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Pentagon: Zombie Pigs First, Then Hibernating Soldiers

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The Straight Story Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-05-09 10:17 AM
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Pentagon: Zombie Pigs First, Then Hibernating Soldiers
Pentagon: Zombie Pigs First, Then Hibernating Soldiers


Around half of U.S. troop fatalities are caused by blood loss from battlefield injuries. Now, with another 30,000 troops deploying to Afghanistan, the Pentagon is pushing for medical advances that can save more lives during combat. The Defense Department’s latest research idea: Stop bleeding injuries by turning pigs into the semi-undead. If it works out, we humans could be the next ones to be zombified.

Military’s mad-science arm Darpa has awarded $9.9 million to the Texas A&M Institute for Preclinical Studies (TIPS), to develop treatments that can extend a “golden period” when injured war fighters have the best chance of coming back from massive blood loss. Odds of survival plummet after an hour — during combat, that kind of quick evacuation, triage and treatment is often impossible.

The institute’s research will be based on previous Darpa-funded efforts. One project, at Stanford University, hypothesized that humans could one day mimic the hibernation abilities of squirrels — who emerge from winter months no worse for wear — using a pancreatic enzyme we have in common with the critters. The other, led by Dr. Mark Roth at the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center, used nematode worms and rats to test how hydrogen sulfide could block the body’s ability to use oxygen — creating a kind of “suspended animation” where hearts stop beating and wounds don’t bleed. After removing 60 percent of the rat’s blood, Dr. Roth managed to keep the critters alive for 10 hours using his hydrogen sulfide cocktail.

The next logical step: Try the same thing on pigs. They’ve got a similar cardiovascular system to humans, and TIPS researchers Theresa Fossum and Matthew Miller think they can accurately predict human results from the swine trials. Using anesthetized pigs, the doctors are testing various compounds, some containing hydrogen sulfide, to find one that can safely keep the hemorrhaging animals “as close to death as possible.”

With a 15-person team working exclusively on the project, the institute anticipates successful results within 18 months. “Darpa wants this to happen yesterday, because it was needed yesterday,” Dr. Miller told Danger Room. Once the team comes up with the right elixir, it’ll undergo federally mandated safety testing. After that, the zombie vaccine will be sent to the battlefield for human application.

http://www.wired.com/dangerroom/2009/12/pentagon-zombie-pigs-first-then-hibernating-gis/
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RUMMYisFROSTED Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-05-09 10:30 AM
Response to Original message
1. 100% effective solution:
Stop the war.

:think:
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unpossibles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-05-09 10:32 AM
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2. simultaneously fascinating, scary and awesome. nt
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The Straight Story Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-05-09 10:35 AM
Response to Reply #2
3. are you referring to me or the article?
:rofl:
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unpossibles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-05-09 12:05 PM
Response to Reply #3
7. HAHAHA! nice.
And I can relate... :fistbump:
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MilesColtrane Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-05-09 10:44 AM
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4. Oh, those wacky Wired writers.
"zombie vaccine" "mad science"...

Yes, let's try to turn the development of what could be an important medical breakthrough into a crap-your-pants-worthy scare story.
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FormerDittoHead Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-05-09 11:04 AM
Response to Original message
5. Where's are the trials being done? Raccoon city? n/t
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symbolman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-05-09 12:03 PM
Response to Original message
6. Use Limbaugh Dittoheads
They're halfway there already.. Or Glenn Beck's minions..

Mp3s of Wolf Blitzer's voice could work too.. Sheer Ambien
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Robb Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-05-09 12:09 PM
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8. See? The war is the moral equivalent of the space program!!
Think of all the advances we wouldn't have if not for the war!

...Like, uh, zombie pigs. :D
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kenny blankenship Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-05-09 12:13 PM
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9. And what happens to the brain during this lacuna without blood flow?
Are we sure we want to be brought back from death if we must live on severely brain damaged?
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Earth_First Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-05-09 12:14 PM
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10. So the project is based on the Afghan battlefield...
with results expected in 18 months.

...doesn't the withdrawl begin in 18 months?
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backscatter712 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-05-09 12:30 PM
Response to Original message
11. This could be useful in the civilian world as well.
It can buy time for surgeons, say, working on car accident victims.

Or it can be used to temporarily stop the heart for extensive procedures.

Or it can better preserve organs for transplants.

This could be good medical technology to develop
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WilliamPitt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-05-09 12:33 PM
Response to Original message
12. "The government has been experimenting with pig warriors since the 1950s!" - Cosmo Kramer
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