Bullying isn’t just in school. It’s rampant in the workplace too.

[raccoon]

I believe it’s getting worse in the workplace.

What is bullying?

• constant nit-picking, fault-finding and criticism of a trivial nature…
• simultaneous with the criticism, a constant refusal to acknowledge you and your contributions and achievements or to recognise your existence and value
• constant attempts to undermine you and your position, status, worth, value and potential
• where you are in a group (eg at work), being singled out and treated differently; for instance, everyone else can get away with murder but the moment you put a foot wrong - however trivial - action is taken against you
• being isolated and separated from colleagues, excluded from what's going on, marginalized, overruled, ignored, sidelined, frozen out, sent to Coventry
• being belittled, demeaned and patronised, especially in front of others
• being humiliated, shouted at and threatened, often in front of others

http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/amibeing.htm


The serial bully:

• is a convincing, practised liar and when called to account, will make up anything spontaneously to fit their needs at that moment
• has a Jekyll and Hyde nature - is vile, vicious and vindictive in private, but innocent and charming in front of witnesses; no-one can (or wants to) believe this individual has a vindictive nature - only the current target of the serial bully's aggression sees both sides; whilst the Jekyll side is described as "charming" and convincing enough to deceive personnel, management and a tribunal, the Hyde side is frequently described as "evil"; Hyde is the real person, Jekyll is an act
• excels at deception and should never be underestimated in their capacity to deceive
• uses excessive charm and is always plausible and convincing when peers, superiors or others are present (charm can be used to deceive as well as to cover for lack of empathy)
• is glib, shallow and superficial with plenty of fine words and lots of form - but there's no substance

http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/serial.htm


How to Detect a Bullying Workplace BEFORE You Take the Job

• Ask why the previous person left and created the opening. Contact that former employee and get his or her version of the reason for departing. (And here you may have to read between the lines!--Raccoon)
• Inquire about turnover rates over the last three years in the group A disproportionately high rate (relative to other departments or other companies) is the red flag that bullying drives good people out.

http://www.bullybusters.org/info/detect.html

Here are some related links:

http://www.bullyonline.org/

http://www.bullyinginstitute.org/

http://www.bullybusters.org/

[Donnachaidh]

1. NO office is going to offer up the truth about someone's reason for leaving

And bullies exist in every office. I've never seen otherwise. Sometimes it's just a worker, sometimes it's the boss. :shrug:

[Clark2008]

7. We don't have any bullies where I work.

Just saying...

[Donnachaidh]

9. consider yourself EXTREMELY lucky

In all the jobs I've had, there was always at LEAST one. The hellhole jobs had bully bosses.

[indepat]

34. Decades ago I started working for a large organization in a field office of six

as the low man on the totem pole. The three previous low men on the totem pole were all big bullies/constant malicious harassers whose conduct/actions were more akin eighth-grade playground bullies rather than professionals, something I had not seen before nor have seen since. Unbelievable: I would have gotten the hell out of Dodge pronto were it not for a family to support.

Edited: grammar correction and one adjective added

[smirkymonkey]

41. And it trickles all the way down the line....

[hvn_nbr_2]

31. Hardly anyone ever tells a company the real reason they're leaving.

At least in my experience. Burning bridges and all that. So an office doesn't generally really know why someone left.

[alarimer]

45. I have one where I work I think

Although he doesn't fit that precise definition so maybe not. But creating a hostile workplace by whatever means IS a form of bullying.

[bryant69]

2. That reminds me

I need to hit Jimmy in Accounting up for his lunch money.

Bryant
Check it out --> http://politicalcomment.blogspot.com

[proud2BlibKansan]

3. It's not about bullying

Cho was delusional. He didn't kill 32 people and himself because he was bullied. He killed them because the voices in his head told him to kill them.

I think discussions about bullying are great, don't get me wrong. It just concerns me that we are now deciding he was bullied and that's why he killed people. When the reality is he was mentally ill and THAT is the only explanation we need.

[nadinbrzezinski]

22. It was part of the equation

Just as his writing was part of the equation

Just as his mental disease was part of the equation

It was... a perfect storm

[emulatorloo]

24. Agreed -- plenty of people are bullied -- but they don't go on a killing spree

I cannot recall a single day when I or my friends were not bullied in grade school etc.

None of us has gone on a killing spree.

Cho was mentally ill -- and his mind would pick any "justification" that came to hand. If it wasn't bullying it would have been that the sky was blue.

[proud2BlibKansan]

25. He was bullied by the voices in his head.

[nadinbrzezinski]

27. I know this is hard to understand but bullying IS PART of the

equaition and what leds to this perfect storm, and will lead to OTHER perfect storms

[bobbolink]

32. You're right, of course.

And you're completely right about where it's all headed.

It's part of the Imus thing, and all the other ugliness.

Why, ~~shock~~, it's even right here at DU.

But, it's popular now, and people think it's "COOL", so it will continue until there are enough "perfect storms" that enough people finally GET IT.

When so much women-bashing and other ugly name-calling crap is accepted on a popular "librul" forum, you know it's not going to go away just because it's wrong.

We're crisis oriented, and it'll have to be something *really big*, or get bad enough, like Imus, before there are any significant changes.

So, those of us who are sensitive and caring will find caves to hid in.

[etherealtruth]

43. Environmental factors do have a role ...

I'm not going to go on a killing spree if bullied, you are not ... but for someone with an underlying illness (or predisposition) an environmental stressor (such as bullying) may be more than their already damaged mind can deal with.

On the other hand we need more discussion about the ANTISOCIAL behavior of bullying.

[iconoclastic cat]

4. The high turnover could be a lot things other than bullying, though.

Where I work, the people are fantastic, but the turnover is massive because of some of the horrible decisions by the executives and upper management. People here feel like this thing could go under at any second, and are looking to get out. When their replacements are hired, they figure it out in a few months, and usually find a new job in a year. There isn't anyone here, including myself, who's been here for 24 months (and I'll be impressed if the company stays afloat up to my anniversary).

[Triana]

5. DAMN right...I've experienced it multiple times over the years...

...it's epidemic in the workplace, IMO. If you're female, it can be even worse, but it happens to A LOT of people, regardless.

[no_hypocrisy]

6. Tell me about it. Five years ago I quit my job after my boss hit me.

On the arm. After screaming and yelling. Because he didn't want to talk to a client, was feeding me a complicated message to relay, I botched up 2 words, and the message wasn't what he wanted.

I couldn't prosecute as he used to be the municipal prosecutor in the town where it happened.

[Blue Diadem]

10. Me too nh, I got smacked in the chest

by one boss. I asked him where I'd find something he moved, he found it, picked it up and slammed it into my chest..right in front of a customer too. He'd round-about accuse customers of taking stuff by screaming and shouting that a product disappeared, it was just there, where did it go..while the customer was standing there. I'll never forget one male customer who nearly cried during his tirade.

He was fired after hitting me and I later found out he'd been ripping our store off and district knew about it. Because he was young, our district manager didn't want to give him a record..so it was heavily suggested that I not press charges. After he was fired, he kept showing up at closing time, often while I was the only one in the store. It was a very frightening time and I finally quit.

[no_hypocrisy]

14. Jesus!

[Rosemary2205]

8. We even have bullies on DU. They are everywhere.

Yes, I know we like to call them trolls but lets face it, there are just some people in this world that can't function unless they are making life unhappy for someone, anyone, else.

They drive like agressive jackasses
They cut in line, push people at the ballgames and concerts
They are assholes at work
They treat every store clerk like shit
They get online just to start shit and belittle other people.

I made a post not too long ago that I think it should be legal to shoot these people. I was mostly kidding, but the frustration is real. I am a big girl now and can defend myself just fine against these assholes but geesh it sure would be nice to just get through a whole week without having to defend myself against an asshole.

Fortunately my job is a bully free zone and is likely to stay that way because we just don't tolerate that crap.

[SayWhatYo]

12. All internet posters should be armed.

[Rosemary2205]

13. Well I've got 2 of um.

A left arm and a right arm. - they work much better than my legs too. so you better watch out! HAHA :)

[raccoon]

15. You got that right, "there are just some people in this world that can't function unless they are

making life unhappy for someone, anyone, else. "

I don't understand the thinking of these creeps, unless they're just so miserable they want to see somebody else more miserable than they are.

[SayWhatYo]

11. That's why all workers should be armed. No more bullying in the work place...

hehehe :P

I'm kidding of course.

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

16. Hey, we can't ALL work in the post office!

Maybe just a little rocket launcher, to take out the Powerpoint projector

:rofl:

[Xmark]

17. Bullying

Another classic bullying tactic is to turn things around, so that THEY'RE the victims.

"Where's your sense of humor?"

"Can't I say ANYTHING to you?"

"I have to walk on egg-shells; stop being so sensitive!"

[bobbolink]

39. You're so right, and welcome to DU!

:toast: :hi: :toast:

You sure hit the target with those responses! Just like a bully.

And, yes, plenty of 'em here on DU who talk just like that.

I'm so much in need of some peace and quiet and a tiny bit of nurturing on the side.....

[meldroc]

18. The worst ones are the ones in positions of power.

That's what pisses me off the most about these sociopaths - while everyone else looks at their actions and thinks "Asshole!" the managers look at them and think "Hard-driving go-getter!" and before long, they get promoted.

Nothing, and I mean nothing is worse than a bully boss.

Especially the bully bosses in the White House.

[bobbolink]

40. I got one thing worse for ya....

A landlord bully!

At least at work, you can leave it after x number of hours.

Your home, where the manager lives there, is never safe, and becomes a prison.

It's ugly, it drains your soul, and there is no escape. Can't even have a quiet night, because you never know when the asshole is gonna assert himself.

It's especially prevalent in public housing, because there is NO OVERSIGHT, and no recourse for tenants!

I don't mean to be competitive... my headline was a bit droll, because of your statement, but really, living with an abusive apartment manager is sheer hell.

Here's to safe working conditions, and safe living conditions. :toast:

[JVS]

19. There are bullies everywhere except in your personal shack in the woods

I think that shack has become the new American Dream

[smirkymonkey]

42. Where you can sit and make your package bombs in peace.

*just kidding mods* heh heh ;)

[MindPilot]

20. I don't wish ill on anyone, buuuut, sometimes karma finds it's mark

I had a bully of a boss--he couldn't speak without yelling and nothing was ever his responsibility. A couple of years after I left that job I found he had died from throat cancer.

A kid who bullied me (and others) in grade school and into the first year of high school, became a severe alcoholic and was dead before he saw 40.

[Diane R]

21. GWB fits that description perfectly. He's a classic bully, enabled by his family's power.

[leftofthedial]

23. Bullying is the overarching motif for the rise of "conservatism" (fascism)

in the US.

Where there is capitalism, there will be bullies in charge.

[Celebration]

26. Can't agree more!!

Most of my working life I have been in a great situation, but there was this one boss I had that was obviously undiagnosed bipolar. He bullied both the secretary and an accountant that worked there. Then he cheated on his wife on business trips and finally all of us quit.

The results of being bullied as an adult can be drastic. I practice reiki, and several times I have noted that a lot of people with cancer (I volunteered at a cancer clinic doing reiki) had their cancer start about a year after being victims of workplace bullying. It is just a horrendous powerless feeling that can develop when one is dependent on the income from a job and has to put up with stuff like that.

I really wish everyone would stand up for themselves. But often they can't because of reasons of their personality or won't because of being dependent on a job.

Note: I don't expect all to agree with this, but from my experience being bullied can cause rips and tears in the aura. After that happens, all holy **** can happen.

[bobbolink]

28. Fine list you've put together! Describes some DUers to a "T"

Yes, we need to clean our own house, before pointing fingers.

What's allowed here fits into your description of workplace harrassment.

[AZBlue]

29. K&R!!!!

[Manifestor_of_Light]

30. I was hit in the head by a district judge.

A female district judge hit me in the head with a rolled up piece of paper.
I was tired after a long day of jury selection. She asked me if I was in school, since it was summer (night law school). I said "No." She was an ex cop and really hardcore anti-drugs. So I told her "Judge, I'm NOT on drugs". She walked three steps, did a double take with her mouth open and turned around and hit me in the head with a rolled up piece of paper.

Also I was staying late after work, working on a criminal jury charge, which is complicated and nobody was there but me and the prosecutor. The Asst. D.A. cornered me and whipped it out and committed indecent exposure on me. I was terrified. He eventually put it back because he was like a proud four year old. I didn't report him to the elected D.A. but I should have.

I was a court reporter for many years and I got burned out from the high stress FAST.

[Irreverend IX]

33. There is, apparently, a whole ton of bullying going on behind the scenes at my job.

About a fifth of the people there have quit in the last two months, leaving letters detailing how two or three people were intimidating and harassing them. This never happens to me and I've been completely unaware of the whole thing, but I wonder what could be done to stop it. My time at this job is growing short anyway, and maybe that's for the better.

[agincourt]

35. Sounds so much like a boss I had once

Would brown-nose the office people until his nose fell off so that he could treat people under him like shit. Constantly lying about people's performance, falsified documents to get people fired or wrote up. Would play the victim when he couldn't screw the people under him. Throws belligerent tantrums at workers on the floor. Always getting in people's face and belittling them. Would use new people to try to get long term workers fired. Would use personal information against people after trying to get chummy with them. He would tell lies about what people said to create friction between them, play one against the other. Would be anal-retentive about people's work and would try to make 20 dollar mistakes out of 50 cent ones. When he'd try so screw an employee under him he would say he's doing it for the company or to keep the customer satisfied. Would lie about company rules to give himself more power. Would never give an employee a raise, unless they helped him screw another employee. Yeah, all sounds too familiar.

[fortyfeetunder]

36. Managers, it does not pay to bully your employees!

I am sitting and eating my virtual popcorn at work because I am observing a manager who was trying to bully the organization. Since this manager's arrival, more than half of the staff has left, and most of the remaining ones are out looking.

[Berry Cool]

37. I had a bully boss once.

Threatened to fire me for months. At first I thought it was just me, but I called a coworker on the phone at her home and discovered it was not--she was like that to everybody she supervised. Her stupidity? She treated her superiors with just as much contempt. She ended up being forced to resign before she had a chance to fire me. Yessssss.

[bobbolink]

38. Thanks so very much for posting this!

I found some very good info on one of the pages that I will use to try to educate some totally ignorant people.

Do you think there's any hope at all that we can become civilized in my lifetime?

:cry:

Thank you again!

[etherealtruth]

44. thank you so much for this post ....

I am at a relatively new job that I despise ... the fact that I am in this situation is very unsettling to me as I have never truly despised a job before (I've had less than wonderful jobs ...but have always been able to be happy).

Reading this was like having an epiphany ...the situations and behaviors are exactly what I am experiencing ... and yes my particular department has a history of being unable to retain employees.

Again, thank you