A Mass. mother's wish to be buried with son killed in Iraq could alter VA burial policy

[sabra]

Source: LA Times/AP

WASHINGTON (AP) — Denise Anderson lost her only son in the Iraq war. She's determined not to lose her fight to be buried with him in a national veterans cemetery.

Army Spc. Corey Shea died Nov. 12, 2008, in Mosul, with one about a month left on his tour of duty in Iraq. He was buried at the Massachusetts National Cemetery in Bourne, about 50 miles from his hometown of Mansfield, Mass.

A grieving Anderson, 42, soon hit an obstacle in her quest to be buried in the same plot with her son. That chance is offered only to the spouses or children of dead veterans; Corey Shea was 21, single and childless.

...

Anderson also sought a waiver. But under the VA's policy, she has to die first to get one, a limbo that Anderson finds tough to live with.

...

Anderson doesn't understand why her request can't be granted now. She is challenging the VA's burial policy with support from her congressman, Rep. Barney Frank, and Sen. John Kerry, D-Mass.

"The disproportion between what this country owes her and what she is asking is just as large as can be," Frank said.

Read more: http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/politics/wire/sns-ap-us-fallen-soldiers-mom,0,6969084.story

[superconnected]

1. I wonder how the son would feel about that.

[proud2BlibKansan]

2. Why? Do you think he would object?

[Betsy Ross]

3. There was no implication of objection

I think the poster was questioning how hurt her son might be.

[naaman fletcher]

7. He's dead.

I never understood why people care so much about where they are buried. There may or may not be an afterlife, but in the here and now you are simply gone. I am going to have myself cremated and spread around at sea or something so that my kids don't have to feel guilty about not coming to see my grave enough.

[renate]

8. fair enough, but not everyone feels that way

I'm going to be cremated too, but that's not the right choice for everyone. Some people care a lot about staying together after death, or about having a gravesite to visit. Whether you and I think a burial place is important is irrelevant to their feelings, which deserve as much as respect as ours.

This is such a sad story. Barney Frank is right--what she's asking for is so little in comparison to what was asked of her and her son.

[Dappleganger]

9. You can be cremated and stored

in a VA columbarium. That is where we put my mother, and when my father passes on that's where he'll go as well. It cost $300 to have her placed there (of course Dad is free). My sister and I can also choose to move them to another VA cemetary if we leave that area.

[southernyankeebelle]

4. The limits are there for a reason. They are running out of spaces at

Arlington. If she wants to bury her son she should bury in her own state that has veterans areas for burials. My dad and mother are at Arlington and I can understand why people would want to be there but there are only so many spaces.

[Tempest]

5. He wasn't buried at Arlington

From the article (which was posted):

He was buried at the Massachusetts National Cemetery in Bourne, about 50 miles from his hometown of Mansfield, Mass.

The cemetery allow spouses and children to be buried with the soldier. He had neither.

[KansDem]

6. I hope Ms. Anderson's request is granted...

My brother is buried with our dad at Ft. Rosecrans, Point Loma, California. Our dad, career Navy, died in 1954 and my brother in 1961 at the age of 13. Ever since then, when I visit the grave, I pay my respects to both of them.

I hope Ms. Anderson's request is granted...

[bigwillq]

10. I hope so too.

Thanks for sharing your story. :hug: