Ready for a new conservative bible?

[Cyrano]

The son of wingnut Phyllis Schlafly is in charge of the “Conservative Bible Project.”

http://newsweek.washingtonpost.com/onfaith/undergod/2009/10/gods_liberal_bias.html?hpid=talkbox1

Liberal bias has become the single biggest distortion in modern Bible translations," Scott Schlafly says on the project's Web site. Here's one of his examples: "The earliest, most authentic manuscripts lack this verse set forth at Luke 23:34:<7>: Jesus said, 'Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.' Is this a liberal corruption of the original? This does not appear in any other Gospel, and the simple fact is that some of the persecutors of Jesus did know what they were doing. This quotation is a favorite of liberals but should not appear in a conservative Bible."

Assuming we don’t get wiped out by global warming in this century, imagine what future versions of the Saint Schlafly bible might look like.

Jesus will look like a composite of Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck. Mary Magdalene will look something like Anne Coulter. The twelve apostles will all be wearing American flag lapel pins. Judas will look like Obama. And the sermon on the mount will glorify the virtues of greed.

Do you suppose the next conservative project will be to rewrite the Ten Commandments?

[Zoeisright]

1. Technically, that's blasphemy.

Thinking that you know better than God does.

Even though the Bible has been written, translated, and cobbled together by man.

[CJCRANE]

2. Wiki-Bible.

On edit: This project is basically admitting that the Bible is the work of men not God. Anyone can have an input in this project to rewrite the Bible, they don't need any qualifications or Divine inspiration (just a political agenda).

[Cyrano]

6. I've been thinking about rewriting the Dead Sea Scrolls, but I need

a free weekend. Anyone care to help?

[sendero]

3. So much for ...

... the inerrant word of god.

[skippy911sc]

4. It would look like

the cartoon supply side Jesus.

[jmowreader]

5. I thought we already had a Conservative Bible

It fits on a postcard because there's only one verse in it, and we all know what it is, DON'T we?

You remember when Bush did the interview where he couldn't name his favorite Bible passage? Well, the liberal media didn't give you the whole story. He was about to give the interviewer his favorite passage, only to hear Karl Rove screaming at the top of his lungs through his earpiece: "Shrub, STOP! If you tell them your favorite passage, you'll spend the rest of your life running oil companies into the ground. If you want to be president, think of a different passage, QUICK!" Well, since Shrub only really knows two passages: the first part of Jeremiah 1:5--"before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I sanctified you. I appointed you a prophet unto the nations"--and Leviticus 18:22, and Jeremiah 1:5 is a relatively obscure passage, he was gonna say Lev. 18:22. If you want to be president, you don't say Lev. 18:22 is your favorite passage. Since no one would know what he meant if he said Jer. 1:5, and Turdblossom wouldn't let him say Lev. 18:22, he was stumped.