Rapture Day!!!! At sunset!!! Here's a million dollar idea in two words:

[skip fox]

Rapture Insurance.

Ad: "Stuck behind? No reason to be poor. Now you can lose your place in heaven but live like a king on earth. . . . Think of it a $10,000,000 benefit just for a $100 policy!!! No questions asked! . . . And we guarantee satisfaction!"

(And if not for the policy buyer--he or she will be likely too sure of his/her own place in the celestial queue--then for his/her children or pets.)

Myself, I have morals and will not soak the gullible, but if anyone else wants to fleece them, have at it.

[Mad_Dem_X]

1. If my dog isn't allowed in Heaven, I don't want to go, either.

[opihimoimoi]

2. No Cats? No OPI

[KansDem]

19. Just curious: Who changes the kitty litter in Heaven?

:shrug:

[Zoeisright]

20. Same people who pick up the dog poop.

[KansDem]

21. Well, then, this begs the question, "How are these jobs relegated?"

I mean, this is Heaven after all. But who gets the crappy jobs? Were these folks who actually enjoyed changing kitty litter and picking up dog poop while they lived on Earth? Or is there a kind of management/administrative body that tells you what to do when you get there? What happens when you refuse to do a crappy job? Are you "fired?" Do they "walk" you out of Heaven?

I really think the Rapture Ready crowd needs to address these concerns...

[Zoeisright]

31. LOL! I think we could clone a FAUX news team for all those jobs.

Because the real versions will be somewhere, well, hotter.

[opihimoimoi]

23. The Kitty Litter ReFreshener Automation Device....needs a battery every 7 billion years

[damntexdem]

9. Relax: all dogs go to heaven.

;-)

[skip fox]

13. But not all "dog lovers." (E.g., Hitler.)

n/t

[PetrusMonsFormicarum]

3. I'd much rather go to hell

All my friends are going to be there.

[pipi_k]

28. Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over - so I'll be homeless

Or else stay here and torture the earth forever.


:7

[SidDithers]

4. There was a thread about that very topic last week...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=389&topic_id=6558441

"Atheists offer to care for Christians' pets after the Rapture (no not the Onion)"

:hi:

Sid

[skip fox]

7. I guess the big G. ain't into the Humane Society.

He's really gone to the dogs sionce Noah.

[nadinbrzezinski]

5. My, my I was thinking of getting naughty

get some old clothes and just drop them willy nilly outside a megachurch.

:evilgrin:

Nah... some folks may actually get hurt.

Oh and if this IS the rapture, lets PARTY!!!!!!!

[skip fox]

6. First we spread the rumor: No Pets in Heaven (I'm sure we can find

passages in the Bible to support this like anything else), then we can do

Pet Rapture Insurance

[CrownPrinceBandar]

8. Has anyone heard from the UK?.............

How did their rapture go?

[skip fox]

12. Teeshirt: "How Did Your Rapture Go?"

And on the back: "I Guess Not Very Well."

[skip fox]

10. Hell, DU can sell the policies and use the funds to spread the DU word.

That should make everybody happy.

[Ruby the Liberal]

11. Don't give Wall Street any more ideas

They'll have these chopped up into CDOs before the ink is dry.

[skip fox]

15. The perfect "cold call" list for the snake-oil salesman: The Rapture List.

And I bet a good con-man could make a Rapture List by going on some of the crazy religious sites and claim to be collecting names of folks who are sure they will be raptured (maybe to now the houses where the pets will need fed, or . . . whatever).

Such a list would be worth $100,000 to the Glangerry-Glen-Ross types

[LeftinOH]

14. The sun has already set on most of the world by now:

OMG! We're the only ones left!

[skip fox]

16. Now we won't have to "ration health care"!!!

:)

[Arugula Latte]

17. We got Left Behind!

Kirk Cameron was right all along!

:cry:

[Horse with no Name]

18. Imagine that...here in the Bible belt

there were no unmanned vehicles.
I guess God didn't recognize the X-tians and couldn't see their t-shirts proclaiming their faith!

[rd_kent]

22. Sunset where? Its dark already in most of the world!

[flvegan]

24. But the Rapture Index is only at 163!!!!

http://www.raptureready.com/rap2.html

[Pharlo]

25. Ok, if today is The Rapture,

does that mean we can now assume anyone still here tomorrow was 'Left Behind' and point it out to them whenever they deign to tell us about how 'Christian' they are?

[skip fox]

26. Sunset comes in a few minutes here in SW Louisiana.

I'm ready to get my rapture on!

[skip fox]

27. I guess I musta lost my ticket.

:)

[skip fox]

29. Proof that Fox is becoming like the MSM: They are not covering The Rapture!

:)

[Puzzler]

30. Who's sunset? Europe's? East Coast N. America? Pacific Northwest?

Just askin'