Show Santa you meant well. . . . please come CAPTION Head Wreck!!!

[skip fox]

Fed Dreck is saying "Heck, America, we don't need Communist-Terrorist health care. I had the answer to all of this when I was a small boy. You see, there was a weird kid next door who was always bugging me, so I got him to come over one day and played my favorite game: Spastic Proctologist. . . . Wow! What a game!!!. . . . And after that first day he was cured. . . . He never bugged me or tried to come over again. . . . I doubt if he's been to a doctor's office since. . . . America, can you imagine that on the national scale?"

[HopeHoops]

1. "So I got the dog on his back and put on this glove, but MAN was that a gross job."

[skip fox]

2. "America, don't listen to my critics. If I was as witless as they say

would I be smart enough to protect my identity by wearing rubber gloves so I wouldn't leave fingerprints or particles of skin that my enemies can use to make tiny fetishes they can torture while I'm going insane on the other side of the globe? . . . That's just good old common sense. . . . The opposite of crazy! . . . Hell, America, they used to call Chicken Little paranoid too!!"