Who's Coming for Christmas this year to Your House? A Holiday RANT!

[KoKo]

Are you having the usual fest of warring relatives that get you depressed who complain about everything from the time they walk in the door until they leave? And, to make it worse, they send e-mails around about how much they suffered flying or driving to get to your house for Christmas, and they will never do it again?

Have "errant children who are doing their own thing" spending Christmas in places you would never have imagined and some with "partners" you have worries about?

Have any relatives who just "do the rounds from Place to Place every year...and THIS YEAR it's Your Turn..and you never could stand them...know they are just there "to be seen" and you wish you didn't ever have to invite them...but you are stuck?

Have kids who are "Sooooo....BORED...with that CHRISTMAS THINGY"...and they are going to find ways to get out with girlfriends/boyfriends and ANY FRIEND...who will DELIVER THEM from that BORING DRUDGERY of FAKENESS we just HAVE to GO THROUGH EVERY YEAR...so "You GUYS" (My Parents and Relatives) will FEEL LOVED? These are the kids who will make sure that the relatives will never see them...and YOU are STUCK answering questions about all the toys/gifts that Aunt Sally and Uncle Henry sent the kids for years...AND WHERE ARE THEY? How do you explain that the kids hated the gifts...didn't ever like you and just don't want to see you because they have their OWN LIFE?

Have many Relatives and Kids who have "FOOD ISSUES" ...and you just don't know what the Hell to Cook? So you are going to do "Take In" for Vegan/Gluten Free/Low Carb/Fat Free...and the rest? Did you ever want to YELL! BRING YOUR OWN DAMNED FOOD! I AM NOT A CATERER!

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Any of you have these incredible "CHRISTMAS HORRENDOUS?" Anyone want to share stories about what they are anticipating from years past....but how they MIGHT CHANGE THE DIALOG for THIS YEAR?

I never dreaded Holidays...but each year it gets more DIFFICULT.

ANYONE HAVE A RANT about "CHANGING TIMES?" Is it worth it for Families to TRY to GET TOGETHER, ANYMORE??? :shrug:

[graywarrior]

1. No one.

I won't be here. I'm escaping to the north lands.

[bbinacan]

2. I have none of these experiences.

I love my family.

[Texasgal]

4. I'm with you.

I will be having a nice holiday with my family as well.

[jwirr]

7. There will be at least 4 different families at our home - related through

one marriage or another. We do it every year and we have fun. None of what the OP above is describing. It is for us a time to renew our family ties.

[Blue_In_AK]

3. All I have to say is

I'm glad my kids are grown, and I thank the Goddess every year that I don't have to deal with my ex-husband's wacko family anymore. They pretty much ruined Christmas for me for the remainder of my life.

[Skittles]

5. could I ask you something please

why does anyone put themselves through such garbage - NO ONE IS MAKING YOU - just say no to all that phony good cheer crap, send 'em Christmas cards, settle down and RELAX

[dixiegrrrrl]

17. Best Christmas gift I gave myself many years ago was the freedom to say NO.

And dumped the guilt button.
For years I volunteered at a local food bank and a homeless shelter over the holiday weekend.
No one in my family could argue with that.

[Skittles]

20. good idea, dixiegrrrrl

every year I see/hear people complaining about holiday stress yet it never seems to occur to them to JUST SAY NO.

[drdtroit]

6. I love my family and can't wait to see them all! n/t

[endless october]

8. findeth the jack of daniels.

dulang, dulang.

[iris27]

9. I get it from the other end.

Are you having the usual fest of warring relatives that get you depressed who complain about everything from the time they walk in the door until they leave? And, to make it worse, they send e-mails around about how much they suffered flying or driving to get to your house for Christmas, and they will never do it again?

I have an aunt who insists that Christmas be at her house every year because the rest of us live "too far away" for her to drive. Because the drive is magically shorter if WE are driving to HER house? I dunno.

But then, having decided to be the perpetual host, she still bitches constantly about the cleaning and cooking involved, even though all of us bring a dish and help clean up...mostly she means the cleaning involved to get her place from "pigsty" to "presentable for company" in the first place.

BUT, if we don't go, which is what I've opted to do the last couple years, she bitches me out for "ignoring your grandmother on Christmas". Well, that's because I'm trying to ignore YOU (!!) and I will find a way to spend time with my grandma when you are not around.

Ugh.

[havocmom]

10. No one is coming. Family far away, or dead

People can rant and complain all they want, but they might just be wasting precious time with people they love, even if they don't like them very much.

A little old lady once took my hand one very harried holiday season. I had just wished her a prefunctory "Merry Christmas" and looked to the next customer I had to face. She looked up at me and replied "Yes dear, it IS what you make of it."

She changed my life, slowed my pace, gave me much to think about re living in the moment.

Then, years later, again, going too fast, doing too much, trying to live up to everyone's holiday expectations, I snapped. The memory of that old lady came back to haunt me (Yes, Virginia, there are ghosts of Christmas past).

"Yes dear, it IS what you make of it."

I swore to myself I would only do what I wanted to, was up for, was able to afford in time & money for the next year's Christmas, and all those to follow. Started really enjoying the season again.

Now, I get lonely sometimes, missing a few friends and kin so far away, or gone, but I take time, avoid what I don't enjoy, savor the moments that seem to happen if you are moving slow enough to notice miracles happening all around you.

I wish there could be one more Christmas with my mom, my nephew. I don't know if there will be any more Christmases at all for me or family I may get to share holidays with in the future. Makes me sad. But makes me savor the candle, the hand that holds mine each evening, the feel of my dog at my feet.

Memories can dance in my head, and not all of them are happy as sugar plum fairies. But I savor and reflect.

Avoid some of the fuss, DU, as much as you can. But enjoy the trials kin can put you through. Find something to savor, cling to, hang on to for the bad times.

Have yourselves a Merry Little Christmas. Kiss that relative you dread the most. It might help, but at least it will make them very nervous. :evilgrin:

[KoKo]

13. Nice Post...havocmom...thanks for sharing. Keeping Perspective...

it's a good thing. :hug:

[LuckyLib]

14. Well said. I try to step back and get to a very peaceful place with family at the holidays.

Leave all the old stuff behind for a short time, smile and nod, smile and nod. Lots of our family members just need someone to listen.

[Morning Dew]

16. Thank you for that post.

Beautiful.

[DesertRat]

11. We have a small family and we enjoy each other's company

We'll have Christmas at my house and I'm really looking forward to it.

If our Christmas was as you described, I would opt out!

Peace.

[KoKo]

18. Blessed are You...Really... I don't want to sound like curmudgeon...

but years ago...when kids were very small we had wonderful holidays...but as families morphed and going back and forth between spouses and doing turns and kids grew and some married..and it's gone on...the CULTURAL CHANGES...have become very vexing to deal with.

I wish I could go back to those simpler times...it was a beautiful thing..I hold in memory. One Thanksgiving with all the little kids and us old sleds we dragged from Grandparents house to go out on the trail back to the "swimming hole" all five brothers on hubby's side had spent Summers having great times. We took all the kids back there, down the trail. It was a beautiful holiday. We watched old Disney movies and all had a good time..exhausted happy and getting along.

So there are good memories. But...times have changed...I guess that's normal...that texting/video games/family spats and folks having food problems and medication problems are now part of what is important these days for everyone. I was noticing the change in my rant.

Not trying to diss those of you who still have preserved the "best of what holidays with family" are what we hope for. :hug:

[Subdivisions]

12. I'm dreaming of a redneck Christmas. My family, excepting me, is

apolitical and could care less about what's going on outside thier own small worlds. The ones who don't have jobs don't want to work and a clueless about the jobs situation. All are so poor the recession means nothing. As long as they have their beer, their drugs, and their babies, they're happy. Christmas, to them, is like hitting the jackpot once a year. With the exception of maybe an alcohol-induced brawl, and even with, all will be festive and fine. My biggest problem will be finding someone to discuss anything subtantive with. Therefore, I spend the season looking forward to a good old-fashioned Texas redneck Christmas.

http://andycouch.com/whitetrashxmas/

[seemunkee]

15. Heading to Mexico

with the wife and kids and my brother's family. Love my family and wish we would all get together more often. The trip is everyone's gift so only have a few nephews to send something to.

Sorry you are not looking forward to a pleasant holiday, stock the bar.

[cherokeeprogressive]

19. You describe an absolutely alien situation. I feel for anyone who has the experiences you describe.

Wow. I never realized there were so many people who worked so hard not to enjoy what should be the most enjoyable thing there is: Gathering your family around and celebrating their presence, if nothing else.

I love my life...