Are you lonely?

[Liberal_in_LA]

Opinion

All the lonely people
Researchers argue that far from being a personal issue, mass loneliness threatens our public health.
By Gregory Rodriguez

December 7, 2009
What's a good way to keep from getting lonely in this high holy season of togetherness? Stay away from lonely people.

It's brutal but true, and it's the cutting-edge finding of researchers whose mission it is to discover the causes of loneliness so that we can combat it with full force.

----------------

What the authors find is that, like a virus, loneliness is contagious. People become lonely because of who they know as much as who they don't know. It makes sense, really. When people are lonely, they tend to be less trusting and even irritable toward others. This type of behavior can easily make those on the receiving end feel a sense of isolation and loneliness themselves. In other words, lonely people pass on their loneliness. Before alienated people check into a cave, they alienate others, thereby continuing the chain. As the researchers put it, this means that loneliness is "both a cause and consequence of becoming disconnected."

http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/commentary/la-oe-rodriguez7-2009dec07,0,7281624.column

[no_hypocrisy]

1. I may be alone at times, but never lonely.

[OmmmSweetOmmm]

6. Same here.

[anarch]

16. it is the other way around for me

[H2O Man]

2. Other.

I enjoy solitude.

[peace frog]

3. Ditto

Solitude often elusive for me, but downtime is relished when it does come along.

[enigmatic]

5. I should have read yours before posting mine

:thumbsup:

[TexasObserver]

8. Likewise. I require it.

I need alone time. I don't understand people who can never stand to be alone, and I've known several.

[MagnaChucka]

11. I'm one of them

I hate to be alone. I always want to be around people. I sort of vibe on the energy from other people. I mean i'm not one of those people who sucks other peoples life away, but being around other people amps me up, it doesnt wear me out.

[enigmatic]

4. no

I'm a Loner and enjoy my solitude, and my wife gives me that. I'm very lucky.

[RaleighNCDUer]

7. Define 'lonely'.

I spend most of my time alone. I resent having to leave the house to go to work. This 'family season' is an annual source of irritation to me.

And I've been this way most my life. Other than my sister, with whom I'm in a writers' group and see every other week or so, I don't see family more than a half-dozen times a year, even though I live in the same city with them. It's not that I don't like them, and I usually have a good time when I do see them, but I really have no pressing need to have them around.

And I'm not a curmudgeon in training - people at work and my weekly gaming group and by-weekly writers' group all seem to genuinely enjoy me being around. That that IS the full extent of my socializing, and at times even that is too confining and hectic.

I lost two marriages because of the expectation that I actually have to be there for them - being around other people constantly makes me nuts. No more wives, no roommates. When my cat dies in another few years, no more pets.

I have difficulty with the notion of 'lonely'.

[closeupready]

9. Other - not lonely enough.

Only half-kidding - I get so tired sometimes of there being too many people all around me. I sometimes wish I could run away and live in a cabin somewhere like Grizzly Adams.

[dixiegrrrrl]

10. I need a long leash in a relationship.

Mr. D. and I both do, fortunately we recognize this. We do best being in a relationship but need great amounts of thinking time alone. So we worked out a "togetherness" routine that meets our needs.
Sort of "alone,together".


Boredom, in or out of a relationship, is a foreign concept.
Lonely and boredom seem to go hand in hand, in my mind.

[elocs]

12. I live alone and work alone and I am never lonely.

I am comfortable with myself and enjoy my own company. I embrace my solitude and I live in the city and not out in the boonies. I most often engage with other people by choice, but ironically anyone who knows me would ever describe me as being introverted or shy.

[marmar]

13. No, because I need, and make sure that I get, the balance......

.....I'm a people person, and love being with friends and family, but at the same time I require a great deal of "me" time.
I just returned from a solo trip to San Francisco - I LOVED IT !!!! I met up with some friends in the Bay Area a couple of nights, but otherwise it was just ME ME ME! Shopping in Amoeba records alone, having lunch by myself with a copy of Tbe Nation.....I want to do it again very soon.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

14. nope, i am surrounded my friends and family most of the times

[hfojvt]

15. Well, I wonder if,

you're lonesome tonight

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrojFR7jM9E

but why would I be?

I have my books and my poetry to protect me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPioSdlIERg

[Shandris]

17. Well I don't like to say it but yes.

Books and internet can only keep you so far. I think I've read a library of fiction. More than most big libraries, most likely.

[Thickasabrick]

23. I have found that my lack of friends is mostly due to being surrounded

by republicans. I live in the south and finding a democrat just to talk to is extremely difficult. Not having a job isn't helping but my last job was filled with republicans. I was the token lib when I finally admitted I wasn't one of them.

[TBF]

18. I don't know who said it first but Thoreau said it well -

"I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude."

But as much as I find truth in that quote, in these times we need each other more than ever.

[Liberal_in_LA]

19. so far, about 50% of DUers are somewhat lonely.

[HughMoran]

20. I would have answered "sometimes"

Mostly not though.

[david13]

21. I'm so lonely. I have no friends. Nobody likes me. dc

[JVS]

22. First of all, -1 for failing to quote Elvis when asking the question.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uXPl3kYVPh0

Also, the idea of shunning the lonely in order to keep from being lonely seems very very sick. But then again Shandor wasn't alone and had his Gozer worshipers.

[Boojatta]

33. "the idea of shunning the lonely in order to keep from being lonely seems very very sick."

Alternatively, why not convince people that the problem with Afghanistan is that it's a lonely country? Engagement with a lonely country would only spread the contagion. No surge can be successful because loneliness is simply a thing that cannot be successfully fought.

[Libertas1776]

24. Hmm,

Well I am sitting here eating a dinner for one, listening to "Mr. Lonely," and trying to decide whether I should watch "The Lonely Guy" or "Only the Lonely."

I should really get a dog.

[Fuzz]

25. I love silence and being alone, but I'm married with children and I miss intimacy

from the physical. My wife has lost all desire and it is not pleasant. :(

[EFerrari]

28. Ah, Fuzz.

I'm sorry.

Sometimes it's a phase women go through at a certain age. But just a phase.

[Fuzz]

35. I've been honest all the time, but now I've just lost interest and it sucks.

[Louisiana1976]

26. I live alone but I'm not lonely. I like it this way.

[EFerrari]

27. I belong to an extended family. Damn them.

:)

[cynatnite]

29. I like myself enough to enjoy my company. n/t

[defendandprotect]

40. "the most profound experience you'll ever have in life is with yourself" . . .

don't know who said that, but absolutely true --!!

[tonysam]

30. That study is a bunch of bullshit anyway.

Widowed people may need a support system, but that's about it. I am sick of the marriage for all crap.

[Raine]

31. Lonely, yes

but it doesn't bother except sometimes.

[HipChick]

32. Mostly alone,but never lonely and

I work from home, which further limits my interaction with human being...:hippie:

[Iggo]

34. Rarely.

I'm a loner. I like it like that. But I don't think I feel lonely anymore than anyone else does, which I would guess is "rarely."

[Odin2005]

36. Was lonely until last Thursday.

:loveya:

[varelse]

37. Where is the "not lonely enough" option?

I'm NEVER alone - unless I call in sick and stay home from work, AND kick both the cats out.

[Lucian]

38. I'm always lonely.

The one I love seems like she's a million miles away. :( I'm always lonely without her.

[defendandprotect]

39. Luckily enough, never . . . Have had a few seconds where I could identify it . . .

but then, always something to do --

I don't think I'd like it tho--!!!

[Mind_your_head]

41. Oh blech......

Some ppl are lonely b/c, of let's say for instance, you're a 'not too bad looking woman ~ divorced woman' and none of the couples will invite you to their parties, b/c "hey, why take the chance".

The OP/article is waaaaaaaaay too simplistic. It doesn't even BEGIN to address WHO or WHY people are lonely ~ and 'we ALL feel lonely' at one time or another, regardless of one's situation.

I rarely 'unrec', but I'm going to do so on this one.