The Horns of a Dilemma

[Pab Sungenis]

Readers here should be very familiar with my financial situation: bad economic conditions forced me to close my business two years ago, throwing five people out of work. Then after my insurance had lapsed (I didn't have enough coming in to pay the ridiculous amounts I would have needed to switch my policy from group to individual), four hospitalizations and three surgeries left me with over a quarter of a million dollars in hospital bills, which along with other family tragedies wiped out my savings.

Now, even though I'm technically employed again, we're still barely bringing in enough to keep food on the table for the two of us. Our mortgage ended up in default during (and due to) the stints in the hospital and Sheriff's Sale for our house is scheduled for January 19th.

Here's the sad part: I could guarantee a roof will stay over our head, and maybe solve most of my economic problems. The problem is that to do that I'd have to become just like the people who are holding their economic sword over my head, which I really don't want to do.

One of the few things left to me by my Grandfather after the lawyers, the bankers, and the hospital bills were done with it is a mortgage. I hold the mortgage on a house in town, which my grandparents underwrote back in the 1980's. It's currently occupied by an elderly widow, who along with the husband bought the house from my grandparents.

And like so many other mortgage borrowers, myself now included, the widow is far behind in payments. She hasn't made a payment in over six months, including making her payments towards property taxes. Under the terms of the mortgage, I could have foreclosed on her four months ago, but knowing my own dire straits I have been hoping to work with her to modify her mortgage and work her way out of the hole.

I no longer have that luxury. I don't have the money to keep paying her property taxes without any money coming in. I don't have the income from the mortgage to help me pay my own. In other words, I'm stuck.

The banks are getting billions of dollars to supposedly do what I've been trying to do on my own with this woman, even though they haven't been too eager to use that money to work out a new payment schedule for me. There is no TARP money to help small lenders like I wound up being, and no government program to help me out as I try to manage this toxic asset of my own, which in turn helps make a bank's asset toxic as well.

I could foreclose, and move the two of us into her house. But then I'd be putting an elderly woman out on the street, which is a blanky thing to do even if you're legally entitled to. Or I could sell her mortgage at a loss to a predatory investor, who would give me enough money upfront to get my own mortgage out of default, at least keeping a roof over my head. But, again, that would lead to them doing the same exact thing I don't want to do. The metaphorical blood would still be on my hands, even if it passed through a second party to get there.

I've done everything I can to try and ride out the situation, even soliciting donations on my comic strip's website to help cover my bills, but I can't beat the clock this time.

If any of you have any answers, I would love to hear them.

[mike_c]

1. do what you know is the right thing, even if it hurts you and your family....

You're going to have to look at yourself in the mirror for a while, yet. Best wishes to you, my friend.

[MineralMan]

5. A difficult dilemma. I don't believe I'd be telling him that his

family should suffer. That's easy to say if you're not in the position of losing your own home, I think.

It seems to me that there is not a really good answer here. Certainly not a facile one from someone not affected. Sorry.

[mike_c]

6. sorry if I gave the impression of glibness....

That was certainly not intended. The OP asked for advice, and mine was to stay true to his principles, even if it hurts himself and his family. If it was me, I'd be proud of myself for that, even if it caused suffering, but I'd be ashamed forever if I caused the suffering by abandoning my principles. I have some limited, but still painful experience in that regard, even decades later.

Sorry if I gave any other impression.

[wtbymark]

2. I just want to complete those lyrics - they are apt

These are the horns of the dilemma
What truth this proof against all lies?
When sacred fails before profane,
The wisest man is deemed insane.
Even the purest of romantics compromise.

Chorus:
C#m | C#m |
What fixation feeds this fever
C#m | C#m |
As the full moon pales and climbs?
C#m F#m | C#m A |
Am I living truth or rank deceiver?
C#m F#m | C#m A |
Am I the victim or the crime,
C#m F#m | C#m A |
Am I the victim or the crime,
C#m F#m | C#m ||
Am I the victim or the crime, or the crime?

on edit: written by Weir/Barlow

[bemildred]

3. Maybe she needs to rent now.

Maybe you could even help her with that.

[Pab Sungenis]

4. Her mortgage payment, believe it or not, is only $311.00 a month.

The cheapest houses and apartments around here go for $500.00, no pets.

[boston bean]

7. move in with her?? nt

[bemildred]

10. Yep, it's a whole house, that could work. nt

[WeDidIt]

8. How big is the house you hold the mortgage on

Maybe there's some sort of a mutually beneficial solution whereby your family can move in and she can stay.

[liberalmuse]

9. That's definitely a difficult one.

That is about the most desperate situation you don't want to be in. Most of us would do anything to protect our families. And many would not want to sacrifice the well-being of another to do so, but most likely would. Maybe you could move in and let her know she can live with you? I don't know how big the house is, so that may not be feasible. That you are even at a dilemma with this shows that you are better than most people, who wouldn't have to think twice about putting that woman out of that house. I guess all I can do is send good vibes your way (if there is such a thing) and hope that everything falls into place for you in a way that is satisfactory for both you, your conscience and the elderly lady.