Socialized Trash

[Hissyspit]

Satire from an editor of the Anniston Star on the use of "socialism" as a fear term:

http://annistonstar.com/bookmark/3722392

Bob Davis: Beware Socialized Trash

Memo
From: The National Association of Private Trash Disposers
To: All concerned parties dedicated to protecting our freedoms
Subject: Socialized Trash

Greetings to all.

As you surely know, the battle has been joined. The forces of Big Government appear determined to install a complex and heavy-handed policy of government-sponsored trash collection.

Not to fear, though. All is not lost. We can stop this policy inspired from the bowels of the Kremlin. Yet we must coordinate our plan of attack. To aid our defense of hard-won freedoms, we have assembled some talking points for our various allies to employ in preventing the spread of Socialized Trash.

- snip -

2. A government trash system might mean your pickup day will change. Hope you're not attached to dragging out the trash every Tuesday morning. Socialized garbage is virtually guaranteed to change your pickup day. Imagine the lost productivity as homeowners make unnecessary trips back and forth from the curb as they try to figure out which day the Big Government Trashman dictates when and where their refuse will be collected.

- snip -

7. Government trash pickup is nowhere in the U.S. Constitution. We know many of your supporters understand it is their God-given right to burn their trash in their back yard any darn time they feel like it. Socialized trash will invariably pry those matches from the hands of freedom-loving Americans.

8. What do Socialized Trash advocates have against free enterprise? If the liberals have their way, U.S. corporations will be forced to compete against government-run trash collectors. This unfair competition will force many, if not all, of our friends out of business.

As some of you know, our leader for this effort was recently injured in a car accident. He is fine, though the rehabilitation will take months. Some of you have inquired about helping with Jim's medical bills. Not to worry.

His public-option health care is picking up the tab. Be warned: Some of our opponents are already trying to make a big deal out of this, saying opponents of Socialized Trash are hypocrites for accepting government-sponsored health care. Our advice is to ignore this fringe argument.

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[tabatha]

1. really?

[Hissyspit]

2. Satire.

[imdjh]

3. Aw, jeeze, after a full week of anarchist trash?