My letter to Wesley Pruden (Moonie Times)

[11 Bravo]

Dear Mr. Pruden,
Now that "God's Representative on Earth" has decided to stop pouring money down an ideological rathole, what is left for the "Editor Emerituts" of the self-proclaimed "America's Newspaper"? Yes, just as water seeks its own level, the Washington Times has now assumed its rightful place in the journalistic hierarchy, somewhere in between free advertising circulars and the grocery inserts included in Washington D.C.'s only REAL newspaper.
But my concern is for you. Now that the Moonie tit has been sucked dry, are you going to have to leave the scribbling of sophomoric snark to ... you know .. actual sophomores? Oh, how the mighty have fallen!
But fortunately, the Washington Post continues to have a circulation approximately 15 times greater than your little rag ever enjoyed, even at the height of your "popularity". Surely they will still be hiring delivery boys. Of course, if you're as competent at that as you were at your former job, I suppose I can look forward to finding my paper in the middle of a puddle on most mornings, but we all have to make a few sacrifices. Best of luck.