How to talk to complete idiots

[icymist]

Three basic options. Choose wisely, lest you go totally insane
By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist

Friday, September 25, 2009

There are three basic ways to talk to complete idiots.

The first is to assail them with facts, truths, scientific data, the commonsensical obviousness of it all. You do this in the very reasonable expectation that it will nudge them away from the ledge of their more ridiculous and paranoid misconceptions because, well, they're facts, after all, and who can dispute those?

Why, idiots can, that's who. It is exactly this sort of logical, levelheaded appeal to reason and mental acuity that's doomed to fail, simply because in the idiotosphere, facts are lies and truth is always dubious, whereas hysteria and alarmism resulting in mysterious undercarriage rashes are the only things to be relied upon.

Examples? Endless. You may, for instance, attempt to explain evolution to an extreme fundamentalist Christian. You may offer up carbon dating, the fossil record, glaciers, any one of 10,000 irrefutable proofs. You may even dare to talk about the Bible as the clever, completely manufactured, man-made piece of heavily politicized, massively edited, literary myth-making it so very much is, using all sorts of sound academic evidence and historical record.

You are, of course, insane beyond belief to try this, but sometimes you just can't help it. To the educated mind, it seems inconceivable that millions of people will choose rabid ignorance and childish fantasy over, say, a polar bear. Permafrost. Rocks. Nag Hammadi. But they will, and they do. Faced with this mountain of factual obviousness, the bewildered fundamentalist will merely leap back as if you just jabbed him with a flaming homosexual cattle prod, and then fall into a swoon about how neat it is that angels can fly.


Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2009/09/25/notes092509.DTL&nl=fix#ixzz0S94iCnOL

[Warpy]

1. That's been my policy since Stupid was rigged into office

and it has been a rigid policy of mine since 9/11 scared so many of our countrymen totally stupid. I not only use it for idiots of all persuasions, I use it for conspiracy nuts who aren't idiots but who create elegant theories they ascribe to people who are idiots.

That doesn't mean they get my tacit agreement. I will tell them that they've been suckered by a bunch of slick lies and that it's their funeral, not mine, stfu and leave me alone.

If they start to rant, I walk away then come back later and sweetly ask, "Are you done?"

However, I'm not wasting my precious time on idiots or the delusional. We really do need to shove them aside on the lunatic fringe and just concentrate on getting the real work done.

[Zoeisright]

2. Wow. Morford is right on.

Love it.

[RagAss]

3. Like trying to teach a polar bear to play the banjo !

[Echo In Light]

4. It doesn't help that we exist within a deluge of info outlets. Much debate boils down to source wars

... which of course is largely determined by one's psychology, values and ideology, and the upbringing and background that shaped and guided them toward abiding specific background assumptions. Combined with a near complete lack of ANY meaningful national discourse on an entire range of BIG issues that our citizenry should be wary of, and working to resolve...ugh

[Lucy Goosey]

5. K&R

:kick:

[donco6]

6. Shaeffer is absolutely right.

You cannot reason with these people. All you can do is glance in their direction when you hear them grunting out some vaguely unintelligible phrase, and just keep on with your normal conversation. They aren't worth the bother.

[unblock]

7. option #4: laugh in their faces.

the ONE thing you can do is make them feel embarassed about their view. you can't do this via logic or facts (you've been pre-discredited by rush), but you can make them feel like they're the high school weirdo by laughing at them. the right-wing makes them feel like they belong and have a community; all you can do is make them feel like it's a community of fools.

and you CANNOT get through to them with logic. it's a gut thing. they have to FEEL like their being laughable, not TOLD it.

[silverweb]

8. Absolutely on target.

From long personal experience, I can definitely confirm.

[me b zola]

9. K&R!

:thumbsup: