In my "heartland" family values Repuke town...

[Neecy]

I had to run to the hardware store this afternoon, so I went to our tiny downtown and pulled in next to the inevitable pick-up truck.

As I prepared to get out of my car, I noticed two large bumper stickers pasted on the door of the truck. Apparently these bumper stickers were so precious and important that he had what appeared to be saran wrap taped over them to protect them from the weather.

The first had a drawing of two tacos and said, THEY WERE MADE TO LOOK LIKE TACOS BECAUSE WE WERE MEANT TO EAT THEM

The next said CARPE SCROTUM; GRAB LIFE BY THE BALLS

Real family values, eh, to be parading this crap around little kids?

I figured the idiot inside would be about 20. Instead it was a guy around 60, gross and ugly, wearing those dark glasses you get free from the eye doctor after you've had your eyes dilated. A real prize, I'm sure those TACOS must just be flocking for this catch!

I couldn't help it. I took one look at him and burst out laughing and I laughed all the way into the hardware store. Maybe he'll get the message that this crap isn't exactly a chick magnet.

I've only lived here since April, but I could write a book about these vaunted "heartland values". Meth, alcoholism, illiteracy, spousal abuse, poverty like NOTHING I've ever seen in a city - we've got it all, folks. I'll put my blue state values up against this any day.

[MineralMan]

1. Uff da! What a loser!

They're everywhere, it seems.

[Skittles]

28. OMG, I am FLASHBACKING to grandma in Minnesota

UFF DA!!

[Quantess]

2. Tacos? Was that some sort of vaginal reference?

[Neecy]

3. yup

A "hairy taco" is slang for vagina. I haven't heard it since junior high, though.

[Quantess]

4. There is/was a lesbian bar in Las Vegas called "The Pink Taco"

Anyway, I would feel violated just stepping into that convenience store.

[blueamy66]

33. There is also a "Mexican" restaurant in The Hard Rock Hotel in Vegas

called the Pink Taco. I refuse to spend a penny in there.

My fiance got sick on the food there and I told him that it served him right.

Stupid ass name for a restaurant.

[dugaresa]

6. not to divert off topic, but I remember that slang term too

and i recently went to a restaurant where they were serving fish tacos and I started to laugh hysterically like a teenager and my husband thought I had lost my mind and had never heard of that use of the word "taco"

[imdjh]

13. I know. You drive down Gulf Blvd and the signs say "Fish Tacos!" and I'm thinking, "Ewwwwwe." nt

[dugaresa]

15. i am glad i am not the only one who has the same reaction

[Skittles]

27. yes and apparently, tacos were created before women

[Gold Metal Flake]

5. Uh oh, taco.

:popcorn:

[thereismore]

9. Ground beef with hamburger helper sauce in a taco shell. This passes for a taco at

Taco Bell. Yuck.

[Gold Metal Flake]

18. Your post is so irrelevent to mine.

You should read the Lounge more.

[thereismore]

21. Sure it's irrelevant. But the image you posted made me do it. nt

[Gold Metal Flake]

25. I admit, it was the first one on Google Images.

It was bright, clean, without text and not too large or too small.

Wait, what were we talking about?

[MineralMan]

7. Very sadly, there are more ugly names for

female genitalia than I can believe. Most created by men, who spend a good deal of their lives trying to have sex with every woman they can. It's pretty puzzling, actually. They curse what they want. I've never understood that one, and probably never will.

[imdjh]

10. I was having a drink at the Bearded Clam one night when it occurred to me that the name of the bar..

... was strange. So I asked the bartender what a bearded clam was, and he looked at me with some disbelief and said, "I'll give you a hint. Last year it was called the Bearded Nail."

[Quantess]

31. There is humor involved. And there is also resentment toward women.

Those factors combined as a truth, sheds light on the motivation of a lot of the mainstream entertainment media.

I can laugh at the worst sexual innuendoes, but maybe that's because I'm already 39 and I lived in San Francisco. Maybe, but I don't think so. What about beef curtains?

But hey, the guy wants to eat a taco. He wishes. :rofl:

[tularetom]

8. Welcome to our town

You didn't say you had moved here in April, but the way you described the place, it couldn't be anywhere else.

[Neecy]

11. We're probably similar....

Except for the accents. I'm on the KS/OK border, so it's also Jesusville, which makes my list of lacking-in-any-values-whatsoever even more astounding.

[Echo In Light]

12. There's the stuffy, "old fashioned" cons, and the misogynistic, beer swillin' macho man (and women)

... type of cons

[lpbk2713]

14. Dumbya must be his role model.

They both stopped developing intellectually at around age twelve.

[imdjh]

16. By the way

Not all pick ups are Republicans.

[Neecy]

17. Nice truck!

No, they aren't. Everyone here has one because no one delivers large items to the boonies and if you need an appliance or similar you have to haul it in yourself from Tulsa. Pickups are handy. I'll probably break down and get one at some point.

[XOKCowboy]

20. Sounds like you're down in my old neck of the woods...

Welcome to the heartland. I have to say that last October I saw hundreds of Obama yard signs even out in the country. Mostly union members but still I was surprised to say the least.

[lunatica]

19. Too bad you couldn't tape a tea bag on the one that says CARPE SCROTUM

[Neecy]

22. lol

I need to start keeping one in my glove compartment, since I'm sure to run into Mr. Wonderful again.

[Shagbark Hickory]

23. Someone probably pasted them on there as a joke. Old coot probly doesn't know they are there. n/t

[Neecy]

24. They were on the driver's door

And the saran wrap was pretty frayed, so they've been there a while.

I wonder if it's possible to be illiterate enough to not be able to read them, but not so illiterate that you can pass a driving test? I need to ponder this.

[Shagbark Hickory]

26. You mentioned the big dark glasses.... Did it cross your mind that he couldn't see out of them? nt

[Neecy]

29. No, it didn't

He was driving the vehicle, so if he couldn't see the stickers the whole town is in serious danger.

[Shagbark Hickory]

32. Half the old people driving can't see. Try living in FL for a while.

There's cars ending up in canals constantly.

[Kansas Wyatt]

30. Did he have one of those bull balls hanging from his hitch too?

You know, those stupid ball sacks people have hanging from their pick-ups, just to let everyone know that have big balls... Along with their little brain and tiny penis.