I'm beginning to understand why people go on a rampage, or commit suicide

[SmileyRose]

Some guy, who's name I don't even know, a 50 something yr old guy that was "downsized" showed up at a Penske in Georgia this past week and shot the place up. He'll rot in jail. The dead people left kids and loved ones behind. And we are all scratching our heads wondering why.

I saw Haiti is erupting in violence. Theirs is obviously about bodily survival. It's been bad enough for a long time there. Probably the lid was barely on it to begin with but now, thinking not another living soul gives a shit, all bets would be off.

I remember over the years, every now and then a "ghetto" goes up in smoke. The people who are stuck there, or some part of them, finally have enough and snap. Fortunately, I lived a little more comfortably in life and do not fully understand why.

Today, something happened at my house and I snapped. Things have been tough at my house a very long time and I won't bore you with the details. But the truth is, if there had been a gun at my house, he would be dead and I would be in jail. Within 2 minutes it was gone. But for that brief moment I was fully drowning in shit and there was light let alone a tunnel. I'm not sure what stopped me from physical violence and will spend many days to come trying to decide what to do about it.


But this screed isn't really about me. This country, this planet, there's an awful lot of people trying to survive on shit sandwiches thanks to the predators amongst us. An awful lot of us are wobbling on an edge for whatever reason. You know what, sometimes all it takes is one person to be thoughtless or downright callous to set it off. But equally, sometimes all it takes is someone to smile as they walk by, or refrain from passing judgment just this once, or give you the last diet coke in the fridge pack or text Haiti to that number and toss 10 bucks to someone's physical survival.

I doubt anyone will read this far. It's probably nonsensical. But if you've waded into my particular pile of shit sandwiches this far, and if you have just a tiniest piece of yourself you can spare - please hand out a smile to the people you pass in the street today. Let someone in front of you out on the roads or in the line at the store. Hand a few coins or an unused item you own to someone who has even less.

I won't probably see the replies. I'm going to get my shoes on, wade out into the sunshine to go pickup what's on the grocery list and I'm going to find someone to smile at. I could really use one right about now.

[Zoeisright]

1. I'm glad you didn't snap and yes I do understand.

And you're right - just a smile can help.

[TwilightGardener]

2. Take care of yourself--hope things improve for you and your family.

[phantom power]

3. I sometimes wonder why it doesn't happen more often.

I also wonder why it isn't more frequently directed at CEOs and upper management. It always seems to be fellow co-workers, family, or other innocent people, who end up in the crossfire.

:shrug:

[malletgirl02]

8. Access

Its because Co-workers and family etc, are much easier to get to.

[Mojorabbit]

30. Yes, access

and I am so lucky because whenever I get really angry my hubby makes me laugh. This makes me even angrier for a moment before I totally dissolve into laughter. It keeps me on an even keel.

[WillyT]

4. Off To The Greatest Page !!! - K & R !!!

I'm right there with you.

:grouphug:

[ddeclue]

5. 1991 Quotes from the movie "Grand Canyon":

Dee: Jane, do you ever feel like you are just this far from being completely hysterical twenty four hours a day?
Jane: Half the people I know feel that way. The lucky ones feel that way. The rest of the people ARE hysterical twenty four hours a day

Davis: The point is there's a gulf in this country; an ever-widening abyss between the people who have stuff, and the people who don't have shit. It's like this big hole in the ground, as big as the fucking Grand Canyon, and what's come pouring out is an eruption of rage, and the rage creates violence, and the violence is real, Mack. Nothing's gonna make it go away, until someone changes something, which is not going to happen. And you may not like it, even I may not like it, but I can't pretend it isn't there because that it is a lie, and when art lies, it becomes worthless. So I gotta keep telling the truth, even if it scares the shit out of me, like it scares the shit out of you. Even if it means some motherfucker can blow a big hole in my leg for a watch, and I'm gonna walk with a fucking limp for the rest of my life and call myself lucky.

[mdmc]

9. kick

[bobbolink]

13. Beautiful dialogue....and so very true. Many times, artists know REALITY.

Thanks for posting that!

[WillyT]

19. Wow... Haven't Thought Of That Scene For Years... + 100

Well done...

:kick:

[SammyWinstonJack]

6. .

:-) :hug:

[quinnox]

7. There is no excuse for violence

And anyone who does violence it is their responsibility for what they do. Anyone who goes on a violent rampage gets no sympathy from me, only disgust!

[bobbolink]

15. Its people with that attitude who are the most likely to break.

Just like the moralistic Christians are the ones frequenting protitutes and lying about it,, and caught in public bathroooms soliciting.

"This above all, know yourself."

[seabeyond]

24. there are reasons.... not excuses. and they will pay the repercussions.

and it has nothing to do with sympathy. i imagine that is in the proper place with the victims.

[Hatchling]

28. - (minus) 1000!

Very often the ones who snap have been victims themselves who have received no sympathy or comfort. This is is the definition of "snap"in this context: To suffer a physical or mental breakdown, especially while under stress. http://www.thefreedictionary.com/snap

People who are that burdened deserve my sympathy (and yours!) as victims much as the people who become their victims.

[Romulox]

29. Self-defense is a human right.

I don't mean my comment to be a reflection on the OP--it is a response to the absolutism of your post.

[truedelphi]

37. person can see the OP one of two ways - one, as an "excuse"

For violence, or two, as an explanation.

Basically human beings are simply evolved mammals, and as such, we can and do reach our breaking point.

And I have thought about this for a while: when my dad was a young man, back in the late twenties and thirties, if you were feeling pretty frantic, you headed for the neighborhood tavern and picked a fight.

Which usually ended up with someone having a broken nose, or maybe broken ribs,if that.

Now we are so "civilized" and we are all taught to keep it all inside. Then when things in our life are sour for far too long, we don't have an outlet. So then we go postal, and a bunch of innocents are dead, and nothing is better.

[bobbolink]

10. What a beautiful post.... THANK YOU!

Yes, the rage is understandable, once you walk in someone else's shoes. The problem is, we are an "Us-Them" society, and we forget to look at the world as it is seen by others. We want to convert others to see it like WE do.

Almost two years ago, I met a librarian who had been homeless. She said that it is so grinding that she came to understand how people could drink themselves into a stupor to escape the pain of it. Now THAT is understanding....yet how many people are willing to make that leap?

Some of us get castigated all the time for "being angry", without people bothering to try to understand, as you have done. That lack of understanding increases the rage, so it is a vicious circle.

A big problem in this society is that when we speak of our pain softly, we are ignored, and told not to feel what we feel.

Too often, we aren't heard UNTIL we blow up.

[peace13]

11. Thanks for this.

I hope you get that much needed smile in person but just in case, I'm sending one your way. You have turned utter frustration into an opportunity for others to lend a smile or a hand. Thanks for that. peace, Kim

[dana_b]

12. I read that far

and I understand. :hug:

[Rebubula]

14. Drive By Trucker song

'I'm proud to say I ain't never no violent man
But I'd sure be rottin' in jail right now
If I'd a gun in my hand'

Guitar Man


Punching some asshole in the face for making lewd comments about my wife - Condone, but you still go to jail
Gunning down random people because the world sucks - MURDER

Nothing...NOTHING can condone or excuse random violence to innocent people or even people that you think have wronged you

I unrec'd your post for that reason. That said, I hope that your day gets better and you work through whatever set you off. The world needs thoughtful people.

[bobbolink]

17. Thank you for reminding me to rec a beautiful and HONEST thread.

[Control-Z]

35. It's not about excusing

or condoning random violence.

It is about understanding the plight of our fellow man. Recognizing that under the right (or wrong) circumstances most, if not all of us would probably be vulnerable to the possibility of snapping.

[SmileyRose]

38. I didn't go off

there was no yelling or fighting or outward violence. There never is. I am not a yeller and not one to use force, emotional or physical. But there was that moment, right after my soul shattered....

I don't mean to condone or excuse physical OR emotional violence - but today I realized people DO break. And if the difference between keeping our shit together and coming completely unglued is as fine a line as I learned today, then our small contributions to our neighbors and our community are just that much more important.

[happy_liberal]

16. K&R- not nonsensical at all

"you can talk a great philosophy
but if you can't be kind to people
every day
it doesn't mean that much to me
it's the little things you do
the little things you say
it's the love you give along the way

when we patch things up
they say a job well done
but when we ask the question why
where did the rips come from?
they say we are subversive
and extreme, of course
we are just trying to track a problem to it's source.

(Looking for the Holes-Ani Difranco)

[fizzgig]

18. i make it a point to smile at people

and for the reason you said. we need to be kind to each other more than ever right now and those small kindnesses can make all the difference.

peace to you

[HCE SuiGeneris]

20. You are not alone.

The predators suck, and the shit sandwiches are plentiful.

Big hug and a smile from me :hug: and much empathy too.

[EmeraldCityGrl]

21. Nothing is worth you losing your life.

Sending you good thoughts and a hope for resolution.

[tblue]

22. A former homicide detective told me most people booked for that crime

are just regular people who snapped. I'm soooooo glad you didn't have a gun.

Yes, random acts of kindness are important. Should be part of our daily lives. I walk around with a chip on my shoulder sometimes, but I'm getting much, much better.

[sharesunited]

23. And yet, having a gun always handy is recommended by so many.

As though an external threat is somehow the more prominent danger.

[Hekate]

25. Oh SmileyRose

:cry:
Others have walked in your shoes, and patched the holes in the bottoms, and kept going, not knowing how.
There will be better days for you.
You will live to see better days.
I promise.
:hug:

Hekate

[Greyhound]

26. I hear you. Peace. n/t

:hug:

[Gregorian]

27. Faith and goodwill.

I don't even mean religion. Even in the worst of times we need to remember that we don't know the future. Especially in the worst of times. The rage is a kind of protection from our worst fears.

I always appreciate hearing about goodwill. A very small amount can go a long long way. You're so right.

[lunatica]

31. I started smiling at people in the street right after Bush 'won' in 2004

But first I went into a deep depression for a couple of months. I realized I had been in a continuous state of agitation for four years. I had raged against the first stolen election and the Supreme Court selection and the two wars and the constant assault on our country and it's middle class. Everyone here knows what I mean.

So I decided that I needed to concentrate on things I had the power do to. I can make my little corner of the world a better place. To my surprise people reacted when I smiled and I felt good when they smiled at me. It seems we're all starved for a sign of friendship and acceptance.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

32. the majority of the people are ignored.

By coworkers and others.
Sometimes they have to threaten suicide or violence to get others to pay attention to them and take them seriously.

The whole business world nowadays is full of toxic, cruel and mean bosses, who can never be pleased.
And we wonder why the sensitive ones just can't take relentless, unyielding, and unjustified criticism from the boss or the spouse or the neighbor.

[prolesunited]

33. If you are that close to the edge

I hope you can find some way to get help or at least talk to family and friends to help reel you in. You cannot just sit on the edge. There may be no way back.

[Waiting For Everyman]

34. A hug to you, SR!

:hug:

I read to the end, I had a moment like that once too, and I agree with the rest of your post... and your last paragraph is exactly what I'm about to do right now too.

[Gregorian]

36. Here's something I think you might like.

I hope you understand. I sure did.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFhBSpSwgH8