Saving Grace: One Family's Struggle With Abortion and the Catholic Church

[Blue State Blues]

A moving article about a Catholic couple's personal experience. After learning at 27 weeks that their unborn child would require multiple, invasive surgeries which would not only compromise quality of life, but with no guarantee that even a month or a year could be added to that life ... and at best, not much more than that, they made the painful, personal decision to end the pregnancy.

"We are Catholic. We are supposed to be against abortion, but the church teaches mercy as well. The church examines quality of life. It isn't a black and white issue as so many like to make it," Robert says, looking away while fondling with his fingers the golden crucifix he wears around his neck.

They went to Dr. Tiller's clinic in Kansas.

Explaining the procedure to the Andersons and the efforts the clinic would make to help them memorialize their child, Dr. Tiller showed the Andersons the compassion and support they so badly wished they had received from their neighbors and friends.

The next day as they arrived at the clinic, they found themselves surrounded by protesters chanting, begging the Andersons to change their mind and group of children holding a pro-life model of a fetus while calling the Andersons murderers, telling the Andersons that God would not save their souls for taking away the life of another. What was already a traumatic experience was now infused with guilt, panic and fear.

"The staff was respectful and allowed me to have a little bit of dignity where I didn't think I had any left. It made me sad that I didn't get that from my friends or my religious community, but from strangers in a hospital setting. To this day, I am bitter about that," Gail confessed.

and

The Andersons have not left the Catholic Church, still strong in their faith, believing that the church has begun to rely too much on the word of man rather than church teachings, becoming dangerously involved in politics and losing sight that the world simply is not black and white.

It is well-worth reading the entire article at http://www.truthout.org/1203097

[Better Today]

1. Morons, self-imposed victimology. Some entity treats you badly

and you stay with them and "still have strong faith". WTF is the matter with people?

[SharonAnn]

3. I left many years ago because of how they treated me and all women. I'm angry now because

during my husband's terminal illness I cannot go to the Church for the support I need, knowing that they still treat women that way. I just cannot voluntarily belong to or support in any way an organization that doesn't allow women to participate in the leadership.

Though some individual Catholics have reached out to provide me support, even more non-Catholics have reached out.

After I read Garry Wills book about the papacy and how the Church got off track with "infallibility" (a more complex subject and decision than I had realized), I understood better why I have so many problem with the "man-made" version of Christ's Church.

BTW, Lord Acton's famous statement "Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely" was made during his fight against the confirmation of the doctrine of "Infallibility".

[Better Today]

4. There are non-religious support groups. Also there are religions that

are less full of BS. Do you have a unitarian or ba'hai nearby (I'm an atheist, but I hear these two are good for treating people, including women, with love and respect.)

[vadawg]

5. im always intrigued when people post about maybe catholics should go to the piskies, or the unies

not sure about other people but if you really believe in a doctrine can you really just go to another church and have faith in what they are saying.. i always liken it to asking someone who is jewish to leave the temple and go worship at the chapel, does it really work??

[Better Today]

6. I have no idea, being atheist. However she was discussing support of a group

at least that was my reading of it. Hence I made a suggestion. Since #1 there isn't really a god, it seems to me any group that has indications of meaningful unity should suffice. And #2 since most religions today seem to clamp on to the same mythical god (ie allah, god (jewish or otherwise)) are supposedly the same god, it seems to me irrelevant by which manner one chooses to associate with those worshipping the same mythical entity.

[vadawg]

7. yup at least your honest in that you dont know what you are talking about

when it comes to the faith of others, people just lump all religions together without understanding that the individual religions have the same thoughts that you do towards each other, ie that all the other religions are just blowing smoke and that they are the one true religion. Thats the poing i was making i could no more attend an episcapalian church or mosque than i could believe the same as an athiest like yourself.

[Better Today]

8. Hey, I was just trying to help and be compassionate to someone's need.

I disqualified my remark before I even made it, by announcing my atheism. Sorry if I offended.

[undeterred]

2. I knew a Catholic who was pregnant with her first child

when she was diagnosed with leukemeia. Since it was very early in the pregnancy and she would have no chance at survival without treatment, the doctors advised her to terminate. The couple talked to a priest and he agreed... but in a way that still made her feel horrible about it. She died within a year anyway. I just wish people would put compassion for the living first.