The Conservative Bible: Where Are You, Monty Python?

[Are_grits_groceries]

In this 40th anniversary year of the comet-like appearance of “Monty Python’s Flying Circus,” nothing could give you more additional comic relief in a troubled world than a visit to www.conservapedia.com. This right-wing project, modeled after Wikipedia, encourages the rewriting of modern translations of the Bible (in which the classic 1611 King James versions is included) to correct “liberal bias.” Liberal bias like Jesus’s reported words on the cross, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:24). “Is this a liberal corruption of the original?” the editors ask rhetorically. “The simple fact is that the persecutors of Jesus DID know what they were doing.”

Then there are occasional references to modern translations, which apparently use words like “comrades” or “laborer” instead of the preferred right-wing word “volunteer.” Normally I wouldn’t care much about this—except that I do revere the King James Bible as one of the most beautiful foundational and works of English and western literature—but Conservapedia isn’t entirely funny. Is the project not dedicated to rewriting the past—in this case, the literary rather than the historical past?

Of course, the Bible in any translation can be used to prove anything that a believer already believes—as Abraham Lincoln pointed out in his Second Inaugural Address, in which he noted that both the North and the South prayed to the same God but found different answers about slavery in their scriptures.

Somehow, I’ll bet the new conservative Bible won’t excise justifications for slavery. However, there really are many passages in the Bible that can be interpreted as liberal. There’s the Sermon on the Mount, of course. Maybe the conservatives will prefer Monty Python’s “blessed are the cheesemakers” to “blessed are the peacemakers.”

Naturally, the Conservapedia crowd considers the story of Jesus’s compassionate response to the woman taken in adultery a liberal lie. Just as the far right has demonized the word “liberal” in political discourse, they want to demonize forgiveness and peace in religious discourse. Then there’s that reprehensible incident in which the Jesus drives the moneychanges out of the temple…. Socialism, pure socialism. Or Nazism.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/community/groups/index.html?plckForumPage=ForumDiscussion&plckDiscussionId=Cat%3aa70e3396-6663-4a8d-ba19-e44939d3c44fForum%3a7cceb09e-a8ae-44b4-b7af-92605cbce240Discussion%3a2a1fafa8-a4bf-4941-97d3-bc0ee2ff2a1f&hpid=talkbox1

Monty Python's version would make as much sense.

[Gman2]

1. Look, silly, it ain't just the Rambo Jesus Bible. There's merchandising.

A whole line of rambo jesus comic books, hate hymnals and a special limited edition abortion doctor assualt rifle. WITH rambo jesus signature.