Some peoples ability to perform mental gymnastics amazes me

[TwixVoy]

So this evening I went to a little early christmas get together with some family and friends.

Some moron that got invited was handing out christmas cards and was telling everyone "I wish I could write merry christmas on these, but that's not allowed anymore since the democrats took over"

The way she said it made me truly believe *in her mind* she actually believed that was true. It made me wonder what kind of moron mental midget with no thinking power at all would believe such bull shit. I really wanted to ask her exactly what she thought would happen had she written marry christmas on the cards, and to specifically define who was preventing her from doing so and in what way.

Instead I just ignored her the rest of the evening, but it was difficult not to over hear equally ignorant comments she frequently made as she was talking to people.

I have to give the republicans some credit though. Their ability to distract the masses with such mind games is impressive. Can you imagine what it must be like to be in these peoples minds? Their biggest concern is not the economy, not the fact mega corporations are robbing them daily, not the fact they don't have decent health care.... no. Their BIGGEST worry is a fantasy belief that they can't say "merry christmas".

Part of me wonders - is it easier for them to go through life with such non-issues as their biggest concerns? Or is this really the maximum extent of their brains ability to think?

[Forkboy]

1. That seems to be the only area where we're all Gold medal winners.

;)

[ZombieHorde]

5. FTW

(for the win)

[Forkboy]

6. A very wise man once told me never to exclude myself from the folly of man.

I miss that old fucker.

[ZombieHorde]

12. He does sound wise, who was he? nt

[jgraz]

2. Holy Fuck, that would have been a totally different party had I been there.

Maybe that's why I never get invited anywhere. :shrug:

[ret5hd]

4. No shit. Me too. I could have had an entire evening of entertainment...

just from ridiculing and tormenting just that one woman!

[BeFree]

3. Next time

Anyone who said something like that to me I'd have to respond with this question:

Have you found out which detention camp we are sending you to?

[Turborama]

7. !

:rofl:

[Duende azul]

9. She better not talks about it in public or on the phone.

Because of FISA the democrats can hear her. She will end up on the list.
Everyone she talks to will be in danger too.

The downside: Now baby Jesus will weep because she doesn't bear witness to him.

[brewens]

8. I only use Happy Holidays cards and will continue to do so

until they shut the fuck up about the war on Christmas crap! I loved it when Olbermann busted Bildo for only having "holiday" stuff for sale. No "Merry Christmas" Factor or Fox News mugs or anything. Then they took that stuff off the web site too. Fox had no holiday merchandise at all the rest of that season. How cool was that?

[rudy23]

10. Here's an email I got from a co-worker today--note the persecution complex.

I was pretty upset. Again, the point of this email, like the story in the OP is that Repukes get all riled up about how much of a pain in the ass it is to satisfy a diverse group of people. And of course, it's not the groups that are actually doing all the complaining, just the exaggeration the Repukes make in their own minds.

Company Memo

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 1, 2009
RE: Gala Christmas Party
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gath erin g is only for employees!
Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!
Merry Christmas to you and your family,
Patty


Company Memo

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 2, 2009
RE: Gala Holiday Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on, we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians and to those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols will be sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.
Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family,
Patty


Company Memo

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees
DATE: October 3, 2009
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this?
Somebody?
And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and the executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.
REMEMBER: NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.


Company Memo

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
To: All Employees
DATE: October 4, 2009
RE: Generic Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work?
Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.
Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each group will have their own table.
Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table.
To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill House asks that no cross-dressing be allowed, apparently because of concerns about confusion in the restrooms. Sorry.
We will have booster seats for short people.
Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.
I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of salt used in the food . The Grill House suggests that people with high blood pressure taste a bite first.

There will be fresh "low sugar" fruits as dessert for diabetics, but the restaurant cannot supply "no sugar" desserts. Sorry!

Did I miss anything?!?!?
Patty


Company Memo

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F*%^in Employees
DATE: October 5, 2009
RE: The F*%^in Holiday Party
I've had it with you vegetarian pricks!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your f*%^in salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW!
The rest of you f*%^in wierdos can kiss my *ss. I hope you all have a rotten holiday!
Drive drunk and die,
The B*tch from H*ll!!!


Company Memo

FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: October 6, 2009
RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her.
In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
Happy Holidays!
Joan

[QC]

11. Plenty of people here do the same thing.

You know, the business about Vulcan chess and the like. Magical thinking is an equal opportunity affliction.