He is 7, this is his last Christmas

[The Straight Story]

Community Comes Together To Make Boy's Christmas Special

WEST JEFFERSON, Ohio — People from across the community were planning to make the holiday season special for a 7-year-old boy who is battling terminal brain cancer.

Doctors told Nathan Elfrink's parents that this Christmas would be his last, 10TV's Lindsey Seavert reported.

When the community realized that Nate reached his final days, they wanted every day to be a gift. Now the gifts are coming from across Ohio, the U.S. and the world.

On Monday, Nathan received 16 cards. Then, on Tuesday, he received 45 cards. On Wednesday, family members said that their mailbox was stuffed full of cards.

The letters came from strangers, stamped from dozens of states.

On Friday, Nate could not awaken to see all the presents that arrived in the mail.



http://www.10tv.com/live/content/local/stories/2009/12/11/story-boy-brain-cancer-christmas-cards.html?sid=102

[Ken Burch]

1. Hearing that, I realize that none of us are having that bad of a day by comparison

I can't imagine what it must be like to celebrate Christmas, a holiday based on the commemoration of the birth of a child, and know that you're about to lose YOUR child.

God, how massively bleak this time must be for them.

[The Straight Story]

3. Indeed - I thought I had it bad this Christmas, but damn I have it good

Sometimes we need to remember how good we have things, and shame on me for forgetting such.

[applegrove]

15. Yup. I count my lucky starts every day it seems. I'm very unlucky but

it could be worse. Poor little guy.

[cascadiance]

40. My father just had his last Thanksgiving, and his last Christmas was last year...

We buried him this last Thursday. I'm still getting over it.

But I look at a child like this robbed of a full life, and it still makes me thankful for how long my father was able to live, even if his last few years weren't pleasant for all of us.

I hope that this child's family are as able to make his last Christmas as precious as possible. That hopefully is the gift he can share with them, short as it may be, and one I'll never have had with the terrible fate of alzheimers that steals the person away from you long before they are gone.

In a way, my dad having cancer that killed him was a blessing though. He at least was able to recognize us, his kids and say our names on Thanksgiving, which was a gift we will take with us from here on out. Might not have happened with more advanced stages of dementia, were that was what killed him.

I hope that this child's pain isn't so dominating that he can't have some ability to share some sort of good moments with his family at the end.

[malaise]

41. Deepest sympathy

Losing parents is hard; losing a child is devastating.

[cascadiance]

72. Yes, losing my dad gives me some perspective of what these parents face...

... but even with my experience now, it is hard to appreciate their pain that they are currently going through with their child, which I'm sure is hitting them a lot harder.

[The Straight Story]

44. Damn, sorry to hear that. Been since 2004 since I lost mom, still have my moments

Just hits when I least expect it.

[cascadiance]

73. It's going to be harder for me with my mom too...

She's still pretty healthy now, but her memory just in the last year's been going downhill pretty quickly. Used to be able to be around her a lot when we both lived in San Diego up until a year ago. Now it will be more work to keep in contact with her from Portland.

[AnneD]

52. We got the word Friday .......

Our Uncle has small cell carcinoma that has spread from lungs to liver to lymph nodes. Being a Nurse I know what that means. He has started chemo. but if it were me... I'd be forgoing chemo and be visiting those I loved while I had the strength, but that's me. We might have him with us into the New Year but we doubt her will make it to next Christmas.

Makes anything I face look like a walk in the park.

[cascadiance]

71. Sorry to hear about your uncle... Give him all of the time you are able...

It's important I think while he still has his thought processes with him...

It's strange that these sort of things always seem to happen this time of year. Two years ago I buried my cat the day after Thanksgiving, and years back my dad and I carried his father's casket in the middle of December too.

[AnneD]

75. Thanks for the kind words....

He really needs to come to terms with his gay son. He needs to tell his son that he is sorry for disowning him and that he loves him-and vice versa. That is my Christmas Wish.

[cascadiance]

78. Amy Goodman had some good words on this topic after saying goodbye to her mother...

She noted that someone told her that the five things to try and resolve with a dying loved one is the following when she was saying goodbye to her mother a month ago or so:

1. I'm sorry
2. Forgive me
3. I forgive you
4. I love you
5. Goodbye

With my dad's alzheimer's, the first three weren't that useful to pursue, but the fourth one was most important, and the last words I said to him when leaving him at Thanksgiving were those words along with a gentle hug. Didn't quite get a chance to say a real goodbye, but hopefully the Thanksgiving meeting we had was implictly enough of a goodbye for him to feel good about it. I'm glad I had a chance to do #4. Sounds like the first three need to be worked on in your case.

[AnneD]

53. Best Wishes for a Joyful and Happy Christmas for him

and Peace and Comfort to his family.

[poverlay]

66. I am so sorry to hear about your father. A good dad is a gift so precious we spend the rest of our

lives enjoying and appreciating it. Not to mention wishing the old codger was still here so we could tell him how great he was, and just "thanks".
I take some comfort in knowing that my dad will always be with me because he shaped me in his image. Living my life well is the greatest thanks he could have.

Have a great Christmas and remember how much your dad would have loved it. I'll be raising a glass to all decent dads ~ everywhere.

~P

[cascadiance]

70. Thanks for the kind thoughts...

It's been a while since he's been at our house for Christmas (he's been at a home for the last 4-5 years), but we certainly will be thinking of him this year...

[blm]

82. (( ))

Peace to you, cas....

[midnight]

2. Darn this is so sad...

[Sarah Ibarruri]

4. If God were good....

:(

[The Straight Story]

6. IMHO God gave us all we needed for each other, then we got greedy

There is so much in this world to give one another, but so much is lost in the few wanting to get the most for themselves and worshiping profit.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

16. Well, some kids are born like this. What on earth could be the explanation? nt

[Goldstein1984]

33. Not to make this into a theological thread, but...

This kind of thing has always made more sense to me with the assumption of no gods. Just my approach. Works for me.

When I see a story like this, I do realize how fortunate my family and I are, and I also think of all the money devoted on war, hoarded by the rich, and wasted on conspicuous consumption.

We do have everything we need to help each other, except a universal instinct to do it.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

51. I do feel fortunate too. :(

I also see things like these and believe there are no gods.

However, then I think of what's "out there." Black holes, the big bang, what CAUSED the big bang, quantum physics, and I begin to realize that perhaps what we see and touch just isn't all there is. That there is something bigger than we have the capacity to imagine.

[dysfunctional press]

45. if a god even existed....

[Libertas1776]

5. Ugh

these are the kind of things that completely throw out the window all of your supposed "troubles." Compared to this, they seem...well, utterly insignificant. :cry:


Merry Christmas kiddo! You deserve a hundred more. God, life real pisses me off, man. War criminals like Cheney will probably live to push 100 but this brave little kid is experiencing his last Christmas. FUCK!!! :-(

[The Straight Story]

7. I was having a rough night myself, then saw this and snapped out of it

Shit, my life may be in a bad spot, but I am so damn happy I am not in such a situation. I am a really lucky man, sometimes I am just too blind to see it.

[Libertas1776]

9. Amen, brother. n/t

[Subdivisions]

10. +1000. n/t

[UndertheOcean]

8. fuck .... :(

[aikoaiko]

64. whoops. I intended to reply to the OP

[tblue]

11. Poor little baby! My heart breaks.

:cry:

[HughMoran]

12. Sobering

:(

[AwakeAtLast]

13. I'll be hugging my 7 y/o extra tightly tonight

:cry: :cry: :cry:

[Historic NY]

14. 'Will I be here for Christmas? Will I be here for Santa?'

:cry:

[Ken Burch]

17. DId you HAVE to post that?

Now I'm choked up. Damn.

[girl gone mad]

18. We should have a cure for this by now.

Instead we waste money on endless wars, while our best and brightest wile away their hours inventing new methods to manipulate financial markets and screw others out of money.

In Germany, http://www.research-in-germany.de/coremedia/generator/dachportal/en/07__News_20and_20Events/VDITZ_20-_20News_26Events/2009-11-13_2C_20Heidelberg_20Ion_20Therapy_20Centre_20_28HIT_29_20has_20opened,sourcePageId=8240.html">this might give young Nathan many more years. But here in America, where we have "the best health care system in the world", he has no chance. Shame.

[Contrary1]

22. My brother said 40 years ago that there will never be a cure for cancer...

because there is too much money to be made in treating it instead. Maybe he was right.

[Fire_Medic_Dave]

23. After all a cure would be worthless.

:eyes:

[Electric Monk]

24. profitless?

hmm, worth vs profit... discuss?

[Fire_Medic_Dave]

26. go ahead.

[Name removed]

28. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Contrary1]

25. Of course a cure would not be "worthless"...

But the total cost of my treatment was $200,000+. And I only went around one time.

[Fire_Medic_Dave]

27. The total cost of my shoulder surgery was $140,000.

I'm not sure what your point is.

[Contrary1]

29. And what percentage of your treatment involved pharmaceutical companies?

That's my point.

[Fire_Medic_Dave]

30. How does Gardasil fit in to your argument?

[Fire_Medic_Dave]

31. What percentage of yours involved pharmacautical companies?

[Th1onein]

36. Your brother was right.

The cancer industry rules in this country. You have no idea how many laws there are on the books that forbid doctors to use alternative therapies, alone, to treat cancer. Many, many people have been put in prison for using alternative therapies.

[Fire_Medic_Dave]

49. Can you provide some links of people put in prison just for using alternative therapies?

I can't say I've heard of a single case.

[Th1onein]

79. There's a book about it.

Right now, I'm in a hotel. I'm due to catch a plane at 6am tomorrow. I'm too tired to look it up.

On edit: I'm sure you've heard of the trial of Dr. Stanislaw Burzynsk? They put him on trial, and gave him hell, but they didn't manage to imprison him. Almost, though.

[Fire_Medic_Dave]

80. Never heard of him did find something about him here.

http://www.healthychristianliving.com/ozonesuppression.htm

[Th1onein]

81. I don't know about that Christian living stuff, but....

This guy is a doctor and a medical researcher. He is in the Houston area. There was a BIG trial in Houston when I was in my teens, involving him. The FDA was trying to put him in jail for giving patients antineoplastics treatment. He's from Poland, I believe, and at first, the cancer research hospital in Houston tried to get him to work for them. He refused because he wanted to continue his work on antineoplastons. These are peptides found in the urine of people who don't have cancer, but not found in the urine of people who do have cancer. He thought that they would have anti-cancer properties, and they did. He patented some of them, but some that weren't very efficacious at killing cancer, he didn't bother to patent. Later, a big pharma patented them and touted them as a great treatment for cancer.

The FDA put this doctor through the ringer. They took all of his patient files; and just about closed his research facility down. He went to trial and was cleared of any wrongdoing, and then he sued the FDA. I don't know how that turned out, but he's still operating his research facility in Houston, and still curing cancer.

[niyad]

38. believe your brother was right--I remember hearing that very point about then--

that there was too much money to be made from not actually finding cures.

lost my dearest friend to breast cancer three years ago--and I kept thinking that the standard "treatment" --mastectomy--hadn't really changed in 50 years. something very off there.

[Berry Cool]

43. It's the same as it ever was--our three weapons are "slash, burn and poison."

Surgery, radiation and chemotherapy. We have nothing better.

I've been feeling pretty miserable lately because I've had a long time trying to get over an ear infection and I can't find a job. I'm going to try to look at it like this: I'm not broke yet, and every day, I still get a fresh chance to get up in the morning and try again. I am not waking up every day wondering if this day is going to be the last. Nor am I a parent wondering whether my kid is going to make it to Christmas.

[Fire_Medic_Dave]

50. Then why did they come up with Gardasil? A cure for a common cancer would be worth trillions.

[KharmaTrain]

39. Your Brother Is Half Right...So Is Mine...

He's been involved in big money genetic research with cancer as the main focus. Yes, there's a big industry in developing all sorts of cancer cures but also that the pay-out on the other end is far greater than what they're making right now. Any corporate that holds the patent to a sure-fire cancer drug or treatment can look at 28 years of big profits. There are many "academics" and "scientists" who see prolonging their grants as more important than rushing cures to market, but there also have been many advancements in recent years that are starting to show promise. I'm told the genetic research going on now (especially since stem cell bans were lifted) will lead to some radical advances and possible cures in upcoming years. I'm hopeful he is right.

[TicketyBoo]

32. German treatments

couldn't save Farrah Fawcett.

This is so sad.

[girl gone mad]

47. It might not have helped Nathan, either..

but I would rather see my taxes go to building these kinds of facilities than be wasted on wars.

[Th1onein]

35. Ion Therapy, what an idea!

And here we are, figuring out how to fry people with OUR weapons, and even turning them on our own people. We've got to kill them Muslims, you know?

We have a culture of death in this country.

[d_b]

19. i'm so fuckin sick and tired of cancer

[TheCML]

54. no kidding!

it scares the shit out of me, and i have watched too many friends and family members deal with it.

[Name removed]

20. Deleted sub-thread

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[ZombieHorde]

21. So sad. nt

[Th1onein]

34. It is the worst kind of torture, to watch your child die.

The memories never fade. I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

[niyad]

37. k and r--thank you for posting this, for reminding us of what is really important.

[Swede]

42. My cousins little girl lost her battle with bone cancer 13 years ago.

It was a tough time. That poor little boy,I hope he has his Christmas.

[Odin2005]

46. Poor kid!

:cry:

[The Straight Story]

48. I can't imagine - either being the parent or the kid, the hell it must be

And I hope to god I never have to.

[skygazer]

55. I simply cannot imagine the anguish this family is living with

Peace to you Nate, and to your loved ones. :cry:

[YvonneCa]

56. It's amazing how priorities can be quickly...

...straightened out when you hear a story like this. Thank you for posting it.

[GreenPartyVoter]

57. Poor baby! Poor family!

:cry:

[NikolaC]

58. How Awful

It has to be the most frustrating and heart rending thing for a parent to go through. My heart goes out to that poor little boy and his family.

[Maestro]

59. Oh this sickens me.

My life is cake-walk compared to this. Good thoughts and vibes being sent. I hope he has his best Christmas ever.

[tnlefty]

60. I truly hope that he is happy and enjoys Christmas,

and that his passing is as peaceful and painfree as possible, as that would be the best gift that I could wish for him. :hug:

[riverbendviewgal]

61. I know what the family is going through

My son also had a brain tumor He had one Christmas after being diagnosed. That was in 1998.
It is not easy being "christmasy" when you know your son may be having his last one. That Christmas his dad was fighting cancer too.

We did the best we could, living in the NOW and enjoying each moment.

Friends were wonderful and we tried to have as normal as possible that Christmas, because the hope was there that he would survive. He had the same type of brain tumor as Teddy Kennedy. and from what I read pretty much the same treatment too. Kevin lasted 18 months. He was 26 years old. His dad died 18 months after Kevin. He was 54.

He was luckier than this little boy in Ohio as he got to grow up, fall in love and have a great job and travel.
One thing that is a comfort is the we didn't worry about medical bills as we live in Canada, that humane country that has one payer health care.

I am thankful everyday that I am a citizen in this great country and my son and husband had the very best of care and didn't have to wait for it. My son had his first ever seizures on a Friday and was getting his first brain operation the following Monday. In Canada we have excellent care when needed. I hate hearing the ugly American Republicans lying about my country's health care.

[The Straight Story]

63. Welcome to Du, and thank you for your insightful post (nt)

[renate]

69. it must be so difficult to read a story and know exactly what the family is going through

:hug:

:cry:

[emmadoggy]

62. As a parent of two 7-year-olds, I am

too choked up to even find the words for this. Peace to Nathan and his family. :cry:

[aikoaiko]

65. I have to go kiss my 4 year old as he is sleeping now.

O8)

[David Zephyr]

67. Honored to be the 64th rec.

I have spent months at St. Jude's in Memphis. Seeing children with cancer puts everything into perspective.

Seeing moms and dads and grandparents and loved ones anguishing, grasping at any hope for these precious, precious children forever changed how I see my own "problems".

For Nathan.

And thank you, The Straight Story, for keeping our hearts in the right place, for reminding us of what trouble truly is.

[Fire1sKid]

68. This breaks my heart OMG

:cry:

[Fumesucker]

74. I don't believe in a god or gods.. But if I did I would have to wonder..

What justification would a loving, just god have for allowing such things to happen?

What possible benefit is there that makes worthwhile the pain of such a hideous disease?

Sorry to be so philosophical in the face of this horror but I read something the other day that got me wondering about this sort of thing.

As a parent and grandparent my heart goes out to this little boy and all those who love him.

Edited due to poster's caffeine deficiency this morning..

[The Straight Story]

76. Here are my thoughts on it all for you:

1. God is not all powerful. Looking at the bible (as one example in religion) makes this clear.

2. If there is no God, then we humans here on earth have all the power - and we have a lot of it when you consider what all we have done here. And yet we keep putting more of our money/time/resources into war and machines that kill than we do in actually helping each other. And don't blame religion for that (look at old USSR and China for example). So we have all this power and we do what with it??

3. Suppose there is a god and he/she created an Eden and gave us all we could ever want or need. What would we do with it? Well, to me Earth is our Eden, and what have we done with it??

The problem is not that a supreme being has not done more, it is that we were given freedom and an Eden and we turned it into what we have now.

God is not to blame, we are.

[Fumesucker]

77. I finished this book the other night, which is what got me thinking about this stuff..

http://www.amazon.com/Calculating-God-Robert-J-Sawyer/dp/0812580354