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ThisThreadIsSatire Donating Member (697 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-21-10 01:13 PM
Original message
Edwards, Sanford Regain Media Spotlight
From http://thedesperateblogger.com/2010/01/edwards-sanford-regain-media-spotlight/

Realizing, almost simultaneously, how much time had elapsed since they were featured in any national news stories, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford and former North Carolina Senator John Edwards both managed to garner media attention today.

Sanford, delivering his final ‘State of the State Address’ again apologized for his affair with an obviously gullible Argentine woman to an otherwise fed-up group of South Carolina legislators, many of whom appeared in the chamber wielding torches, pitchforks, and lead pipes.

While outlining his agenda for his final year in both office and wedlock, the emotional Sanford, scanning the room for anyone who might be holding a rope, told the angry mob, “After this speech, those of you who have grown weary of my apologizing rest easy, because I won’t do it again. I am compelled to say that I’m sorry, one more time, for the situation I created.” (http://www.miamiherald.com/news/politics/AP/story/1437279.html)

The embattled Governor, who left his mistress in an effort to preserve his marriage and consequently no longer has a bird in either the hand or the bush, later added, “I assure all those present, as well as my family, my friends, and my supporters everywhere, that you will not hear another apology like this from me until I get caught cheating on my next wife.”

Meanwhile, John Edwards provided the surprise of the day by actually admitting that he is, in fact, the father of Frances Quinn Hunter, the out-of-wedlock daughter born to his former campaign aide Rielle Hunter, who, for about a year, has been generally considered by even the most casual of observers to be his child.

“I have been providing financial support for Quinn and have reached an agreement with her mother to continue providing support in the future,” Edwards said in a statement to The Associated Press. “To all those I have disappointed and hurt, these words will never be enough, but I am truly sorry.” (http://www.cbc.ca/world/story/2010/01/21/us-john-edwards-daughter-affair.html)

Edwards went on to add that he misses serving the people of his state and his country, and regrets that his actions will most likely preclude him from ever doing so again, saying, “If I had it to do all over, I’d have just posed nude for a centerfold so that I could run for the Senate again.”



In other news… White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs deflected criticism of the White House for not acting sooner to assist Martha Coakley in her Massachusetts Senate bid, telling reporters, “The only way anyone could have seen this coming would have been if Attorney General Coakley had posed for Playboy.”
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BrklynLiberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-21-10 01:16 PM
Response to Original message
1. Anything to distract from the Supreme Court decision...
Edited on Thu Jan-21-10 01:17 PM by BrklynLiberal
Why should all those people out there worry their beautiful minds about things like the personhood of corporations..or the concept that if you are rich enough, you can buy the exact government you want?

Bread and circus...once again.

I guess that is appropriate since our democracy will be going the way of the Roman Empire soon.
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ThisThreadIsSatire Donating Member (697 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-21-10 01:27 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. Amen, Brother (or Sister), also...
dying to see if either of these stories comes before Haiti on the nightly news...
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dgibby Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-21-10 02:07 PM
Response to Original message
3. Thanks. I needed that! n/t
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ThisThreadIsSatire Donating Member (697 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-21-10 03:35 PM
Response to Reply #3
5. After today's Supreme Court ruling...
... I'd kinda like to see Edwards the next appointee...

(Unfortunately too many will ask what he's wearing under the robe...)
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jsamuel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-21-10 02:09 PM
Response to Original message
4. zing!
"If I had it to do all over, I’d have just posed nude for a centerfold so that I could run for the Senate again."
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