Mormon Leader: Satan Made You Gay

[Are_grits_groceries]

Speaking to a Mormon "ex-gay" group, LDS Elder Bruce Hafen said "being gay is not in your DNA" and that if you think you are, it's because Satan is telling you so.
Hafen promised attendees, "If you are faithful, on resurrection morning -- and maybe even before then -- you will rise with normal attractions for the opposite sex." Whenever the devil -- whom Hafen referred to as "the adversary" -- tries to "convince you that you are hopelessly 'that way,' so that acting out your feelings is inevitable, he is lying," Hafen said. "He is the father of lies."

http://joemygod.blogspot.com/

And I thought I was hearing the teevee.

[Buzz Clik]

1. Satan is telling me that Elder Bruce is full of shit.

Actually, God told me the same thing. I guess I should consider the source...

[mike_c]

2. who can you believe these days....

The religiously insane, or Satan? :rofl:

[joeybee12]

3. Apparently he's telling people there's sex in heaven...

...because if on judgment day you find attraction to the opposite, certainly God isn't going to thwart your desires if you made it this far.

That said, this guy is a POS.

[Sebastian Doyle]

5. That's actually part of Mormon doctrine

They literally believe that every time a baby is born here on Earth that a spirit baby is born in Heaven. And that those spirit babies are conceived the same way - by Elohim our Heavenly Father having sex with one of his wives.

Actually, it would explain a lot about the current state of the world - God's so busy getting laid and making "spirit babies" that He no longer has time to pay attention to this planet.

[joeybee12]

7. Really? Every time i think the Mormon religion is phucked up...

...I find out something new that makes me realize it's even MORE phucked up than I imagined. :hi:

[Sebastian Doyle]

8. They also believe that Jesus & Satan are brothers.

And that the whole big fight that got Lucifer kicked out of Heaven and exiled to Hell was basically a case of "Dad always takes your side" :cry:

[Buzz Clik]

10. Jeebus and Satan Christ -- God's twin boys.

How cute.

[joeybee12]

12. You're making this up, right?

That is just way too phucked up...that's like scientology phucked up!

[Sebastian Doyle]

13. Nope.

Lots of quotes here from some big names in LDS history....

http://www.bible-truth.org/jesusbro.htm

[joeybee12]

14. My head hurts!

x(

[BoneDaddy]

4. Yet he never questions the lies

Satan is telling him regarding how to hate.

[Libertas1776]

6. That's funny,

because it just so happens I was talking to the Dark Prince over some chai last week, because we gays looove to get together with our creator when ever we get the chance :sarcasm: And he told me that he had told some tool from Vermont back in the 1830s that Adam and Eve were from the South, as well some malarkey about golden plates, and an angel named "Moron"i. Oh and then he convinced his successor and cult followers to form a theocracy out in the Utah desert. Oh man, we sure did have some laughs.

[Buzz Clik]

11. dum dum dum dum!!!!

[Stevenmarc]

9. Thank You Satan

[LeftHander]

15. Satan was in my freshman P.E.

He seduced me in the locker room with his super hot athletic body. Rippled abs...and tight buttocks...and his...well you know.

He ended up a top notch defensive end in High School.

Seeing his steely eyes staring at me from the playing field with his bright red jersey and chrome helmet still gives me chills to this day. He would point up at me and then totally take out the ball carrier on the next play.

I'll never forget him.

[and-justice-for-all]

16. I had Satan once....

now he never calls.

[Libertas1776]

17. You Too?

He sure likes to sleep around...

[and-justice-for-all]

18. oh that slut!!! nt