I Was Approached By Someone Begging For Gas Money Yesterday

[NikolaC]

I just want to say that I am not much of a writer, unlike most of the people who post here regularly. I just wanted to share a story about what happened yesterday. My husband, son, mother, pregnant sister, her fiancé, his mother and aunt all decided to go baby shopping and out to lunch together. A little history: We are very close knit family who have been through a lot together over the past few years. My husband and I have been going through a difficult period financially – just like most people in this economy – because he is the only one working and I have been having difficulty finding a job. However, whenever we have even a couple of dollars available, we donate to supermarket food drives and charities whenever we can. We believe that, even though we are going through a difficult time, there are others who have it much worse and it is our responsibility to help in any way that we can. We believe in helping in any way that we can because there are so many in this world who are suffering due to the cruelty, selfishness, greed and lack of compassion on the part of so many. That is what my mother, who was poor growing up, taught my sister and me as we were growing up and that is what my husband and I are trying to teach our son. My mother and sister are two of the most giving, caring and nurturing people that I have ever met. They have been there for us during this tough time and we hope to one day return the kindess and support that has been given to us.

This brings me to my post. We were in the parking lot of the local Target yesterday, about to leave, when we were approached by a woman who was very apologetic, but looked very sad and desperate at the same time. She asked if we had a little change to spare because she worked at the local pet box store and did not have enough gas to get home, she could not afford to buy gas. This lady was on the verge of tears and had me on the verge of tears. My sister, in her kindness, had given me a little money for my “birthday”, just her way of helping us out again :-). So, I took $15 dollars from that money and give it to the lady. She was very grateful and asked to hug me and could barely contain her tears. I told her that the thanks were not necessary and she wished us a Merry Christmas and left. I am glad that we were able to help, but it just felt like it was not enough.

After we left, I was still crying because I could not help but think about all of the people that were in circumstances similar to the one that this lady was experiencing. People who may not have the backup of family who could help. How many people had she gone to who could not help her, who probably ignored or berated and judged her? Why is it necessary, in this day and age, for someone who is working to have to beg for gas money from strangers? It’s really heartbreaking and telling that we have leaders who are so out of touch, apathetic and full of greed that the pain of this woman and so many like her mean nothing to them while they continue to play their chess games. There is so much that could be done to help to ease the burden and suffering of the citizens of this country, much less the world, that is not being considered and are ignored. It is truly heartbreaking.

[chandler2]

1. It's an old scam nt

[NYC_SKP]

2. Would you care to elaborate, chandler2?

A scam you say?

How so?

[michreject]

6. I've heard it for at least 30+ years

Not saying some were being truthful, but all were not.

[Warpy]

7. It's a scam around here

You can tell the scammers because they look at a dollar and snarl at you. They're looking for crack or heroin money and a buck, while it would put enough in the tank to get them home, just won't do it.

People who really need it are damned grateful to get it.

[KittyWampus]

22. untold numbers of people do this on LIRR. In fact, one guy will do his spiel and SWEAR he's not

scamming, leave and then another guy will come in and do the same exact thing.

[surrealAmerican]

82. I honestly don't see how that would work.

If the person is already on public transit, their credibility would be severely lacking.

[KittyWampus]

91. while the train is boarding and before it leaves the station.

[NNN0LHI]

173. I have seen this scam played out in local parking lots around here

While waiting in the car for my wife I have watched people troll the parking lot for easy touches and after getting up enough money walk right over to the liquor store with their proceeds.

I am not saying this is always the case. Only saying I have witnesses this scam. More than once.

Don

[MrsMatt]

11. The worst feeling is when you see the same person

in a different mall parking lot, using the same story.

But, props to the OP for her generosity and caring - perhaps in this case, the woman was telling the truth.

[donheld]

61. Been there

Too many times I've been conned into giving some sad soul "gas" money only to see them the next day pulling the same scam on someone else.

[shadowknows69]

13. Or it could have been a genuine person in need, but I agree with you.

I'm cynical that way. Regardless, you have to applaud the effort of using acting in panhandling. A grifter is only as good as their BQ-Bullshit Quotient.

[KittyWampus]

26. I generally reserve my handout money for 3 Card Monte and see some panhandlers as street artists

in their own way.

I appreciate the entertainment value.

[shadowknows69]

34. If I walk by you and you're playing music. I don't care if you're drumming a garbage can.

You got my spare change. Well, when I had any.

[Roon]

176. There's a child who plays the violen on the street here in Denver

and he makes the BUCKS!!! Don't worry,his Mother is always right there supervising and keeping an eye on the money.

[Rebubula]

182. Me too...

...If I see someone 'working' for their money (playing music, singing or - and this is my favorite - picking up trash --dude at the off ramp of 495 and Conn. Ave outside DC keeps his grassy area clean of trash and always gets a buck from me) I will happily give them some change.

The old gas scam - been fooled once; never again. I actually went out of my way to call out his scam to other suckers after I had been taken in.

[zonkers]

46. A sweet shabby old guy loitering at a gas pump smiled at me and told me it was his birthday. I gave

him a dollar. I couldn't help it. He caught me in a good mood and was irresistible. And yeah he was probably -- no definitely lying but we were both in on the lie and he got my buck.

[shadowknows69]

71. And you still get the good karma for it so, everyone wins.

Good karma for a buck is a steal in any universe.

[Craftsman]

19. I offer to put 5 gallon in their tank, but do not give money.

[FormerDittoHead]

66. I fell for it - then I saw the SAME WOMAN doing it to someone else the next time I was there! n/t

[rucky]

93. There's more shame in turning away someone in need

than in being scammed for a few bucks.

I don't care if they don't use the money for what they say they will, if we want to live in a trusting and kind society - we give anyway.

[CrispyQ]

97. That's how I feel about it too! --nt

[intheflow]

102. I've been burned too may times by homeless scams.

Not saying most people reduced to begging don't have legitimate need, but if I give the money instead to a homeless shelter I have a much easier time believing it will be used more wisely than if I give it directly to 75% of the people living on the streets. I've seen drugs destroy too many lives, I don't want to contribute to anyone's drug or alcohol habits. :(

[bobbolink]

142. Oh, yeah... most of us homeless people are alkies and druggies.

gawddammit...

you're welcome to walk in my shoes and hear that all the time.

did it ever occur to you that so manhy of those shelters treat people VERY BADLY?? Do you feel good contributing to that?

[intheflow]

151. Look, I lived with junkies for many years.

They all panhandled. They all swindled me at one time or another out of money I had very little of by a sob story. I also worked in a homeless shelter that didn't treat people badly. So sorry if my perspective isn't the same as yours. I'm sorry you've experienced shitty things at shelters, but not everyone is motivated by the same things as you. When I have money I donate to a local shelter run by my friend.

[Heidi]

163. Alcohol and drugs are some people's medicine. (nt)

[Caliman73]

183. Agreed...

We aren't talking about people who are solidly middle class who go home after a day of "scamming" and slip into a bubble bath and listen to some Vivaldi on their Bose stereo. The are people with problems who perhaps could "get a job" if they weren't addicted to alcohol or had mental problems, or perhaps had just given up hope in finding a steady job. Instead they hustle to get food or drink to pass the time away.

[PSzymeczek]

196. A guy at the local Safeway

parking lot has a sign that says, "Why lie? I want to buy beer!" Didn't give, but it made me smile.

[fishnfla]

3. You fell for that?

My brother when he was addicted to crack pulled that one all over our hometown.

[shadowknows69]

18. Way to support a fellow Duer. "You fell for that?" Empathy FAIL.

[timeforpeace]

92. You are truly an angel here on Gaia. Don't mind the grumps, we are truly in awe.

[shadowknows69]

126. Far from an angel, but why is it some people's first reaction to laugh at someone?

[raccoon]

171. Because it makes them feel superior. nt

[nyc 4 Biden]

175. because they are assholes.

i give money to those in need on the streets all the time. and sometimes i know the story is made up, but guess what, they are still down and out to be begging in the first place.

[smirkymonkey]

178. I'm with you....and I've come across some real scammers. I knew

they were completely full of it, but I could tell they weren't doing too well anyway. So I give them a buck or two. It's easy to become immune to panhandlers in a city like NYC, but I always try to at least be kind to the person by acknowledging them as a human being even if I can't give money to all of them. There are just way too many and I don't have that much money to give. It's sad.

[bobbolink]

143. Thank you.

So many of these posts sound exactly like what we keep complaining the Republicans talk like.

[maryf]

166. Hear, hear

nt

[theoldman]

4. Years ago I lost $5 in a scam like that.

We are all suckers at some time in our life.

[SpiralHawk]

25. The $5 was not lost

If you gave it with good intention...the crappy 'lost' part accrues to the karma of the scammer, if in fact the person was scamming...

[Oregone]

44. Not lost at all. It was invested into a crack rock

[SpiralHawk]

84. How do you know that?

eom

[sendero]

129. Exactly..

... I got scammed once and I realized it a couple minutes after I left the scene. I was annoyed at myself but it was not the end of the world.

On the other hand, I've given money to people I'm pretty sure were in real need. I don't care if they are going to buy a burger, a beer or whatever, my involvement ends when I hand them the money and all I can do is try to help, not fix their life.

[Nikki Stone1]

5. Clearly, you haven't been living in Los Angeles over the past two decades

I get asked for gas money all the time. Most of the time, it's from people who don't seem to have a car. But that's me being jaded. It sounds like the person you met was clearly in need.

Just be careful. I tend to do my charitable giving directly to places I know.

[NikolaC]

17. True Enough

Thanks for the advice. Maybe she was a really good actress and I was dumb enough to fall for an old scam. We do give to charities regularly when we can, I just have a hard time saying no when I think that someone is in need. I guess that may be a very naive way to look at things. However, I still stand by the last couple of sentences in my post. I still believe that there are so many who are legitimately suffering and charities can help, but cannot reach everyone. There are ways of helping those in need with legislation, but we have some in charge who feel that it is better to help the banks and insurance industry and not the people who are their victims.

[Nikki Stone1]

24. I get the feeling that you may have run into the genuine article

I have helped individuals out in the past when I can easily see they are in trouble. I know, though, that there are many people who hang out at places like Target looking for people to give them money. At the post office last week, a guy who was absolutely reeking of alcohol stumbled over to me and asked me if I had $1. There wasn't a food place within walking distance or I would have offered to buy him food. Usually, if you offer them food, you can tell who the alkies and meth heads are and who the really hungry folk are. The hungry will take the cheese burger. The alkies start cursing at you.

[left coaster]

29. You will almost certainly never know which category this young woman falls in to..

..but at least your heart was in the right place.. nothing for you to regret, in that regard.

[Bennyboy]

69. I think 15 bucks directly is worth about 500 to a charity...

I never got that way of thinking.

Give to charity intead of a person? Why add a layer or two of beauracracy? That is why the homeless problem is so intractable now. There are way too many people that depend on that pie for employment. Seems to me that about 1/100th of the money actually gets to the people that need it.

[struggle4progress]

98. It depends on the charity: overheads differ. When my church prepares meals for the local shelter,

I think our average cost per serving (entree, vegetable, salad, bread, dessert, drink) comes to maybe $2. Nobody is gonna buy a meal here in town for $2

[bobbolink]

145. I hope that someday you get to depend on a shelter, and learn

exactly what that does to your spirit.

[struggle4progress]

157. I can only guess from your comment what you mean. I suppose it is something like the following:

People really need the dignity that comes with the freedom to make their own choices. If that is indeed what you mean, I'm in general agreement. After a number of years of volunteering regularly at my local shelter, I could make some observations along the following lines:

The homeless population is very diverse. It includes not only the expected populations (such as prison releases or mentally ill or substance abusers), it also includes people whose worlds collapsed due to chronic illnesses, victims of domestic abuse, and a variety of other persons affected by various crises. Some of the mentally ill I met were extremely bright; some of the recovering substance abusers had real wisdom insights into psychological issues; and several of the former gang-bangers were actually warm caring people

The shelter, of course, is not a perfect solution but merely a potential transition point from a much uglier street that has its own dynamic: it's obvious why the street-games exist as survival strategies, but it should also be obvious exactly how destructive they are. People will have to decide for themselves exactly how they handle the games. I met one person, for example, whose practice was always to offer food, but never money. I know other people who never given money to individuals but contribute to organizations. My own current practice is not to give money to individuals when I recognize the request as a well-worn game: it is, of course, not necessary to humiliate people when refusing such requests

You are free, of course, to complain I should do other than I do -- but I do not have infinite resources, and I should prefer regularly to kick a few hundred to the soup kitchen (where I know exactly how it will be used) than to dole it own in $5 or $10 increments to folk who (say) ply the regular story of being out of gas en route to visit their daughter in the hospital 500 miles away

[Le Taz Hot]

172. Bobbolink,

I'm REALLY sorry for your situation but you seem to put ALL shelters in the same category. That's too bad because our two local homeless shelters are wonderful. I know, I've volunteered there and I'd know if there was the abuse you claim. Both homeless shelters have very limited bed space available due to the enormous amounts of families with children needing their services. You get pissed off every time someone claims all homeless people are drug addicts and alcoholics, please don't then paint all homeless shelters as horrible places that don't treat you well. Both are broad brush categorizations and both are wrong.

[bobbolink]

144. You are so on target! I wish people would hear what you are saying.

thank you for still having a heart!

[laylah]

107. BS or not, NikolaC...

bless your good heart. Karma will get her if, in fact, she was scamming you. :hug:

[NikolaC]

116. Thanks

I hope that it wasn't, but I don't regret doing it regardless :-).

[rtassi]

161. Even if she was pan handling .. IMO

Your intentions are all that matters ... don't second guess them, or let anyone belittle you for your kindness ... You can't control what she does with the money ... even if it were for drugs .. she didn't have to rob or hurt someone this time to get it ... You are not going to cure her by saying no anyway .... So feel good!

[laughingliberal]

79. self-delete

posted wrong place

[ellie]

8. That was very nice of you!

It does break my heart because people don't have enough money. Just be careful. I always get panhandled in the grocery store parking lot by people needing gas money. One guy even told me a heart breaking story about how he really needed to get his daughter home to her nebulizer and the police wouldn't help. I pointed out that we were within walking distance to a hospital and he slunk away. Now, I just ask people if they need bus fare to get down to the shelter (there is a bus stop in front of the grocery store).

[left coaster]

9. Same thing happened to my son..

It was back in October of this year.. a young man and young woman approached my son outside of our local Target, gave him a similar spiel.. needed gas money to get home, appeared very earnest, etc.. He gave them $20 immediatey..

When he relayed the tale to me, I was somewhat skeptical, but applauded him for giving them the benefit of the doubt.. Three days later, I myself went to the same Target location, and guess what? A young man and woman approached me with the same story.. I didn't know at the time, if it was the same couple who had hit on my son, but I was suspicious, so I politely declined their request.

I'm not saying that the woman who approached you was just a con, and given the dismal economic atmosphere at present, there is a fair chance that she might have been sincere.. It's just sad that there will always be people willing to exploit the kindness of a stranger, and some times we don't know which is which..

[Bitwit1234]

10. I can tell you right off

that the reason this country went down hill and can't climb back up. Is because out of the last some 40 years only 12 have we had democratic presidents. The rest about 30 we have had republicans. Republicans who have run rough shod over the rules and regulations and actions of the constitution to give big business all the tax breaks and free reign to do what they have done.

[rd_kent]

15. Well, ok, that was the most off-topic response ever.

[Sal Minella]

56. Don't be ridiculous.

I've written dozens of responses FAR more off-topic than that.

[goldcanyonaz]

62. LOL! me too!

:rofl:

[rd_kent]

68. Ha! Fair enough.

[Subdivisions]

36. And this has what to do with the OP? Also, it's hard to take anyone

seriously who chooses to hide their profile. And, admittedly I'm not the greatest gammaticist in the world but yours is atrocious. If you're going ot post off-topic, at least make some sense.

[goldcanyonaz]

39. Did you mean to post this somewhere else?

[billh58]

74. I have a

red pencil box...

[Hassin Bin Sober]

95. Benny Hill

[billh58]

112. Yep...

;-)

[CoffeeCat]

148. I love Paprika!

[dysfunctional press]

75. are you counting clinton as a democrat...?

nafta, gatt, wto, teleconm act, doma, etc...

think again.

[abluelady]

12. I Try to Give Too

What is a scam? Obviously, these people are very needy if they choose to beg rather than work. Keith Olbermann was talking about a free health clinic in KC, Missour, where 83% of the people who came were employed and couldn't afford health insurance. There are many working poor out there. I'm glad I have a big heart like you.

[rd_kent]

14. Never give money! Offer to go buy the gas (or whatever it is they say they need).

You will find that 9 times out of 10, their story will immediately change or they will say, uh, well, my car is way over there, blah, blah, blah....


Its a scam, usually, and if its not, you still got to get them what they needed.

[Nikki Stone1]

27. This is excellent advice.

I do the same when people tell me they are hungry. I offer to buy them food close by. Most folks I have run into in LA, though, are looking for drug money or alcohol money. When you offer to buy them food, they get mad at you. That's when I take off.

[Phentex]

117. Sad, but I have found this to be true as well...

I had a woman ask for money for tampons but she would not let me buy her some.

The guy who asked me for gas money was spotted buying cigarettes in the grocery store just minutes later. What were the odds?

I commend the OP for a big heart but I think these are scams most of the time.

[NikolaC]

118. A good idea

I have given food in the past, but not gas. It's something to try in the future, thanks.

[cloudbase]

16. I've had people approach me for food or gas money.

I offer to buy them the food or gas, but will not hand over any cash. I've only had one taker, and that was for a meal.

[AllentownJake]

20. Back to my Buddhist proverb

There were two monks who were approached by a woman begging for money for her sick baby. The older monk obliges and the younger monk is convinced the woman has scammed them and chides the older monk about it. He follows her to discover she has no baby. When he approaches the older monk he recounts his discovery to the older monk. The older monk exclaims "Great News!" the younger monk gets angry and says what is so great about being ripped off. The older monk says, there is no sick baby.

[NYC_SKP]

23. Zing! Good one. Some are scams, some are not, no evidence in OP that this wasn't legit.

And, does it even matter?

That's a great proverb, I don't remember having heard it before.

:toast:

[AllentownJake]

32. I heard it years ago

Maybe a Pema Chodron book...not sure.

In any regards, best to err on the side of kindness in these situations, and if you do something like this and are scammed, better to focus on the intent you had, than the fact you got ripped off.

[NYC_SKP]

49. It's very Buddhist to give without expectation, conditions. n/t

[BakedAtAMileHigh]

42. that's incredibly awesome

Thank you.

[dana_b]

76. that's the way I see it

I probably am a huge sucker but I work in San Francisco and come across this every day. Many are scamming you but it's safe to say that everyone I have come across is in some kind of need.

[CrispyQ]

100. Wonderful proverb!

:applause: Thanks so much for sharing!

I always keep a stash of singles in my car to hand out. Am I a fool? Maybe. But I don't give a shit. I also don't give a shit what they spend it on. Booze? Hell, they probably need a good stiff drink after all that self-righteous judgmentalism directed their way.

I can't believe some of the responses in this thread. And this is a liberal board. :eyes:

[MissDeeds]

134. Great response

I agree completely! :hi:

[Naturyl]

135. Thank you. Why did it take 100 posts for someone to say this?

This thread is disturbing.

[bobbolink]

149. I wish I could recommend your post!

Thanks for having a heart..... obviously, many have shriveled up.

[juajen]

155. Thank you so much for this very compassionate post.

I, too, give, believing that it doesn't matter what they spend the money on; but that I am fortunate to be in a position to give. I give to the limits of my ability, without breaking my own bank. I have never been sorry, and I make it by the skin of my teeth on my social security benefits.

People in need sometimes just need to know that someone out there cares. Please, all of you consider that sharing wealth is a democratic principal that feeds our soul. We are the ones being tested, not the poor addict who is beyond knowing what to do to improve his condition. Who cares if the money that you can spare goes for a hamburger or a bottle of whiskey. A desperate alcoholic is just as desperate as someone who is starving.

When did people on DU get to be so sanctimonious? Consider, please, that the alcoholic or drug addict does not have a roof over his head, or the comfort of a loving hand. These people are desperate human beings and totally worthy of our change and prayers, and maybe a warm jacket or blanket. For God's sake, where is your humanity? Please do not bother chastising me. My heart tells me when to do something. Make damn sure you folks listen to your heart, not your interfering and selfish brain.

[Techn0Girl]

158. Being Progressive or Liberal doesn't mean being a Mark ....

There are a significant number of worthless people in the world who want what you have but don't want to do the work for it themselves. And just because one is a Progressive shouldn't mean that they are obligated to be a patsy for someone.

And my own experience is that probably less than a fifth (and most likely less than a tenth) of people who beg for money on the street or in a parking lot are really going to use it to better their lives. It will be spent on cigarettes, booze, a fix or a blow job in an alley.

How do I know this?

Because I spent a year and a half being homeless myself. While I was working my way back up, I watched others just trying for another year of handouts. I listened while others networked among themselves about where the good shelters were or how to scam a SSI review into believing you're crazy enough to warrant disability.

There are people who are needy and who are hurting. I was one of them for a time. But I didn't hang out on streets asking for cash. I worked at bettering my situation. I used the existing programs to give me a place to live while I worked.

Of the hundreds of others I encountered , only a small percentage were interested in bettering themselves. The vast vast majority were just trying to get food and shelter for free. The handouts they got on the street went to their addictions.

You get approached by people like these in parking lots and 99 times out of 100 you're only giving someone alcohol or drug money.

[CrispyQ]

177. Re-read my post - I DON'T GIVE A SHIT WHAT THEY SPEND IT ON.

I don't consider willingly giving someone money, without any expectation of how they spend it, being a mark. I feel more like a mark when our government opens our treasury to big finance & the MIC - not when I give some guy on the street $5. I would rather err on the side of compassion than suspicion, when it comes to the guy on the street.

I'm glad you were able to climb out of the hole you found yourself in, but your smug attitude is revolting. It's very easy to judge others within the context of our own lives. Who knows what attributes you possess, that others do not - attributes that allowed you to make your journey the way you did. A stronger sense of self esteem? A better education? Better health? Who knows? But I'm stunned that having been in a like situation yourself, you so easily sit in judgment of others, who are not following the same path out of their desperation that you did.

Yours is the most demoralizing post in this thread.

[Techn0Girl]

179. Re-read my post :)

My guess is that I am the only person in this thread who spent a year and a half living with the homeless.

The truth may hurt but it's still the truth.

I'm a Progressive - but I'm not going to be a mindless idiot about giving away my money to people who do not deserve it ( as opposed to giving it to charitable organizations that need it). I'm not going to do that because it makes me feel a bit better about myself during Christmas so I can continue to ignore the homeless and poverty problem the other 11 1/2 months of the year.

If you want to do something about poverty and homelessness then volunteer at a homeless shelter and/or get involved politically with poverty issues or contribute to organizations like Catholic Charities or U.S. Vets. But giving 10 bucks to some scammer in a parking lot is generally just a way to get a quick "feel-good" fix without really doing anything - in my opinion.

[NikolaC]

119. Thanks for sharing that proverb

it's a pretty wise and good one IMO.

[JNelson6563]

170. Excellent proverb!

I like that wisdom. :toast:

[silverweb]

194. I've heard that one before.

Loved it then, and I love it now. Thanks for the reminder! :)

[whistler162]

21. It happens, last time I helped some one it may have been a scam

or a combination of need/scam.

Person asked for a ride to work and then tried to sell me a gift card for whatever I could spare. Dropped him at "work" and was done with it.


By the way what kind of baby are your husband, son, mother, pregnant sister, her fiancé, his mother and aunt shopping for? Used or new. Standard or automatic, automatic is better.

[grasswire]

48. hehe -- I wondered that too.

I always chuckle when a store says they're having a "baby sale" too.

[NikolaC]

120. LOL

A brand new, standard, kicking, moving and healthy baby boy who is due to arrive in two weeks.

[iamjoy]

28. Her Story Was Probably False

I mean, how come these people who panhandle for "gas money" aren't at a gas station? Wouldn't that make more sense? Heck, if some one came up to me at a gas station I may just pull out my credit card and buy them the gas then and there. Why go over to the Target?

That being said, there are a number of reasons some one may be telling such a tale. I do think (with rare exception) people panhandling are in some kind of desperate circumstance, and trying to come up with the back story they feel will get enough sympathy for people to open their wallets. Me, I never open my wallet around strangers - but I've bought food for the panhandlers hanging around store parking lots, gave half my own lunch sub to one once. On rare occassion if I have loose money in my pocket, I'll hand over that. It's not so much that I mind what their "real story" is, but I feel too vulnerable digging through my purse and pulling out money in those situations.

Now, to hopefully find a way to laugh in the midst of the sadness of people in desperate circumstances -
A few years ago, I was in Las Vegas with my husband, Mom and Step-Dad. On one of the overpass-walkways by the Strip, there was a disheveled looking man with a cup for begging and a sign that said, "I'll be honest, I need the beer." My Step-Dad gave him a couple of bucks. I guess in this case, he was paying for the laugh the guy gave us all (my Step-Dad always drops a few bucks in the case of street musicians, too).

[TlalocW]

30. Don't pay attention to the ones saying it's a scam

There IS a good chance that it was; there's a good chance that it wasn't. Maybe you truly helped someone, and maybe you didn't, but if you did help someone, great! If it was a scam, you're only out $15, and your heart was in the right place.

I've had people approach me for gas, but I insist on buying the gas at a station. Only one person has turned me down. I've also bought a guy a pizza from Little Caesars ($5.00 for a pepperoni) when he came begging for some money for food.

I'd like to think I've helped a few people, but if they all turned out to be scams, I'm not any worse off for it.

TlalocW

[FirstLight]

31. Too many people here full of doubt & cynicism

This is one reason why we don't see as much help for those in need...yes, there are scammers...BUT sometimes we need to realize that EVERYONE is hurting right now.

The OP clearly stated that this woman said she worked in one of the box stores. If he wanted to "check her story' he could have walked to the store with her and asked the mgr if she really worked there or something.

And to the poster that said you can tell they are scamming because they balk at a dollar and that one dollar would buy enough gas to get home - WHAT planet do you live on? Gas is $3.50 a gallon now...so it may take more than a dollar to get home.

If we suspect eachother at every turn, becuase of a few 'bad apples', then how are we supposed to get through this difficult time...? The govt is NOT going to help us and create jobs and programs and make people treat eachother fairly. WE have to start in our own hearts and start bartering and coming together in small community circles, growing community gardens for food, etc.,...

we need to work on Less suspicion of one another - and MORE COMPASSION.


...just my .02

[Uben]

33. So, we punish those in need because of scammers?

Yeah, there are panhandlers out there who do this for a living. We all know that. But what about those who swallow their pride and ask for help when they're in a "spot"? I'm willing to spare a few bucks to help someone in need. HAve I been scammed before? Probably. But when I give money to someone who I truly think needs it, I feel good. I like to think I made a difference.

I've been needy. I've taken handouts. It hurts to swallow your pride. Now, I've got enough that I can help others. I do that with both my time and money. It's as much for me as it is them. I made it through hard times and if I can help another make it through, why should anyone care if I am giving someone my money.

[raouldukelives]

35. Sounds exactly like what AIG did

Just on smaller scale.

[arcadian]

37. I gave a dude hitchhiking 10 bucks.

He was hitching and I gave him a long ride so I know he wasn't scamming, or if he was, he was dedicated to get the ten bucks to go 30 miles out of his way. He didn't even ask me for money, I jusy offered it to him, he was hitching from Delaware to Wilmington NC. I'll try to give a buck or two to people who have signs saying they are on the road trying to get from A to B. I can tell somebody who's been living on the road for a while, I've been there myself, on the long haul.

[goldcanyonaz]

38. Very kind of you, but I'm curious as to why she didn't ask her employer for gas money.

You stated she worked at the "local pet box" whatever that is.

I've been short on money many times in the past when I went to work but could tell by the gas gauge that I wouldn't make it home.

I had to ask others at work or my boss to float me a few bucks to get home.

You're a very kind soul.

[Gman2]

57. You dont want your employer to know you are desperate.

They will take advantage. Even my, in the past not cashing checks right away was enough to think I dont need a raise.

[laughingliberal]

153. That was my exact thought. These days you never know what might count against you at work nt

[Mira]

40. Here's what I do, criticize me if you must, but I'll still continue to do it my way:

I know that 9 out of ten are a scam. It happens to me periodically, and the stories are too similar to be able to tell the real thing from the scammer who wants drug money or Thunderbird.

(just like we all are only a bit different from each other at the core, and there by the grace of God.......)

I don't get sucked in, I hand them 10 dollars, and I say:
"It's highly possible that you are telling me a story, and your need is different from what you are saying. But just in case you are in need of gas to get home, or a sandwich, or a bottle of wine, here is some money to help you out."

Then I forgetaboutit.

Though I don't have a lot, I have enough, and that, with gratitude, sets me apart from that person.

Quite frankly, I have NEVER missed the 10 bucks.

[safeinOhio]

47. I've asked some of those "will work for food" people

with their signs coming off the freeway if they'd be willing to rake some leafs. None have been. Thing is, the first that offers to do it, I'll hand them $20 and be on my way.

[Naturyl]

136. So basically what you're saying is...

You're willing and able to give away the $20, but you withhold it based on a game you are playing with needy people who don't share your "work ethic."

Yeah, good job.

[rd_kent]

180. I think you kind of missed the point.

And seeing how quickly you were to judge what the posters motivation was and to disparage the poster, I see you are as disingenuous as the rest.

[southernyankeebelle]

41. You are a good person and you are the kind of person that makes what is good in america.

Our government and our churches have let the people down. I think our previous generations would be very disappointed in the lack of help that our government can do and the churchs are to busy getting involved in politics to see what is truly wrong in the country. The church is to busy worrying about abortion, people's orientation while everyone is scratching their heads wondering where is the country going? Its going to take people like you and me to help each other. You can't even get senators or congressmen to go to these free clinics to see what is really going on in the country. They are afraid they really will have to act against their buddies the lobbyist, and you know we can't have that.

[Shagbark Hickory]

43. If they really needed gas, they'd probably be asking at a gas station and not at target.

In all likelyhood they just needed some more crack.

[silverweb]

And if the car ran out of gas at the Target?

In all likelihood, you're just very cynical.

[Shagbark Hickory]

94. True enough. nt

[rd_kent]

181. In all likelyhood, you are just a sucker.

It makes perfect sense that one would go to the nearest gas station and ask someone there for help.


Either you have been living under a rock or are just ignorant because this scam has been around forever.



As I stated, I have had this happen to me, and I offer to go buy them some gas. Every time for some reason, when I offer to do that, they have another excuse or start back peddling.

[silverweb]

185. Maybe I am.

I strongly disagree that it would "make perfect sense" to abandon one's vehicle and go to the nearest gas station -- which could be some distance away. I know I'd stay with the car.

In any case, I'd rather give someone the benefit of the doubt and be a "sucker" once in a while than fail to help a person in genuine need when I had the means to do so. In my own life, I've been through many ups and downs, and if it hadn't been for the spontaneous kindness of strangers, would very likely not be the person I am today.

Sometimes you've just got to take a chance and hope for the best -- like that storekeeper who gave a would-be armed robber bread and cash. The potential victim's act of kindness and generosity turned a man's life around completely -- and I'm quite certain similar turn-arounds, though less dramatic, happen more than we'll ever know.

I'm quite willing to risk being suckered every once in a while just for the shot at having a bigger and better effect on someone in real need -- and there are far too many people in real need in our country right now.

[rd_kent]

187. You seem to be trying to rationalize your point.

I strongly disagree that it would "make perfect sense" to abandon one's vehicle and go to the nearest gas station -- which could be some distance away. I know I'd stay with the car. This particular instance took place in a Target parking lot. I have been to a lot of Target stores, and I have never seen one so remote that there was not a gas station within a block or two......


In any case, I'd rather give someone the benefit of the doubt and be a "sucker" once in a while than fail to help a person in genuine need when I had the means to do so. In my own life, I've been through many ups and downs, and if it hadn't been for the spontaneous kindness of strangers, would very likely not be the person I am today. I agree, and I have offered to help them by going and getting them some gas (which is what they said they needed) but every time they suddenly didnt really need that gas anymore...... I AM willing to help with the problem, but I am not going to just hand out cash.....

[silverweb]

192. Okay.

You do things your way and I'll do them mine. :D

[Waiting For Everyman]

45. K&R Compassion is better than cynicism and suspicion.

Good story, and good on you NicolaC. :hug: Keep paying it forward, you won't be sorry. None of us can respond to every need, but I think we know inside which ones to act on. Personally, I have no concerns that my judgment on that has been right enough, enough of the time.

The un-needy deliberate scammers will get the "bad karma" that's coming to them for it, sooner or later. I believe that.

[silverweb]

86. Always.

There are so very many people in genuine need in this country right now, that calling them all "fakes" and "scammers" is just untrue.

Sometimes it's best to just take a chance and trust that the person is "worthy" of your compassion. To assume the opposite is just too Republican for me to stomach.

[FreeJoe]

50. I once stopped...

...to help someone pulled over on the side of the freeway. She was driving a beat up old car. My "scam" radar was on full tilt, but I stopped anyway. She explained that she was driving from Tuscon to Houston trying to get to the hospital there before her father died. She was having car trouble. I was ready for the big "if you could only spare..." line. I didn't get it. Her problem was that her car kept stalling and she needed help push starting it. I got her going and she took off. I met her again in a gas station later that day. She was pulling out a bunch of small bills and coins to pay for her gas. I covered it with my credit card instead. She never asked for money, but it was easy to see that she was in need. I gave her a little extra and another push start and she was on her way. I hope she made it in time.

[goldcanyonaz]

51. +1

[silverweb]

87. +1

:thumbsup:

[etherealtruth]

52. While I have no doubt that some of these folk are scamming ....

I would rather give a couple of bucks to a "scammer" than miss the opportunity to help someone that is truly in need. You should be applauded for your kindness and generosity.

[knitter4democracy]

53. I always figure it is my responsibility to give. It is their's to spend it right.

It's not mine. I am in no position to tell anyone how to spend their resources/money, as I'm struggling to make it myself.

You gave, and likely, you helped. At the very least, you helped yourself to see the suffering everywhere these days. At the most, you helped someone in a dire time of need, and she will never forget it and will instead pay it forward.

[Bertha Venation]

54. Seems you're taking a lot of crap for this, but look at it this way:

You took what the woman said at face value, and gave from your heart. You could not have done anything else. I don't believe you "fell for" some scam. I believe you did what was right for you.

Besides: who are we to judge who is actually in need? How do we know? Honestly. Do we know that people who go to public food pantries truly cannot afford to buy food? We don't, but we give anyway because we know there are those who do need food.

:hug:

[Sal Minella]

58. Not giving when asked impoverishes me.

[Turbineguy]

55. The cardboard signs

bother me. It diminishes us as a species. Never the less, one time I was going to the sauna, got off the freeway and there was a woman with a sign: "I need $20 for groceries." I stopped and gave her $10. She's halfway there. My usual parking lot was full, but low and behold, a parking spot was open directly across the street. It's Seattle so I did the parking machine thing, crossed the street and took my sauna. Naturally I overstayed my time. I couldn't very well cross the street wrapped in a towel.

When I was finally done I left the sauna to discover that I had actually parked in front of a police station. And no parking ticket.

But yes, I pulled into a rest stop once and there was a pathetic looking youth humbly begging for gas money. And nearly everyone he approached gave him folding money. Considering what he collected in 15 minutes, he would have justified an armored truck by the end of the day.

[Gman2]

59. This is bogus, there is always help available in this great and generous country.

Why didnt they just go to the goodies that neocons always complain about? Hell, in getting rich II, by Kevin Trudeau, he talls how to get 500 in just a few minutes.

[silverweb]

88. You forgot the sarcasm thingy.

n/t

[Zomby Woof]

60. A tired old scam at that

I will say her story was slightly more plausible than most I have heard - she even threw in tears (Oscar for her!). I stop 'em cold when I ask them to take me to their car and get out the gas can, so I can fill it up myself. At that point, they mumble some phony nonsensical excuse, and then walk away quickly looking for their next sucker.

It's an epidemic holiday scam, because they KNOW people are more vulnerable to giving this time of year.

[classof56]

63. Right off, let me say you're wrong about not being a good writer. You are!

I commend you for your thoughtful post and for your good deed. May or may not have been a scam, but it's what was in your heart when you gave the money that counts. Again--you did good! I give to those who are on street corners at stop signs as often as I'm able, and confess I'm a sucker for those who have dogs. I hand them some folding money and say, Take good care of that doggie! Maybe I'm still missing my sweet old canine companion who left me a few years ago after being my loving friend for 13 years and has turned out to be irreplaceable so far. Whatever the reason, if I'm able to do so, I share my meager resources with those who say they're in need and have their own faithful companions with them. And your statement about so much that could be done for those in need nailed it. How sad that the wealthiest among us can prosper while others suffer daily!

Blessings

[shadowknows69]

72. Second that on being a good writer. And I've been told I am from some delusional folks here.

[classof56]

89. Well, that you are! I have enjoyed your posts a lot.

And contrary to some opinions, I don't consider myself delusional! As a wannabe novelist and sometime-published short story/humor writer, I'm guessing you've been published too. Am I right?

Blessings.

[shadowknows69]

122. Never published. Unless you count DU lol.

[NikolaC]

123. Thank you and classof56

I usually like reading your posts as well.

[Fire1]

64. You did a wonderful thing and it will come back to you when

you need it most. It is not for me to judge if these people are really in need or not. If what I can spare helps them in any way then I've done what I can. They don't need lectures or judgments from me b/c more often then not, they've already heard it a thousand times before from someone else. I don't need to know their sordid life story b/c most likely there's nothing I can do about it, anyway. The one time I give them a few bucks whose to say that that is not the day and time they use it constructively.

We all may need an angel one day to help us in an emergency or time of need or desperation and I certainly hope the one that shows up for me is just like you. :loveya:

[CreekDog]

65. You may have failed skepticism, but you passed kindness

:hi:

[jberryhill]

67. If someone needs gas money

Offer to go with them to the nearest gas station and buy the gas.

I was almost assaulted once by some guy who needed money for a commuter train ticket to "get back home" when said "okay", went to the ticket window, and bought him a ticket.

[TwilightGardener]

70. Stopped giving money to people who needed "bus/gas money"

back when I was in college--saw the same people, to whom I'd given a buck or two just the day or week before, doing the same song and dance in the same locations over and over again (as others posting above me have said). I've come to appreciate the types of panhandlers who don't bother to make up a story, just approach you and ask for money, thus dispensing with all the baloney.

[Pavulon]

73. Yep, a scam. Funny thing is the same stranded guy

hit me up in a 2 day spread (was driving different car, doubt it would have mattered). Response is the same to all those guys, no ,thank you.

[dysfunctional press]

77. naivety is still alive and well...

don't waste your money or your tears on scammers.

[lightningandsnow]

78. In Hebrew school, as a child, I learned that...

if you give money to 10 homeless people, and only one of them is in need, you have still done a good deed.

I give money to panhandlers. One of them, I see often - she looks about my age and complemented me on the rainbow gloves I was wearing. She had a rainbow bag. I once talked to an alcoholic homeless man for half an hour while I was waiting for my bus. He didn't want any money - he only wanted someone to talk to.

[Naturyl]

138. That's a good policy.

But let me ask you this? Scam or no scam, how could any homeless person *not* be in need? Think about it...

[Liberal In Texas]

80. I get hit with the gas story about 4 or 5 times a year at my local station

and some of the stories are pretty creative. I once put some gas in a guy's can but mostly I just tell them I've heard it all before.

I hope this time you weren't being lied to, but I doubt it.

[laughingliberal]

81. Last December we were down to our last $40. No food, almost out of gas.

We had one refinishing job scheduled to start which kept getting delayed. We could not even have gotten there in the work truck when it did get started. I called a friend in Texas and she wired us a little to buy groceries and gas until we could start on the job site and draw some pay from it. I didn't have to go out on the street and beg for gas money but, had it not been for the fact that my friend had a little to spare at that point, I'm pretty sure that would have been our only option.

Bless you for having empathy for that woman. I have no way of knowing if she was scamming or in genuine need. But, as someone who can easily see us in that position, I am glad there are a few who still care.

[Historic NY]

83. I'd bet she was Home Despot, Lowe's, and all the other store's too...

thats the scam in the look they portray. They approach you, your the one they pick, so she observed you at some point prior. Its been going on in my area for sometime. I followed a guy with a SUV a month or so ago. He approached several cars at Lowes, including mine. He spent more on gas traveling from plaza to plaza.

The $2.00 for a hamburger is now $15 for gas. We had a guy down here that historically went to even shopping center or cross road and setup a sign "will work for food". He solicited donations when he was offered a real job he declined. This went on for years until he began getting arrested for trespassing, etc,. Unfortunately there are people that need out there and these charlatans are taking that kindness away from them.

[Libertas1776]

85. I'm sure there are people who are truly

sincere and desperate, but most are not. This really is an age old scam.

[Marr]

90. Go back next week. I suspect you'll find the same woman, in the same fix,

at the same location.

I've been approached this way many times. I'm sure it happens legitimately as well, but after I had my first repeat strandee, I started viewing them more skeptically.

One guy approached me with this line *at* a gas station. I asked him where his car was and he said it was just around the back. I said I'd buy him gas and help push the car to the pump. He walked away without another word.

My brother did this sort of thing for a long time. The thing that most angered me about it was his attitude towards the people who helped him. He laughed at them-- thought they were suckers who deserved to be scammed.

[Hekate]

96. You have a very kind heart. Next time, though, offer to walk to the gas station with her...

It's very, very sad that there are people out there taking advantage of others' kindness -- it happens from time to time even in my town. Eventually someone will notice the same person or couple telling the same sad story, and a small "watch out" piece will appear in the paper.

OTOH, you gave with a good heart and the blessing comes back to you, no matter if the other person is capable of receiving it or not.

Happy holidays to you and your whole family. :hug:

Hekate

[NikolaC]

124. Thank you

Happy Holidays to you as well :hug:.

[Brickbat]

99. Someday, someone will post a similar thread on Free Republic, and instead of handing over the $15

because she could, the OP will say something like, "And I laughed in that woman's face because man, isn't that the oldest damn scam in the book? Then I told her to give Obama a call; he's probably got some kind of bailout coming for people like her!" And the hand-wringing and tsking on this site will be something to see. But when one of our own helps out -- and really, who gives a shit if it was a scam? The woman actually said "thank you" and was grateful, so if the OP can afford it, WHO CARES? -- she gets condescended to for being naive. WTF?

[Naturyl]

137. Ding ding ding.

This is one of an increasing number of DU threads where it's hard to be sure you're not on FR.

[Zoigal]

101. If you want to follow up, next time you're in the neighborhood

check out if she's in the pet store. Or if anyone with her description works there.
Regardless, kudos to you. IMO you did the kindest thing.....z

[applegrove]

103. I usually give money to people when they ask me at the bus station. I'm almost positive it is a scam

but say to myself what if it is true and someone needs to go home by bus?

[earth mom]

104. Good for you! I totally believe in paying it forward.

:thumbsup:

There have been a couple of occasions since we've lived at this house and have been struggling financially when we got unexpected but much appreciated help from strangers (seriously out of the blue!) and I can't express how wonderful and how grateful it made me feel.

So I try to give when and where I can because it is just the greatest and most humbling feeling in the world to pay that kindness forward.

I don't like organized religion and I don't like organized charity because both of them are more often than not corrupt in their own ways.

I'd rather give to someone when I see a need and feel like I have a chance to make a small difference in that persons life.

[winyanstaz]

105. according to advanced yoga philosophy...

When we do the right thing (what we feel is the right thing to help someone else) in our heart WITHOUT a thought of return or thanks or even appreciation..then it is like putting a depost into our own spiritual bank.
Many people will try to scam you...many people may not say thank you or even appreciate what you do...but if you do it anyways without a thought of reward or thanks but simply because it is the right thing to do...you will not be dissappointed.
For when you need help..it will be there for you. Most likely NOT from the person you helped but it can come from anywhere and places we might not even dream of.....but it will be there.
This has always worked well for me.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

106. When I was volunteering on the MIssissippi Coast in 2006, we had an orientation meeting,

and the priest who ran the center told us not to judge the people who asked for help. He told of a previous volunteer who complained about a woman who always seemed to take more than her share of canned goods from the food pantry. Come to find out that this woman was not scamming but trying to feed 15 homeless relatives, most of them children.

He added that even if the woman had been selling the food, perhaps that was her only source of income.

And even if she was just hoarding it, maybe she had psychological problems and didn't feel safe without a full cupboard.

He advised us, "You can either judge people or serve them. If you serve them and it turns out to be a scam, the sin is theirs, not yours."

That changed my whole attitude. I don't know the person's circumstances.

However, I do give food whenever possible. You're right that if someone is addicted and asks for "money for food" and you offer to buy them a pizza or a sandwich, they'll say something like, "Naa, I already had lunch."

The one time I called the authorities on a scammer was when there was a young woman with three children who haunted downtown Portland in the evenings, walking around with these three kids, one in a stroller, the other two under the age of seven, telling passers-by that she was getting into a shelter the next day and just needed food money for her kids. I ran into her several times, and she was always "just going into a shelter the next day." However, she and the children looked too clean and well-dressed to be real street people. (At the time, I was volunteering in a program for street kids, so I had an idea what living on the streets does to one's appearance. Perfectly groomed hair and expertly applied make-up are not part of the look.)

I surmised that she had some lazy-ass, no-good boyfriend who sent her out spare changing at night.

Whatever the case, it was not good for the children to spend every evening walking aimlessly around downtown.

I reported her to Children's Protective Services.

[katkat]

108. Nikola

It's hard to say, as others have posted, this is an old scam, from way before the economy fell apart.

But perhaps it was genuine, you have to go with your gut. Better to help someone undeserving than not help someone in need.

[Obamanaut]

109. Awhile back I was at my favorite convenience store - where I get all

my gas and cups of coffee. The cashier (they all know me by my first name) told me the lady outside just came to her to 'borrow' $2 for gas so she could get to work on time, but she (the cashier) didn't have any money.

I went to the pump, the lady was standing and staring at the pump. I asked if I could help, swiped my card, and asked her how much she needed. I ended up putting $10 of gas in her car, because that's where she said to stop it.

About two weeks later I went inside to get coffee, and the cashier (a different one) gave me an envelope with my first name on it. The cashier said it had been dropped off a couple of days before. Inside was #15 and a very short note "thanks for the gas."

[goldcanyonaz]

115. Nice, thanks for sharing this with us.

[laughingliberal]

125. What a heartwarming story

The fact is that my husband and I were not always poor. We were never wealthy but our bills were all paid on time and we could have dinner out on the weekend, meet our needs and have a few things we wanted. Our vehicles were reliable and well maintained. We were able to help relatives who went through tough times and we did so, often.

I was generally well dressed and, often, approached in public for those looking for money. I generally did dig in my pockets and give a few dollars if I had it (never carried much cash).

I knew the attitudes of others about this, that I was an idiot and a sucker and "those people...." My thoughts on that were that I would rather part with a couple of dollars for one that was scamming than misjudge and deny someone who really was desperate the tiny bit of help my couple of dollars might bring.

I'm poor now and may wind up living on the streets at some point and am so glad I had that attitude and, God knows, I hope there are some like me out there should it come to that for me.

[undeterred]

110. You did right by helping her instead of judging her.

Last winter a woman who I had seen regularly at the dog park asked me in the parking lot if I could lend her money for gas. I had spoken to her a few times but I didn't really know her. So I suggested we drive to a gas station and I would put it on my debit card.

I put $20 worth of gas in her truck and she thanked me profusely. We exchanged names and numbers and she said she would meet me at the dog park when she got her check (disability income, I think). The next time I saw her she said she didn't have the money and apologized profusely.

When she had first asked me I wondered why she was driving around if she couldn't afford gas... finally it occured to me that she was living in her vehicle. She confirmed this when I asked her. The idea of someone getting through a winter in Wisconsin in their car or truck overwhelms me.

I told her not to worry about the money, but she paid me back a few months later anyway. I am glad she saw me as the kind of person she could ask for help when she needed it.

I haven't seen her since the weather turned cold. I hope she is somewhere safe and warm.

[Greyhound]

111. What a wonderful gesture, thanks you. I know that this is a very popular scam, but

I believe you can tell the difference, and in any case I'm sure the money was appreciated.
:kick: & R

[EFerrari]

160. If the money was needed, it's not a scam.

Poor people get the idea they have to come up with a story because the simple fact of their need isn't enough.

[onethatcares]

113. give with an open heart

you'll get it back in spades.

Peace

[Paper Roses]

114. Whatever anyone says, your heart was in the right place.

Happy Holidays. Not all people in need are scammers. Whether this one was or not, you did a good deed by helping. It was a kind gesture, not to be torn apart. The scammers will get their due someday.

[weareallzombies]

121. You are a sweet person.

I am approached nearly every time I venture out by people with sad stories asking for money. More often than not I will give them a few bucks if I have any money on me (I don't carry cash often though). I think that it's great that people out there have hearts to give to the needy but I was approached the other day by a man claiming he was visiting from Austin and had become homeless a week before and needed gas money to get back. The only problem was I have seen this guy for years begging on the corner for money so I knew he was lying, and I feel if you can't be honest to me about why you want a handout I won't give you a handout.

But anyway, I think it's very kind of you to help a person out.

[Techn0Girl]

127. Thank you for your generosity-if you really want to help someone, I happen to be a Nigerian Princess

and my entire family fortune is being held up in that country by the opposition. In order to get it out (and feed my starving children) I need a kind soul to use their bank account to withdraw my 15 million . I just need a few banking details to help the transaction go through....

P.S. I promise to donate half of my fortune to starving orphans if you do this!

[proteus_lives]

128. Probably a scam.

But your heart is in the right place.

Next time, offer to full their tank yourself so you know you're not financing a crack rock or bottle of Thunderbird.

[Liquorice]

130. In downtown Atlanta, people aggressively beg every single day. If you don't

give them money, some of them will yell and call you names. I experience it all the time. It's very sad, but also irritating after a while.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

152. Happens in Boston too

I've seen women assaulted right in front of Fenway Park (it wasn't a game day, they were going in the box office) by crazy panhandlers grabbing them.

I once was solicited for money while carrying some hamburgers for a guy who claimed he hadn't had food in three days. I offered him an extra burger I had, and he slapped it out of my hands and said "I NEED MONEY, YOU ASSHOLE!". Never again.

[RebelOne]

169. Not just in downtown Atlanta,

but up here in Woodstock, GA also. I have been approached in gas station and Kroger parking lots.

[Liberal_in_LA]

184. use to happen in downtown Los Angeles in the business district. They'd yell

"you have money". It was unpleasant. Not sure if it still goes one, LAPD might have cracked down on it.

[janx]

131. It is a scam, but I succumbed to it today as well.

Just after I exited the grocery store, a young woman approached me and told me that she was from Mesa, Arizona, and that her boyfriend here in ABQ had recently dumped her and left her with nothing. He had talked her into moving in with him, saying that she didn't need a job, etc.. She told me that she stupidly became dependent on him, which is what he wanted her to do. She was panhandling money to pay for a $40.00 bus ticket home.

I know the story and I know the scam about asking for gas/bus money. I've turned down people before. But in this case--and even though I'm hanging on by one fingernail financially--I thought, "What if this ISN'T a scam this time? Would it be better to assume it's a scam, as I have before, or would it be better to risk a possible scam in case she's telling the truth?" In addition, she didn't resemble most of the scammers I've seen previously. She wasn't burned out, and she was very articulate.

I gave her ten bucks and told her that if she was indeed telling me the truth, I wanted her to never put herself in that situation again. EVER.

:shrug:

So I'll never know if she was telling the truth. But on the very slim chance that she was, I don't feel at all bad about giving her ten dollars. Tis the season, after all. ;-)

[Techn0Girl]

139. The sad thing is that you most likely helped enable a drug or achool addiction ....

No disrespect to you and I am NOT at all saying the following regarding yourself but my feeling is that a whole lot of people out there know on some level that these people are scamming but it's easier for them to give five bucks here and there around Christmastime and rationalize that they are fine people then it is to really donate their time and energy year round to eliminate poverty through real political action.

It;s a win-win for the holidays really - the addict gets some cash for another fix and some person gets to think they are a real fine person for another year. And all it takes is five bucks. Many of those very same people would vote out funds for the homeless because it costs too much or vote out a homeless shelter if it were too near their home because their home value might go down.

But if you people want to help with poverty than they should volunteer at a homeless shelter once a week year round and / or become politically active on local issues involving jobs and poverty.

Every dollar we spend in war is a dollar the needy will never see.

[janx]

140. "No disrespect to you and I am NOT at all saying the following regarding yourself"

...

"But if you people want to help with poverty"


Read my post again, please. ;-)

[moobu2]

154. I used to have the philosophy that

If someone could convince me, beyond a reasonable doubt, that they really needed help, id give them the benefit of the doubt and help them. Once though, this guy came up and told me his house had been broken into and his money was stolen. This happened where I worked and he pointed to this house across the street as his residence. The guy said he needed money for bus fair to get to work, or he would get fired, and a little bit for lunch. He said he would pay me back on payday...so I gave him $10. When he left, I watch him go, not to that house, but to a car parked on the street that he got into and drove off. I’m very reluctant to help anyone now. Not only because of that situation, there’s just to many petty grifters usually looking for money to get high.

[MissDeeds]

132. Thank you for sharing this with us

And get over that "I'm not much of a writer" nonsense. You write beautifully. You did a wonderful thing by giving the woman money, money that was not only a gesture of benevolence, but a sacrifice. Now what she may or may not have done with it is up to her. Your act of compassion is commendable.

Years ago, when my husband and I were first married, we had a situation not too much different from yours. It was just before Christmas, and my husband had returned from a two week National Guard exercise. We were thrilled with the extra money as we were still struggling financially and it was so near the holidays. As we pulled out of the parking lot of a local grocery store, we saw a middle aged couple, perhaps husband and wife, standing in the cold, holding sign that read "Will work for food". We pulled over and gave them money. They insisted they wanted to work for it, and we declined, saying we had nothing for them to do, but we wanted them to have a warm meal on us. As we pulled away, I saw them in the review mirror with their arms around each other, her head against his shoulder. Perhaps she was crying. I know I was.

When we told others about it, they told us it was a scam, that we were duped. But still, to this day, I regret not that we gave them money, but that we didn't have more to give them. Maybe we were scammed. Maybe you were. But I know that I'd do it all over again, and I'll bet you would too. I'd rather be scammed than to turn my back on someone in need that I had the chance to help.

[era veteran]

133. There is a guy who works every hotel on I 75 with this con.

He is good too. I hope you nice people did really help a needy person but I have seen a lot of variations of this con. Peace, Richard (you did make a deposit in the Karma bank)

[jules1962]

146. This scam happens everywhere,everday

I applaud people when they want to help one another, but it's a shame that we have our doubts about helping someone when they ask for it. I have worked for a large retailer for many years and believe me,I have heard every story imaginable. What really irks me is for a man to approach a woman in a dark parking lot. I don't care if there really is a problem or not. I just feel that no man should ever do this. It is very intimidating for a lot of women. One night about 1:00 am, I was outside talking to a co-worker and she was telling me of a man that approached her the night before with some farfetched story about needing gas money. Well, wouldn't you know it, about 5 minutes later the man approached me while I was talking to her. Needless to say, I loudly chastised him for being a con and told him that he was a disgrace to the people that really needed help. Several people were in the parking lot and it got there attention. I then told him to leave or I would have him arrested for trespassing. Needless to say he got out of there. People like him really piss me off. It is people like him that make us cynical. My only advice is to listen to your inner voice. I just don't agree to anyone approaching someone for money in a dark parking lot. That is way to dangerous.

[alphafemale]

191. Exactly. Or those that approach you just asking for a cigarette (or light)

Most of the time you are being profiled for a robbery.

[bobbolink]

141. NOBODY should have to beg in the richest country in the world!

I appreciate your story, and more, appreciate your giving heart.

But please remember... when you single out "working" people as those who are in need, remember that sick, and old and injured people are who you are leaving out as "unworthy".

This has become the mantra, and it is hurting so many of us.

Please, I beg you to rethink your wording.

[NikolaC]

165. Thanks

You are right about the wording, it was not my intention to exclude those who are not working. I feel for all who are suffering.

[silverweb]

193. +1

:thumbsup:

[aikoaiko]

147. You have a big heart and thank you for that.

But, as others said, you probably got conned.

http://www.snopes.com/fraud/distress/stranded.asp

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

150. Happened to me once a few years ago when gas prices were through the roof

Guy comes up to me in the grocery store parking lot at ten o'clock at night (NOT a good move pal) and gives me some story about how he was out on a job and lost his wallet, and needed to get back to his house an hour away. Told him sorry, no cash.......and he asks me if I could get some from the ATM. Had my hand on the pepper spray in coat at that point, but I told him I was unemployed and couldn't spare it and he went away. Still, it worried me if he approached someone older or a woman if he would have become more threatening.

In this case, I probably would have given her the money. The story seemed more believable. Although not $15 bucks.

[chrisa]

174. Wow. That's scary.

The ATM thing.

[NanceGreggs]

156. You did the right thing ...

... whether the recipient of your generosity did the right thing or not after-the-fact is of no consequence. You did the right thing.

I have often been berated by friends and acquaintances for giving money to the homeless on our city's streets. "They're probably just scamming you." I hear that all the time.

And what if they're not?

That particular question is answer enough, IMHO.

[PJPhreak]

159. I also keep about $5 bucks in my pocket just ot give away...

And I will continue to do so for as long as I live.

Why?

If you ever see or have seen this..."Visions Of A Cheesburger"....It may very well have been Me!


From someone who has had to beg to eat...Thank You!

[Shanti Mama]

162. In many parts of the world, such as here in Nepal,

there is no gas to be had, no matter how much you're willing to pay.

So, scam or not, there are a number of sides to such a story.

[JonLP24]

164. For gas or not

I'd still give it to them if I had it. What they choose to do with it is what they choose to do with it. I could care less if it's for alcohol or drugs. Me not giving that person will not stop them from using and as far some homeless it's hard to live under a bridge sober.

[maryf]

167. Hope this isn't a dupe...

Matthew 25:40 Whatsoever you do unto the least of my brethern you do unto me...
I'd much rather be scammed than risk not helping someone I could, how would those here who are so sure it was a scam feel if they found out it wasn't?? (Sadly, I think not too horrible)
K&R for your heart...

[JNelson6563]

168. People like you

make me wish there really was a heaven. :toast:

[caraher]

186. Sometimes a scam, sometimes not

Last time I got a "I need gas money" story he said he didn't have enough to get home, and we were close to a gas station. I told him to get the car, and he showed up with one. I didn't give him money; I filled his tank.

So it's not always a scam. But I also know it often is, and I tend to prefer not to hand out cash if I can help other ways.

[pinniped]

188. There was one dude in downtown San Francisco wearing a beat up looking suit,....

asking for money to get his car out of a parking lot. He supposedly came from the cigar club and can't ask his buddies for $$$$ because they would laugh at him. Hell, his buddies would already be laughing at him for wearing a beat up looking suit in a fancy cigar club.

[Tippy]

189. There are a lot of scam artists out there today

I have helped people all my life, and have received help a few times....if you ae a giving person then do as mentioned above stash $5....Never but never tell them you have a Credit/Debit card....Also keep the phone number of the local Mission handy eiter give them the number of call it yourself for them...The Churches in our area ae doing a fantastic job helping those in need...I donate to them...One time I kept a homeless person in my home....I was uneasy but the weather was terrible and it was getting on toward dark and coudn't turn anyone out on a night like that...Didn't sleep much but nothing happened....The next morning he finnaly got in touch with his sister and she came after him...

[callous taoboy]

190. I had an old wino approach me yesterday

and he said, "Bullshit aside, I need a bottle of wine." I gave him a buck.

[itsrobert]

195. You were scamed

Don't give a dime to these theives.