New Year's Resolutions? Got any good ones? DU-able ones?

[SoCalDem]

Here are a few clever ones:)

Please add yours

Spin Cycle: New Year's resolutions we can live with
http://www.mercurynews.com/bay-area-living/ci_14051582?nclick_check=1

By Joan Morris
Contra Costa Times
Posted: 12/26/2009 01:00:00 AM PST

Fluffing and folding the news

First resolution

Hanukkah, done. Christmas, check. Time to move on to New Year's and those irksome resolutions. We aren't so great at making ones for ourselves, but we've got some suggestions for others. Starting with the need to cut back on caffeine. A 52-year-old Michigan man apparently was jonesing for a cup of Joe so badly that after being stabbed during an attempted robbery, he walked a half mile to a diner, called for an ambulance, then sat down and ordered a cup of coffee — all with a knife sticking out of his chest. We hate to think what he'd do for a double mocha latte.

Second resolution

If you've ever tried to sell a stolen lizard in order to buy booze, gotten drunk and ripped the beard off Santa or had the words "alcohol may have been involved" included in an accident report, perhaps you should reconsider your New Year's beverage consumption plan.

We're hoping two Kentucky men who stole a lizard from an animal hospital and tried to exchange it for liquor at two stores, and the 19-year-old woman who snatched Santa beardless and ended up being charged with public intoxication and possession of alcohol by a minor, will think twice before imbibing. At the very least, we hope they woke up Christmas morning to empty stockings. And really, really bad hangovers.

Work on this basic concept: parents are the adults; children are, well, children. Parents, not children, are in charge. We feel compelled to include this suggestion after learning a Boston woman called 911 to report that her 14-year-old wouldn't stop playing "Grand Theft Auto."

Not couldn't — wouldn't. Until the cops told him to go to bed.

There is an off switch on that thing, isn't there?

[Warpy]

1. I'd have hit the main breaker for the house

"Woops, power failure, time to go to bed."

That game would have been confiscated the next day.

[SoCalDem]

2. When my kids were young, that pesky connector cord thingie

used to get "lost" from time to time..:evilgrin:

[applegrove]

3. The Atkins diet for me. I don't know if I'll be able to do the Induction phase. I hate salad.