fuels if you don't believe in the fossil evidence?
I've joked before* that they are connected in a religion--but the more I think about it, the less funny I find it, since so many of the same earnest faces (like Palin or Inhofe) who scoff at both, are basically fundamentalist. I've heard actually statements read into the hearings on climate change where, without irony, the notion of the sea rising is scoffed at because the Bible said the God would never bring another flood--and you can hang a rainbow on that, buster! (That was John Shimkus, last seen slinking out on the same Obama speech where Joe Wilson said "You lie!" and Louie Gohmert looked like a tool and a half with a homemade sign asking where the bill--which he presumably should have seen, being in congress--was. Leaving was actually classy in comparison. One could believe he really had to pee or something, but no. He admitted he wasn't hearing anything new. As he wasn't. And I'm sure he had a Bible to get back to.)
I might cook up a whole book of the Petroleum Tree religion, but this is what I have so far:
At the center of the world, which is hollow, is the Petroleum tree, which was planted by God on or about the fifth day. He in his infinite wisdom expected the humans to drill into it someday, which is why he made it before men, and put it underground. Yea, put in in the very firmament, where it sank.
The petroleum tree branches out all under the span of the globe, but the branches are usually located where the hearts of men are hardened, so there shall be wars and rumors of wars, or whatever works. But it's war over God's own Petroleum tree--so it's holy. It also branches out in really inconvenient places, like under the sea. But drilling under the sea for it will be like tapping a keg--because yea verily, the results of the neverending flow will be immediate, for the tree representeth the power and the glory of the wishful-thinking--pretty much, amen.
And lo, the tree is that which makes petroleum as its fruit, so it is renewable. For it is written, "By their fruits shall ye know them" and we have tasted of the fruit of the Petroleum Tree, and found it good.
The heathen will call the fruit of the Petroleum tree "fossil fuel" for they are heathen, and believeth in fossils, and think that the earth was very old, but that the supply of oil be finite. But the true believer knows that the world is young, and the tree is old, and the fuel is forever and ever, heating the mansions in heaven of the faithful, and fueling the furnace of those that disbelieveth in the Petroleum tree. For they are the suckage, and fall into the iniquities of solar and wind-powered heresies. Which are renewable and do not come from God, or a Commodities market. For these renewable enegies speak of independence, and not fealty to the Lord of the Petroleum tree.
For in it's trunk the Petroleum tree burneth, and that with a mighty fire. And out of the burning mouth, it spake thus:
You have been weighed in the balance, and found wanting--that is demand. Although I am everflowing, there is still only so much of me to go around. So I visit you with plagues of high pump prices and home heating costs, for I am Supply. And for those that yield unto me, I will make their cup runneth over with gas cards. And those that serveth me best, will experience record profits. But woe be unto him who purchases a Hybrid. For his car will be ridiculed.
And inflate thee not thy tires, for my name's sake. For every drop of mine is sacred. But all must be consumed.
And though you could conserve--thou shalt not, for mine is the Way, and the Energy, and the thing making your chariot go, m-f'er.
Tired old link to me being that way:
http://journals.democraticunderground.com/vixengrl/24Also--recently I read an article that suggested there was no reason in sight for there to be anything but cheap oil in our future--implying a limitless oil supply. Depending upon the needs of speculators, heresies are sure to spring up. But it's rather like a religion, no?