This lecture brought to you by a black hole . . . Please come CAPTION Head Wreck!!

[skip fox]

Fed Dreck is saying: "America, it all boils down to one simple thing . . . Heck, you don't need all these charts and data . . . They just tell you what your gut already knows . . . Satan has this country by the short hairs. . . . And it's only fair and balanced to point this out."

[Cyrano]

1. Ladies and Gentlemen: The words I have written here are so far beyond

bullishit that Satan would blush. I have outdone the horned bastard.

[HopeHoops]

2. "And the teabag was THIS big!"

"I think I'll cry."

[sakabatou]

3. The suppository I took was this big.

[MineralMan]

4. Beck is a brown, puckered hole, not a black hole.

[skip fox]

5. "Christianity is great, except it was tainted by centuries of Middle-Eastern and Eurpoean

theological scholarship. . . . Mormonism, is a completely American religion and no foreigner has written a word about it. . . . So if you wanta be patriotic, you gotta go Latter-day Saints. . . . That's why I'm happy New Orleans won yesterday. . . . It's like a sign, don't you see? . . . . What so crazy about all that?"

[BadgerKid]

6. (tap shoes) Tea...for two...and two...for tea (n/t)

[skip fox]

7. "I'm telling you, it's part of God's plan. . . . that Orly Taitz is blond

whereas Sarah Palin is brunette . . . .so I can tell them apart."

[Ezlivin]

8. "I've had my head THIS FAR up my own ass."

"It's terribly dark in there, I tell you. Yet I felt a peace in my soul."

[foxfeet]

9. I made a poopy THIS BIG, Mommy!

[skip fox]

10. "All I want is to ask some questions . . . Like why did Obama call this a Muslim nation?

Or like why does he want a Hitler Youth Core and federal prisons for middle-class Americans who don't agree with him? Or like why he always praises terrorists and calls adverage Americans 'stupid crackers' and 'racist honkies.' . . . Like I say, I don't want to indoctrinate people or put ideas in their heads . . . I just wanta ask some basic questions."

[skip fox]

11. " . . . and the Statue of Liberty is the biggest fascist/communist of them all.

First of all, she reading a book, and I'll just betya it's by Marx or Hitler . . . then she's holding a torch with flames that stand for the fires of revolution. . . . But what makes me certain is that it was the French who gave her to us. . . . Trying to poison us at the root!"

[skip fox]

12. "And why does Obama never speak out against world conspiracies

the Nostradamus says will be the death of our nation? And what does Obama have against white people by having mostly black relatives? And . . . ."