Republicans Back Universal Lawn-Care Bill

[meegbear]

Seeking to make "comprehensive, high-quality lawn and garden care accessible to all Americans," a coalition of House Republicans Monday introduced H.R. 4702, the Hastert-Armey Lawn-Care Reform Act.

"A healthy, productive, green lawn should be a reality for everyone, not just the rich," said Sen. Dick Armey (R-TX), co-author of the bill. "No American should be forced to endure crabgrass, uneven edges, and poorly aerated soil just because they can't afford a good landscaper."

Under the bill, states would be given financial incentives to provide residents with well-manicured lawns of uniform length. Working with designated local lawn-care providers, states would also subsidize turf-building, leaf-blowing, and hedge-trimming services–making allowances for fertilizer and decorative-bark deductibles–for residents earning less than $48,500 a year.

"It's time we took the reins of power from greedy, uncaring neighborhood associations, who all too often force the private citizen to shoulder much of the financial burden of caring for their lawns," Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI) said. "How sad it is that we are the richest, most powerful nation on Earth, yet millions of us do not have access to a good herbicide for our broadleaf weeds."

The bill has already received hearty endorsements from several leading suburban environmental groups, as well as grass-roots support from those living in nitrogen-poor areas.

<snip>

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28432

[old mark]

1. We pulled out our entire lawn, covered the whole yard in mulch,

planted scrubs and installed a stone path through it all.

I don't want no socialist lawncare.

Get the government off my back.

mark

[postulater]

2. There has to be a pubic option.

At least the equivalent of the lawn care on the owner's country club.