Help needed with a right-wing e-mail I received

[GCP]

My son has become brain-washed. Help with a reply please?

Once upon a time, there was a little red hen who scratched about the barnyard until she uncovered some grains of wheat.

She called her neighbors and said, "If we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me plant it?"



"Not I," said the cow.
"Not I," said the duck.
"Not I," said the pig.
"Not I," said the goose.



"Then I will," said the little red hen, and she did.

The wheat grew tall and ripened into golden grain. "Who will help me reap my wheat?" asked the little red hen.



"Not I," said the duck.
"Out of my classification," said the pig.
"I'd lose my seniority," said the cow.
"I'd lose my unemployment compensation," said the goose.



"Then I will," said the little red hen, and she did.

At last it came time to bake the bread. "Who will help me bake the bread?" asked the little red hen.



"That would be overtime for me," said the cow.
"I'd lose my welfare benefits," said the duck.
"I'm a dropout and never learned how," said the pig.
"If I'm to be the only helper, that's discrimination," said the goose.



"Then I will," said the little red hen.

She baked five loaves and held them up for her neighbors to see. They wanted some and, in fact, demanded a share.

But the little red hen said, "No, I can eat the five loaves."



"Excess profits!" cried the cow.
"Capitalist leech!" screamed the duck.
"I demand equal rights!" yelled the goose.
And the pig just grunted.



And they painted "unfair" picket signs and marched around and around the little red hen, shouting obscenities.

When the government agent came, he said to the little red hen, "You must not be greedy."

"But I earned the bread," said the little red hen.

"Exactly," said the agent. "That is the wonderful free enterprise system. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as he wants. But under our modern government regulations, the productive workers must divide their product with the idle."

And they lived happily ever after, including the little red hen, who smiled and clucked, "I am grateful. I am grateful."



But her neighbors wondered why she never again baked any more bread.

[mrcheerful]

1. Don't send me garbage again and block the sender

[Narkos]

2. Here's a good thread

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x4567595

[dbonds]

3. Its a false analogy.

The barnyard dynamics in no way reflect anything that is going on. But that is the nutter version of reality. They actually think the government is going to take money from working people to give to people who are just lazy and don't do anything. Somewhere in their messed up head they think they are the rich 1% that has the 90% of the countries resources (taken through very questionable means).

[Narkos]

4. Here's another great one!!

Once upon a time in on a farm in Michigan there lived a little red hen who scratched about in the barnyard until she found a grain of wheat.

She called all of her neighbors together and said, "If we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me plant it?"

“Not I”, said the cow, “I got laid off yesterday from my temp service job and am going to be hitting the pavement looking for a job”

“Not I”, said the duck, “Last year I lost my job when Bose left to Mexico. I joined the Guard for some training and extra income and got notified last week that I will leave for Iraq on Monday. “

“Not I”, said the pig,” I work 39 hours a week at Wal-Mart for $5.15 an hour and if I am late for work they will fire me. My take home pay of $180/week isn’t much but I need every penny I can get to pay my rent which was just raised to $400. I would help after work but by the time I get my daughter out of daycare that the government subsidizes for big corporations so I can work for sub-standard wages I barely have time to study for my GED test I am taking next week”

“Not I”, said the goose, “There is no future scratching around in the dirt. I am going to work for Halliburton or Kellogg, Brown, Root. That is where the real money is being made. I hear they are hiring now to work in Syria this spring.”

"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen. And so she did. The wheat grew very tall and ripened into golden grain.
One day a black ominous looking vehicle with tinted windows and “Monsanto Seed Police” on the door drove up. He accused Ms. Hen of growing patented wheat without purchasing grain from Monsanto.
“I scratched this seed up with my own two feet”, protested the little red hen.
“It doesn’t matter” growled the Monsanto seed police, “Under U.S. patent law, a farmer commits an offense even if they unknowingly plant Monsanto’s seeds without purchasing them from the company.”
“This is unfair”, bristled the red hen, “I am going to complain to my representative in Congress.”
“Go ahead”, laughed the burly Monsanto goon, “Monsanto has a budget of 10 million dollars and a staff of 75 devoted solely to investigating and prosecuting farmers. We also contribute millions of dollars every year to the campaigns of anyone running for office that will do our bidding. In the last several election cycles 90 percent of the money we contribute goes to Republicans. Your local government, state legislature, and all branches of the federal government are controlled by Republicans. See how far you get,” brayed the seed policeman

The next day the same black car returned. This time along with the Monsanto agent was a sheepish looking government agent, a slick looking politician and the local police. They pulled the wheat up for evidence and drove away leaving a dejected red hen in their dust

When the cow and the pig got home from work they invited the hungry hen over for dinner. While eating they discussed their old neighbors duck and goose.
“I hear duck will be home soon from Walter Reed”, said cow.
“Yeah, poor thing, I hear he lost his beak, wing, and one foot”, lamented pig. “It sure will be hard for him to find a job when he comes back”
“Goose must be doing alright working with Halliburton,” remarked red hen, “Halliburton announced on Friday that its KBR division, responsible for carrying out Pentagon contracts, experienced a 284 percent increase in operating profits during the second quarter of this year.
The increase in profits was primarily due to the Pentagon's payment of "award fees" for what military officials call "good" or "very good" work done by KBR in the Middle East for America's taxpayers and the troops.
Despite the scandals that plague KBR's military contracts, the Pentagon awarded $70 million in "award" fees to the company, along with four ratings of "excellent" and two ratings of "very good" for the troop logistics work under the Army's LOGCAP contract.
The Pentagon has provided preferential treatment to Halliburton on a number of occasions, including the concealment from the public of critical reports by military auditors.”

“Yeah”, sighed cow, “Vice President Cheney has done wonders for that company. It sure helps to know people in high places.”
“This used to be a great country”, mourned little red hen, “but something has gone seriously wrong.”

[tkmorris]

Well done sir or ma'am, as the case may be!

:applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause:

[givemebackmycountry]

7. See, now that's brilliant.

And as far as the OP's story and the brain dead son...

Dear Son, you have just been cut out from my will.

Love,

Little Red Hen.

[Ineeda]

12. This is a perfect response

why should your son get a share of your hard earned estate? What did he contribute?

[GCP]

11. That's absolutely brilliant - thank you!

:loveya:

[Narkos]

17. You're welcome!

:toast:

[alittlelark]

13. +1000

this should be an OP!

[alfredo]

5. Send them porn. If they complain, just tell them they sent something offensive,

so you decided to send them something equally offensive.

[BillDU]

6. Good question

Ask yourself
Are they idle because they don't care about themselves?
Or..
Are they idle because of bigotry and discrimination?
Payed for by billionaires.

[Hosnon]

8. This is how I would respond:

(1) The other animals' complaints about "excess profits" and capitalism are unjustified because their labor was not exploited to produce the bread. The hen did all of the direct "work" and most of the indirect "work".

(2) The distinction between direct and indirect "work" helps to illustrate why it may be unjustified for her not to share at least some of the bread. The other animals may be providing protection for the farm so that she is able to grow the wheat. Or they may supply the farmer with enough profit so that he is even able to keep the hen around (without selling her). There are an infinite number of ways in which every member of a society contributes to the output of each member. This, to me, is why libertarians fail - they cannot understand this concept (or refuse to).

Naturally, the direct "work" is the most important "work" so the hen should get most of the bread. But like anyone living in a society, you cannot truthfully claim that everything you produce was the result of only your "work".

[Another Bill C.]

9. You could point out

that 50 years ago the tax rate on incomes over $200,000 was 91%. That didn't stop anyone from wanting to become rich. Today, the highest income tax rate is 35%.

http://www.taxfoundation.org/publications/show/151.html

[GCP]

10. I think I've found a good answer

Labor unions brought benefits to every working person in America, whether they belonged to a union or not. They are primarily responsible for establishing the middle class. We take these things for granted, but none of them existed before the rise of the unions.

IF YOU HAVE:

· An eight hour workday
· A five day work week
· Paid sick days, vacation days, and holidays
· Family and medical leave
· Health, life, and disability insurance
· A pension
· Safe and healthy working conditions
· Proper job training

THEN THANK A UNION MEMBER.

[Bjorn Against]

14. Send him a copy of George Orwell's "Animal Farm"

[Motown_Johnny]

15. tell him that the land owner where the seeds were planted deserves some of the bread

as does the owner of the oven where it was baked. If they decide to help the other animals by giving a portion of the bread to them that is their choice.

Just because you plant seeds does not mean you deserve everything that comes from it. Also it takes more than wheat to make bread so others are just as deserving as theo one who grew the grain.

besides ...

That would be overtime for me," said the cow.
"I'd lose my welfare benefits," said the duck.
"I'm a dropout and never learned how," said the pig.
"If I'm to be the only helper, that's discrimination," said the goose.



is all bull shit. People do the best they can and are deserving of more respect than those comments indicate.

[ChoppinBroccoli]

16. Here In The Real World

The other animals would realize that they are hungry and desperate for food. They'll ask the hen to share her bread. Like a good, compassionate Conservative, she'll refuse. Then all the other animals will realize that they're all bigger and stronger than the hen, and their desperation will force them to break into the chicken coop, steal ALL the bread, and probably kill the little red hen.

And to think, all of this unnecessary violence, crime, and bloodshed could have been avoided simply by the hen providing the other animals with just a small percentage of the bread.

Then again, if this were the real world, the hen would hire the other animals to extract the grain, plant it, tend it, grow it, harvest it, and turn it into bread while the hen sat back and did nothing. Then the other animals would deliver the final product bread loaves to the hen, and the hen would refuse to share it because the hen "earned it with no help from anyone else." It's called Marie Antoinette Syndrome. You can stand in an ivory tower and chastise those who have less, but your sense of self-righteousness doesn't stop them from breaking into your house and forcibly taking what you won't give them voluntarily (and you could very well lose your head in the process). I'm sure all the French Aristocrats bloviated about their own goodness, work ethic, and entitlement while the Bastille was being stormed.

I've found that anytime right-wingers yammer on about people being rich because they work harder and deserve it more, all you have to do is bring up Paris Hilton. That generally shuts them up. Then you hit them with the statistic that a huge percentage of the money that the people at the top of the socio-economic ladder possess was inherited, not earned.

Or you could just add the following twist to the story: "Then Jesus showed up in the barnyard......" And the rest writes itself.

[pipi_k]

18. My reply: Where is this chicken that bakes bread, and does she do windows....

I have a steady job for her.