Our World, Their World, My World - Democratic Underground

grantcart

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Thu Dec-17-09 11:53 AM
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Our World, Their World, My World

Our World

Either we have submitted 4 applications and have been denied coverage for a trivial non life threatening condition or we have a plan at work and last month spent 1 1/2 hours on a claim information line trying to find out why our Doctor is upset that the standard claim from last February has not been paid only to find the person telling us that since the claim is now 6 months old we have to call a different number with another 2 hour wait expected.

Their World

They are briefed by an intelligent graceful articulate information officer, Edward, (he's "not" a lobbyist because this fellow never discusses campaign contributions, thats the bagman). He readily admits that there are problems to be solved and even intimates that there is a cabal of "young turks" that are struggling to gain control of the "policy review board" so that the "medical loss ratio" of the company will be adjusted from 65% to "nothing less than 70%". Edward can quote Keates. Edward happens to have just read a biography on your favorite baseball player and relates a funny anecdote about how he met his wife. Edward is concerned about your pet project in the Sudan and recommends that a request is made so that the Health Care consortium foundation can help raise half of the $ 10 million needed for vaccines. Edward is certain that "we are going to get this done". Edward knows that "we are going to get through this if we all give a little".

Before he goes Edward is able to share some additional information on their "personal health care plans at FEHB". While Edward cannot speak for all of the plans United Concordia is pleased to announce that they are only going to increase the cost 3% this year and no change of benefits. Edward forgets to tell them that OPM rejected Concordia's request for 8% and major reductions of care.

Also Edward has a parting gift for everyone in the office. Its not expensive and doesn't even qualify as a gift and won't be reported. Its a refrigerator magnet that has all of the FEHB "Federal Employee Hotline Numbers". There are about 2 million federal employees and exactly 12,171 refridgerator magnets have been produced. Coincidentally there are 12,171 staff that work in the legislative branch of the government. Remarkably all of the calls to the numbers on these magnets are answered in 20 seconds or less and a satisfactory answer is either received on the line or within 24 hours.

Our World

The Gramling Family next door is facing a heartbreaking point in their lives. Chet is their special needs son. Next month is his 19th birthday and even though he lives independently next month he will come off their family plan. Private plans are not likely to accept him except for expensive catostrophic.

Their World

Eveyone is still talking about how fantastic Sheryll from down the hall looks after her kidney transplant. Isn't modern science a miracle!

Our World

Our brother Steve has just got himself off his feet after looking for a job for a year. Steve gave up looking for a job and found that he could use the same skills he had before to work as a contract worker at 3 smaller companies. Nine months out of the year he will be earning 70% of what he did before and the other three months that there is no work he's going to work on his diet and exercize. Steve wasn't so good at math and doesn't realize that including benefits he will be earning 50% of what he made last year.
No health company will except Steve for some trivial reason but really they don't like his demographic.

Their World

The Senator's provider sent them a notice saying that they noted that the Senator's wife was not included in their plan. They wanted to make sure that the Senator was aware of an obscure rule that dependent's cannot be added to plans in retirement. If Mrs. Senator plans to use Concordia as her health care plan then the Senator needs to add her on 5 years before retirement and there are only 5 days left of open season. Oh and coincidentally Edward will be by this afternoon and he can help you navigate that tricky web page.

Our World

We absolutely hate, and I mean deep down teeth nashing, clothes wrenching, Old Testament Prophet locus eating hate; we hate dealing with our insurance carrier's and many of us don't have one and those in that situation are overflowing with hate. I am talking about the kind of hate that causes our dentists to say "You seem to be grinding your teeth alot and need a mouth guard, it costs abuot $ 900".

Their World

Edward is a fine man. If there were more Edwards at Concordia these problems wouldn't exist.

My World

I like President Obama and I respect him. OK I love the guy. Our lives have some similar points, giving up a flashy career to take a service one, hell I even have lived in Indonesia. Our tone is similar.

Mr. President here's the problem. As much as I love and respect you I hate the insurance companies more.

But the basic rule of Politics 101 is simply high negatives out weigh high positives.

You need to step away from this bill. You do not want to marry the insurance industry and take all of the blame for everything they do from now on. Remember how your wife said that 4 years from now would be "too late" because it would change you.

Come back to our world. Its where you belong.

Oh and by the way Edward is a high functioning cocaine addict that pays a prostitute to drip wax on his genitals twice a week.