My oldest daughter (22 yrs.) got married this afternoon.

[rateyes]

Beautiful bride, if I do say so myself. Lovely wedding. Enjoyed a father's dance with his daughter. So, the day was great.

But, I have to tell this story. My wife and my other two daughters left the house early to help get things squared away with the caterer, florist, photographer, etc. I stayed home a little longer to take care of the dozen dogs we foster.

Well, I get the dogs up and start getting ready for the wedding when the doorbell rings (I'm upstairs). The dogs go crazy barking. I look outside the window and see a brown van parked out in front of my house. I decide to ignore the bell.

A full minute and a half later, the doorbell rings again. Same people. I quickly put on some blue jeans and a t-shirt to go downstairs, thinking that if they don't go away the dogs are going to keep up a racket.

As I get to the door, it rings again. I'm a little ticked that they hadn't already left by this time. I open the door a crack (I don't want three of the dogs who run loose in the house to get out) and see a man and a young boy (maybe 8) both dressed in suits and holding Bibles and a Watchtower magazine (Jehovah Witness).

I say out the door, "I'm sorry, but I'm getting dressed for my daughter's wedding, and I don't have time to talk with you."

The man snidely remarks with a smirk on his face, "Is this the usual response you give when people like us show up at your door?"

I'm really pissed off now, and I say, "Sir, I'm getting dressed for my daughter's wedding, so NO THIS IS NOT MY USUAL RESPONSE! MY USUAL RESPONSE IS, 'I'M NOT INTERESTED. DON'T COME BACK!' I then proceeded to close the door in their faces (the young boy looking at me like I'm going to hell for being so rude to his daddy--imagine that!)

Note to Bible Thumpers: Insulting the people you are trying to "reach" by suggesting they are lying to you doesn't do much for your cause.

Anyway, I'm sitting here now eating a piece of wedding cake, thinking of my daughter on her honeymoon night.

Peace.

[Skittles]

1. I can honestly say

I've had so many Bible-thumpers at my door but they have always been unfailingly nice and polite

[phasma ex machina]

22. +1

[roguevalley]

37. me too, Mormons and Jehovah Witnesses. Actually, they have been

awesomely nice and decent. CONGRATS on your baby's beautiful day by the way. MAZEL TOV!

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. Congratulations on your daughter's marriage!

And biggo bonus points for the superb way you told off that jackass!

Enjoy your cake...you've earned it.

:toast:

[rateyes]

3. Had my cake, and eating it, too!

:toast:

[Quantess]

4. Too bad you put clothes on first.

Answering the door in underwear would have made a statement.

[rateyes]

6. Probably would have gotten rid of them more quickly.

:rofl:

[UrbScotty]

9. ROFL!!

:rofl:

[yourout]

5. Funny story.....I grew up on a dairy farm and on a rather warm summer day I.....

was cleaning out the calf pens that were aeromatic to say the least when the Watchtower clan showed up. They started talking to me and I kept getting closer to them while they got closer to their car. They did not seem to have much of a nose for trying to convert me.

[rateyes]

15. Yeah. I was washing my car one day when they showed up.

I told them I'd talk with them so long as each of them had a sponge in their hand helping me wash the car. (You know, kind of a "walk the walk rather than just talk the talk" kinda thing).

They left.

I've seen them talking to people carrying loads of groceries, and not bother to ask if they needed a helping hand.

[HipChick]

7. Congratulation on your DD weddings...but

but Bible Thumpers regret knocking on my door, I tell them that I am going to put a spell on them...it must be working, as they very rarely come by anymore

[rateyes]

8. I couldn't believe that question. "Is this your usual response."

The thing is, I probably would have talked with them had I had the time. But, when he asked that question that's what came out of my mouth.

[tavalon]

48. My high Priest used to invite them in

He loves debate. They always regretted it. He's really, really good at debate.

[Mz Pip]

10. I really hate it

the way these folks drag their little kids along with them; kind of like human shields against people actually speaking their mind.

I've got a peep hole so I usually can see who's out there. I did inadvertantly open the door to a couple of Mormon missionaries a few months ago. In retrospect I wish I hadn't been so polite.

Congrats on your daughter's marriage. Enjoy the cake!

Mz Pip

[rateyes]

12. I thought to myself about that kid that I hope when he grows up

he is able to extract himself from that kind of stuff.

[Ex Lurker]

17. JW's are some messed up people.

About Mormons, I know people who enjoy inviting them in and debating them. If you're well enough versed in scripture (I'm not) you can turn them in circles. When that happens you get put on what amounts to a do not call list and they quit showing up at your door.

[tavalon]

49. If it gives you any hope, some of us actually do

I was raised Southern Baptist. But, I will admit that I questioned, early and often. And when I couldn't ignore the blatant conflicts any more, I left (at the ripe old age of 19).

[StarfarerBill]

11. Congratulations to your daughter!

:)

[rateyes]

13. Thank you.

:hi:

[Ex Lurker]

14. your first mistake was answering the door

They're in my neighborhood almost every week, and I've never had them ring more than once, before they stick their tract in the mailbox and leave.

The thing about JW's is they are commanded to evangelize. BUT, they also believe that only 144,000 will go to heaven. So every convert they make is more competition for the available slots. Therefore, in my experience they don't try very hard to actually save souls. I suspect the guy you encountered was happy with the outcome: He fulfilled his duty, while at the same time alienating you so you don't elbow him out of the way at the boarding gate to heaven.

[rateyes]

18. Yeah, I've heard them before. 144,000 of the best JWs in the "new heaven"

all the rest of the JWs on the new earth, and everyone else annihilated (no hell).

That was one smug bastard on my porch today, though. Wonder what makes him think that kind of attitude will win him a spot as one of the 144,000.

On edit: I answered it to shut up the barking dogs. The guy rang the bell 3 times in what had to be a 5 minute period. Jerk wouldn't go away.

[jmm]

24. Not all of them want to go to heaven.

They do believe the number of people who go to heaven will be limited but those who survive Armageddon or are resurrected can enjoy paradise on earth ruled by Christ. I've talked to a few Jehovah's Witnesses (never ones who came to my door) who have stated they would rather stay on earth because they would be more likely to spend eternity with loved ones they knew during their lives.

[Schema Thing]

35. No. JW's don't want to go to heaven

They think that the 144K was pretty much filled in about 1935 (don't ask for the logic, it's beyond bizarre) and that everyone else has the opportunity to live forever on a paradise earth; so long as they accept Jehovah's Witness doctrine.

The reason they "don't try very hard" is that A) no one is buying it, and B) they aren't, for the most part, exactly sure how to sell their wacky beliefs if anyone *did* take the time to listen.

I forget the exact math, but if you look at their published number of hours spent knocking on doors (yep, they are counting their time) divided by the number of new converts, it comes out to many thousands of hours per convert. And it's really worse than that, because the vast majority of new converts don't come thru the door-to-door activity, but rather thru more informal "witnessing".

[lunatica]

16. I usually tell them I'm some other religion as if I'm offended

I'll say I'm Jewish or Catholic. And I say it in such a way that it appears I'm being judgmental of their religion. They don't come back for years.

The truth is I don't belong to any religion, although I can't say I'm an Atheist. I just don't believe in the God of any religion. I just don't think I know what the answer is on whether there is a MasterMind behind it all.

[rateyes]

19. Well, I'm a reformed seminary graduate myself.

And, I've come full circle to where you are.

[safeinOhio]

20. The first thing I ask them is

"what color underwear do you have on?"

[rateyes]

23. I really came close to just answering the door and asking

"How many damned times were you going to ring that thing, upsetting the dogs I know you hear barking, if no one ever came to the door?"

But, I saw the kid and didn't want to make that big a scene. But, when he asked me that question, I just popped off.

[Odin2005]

21. Congrats to your daughter!

JWs = assholes.

[rateyes]

25. Thank you.

She's really a great young woman. And, she married a fine young man.

[Rick Myers]

26. Congratulations!!!

[zenprole]

27. All God's creatures

How big are those three dogs, anyway? They might have solved the problem for you...

[rateyes]

28. They are out because they are sweet. One is a pit-bull mix,

and wouldn't hurt a flea riding on her back. Sweetest damned dog in the world.

Should have turned the pomeranians loose on him, though! :D

[Ian David]

29. They caught me in the driveway on my way to my grandmother's funeral.

I happened to be holding a water bottle that was capable of squirting.

[rateyes]

31. Baptized them, huh?

:hi:

[Ian David]

33. Oh, yeah. They tried to be good sports about it. "Oh, thank you. It's hot out here." n/t

[rateyes]

34. How nice of them.

:evilgrin:

[noamnety]

30. I learned not to open the door.

I crack an upstairs window open and find out what they want. (I feel obligated to ask in case they're bleeding to death and I need to call 911).

They aren't too anxious to have a conversation where they have to yell with their neck craned at an awkward angle, I like saying that I don't open the door to strangers because it lets them I know what I think of them (potential rapists and thieves).

:evilgrin:

[rateyes]

32. I didn't think about trying that.

Thanks for the tip!

[amborin]

36. Congratulations to the happy couple! and

".....Insulting the people you are trying to "reach" by suggesting they are lying to you doesn't do much for your cause."

exactly!

[cali]

38. Congratulations to your daughter. May her marriage be long and happpy.

and good on you for slamming the door on the rude fundies.

[rateyes]

40. Thanks, cali.

:hi:

[Berry Cool]

39. You were kinder than they deserve.

You're under no obligation at all to be polite to people who show up and knock on your door or ring your bell. Your home is your castle. Their presence was an intrusion, and at an especially bad time. They were lucky you didn't run them off with a weapon!

Congrats on your daughter's wedding.

[rateyes]

41. When are these folk going to realize that the day of ringing doorbells

is over? And, why they kept ringing the bell is beyond me. Inconsiderate as hell.

[Jeffersons Ghost]

42. K&R...

They've always pissed me off. I think I finally made their no fly list.
O8)

[flamin lib]

43. I quote the Bible at them:

Mark 6:11 : "And if any place will not welcome you or listen to you, shake the dust off your feet when you leave . . . "

[pipi_k]

44. Congratulations on your daughter's marriage, and in reply to the rude question

from the JW, I wonder how he would have responded if, when he asked if that was your usual response, you said...


"Only when you guys show up at my door with children, but if you want to know the truth, I'm upstairs watching porn and masturbating with the family's pot roast"


Then close the door and leave him to explain to his kid about adult activities

:7

[rateyes]

46. I'll keep that one in mind.

:rofl:

[tavalon]

50. I almost always think up something that great a few minutes too late

Every once in a while, I get them real time. Those are sublime moments.

[newspeak]

45. may your daughter and her other half have a long, happy union

I got two JW stories to tell. The first one, I'm in the bathtub and there's a knock on the door. I yelled to my four year old daughter to not answer the door. As I was wrapping myself in a towel, she opened the door. Now, I'm hiding behind the door with only a towel on while this man is saying his spiel. I tell him I was taking a bath and he keeps on talking-so I had to shut the door on him.

The other story-my dad was outside painting the house, when two JW's walked up to him and started preaching. He kept quietly painting and ignoring them. Finally, he told them that he'd listen to them if they would salute this (it was a tattoo on his arm that had the US flag with "death before dishonor"). They immediately left.

[proud2BlibKansan]

47. You should have gone to the door in your underwear with a firecracker in your hand

:evilgrin: