Don't ask, don't call home - - fiercely serving the US while gay & afraid to write home

[Bluebear]

Washington (CNN) -- There's a constant fear that hangs over some service members deployed to a war zone -- and it's not necessarily the threat from insurgents or roadside bombs.

One Marine serving in Afghanistan said suppressing the truth about his sexual orientation is gut-wrenching.

"I do worry a lot about being outed and kicked out," he said in an e-mail to CNN. "So far the military has been my livelihood and my source of work/income for the past six years. I don't want that all taken away from me and me being discharged anything but honorably."

The Marine requested anonymity because of the military's 1993 congressionally mandated "don't ask, don't tell" law prohibiting gay, lesbian and bisexual service members from coming out...

" all the time, especially on the phone," the Marine said. "If I call with him, it's brief and just yes/no answers. When I am on Facebook, I'll view my gay friends' pages but most of them are supporters and have a lot of don't ask, don't tell headlines so I quickly scroll or minimize the page in case anyone next to me happens to peep."

Even in his e-mail correspondence to CNN, the Marine said that he was using an extra small font in case someone peeking over his shoulder could see the words on the screen.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/12/23/gay.military.communication/index.html

[bobbolink]

1. K&R

[bigwillq]

2. K and R

:(

[jonnyblitz]

3. I left the navy after 10 years because I got tired of being

paranoid that i would get caught. I figured it was only a matter of time because i was getting up in rank and more noticed, particularly when most others of my rank where married with children and I didn't even have a girlfriend. People always "asked" nosey questions about ones personal life. It is a bizarre situation and feeling to be "illegal" based on orientation. Never fucking again.

On occasion I chat on yahoo with a closeted late 20's gay army captain who is presently in Kabul and we only discuss superficial stuff for fear of what is mentioned in the article. He was deployed to Iraq twice before that and i have been talking to him since about 2004 or 2005 when he responded to a profile I had on a gay "social" site.

[panader0]

5. I look for the day

when service to country doesn't consider orientation.

[jonnyblitz]

6. while I was in most people who i confided in (which was always

a risk) didn't give a shit, ESPECIALLY since I told them after they knew me well. Some serious bonding goes on between service members stationed together.

[Hello_Kitty]

10. I'm a straight female and I got investigated by NIS for being gay.

Apparently, I wasn't responding with appropriate enthusiasm to some of the lunkheads who were hitting on me. Oh, and I had a short haircut. :eyes:

[Nikki Stone1]

17. Another good reason to end DADT: Straight women can say "no" without being investigated.

And "lunkheads" is a nice term for some of them.

[msongs]

4. dont ask dont tell - his xmas president from obama and the dems nt

[jgraz]

7. So fucking ridiculous. This could be ended today.

Except it would take political courage. Nevermind...

[Raster]

12. I know! We'll just get our "fierce advocate" in the White House to end it with

his signature on an Executive Order. Unless of course he's busy praying and singing with Donnie McClosetcase and Pastor Purpose Driven Homophobe.

[Goldstein1984]

8. One word from the Commander-In-Chief

is all it would take.

[jgraz]

9. Well, not exactly. It would take one word

plus actually giving a shit.

[Goldstein1984]

13. I was trying to avoid charges of

"hate."

But I do wonder who he's caving to. I really believe he would change the policy if there were not something he fears in response.

Regardless, the president I thought I voted for would have done it by now.

I'm afraid he's courting the Center.

[TheWraith]

15. No it would not. Changing the law requires an act of Congress.

Please do some research.

[Goldstein1984]

16. Actually, you are correct

"Don't ask, don't tell" is a policy, not law. But the policy was Clinton's way of implementing the Military Personnel Eligibility Act of 1993. So, it would take no more than a word from Obama to reverse the policy, but more than a word to get the federal law repealed.

However, it seems to me that by eliminating the policy, and using his authority as Commander-In-Chief to prioritize enforcement of this federal law in the military under his ultimate command according to seriousness of the offense, I believe Obama could made a much better fight of it than he has.

All that said, I don't understand why any GLBT person would serve in the military of a nation that doesn't treat them equally.

[TheWraith]

21. Sort of.

"Don't ask, don't tell" was the Clinton compromise to try and moderate the existing policy, which was that any servicemember could be directly asked if they were gay and prosecuted if they lied. The original intent of DADT--which originally "don't ask, don't tell, don't pursue, don't harass"--was that sexual orientation should be ignored so long as no one else brought it up. (Obviously that backfired, and there have actually been more discharges under DADT than under the old policy, but that's beside the point.)

The sticking issue is that whatever the announced policy of the White House, Pentagon, etcetera, the government is still bound by the Military Personnel Eligibility Act of 1993, which explicitly says that anyone who "demonstrate(s) a propensity or intent to engage in homosexual acts" is basically unfit for military service, making it possible to toss them out. In other words, anything short of a new federal law is simply lip service, and to get anything more fair than the original principle of DADT (which obviously doesn't work) we're going to need to scrap that law. Currently that's slated to be a part of the 2011 Defense Authorization Act, which will be passing through Congress in 2010. Exactly what time next year is unknown, but I suspect it will be earlier rather than later. So within 12 months, this conversation should all be moot.

[Goldstein1984]

22. I think if I were a leader in the GLBT community, I might

announce a specific and reasonable date, upon which I wound ask all GLBT members of the service to tell if DADT is still in effect.

We'd see how that affects operational readiness.

I have a relative who left the service because of DADT. I'm ashamed of the policy (and the law).

[David Zephyr]

11. K&R. What a inhumane and wicked policy this is.

I can not believe that we have a Democrat in the White House that turns his head away to such injustice and cruelty.

But then, as Bill Moyers said, we hae a Nobel Peace Prize winning President who refuses to sign the international ban of land mines.

Thanks for posting this story, BlueBear.

Real lives. Real hurt. Real injustice. And we don't need to leave the United States to find it.

[bobbolink]

14. Yes, actually similar

to the prejudice that homeless people face.

And, among "progressives" to boot.

Too bad there isn't real support from one group to another.

[Bluebear]

23. In your honor . . .

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x7343618

Happy new year! :hug:

[bobbolink]

24. Awww..... sorry I didn't catch this earlier!

thank you soooo much!

I'm at a place where I feel like it's hopeless to try to work for more humane treatment of ALL humans.... it seems like we are determined as a species to make life miserable for each other. :cry:

Here's a bear hug---:hug:

[StarfarerBill]

18. K&R. History repeats itself once again.

Like the American citizens of color who fought courageously for this country in a segregated military only to come home to more of the same, gay and lesbian servicepeople are asked to fight for their second-class status. Despicable beyond words.

[amborin]

19. k&R

[Starry Messenger]

20. I can't imagine serving in a war and not being able to draw on support from home.

:( The time to end this is now.

[David Zephyr]

25. Kicking this up again.

Real lives. Real hurt. Real injustice. Right here in America.

[FreeState]

26. Error: you can only recommend threads which were started in the past 24 hours