Senate Unveils "CompromiseCare"

[garybeck]

Received this by email.... don't shoot the messenger. Just thought it was worth sharing.

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Senate Unveils CompromiseCare
Details of Healthcare Plan Revealed


WASHINGTON -- The United States Senate today unveiled details of its health care plan, tentatively called CompromiseCareTM:

Under CompromiseCare(TM), people with no coverage can choose between purchasing private health insurance or jail, where health care will be provided.

People in jail can choose between paying for their health care with cash, or by accepting a penalty of extending their stay.

Medicare will be extended to 55-year-olds as soon as they turn 65.

You will have access to cheap Canadian drugs if you live in Canada.

States whose names contain vowels will be allowed to opt out of the plan.

You get to choose which doctor you cannot afford to see.

You will not have to be pre-certified to qualify for cremation.

A patient will be considered "pre-existing" if he or she already exists.

You'll be free to choose between medications and heating fuel.

Patients can access quality health care if they can prove their name is "Lieberman."

You will have access to natural remedies, such as death.

[pissedoff01]

1. You forgot:

Approved providers for cremation services:

Waste Management, Inc
Allied Waste Industries
Republic Services, Inc
etc

[garybeck]

2. LOL! But are you sure those are non-union providers?

nt

[MNDemNY]

6. And : Alpo, Purina, Iams...............

[Skidmore]

3. Big Money and Big Bidness cull the herd.

[MNDemNY]

4. Now THIS I can support!!

[leftstreet]

5. LOL

[TK421]

7. Just as long as I get to choose how I die

[Blasphemer]

8. Can I laugh and cry at the same time? nt

[garybeck]

12. yes but remember that can create a serious pre-existing condition. n/t

[WeDidIt]

9. They'll come back and fix it

Under the fix, cremation will become illegal and all cadavers will be transported to Foodco to be used in the manufacture of Soylent Green.

[garybeck]

10. and don't forget the death surcharge

they'll repeal the "death tax" for the rich but implement a new surcharge to pay for the Soylent Green processing.

[CrispyQ]

11. To this line,

"People in jail can choose between paying for their health care with cash, or by accepting a penalty of extending their stay." I would add: "One of the benefits of this provision is that, the multi-national corporations who have outsourced their call centers overseas, will bring those centers back to the United States. Health care criminals will man these centers at a wage of 5¢ per call, thus bringing badly needed jobs back to the States & improving the language barrier that many customers experience with off-shore call centers."