Letter to Pat Robertson from Satan

[jmondine]

Got this on a mailing list I belong to. I don't know who to credit, but it made me feel like sharing.

Letter from Satan

"Dear Pat Robertson,

I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I'm all over that action. But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I'm no welcher. The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished. Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth -- glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle. Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake. Haven't you seen "Crossroads"? Or "Damn Yankees"? If I had a thing going with Haiti, there'd be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox -- that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it -- I'm just saying: Not how I roll. You're doing great work, Pat, and I don't want to clip your wings -- just, come on, you're making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad. Keep blaming God. That's working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract.

Best, Satan"

[BadgerKid]

1. Duplicate

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=389&topic_id=7479487


Hilarious nonethess.

[niyad]

2. may be a dupe, but fun nonetheless

[jmondine]

3. Ya know, I tried to scour the recent posts to check for dupes

Guess I didn't search far enough. My bad.

[wtmusic]

4. No bad, here on DU we call that a "French Kick"

Don't know what the French part comes from :silly: