend DU jumped the fucking Shark ?

A "gang bang" thread and now this. Have the teabaggers finally driven us to the fucking Nut Farm?

[The Magistrate]

20. We Jump Sharks Twice Before Breakfast Here Daily, Sir, Fucking Or Otherwise

Have for years....

[grantcart]

21. Based on the tart replies tonight I believe that you have been drinking Cognac Sir.

If you don't bring enough for everyone you shouldn't bring any at all.

[BlooInBloo]

23. Drunk Magistrate! Drunk Magistrate!

I dunno why, but that prospect seems very funny to me somehow.

:rofl:

[The Magistrate]

27. Why, Jest My Usual Sody-Pop, Sir....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gVmU_Ql8uI0

[Swamp Rat]

41. Cheers!

:toast:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6AoysLSHNSo&feature=related

[juno jones]

35. Whether the libation is sody-pop or otherwise:

:toast:

Well played, and terribly accurate, sir.

edit because I get a free one after work...and a couple more... :hi:

[subcomhd]

79. greatest post ever. nt

[alcibiades_mystery]

84. ROFL

:thumbsup:

Love it, Magistrate!

[BlooInBloo]

22. Uh... Jumping the shark for ripping on republican gay-bashing? Seriously?

I might agree about DU jumping the shark, but that certainly wouldn't be the reason I gave.

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

29. Mmmmm....fucking nuts.....

That was my Homer Simpson impersonation...

[BlooInBloo]

37. I find this helps in a forum context....

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

75. Thank you...

The joke works so much better with visuals.

[leftstreet]

52. +1

[Odin2005]

19. Oh god, what stupidity.

[bridgit]

26. Hm, I see...Herr Schwartz do, please...

Continue ~

[juno jones]

39. I love that couch.

Something quite primeval about the patterning and the texture.

And lots of red. Encompassing, womblike.

Says a lot about Freud.

On edit: I lived in and around the sierras for years. Are you thereabouts or further north?? :hi:

[bridgit]

43. We're on the flats in the valley...

:hi:

[juno jones]

51. This is the view from the deck of what was once my house

in all too brief respite from the world:



This is from Rough and Ready looking across the northern valley. You can make out the Sutter Buttes, on a good day you could see the coastal range.

I treasure every moment I had in that place. :)

[BlooInBloo]

66. Gorgeous.

[juno jones]

77. Thanks!

I still miss my lemon tree. :(

:hi:

[bridgit]

67. Oh yeah, that's a nice part of the world, my brother had land in Penn Valley...

We still have friends up along the ridge :)

[unapatriciated]

88. Where in the Sierras? Lived in Mammoth for ten years 1994-2004

btw k&R for all 11 year old boys, raised three myself.
I made it a rule to never never open the bathroom door without knocking first.
It's just good manners.

[yellowcanine]

28. Nothing will stop an 11 yr old from masturbating. Anyone who thinks otherwise is just nuts.

[juno jones]

30. I can't wait to tell the guys at work.

For anybody who doesn't know, I'm a line cook at a joe place with a bunch of bright, yet wanna be joe guys (because they're still learning, the pups).

They were ragging on 'Patriot Day' tonite. Seems they think it is stupid and a waste of time. This masturbation thing will forever cement contempt of the republican party in the eyes of a bunch of working class guys that the repubs are hoping to capture. HAHAHAHAHAH!

Take that lurking *republicans*! Take it from me, the resident blue collar schlub, it ain't working.

[Treo]

32. "Tater Salad" has known this for years

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iKB7vAFTdA8

[BlooInBloo]

33. hahahaahaa!!! He certainly delivered it far better than I ever could have!

[fishwax]

45. "I did not know that about myself"

:rofl:

I love that bit. :)

[Rude Dog]

50. I might not agree with Ron White on everything...

...but I'll bust that bit out wherever it's needed. He hit it dead-on with that one.

[redqueen]

56. Hahahaha...

Thanks! :)

[Rex]

34. How would he know!?

A little too much hairy palm action for Schwartz IMO.

[Swamp Rat]

38. heheheh!

[Rex]

42. LOL!

Nothing like sleeping on your arm and then having a 'stranger' with your morning wood!

Someone get me the sissors and some KY!

[Swamp Rat]

36. AWESOME!!

:party:

[fishwax]

46. for some reason, the request for a "collective (facepalm)" in a thread about masturbation amuses me

:rofl:

[BlooInBloo]

47. Actually, it's a thread about gay-bashing, but yah.

:rofl:

[stuball111]

48. LMAO! these people must lay awake all night thinking up this shit!

It just keeps getting more and more ridiculous. Since when do 11 years old kids wank? Hell, I never started til I was at least 14! (late bloomer?) And I sure as hell ain't gonna quit now! (54) I suppose next they'll condemn wet dreams, which is natures way of discharging goo and keeping the system "flowing" (out with the old, in with the new.... a medical fact) And it's been proven that regular discharge in males is healthy, and actually reduces the chance of prostate cancer. Shit, they try to ban wanking and they're gonna hear from me!:mad:

[TalkingDog]

49. Wouldn't that actually make it AutoSexual Attraction?

And no, not like this guy: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/2000899/Man-admits-having-sex-with-1000-cars.html

or this guy:



Or is he like most idgit Republicans who fail to understand that Homo = like. As in someone LIKE me... but NOT me.

[Gabi Hayes]

53. pop quiz time! who said this:

Meanwhile, the boy's father has to do his part. He needs to mirror and affirm his son's maleness. He can play rough-and-tumble games with his son, in ways that are decidedly different from the games he would play with a little girl. He can help his son learn to throw and catch a ball. He can teach him to pound a square wooden peg into a square hole in a pegboard.

He can even take his son with him into the shower, where the boy cannot help but notice that Dad has a penis, just like his, only bigger.

HINT: he's had it scrubbed from one of his own websites, where it appeared, much to his embarrassment

[BlooInBloo]

54. Wow. He sounds INCREDIBLY concerned. Literally.

[The Magistrate]

55. That Old Christer Pervert Dobson, Sir, Of Course....

[redqueen]

57. I don't understand why the kid's supposed to become disinterested in Playboy.

That just doesn't make any sense to me at all.

[The Magistrate]

58. Apparently, Ma'am, He is Supposed To Fear Arousal By Naked Women Will Make Him A Homosexual

"Sounds crazy, Jim, but it just might work!"

[redqueen]

62. It'd take a special kind of stupid to believe that.

Then again... hmmm... cutting taxes for the rich helps the poor... bombing the crap out of a country will make them greet us as liberators... trees cause pollution. I think I'm seeing a pattern.

[The Magistrate]

64. There You Go, Ma'am....

Once you let go completely of sense and reason, it all becomes easy as pie!

[subcomhd]

81. I had to have it explained also. Here's what i was told

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=389&topic_id=6589262&mesg_id=6590822

Though Magistrate sums it up well too.

[BlooInBloo]

60. Error it is, trying to understand, young padawan.

[redqueen]

63. lol

Can't help it. :)

[lame54]

69. Does that mean masturbation is incest?

[muriel_volestrangler]

70. Leaving the lights on must be homosexual too

You'll catch a glimpse of your own anatomy. And that's a slippery slope.

[BlooInBloo]

73. "And that's a slippery slope"....

(rimshot)

:rofl:

[mitchum]

74. I thought that only applied if one is limber enough to suck one's own cock?

And then it's only "gay" if you...finish up!

[Harry Monroe]

83. Reminds me of that old joke...

Q: Why does a dog lick his balls?
A: Because he can.

[subcomhd]

87. two guys are watching a dog lick his balls

guy 1 - Man I wish I could do that.

guy 2 - That dog would BITE you.

[Harry Monroe]

93. I heard it told another way

Guy 1: "Man I wish I could do that!"

Guy 2: "Don't you think you ought to pet him first?"

[donco6]

78. Man, some people can make gay whipping boys out of ANYTHING.

And I need a towel before that facepalm thingy.

[subcomhd]

86. I wonder what happens if you google that?

gay whipping boys

[NYC_SKP]

80. I Am Very Relieved. This means I'm only gay twice a day...

...or so. :P

:hide:

[Incitatus]

90. I'm reminded of this quote:

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the universe." - Einstein

[Incitatus]

91. dupe

[saltpoint]

94. You know, some of these nutbag far-right droids might do themselves a huge

favor by getting a damn hobby.

Falconry, for example.

I recommend they take up falconry on the steppes of Asia and that they pack and leave at once.

[BlooInBloo]

95. I'll contribute.

[saltpoint]

96. : )

:thumbsup: :hi: